Python

Poor Robert Englund. The only roles I see him in now at days are bit parts. I guess thats better than nothing at all. Actually, he's a bit more than that in this movie, but it's still sad to see Freddy being killed by a snake. Anyway, that being said, I kinda liked this film.I wasn't anything great, but it was till better than a lot of straight to video crap I've seen lately. The special evvects were decent. Not great, but decent. I liked the part where the snake's guts spilled out. One of the biggest problems I had with this movie was the box said the snake was 60 feet, and the movie said it was 129 feet. This is a fairly huge overlook. Where did they pull the number 60 from? Did they not want to watch the movie again, and guess? Stupid. I give it a 3 out of 5.

Characters

• John: Works at the acid plant. I'm not exacly sure why they keep huge containers of acid. I guess it's good business in a small town. Also a professional biker.
• Kristen: John's gal. Has a past with Greg.
• Greg: A deputy. Kind of a hard ass at first, but lightens up later.
• Theresa Tommy's girl. A lot smarter than he was.
• Dr. Anton Rudolph: Robert Englund! Your typical 'I want the monster alive' scientist type. Blows himself upin an attempt to take out the snake.
• Agent Bart Parker: Casper Van Dien. He has a really annoying accent. Gets his ass kicked prety early in this movie.
• Tommy: John's bud. Has raseberry colored hair. Works with Kenny.
• Griff: the sheriff of the town. Has some goofy looking teeth.
• Brian: John's brother. He's WAY too uptight. Runs the family business.
• Lou: Annoying deputy. Really overdramatic.
• Kenny The Closer: Real estate agent that needs to lay off the caffene.
• Francesca: Odd woman with the weirdest facial expressions you'll ever see.
• Lisa: Bisexual slut. Chomped early on.
• Roberta: Lesbian. Chomped.

The Totals

• Body Count: 13
• Weapons Used: Acid, a park bench, a jungle gym, guns, shampoo, a wet towel, a rubber duckie, a truck, a 2X4, and acid.
• Random Breast Shot: 2
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Ominous thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 7
• Times a professional biker ran into a parked car: 2

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Lesbians don't like to be called Robert.
• Yeah, we get it. He's a good biker.
• Water Treatment Facilities are built to survive nuclear holocausts.
• I like how they pause to put thier helmets on, even though they're being chased by a giant snake.
• This snake can bust through steel doors, but not a wooden crate?