Pythons 2

I knew better. I really did. The slowest part of the first Python was where the survivors held up in an underground bunker, and that was the whole plot of Part 2. Greg Larson, the sheriff, returns to collect DNA from more giant snakes. It all goes to hell and they hide till the end. There were some lacklust twists and turns along the way, including multiple snakes popping up. I have to admit that the snakes did look beter in this one, but special effects and explosions are never a match for a good story or actors. 1.5 out of 5.

Characters

• DWIGHT: A baseball player that hit someone in the head with a ball, so now he smuggles stuff.... or something like that. Weird. His only real funtion seems to be throwing things.
• GREG: The sheriff from the first flick. I guess he got a huge promotion as a secret agent and is now in charge of hunting the mutant snakes. I'm not sure if he died or not.
• NADIA: Redhead Russian chic who is Dwight's wife.
• MATTHEW: A soilder boy. Chomped and falls to his death.
• BOYCE: Travels with Dwight and Nadia. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure why. I think he helps load stuff or something. Chomped.
• A bunch of other stupid soilder types: All dead.

The Totals

• Body Count: 10. Plus dozens more in crashes, gun fights and off screen snake attacks.
• Weapons Used: Guns, a fire extinguisher, a flare, bombs, gernades, a pipe, and a cell phone wrapped in C-4.
• Random Breast Shot: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 2
• Ominous thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 43. Yeah, I said 43.

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Mutant snalkes can grow and shrink.
• A blind woman with a flare can fend off a giant snake that the Russian Army could not.
• You have to lick your fingers before you throw a cell phone wrapped in C-4.