Return to Horror High

It's like a cross between April Fool's Day and Prom Night. I'm embarassed that I didn't understand everything that was going on, but it was just unnecessarily complicated. It's one of theose movies where despite allof the blood and body parts found, no one ever dies. 1.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Steven: Cop who survived the original massacre at Horror High. Plays a cop in the movie.
• Callie: Actress hired to play the lead role in the movie.
• Josh: Director of the film. Gets really stressed out. Decapitated?
• Arthur: The writer of the film. Wait... there was a writer?
• Principal Kastleman: The killer in the film... I guess...
• Harry: The producer of the movie. A really sleezy guy. Decapitated?
• Freddie: Another producer of the movie. Cut up and flushed down the toilet?
• Oliver: George Clooney! Plays a cop in the film who gets another job. Whatever.
• Amos: Janitor who aspires to be a porn star. But he doesn't really exist.
• Robbie: Make-up guy. Chopped in a giant fan?
• The Others: A bunch of other stupid crew and actors.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 12. No, 1. No, 0. AHHHH!!!
• Weapons Used: None, because NO ONE DIED!
• Breast Shots: 3
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 0

Random Thought and Things Learned

• Exploding Prostetic Breast!
• Janitor skills come in handy when killing people.
• Actors are really easy to kill.
• These people are suppose to be teenagers?
• Eh, a cheesy love scene complete with bad 80's music.
• High schools have secret underground passageways and classrooms.
• Police officers don't ever check to see if someone is really dead, they just assume.