Satan's Cheerleaders

A oddball horror movie about abducted airhead cheerleaders and Satan worshipers. Except for the off-screen rape, this was pretty tame and light-hearted. A lot of dumb cheerleader jokes, and not really that scary. Virtually no gore or deaths. But the cheerleaders were hot! Not what I would call a must-see flick. 1.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Patti: Cheerleader who gets possessed by a demon or something.
• Debbie: Slut type cheerleader.
• Chris: Really hot cheerleader.
• Sharon: Yet another cheerleader.
• Ms. Johnson: Cheerleading teacher. The bigest ditz of the bunch. Also very clueless. Gets raped by the Sheriff.
• Stevie: Debbie's man and apparently a good football player.
• Billy the Janitor: Wear's rhynestones and is a peeping tom. Also dabbles in the black magic. Killed. No... lives. Killed again. What? ALIVE?!
• Emma: Sheriff's Wife and High Priestess. Hates the cheerleaders and tries to kill them. Killed by pissed off dogs.
• Sheriff Bub: Leader of the local Satan worshipers. Falls out of Satan's good graces when he rapes his would-be wife. Killed by Billy.
• Gyppo, the evil dwarf: I'm not sure who he was, but he was in the credits, and he has a funny name.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 2
• Weapons Used: Water, balloons, a big hill, a sharp object and angry dogs.
• Breast Shots: 2
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 0

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Is this song going to play during the entire movie?
• Coaches don't know where their own locker rooms are.
• Devil worshipers build crappy prisons.
• A Drewed search party!