Silent Night, Bloody Night 5: The Toy Maker

Well, at least it's better than parts 3 and 4. A stranger is sending toys to a younge boy. The problem is that the toys are made to kill people. This movie is the bastard child of Pinochio and Demonic Toys. And wait.... was that Ricky from part 4?!?! I'd skip this one. In fact the only movie out of the whole series that's worth watching is Part 2. I deem this one a 2 out of 5.

Characters:

• Derek: Little boy who starts recieving toys that kills people. Needless to say, he develops a slight phobea.
• Sarah: Mother of Derek. She may be a mom, but she still knows how to get it on in the backseat of a car!
• Noah: Astranged father of Derek. Returns to reclaim his family and kick some toy ass!
• Joe: Alcoholic toymaker who also dabbles in the robot department. Killed by methods unknown.
• Pino: 'Son' of Joe. Did you see the little quotation marks I used there?
• Kim: Neighbor and friend of Sarah's.
• Brandy: Babysitter who gets the crap kicked out of her by varous toys.
• Tom: Derek's step-father? Killed early on by an evil Santa ball thing.
• Buck: The horny boyfriend of the babysitter type. Killed by demonic toy car.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 4
• Weapons Used: A evil Santa ball, a fire poker, Larry The Lizard, a bottle, stairs, a bat, rollerblades, a watergun, boxes, a screwdriver, a knife, and an axe.
• Breast Shots: 0. Tease...
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 1
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 2

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• See? That's what happens to you if you open your presents before x-mas.
• Dual sex scenes!
• This is very wrong...
• Punchng a robot is not very effective.