Snake Island (2002)

A small tour boat is stranded on an island that is notorious for well... snakes. Soon teh group is getting picked off by the slithery critters and they frantically try to find a way to escape. I was actually surprsed to discover I dug this flick for a few different reasons. First, this movie used REAL snakes. Real snakes can creep me out. Computer generated snames in movies like Python, Pythons 2, Anaconda and King Cobra don't really scare me, just make me laugh. I also liked the way you couldn't really tell who was going to live and die thoughout the movie. It kinda kept you on your toes. Overall, a pretty good killer animal flick. I'd recommend it over any of the snake moves listed above. 3.5 out of 5.

Characters

• Malcolm: A suspence writer who is on a trip to Africa to get some motivation for his next book. Gets bitten by his motivation several times but lives.
• Jake: Runs the tourboat that gets stuck on Snake Island. Older guy, but still gets plenty of action.
• Heather: A tourist who is actually smart enough to attempt to snake-proof her room. Lives.
• Eddie: The safari hunter kind of guy who runs a hotel on the island. Kills a lot of snkes and they don't appeciate it too much. Chomped on by dozens of snakes.
• Lisa: Black chick who knows the secret to starting a party is to get drunk and dance topless. Bitten by a snake in the shower and dies in a near by field.
• Carrie: Newlywed bride on her honeymoon. She really hates snakes, and it gets worse when she and gets killed by one.
• Lance: Carrie's new husband who actually likes the whole snake thing, until he gets killed by them at least.
• Righteous: Runs the boat for the tours. Doesn't have any real lines until he is about to die. Falls out of a tree and is found dead soon after.
• Ronnie: Akso helps run the tour, and turns into a real bitch when she gets turned down for sex. Falls out of a tree and is then bitten.

The Totals

• Body Count: 10
• Weapons Used: A stick, guns, a fire extinguisher, a chair, a basket, pillows, and a lawn mower.
• Breast Shots: 2
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 2
• Thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 0

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• If you don't like snakes, then why are you going to Snake Island?
• Were those snakes dancing?
• Snakes need lovin' too!
• A shower curtain does not make adequate clothing.
• Snakes can be mistaken as erections.