Sorority House Massacre

An incerdibly generic 80's slasher flick. If you rent this movie, you know what you're getting yourself into by the title alone. You get your bad actors, cheesy music, typical story, your body count, and your tit shots. The story is like Halloween, but not nearly as good. A mental patient escapes an institution, and goes on a killing spree looking to kill his long lost sister. Blagh, blagh, blagh, the end. 1 out of 5.

Characters

• Beth: Has a psychic connection to the killer. Has a lot of delusions.
• Linda: A psychology student. Stabbed.
• Sara: Terrible fasion sense. Can spot a scar for 10 feet away. Stabbed.
• Tracy: Kind of mouthy. Stabbed.
• Bobby: The One-Dimentional Michael Meyers wanna be. Stabbed.
• Andy Looks like a dweeb. Stabbed.
• John: Has a thing for Beth. Stabbed.
• Craig: Stabbed.
• Mrs. Lawrence: Lady in charge of the house.
• Dr. Lindsey: The killer's doctor.

The Totals

• Body Count: 8
• Weapons Used: A knife, a window sill, pepper spray, and a shovel.
• Random Breast Shot: 3
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 3
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 0

Random Thoughts

• If the rest of this movie is as terrible as that opening graphic, I'm in for a LONNNNNG move.
• Where did these girls learn to dress themselves?
• Aren't these girls a little to old to play dress-up?
• Please make this terrible music stop!
• Never call a man with a large knife a shoplifter.
• Enough with the dreams already!
• He's killing the teepee! Oh no! For the love of God, no!
• When it comes to life or death situations, college kids are really stupid.
• A killer can fly through a second story window with nothing to jump from.
• Deadbolts are extremely hard to operate.
• Pepper spray is to be shot into the attacker's eye's, not his hands.