Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

A small group of friends pick up an emotional disturbed girl who commits suicide in front of them. They are then reloacted to a small farm where they are one by one picked off and disemboweled by a chainsaw weilding freak. This one of course was suppose to be a re-make off the 1974 original. I know that different directors and prducersa like to change things a little, but this movie came off as just another sequel rather than a re-make. It had none of the same characters, save Leatherface, and was nothing like the lot of the first. It did what all three of the other sequels did. Put Leatherface in a totally different psycho family and have a group of motorists stumble on them. This flick had a pretty good amount of gore in it. Some of the death scenes were vague, but there were dismemebered body parts all over. The movie seemed to drag on a bit but it still had a good sequence or two. Over all, was it didn't touch the original, and it dragged on at times. If you're a huge fan of the series, see it. If not don't bother. 2.5 out of 5.

Characters

• Erin: One of those chicks that knows how to hot wire a car and pick locks. In other words very handy to have when running from psychos with chainsaws.
• Morgan: The nerdy friend of the bunch who knew it was time to leave when body parts began to surface. Beaten and sawed from the crotch up.
• Pepper: New friend who was catching a ride. She lasted baout four seconds with Leatherface.
• Andy: The jock of the bunch. Gets his leg sawed off and he is then hung on a meat hook for most of the movie. Poor bastard finally gets stabbed.
• Kemper: Erin's man who means well but ends up makeing a lot of bad decisions. Beaten over the head with a sledgehammer and face skinned off.
• Thomas Hewitt (Leatherface): Wears other people's faces as a mask to hide his own. Gets his arm cut off but lives.
• Sheriff Hoyt: Psycho law enforcement for the town. The kind of guy that gropes dead bodies. Also part of the killer family. Gets ran down several times with a car.
• Jedidiah: Freak redneck kid who is going to need some serious orthodontic work down the road. The only decent member of the family who tries to help the victims.
• Teenage Girl: Found wandering the county road. She's a little past gone in the head and shots herself.
• Old Monty: Amputee who has no legs an is in general an old dirty bastard.
• Henrietta: Another psycho family memebr who abducted a baby from one of the massacred familys.

The Totals

• Body Count: 8, plus tons of body parts laying around.
• Weapons Used: A chainsaw, a hook, a bottle, a car, a gun, salt, a sledgehammer, and a knife.
• Breast Shots: 0
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 2
• Thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 0
• Doors destroyed by Leatherface: 4

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Reason number 127 not to pick up hitchhikers: They might pull a gun out of their crotch and blow their own brians out.
• A marijuana pinata!
• Old men in wheelchairs are dirty fighters.
• It is never a good idea to jerk the steering wheel of a semi out of a trucker's hands.