The Greenskeeper

A group of prepy country club assholes decide to hold a party at the golf corse after close. Soon someone dressed in a greenskeeper outfit starts killing them in a very brutal fashion. A very odd and cheesy horror flick. Almost too cheesy at points, especailly in the opening credits where we get intoroduced to the characters with very chipper music. All the friends were very flat characters. They were all stuck up drug useing rich kids. Not very interesting to watch after a while. Nice gore scenes though, and an awkward sex scene in a golf cart. I just find it hard to be intimidated by a killer that drove around in a golf cart. 2 out of 5.

Characters

• Alan: With a sexy name like that he has to be the lead! N-e-way, this guy has some real assholes in his life, including his family and most of his friends. Fortunately most of them die.
• Elena: Girl that works at the country club, that catches Alan's eye. She spends a lot of thier first date avioding his druged up friends and a killer with a hedge trimmer. I've had worse dates.
• Otis: Alan's only real friend, who works with him in the maintenance shed.
• Mary Katherine: Alan's current girlfriend who is too hot for him, but treats him like shit. She sooo deserved her own death sceen but we'll have to settle for getting nails jammed into her head off screen.
• Mary Jane: Another stuck up friend who likes sex in golf carts. Stabbed in teh back with hedge trimmers and ran over with a golf cart.
• Mary Beth: Are you seeing a pattern here? Another stuck up bitch. This one gets a post hole digger through the chest!
• Chas, Chet, Champ: I'll be honset with you... I have no idea which one was which. But they were all coke addict country club dicks who died deservedly bloody deaths.
• Styles: Alan's pothead roomate who loves cheesy horror movies. Doesn't have much to do with anything.
• Chip: Tennis coach and the director of this film, which makes it all the more enjoyable to see him die by getting nails shot through his head.
• John: Alan's stepfather who ends up being the killer. Decapitated by a lawnmower blade.
• Officer Cox: Lost memebr of the Village People. SOmehow lives.
• Stu: Another friend. Likes unicorns, but really sucks at Marko Pollo. Drowned.
• The Greenskeeper: Alan's father who was burned severly years ago and has been hiding in the woods near the country club for years. Dies.

The Totals

• Body Count: 12
• Weapons Used: Hedge trimmers, a golf cart, nails, a tennis ball machine, a golf ball, a golf club, a hook, a hole digger, a rake, a bat, a gun, a sprinkler, and a lawn mower.
• Breast Shots: 1
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 3
• Thunderstorms: 1
• Explosions: 1

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Hot chicks don't shit.
• Grown men should never refer to their fathers as 'daddy.'
• I never knew a sex scene could be this hard to watch. Luckily it didn't last that long.. thanks to him.
• Here comes the 'here's my evil plan before I kill you' scene.
• Haveing your father's blood sprayed on you is funny.