Troll 2

A family goes on vacation in the small town of Nilbog and soon find themselves being drooled over by the evil vegetarian goblins who want to turn them into produce and eat them. First off, there were no trolls in Troll 2. All of the actors wore one facial expression the entire movie. The kid looked confussed. The mother looked surprised. The father looked angry. And the sister looked goofy. To sum it up, I've reviewed a lot of movies, but few had this terrible of acting. The story sucked too. BOO! 1/2 out of 5.

Characters:

• Joshua: Little boy who always looks confused. Always talking about goblins and his dead grandpa.
• Grampa Seth: Dead grandfatehr of Josh'es who comes back to give him goblin killing advice, words of wisdom, and deadly weapons like fire extinguishers and hambergers.
• Holly: Josh'es siter who's only purpose is to be annoying and dance really badly. She's also the kind of girl who hate's her boyfriend haveing friends.
• Elliot: Holly's man, who brings his friends to her family trip. This has to be the lamest road trip ever.
• Michael & Diane: Josh'es parents. He is kind of clueless, and she has to be one of the worse actressess I've ever seen. She has a constant look of shock on her face. She gets turned into a goblin salad bar.
• Creedence: The leader of the goblin people. Waaaaay overdramatic.
• Arnold, Drew, & Brent: Elliot's idiots friends who get picked off one-by-one by the evil goblins. One gets turned into a plant and chainsawed. The otehr two are presumes goblin fooder.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 5
• Weapons Used: Green food, popcorn, fire, and a hamberger.
• Breast Shots: 0.
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 0. But they are all really stupid.
• Ominous thunderstorms: 0
• Explosions: 0
• Baseballs with evil messages: 2

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• If you don't want your family to eat something, piss on it.
• When spying on goblins never travel by skateboard.
• A cop giving pasteries away?! Something suspicious here...
• Bad danceing will awaken the spirit of your dead grandfather.