When the Screaming Stops

A German horror movie about a creature that lives in an underwater cave that comes out to kill people for their hearts. As far as the creature goes, it's a hot chic one second, and a Swap Thing type monster the next. Talk about beer goggles. This was kind of a strange movie. One thing that made it strange was the fact that the movie gave us a red flash across the screen right before someone was about to be killed. The costume looked cheesy, but I dug most of the movie. At least it was creative. 3.5 out of 5.

Characters:

• Sirgurd: A great hunter (cough cough) hired to protect girls at a local school and to hunt down the beast killing people. Spends most of his time hitting on local chics, including the monster he's suppose to be killing.
• Lorelei: Mysterious chic who rides around in a coach and hangs around a muddy pond in a sexy bikini. Turns out to be the monster and is therefore stabbed with the magical dagger.
• Elke: Chic who runs the girl's dorm and has a secret crush on Sirgurd. She plays the girl in peril a lot.
• Professor: Dude who looks like Coronal Sanders from KFC. Does research on the creature, but accidently pours acid on his face.

The Totals:

• Body Count: 10
• Weapons Used: Guns, acid, a whip, a dagger, and explosives.
• Breast Shots: 3
• Moments where characters are mysteriously unable to run from certain death: 3
• Ominous thunderstorms: 3
• Explosions: 0

Random Thoughts and Things Learned

• Always be suspicious of a beautiful woman who rides around in a carrage and hangs out in a swamp..
• Hearts are not attached to anything.
• 'Great hunters' are really clueless.
• Hummmmm..... the monster's name is Lorelei. And her name is Lorelei. What am I overlooking here?