geometry
geometrically grown facial features
you can sense the liar from the preacher
tied, gel haired, mister hand-shaker
told through your shown
and I unfold
something bold not previously told
cold
emptying her tears into her ears
so sincere
this is not a mortal sin I’ve convinced
myself
but it was felt
and I saw in your face
the same shapes
you in my place
hurting someone
so you and I
with these sense of sameness
symmetry is evolutionarily perceived
as a sign of beauty
yet we both feel
pull of polar opposites
coupled with the push
when identical snowflakes get too close
the concept of free will
these roots
which as a seed I created
so I could suck the nutrients out of the soil
and I inhaled
anything indiscriminately
be it oil or rainwater
acidic or pacific
and growth occurred as a result
stems, leaves, and blooms
under the moon
flowering for everyone to wake up to
when the sun is up
the leaves suck much
of the sunlight’s energy
and the tree proceeds to impede
on the parts of the air
less pressured via atmosphere
soaking up so much sunlight
the roots rip through the soil
un-restraining can feel so draining
until one kicks free the final foothold
and behold the old
free to finally reach
big dipper whispers
these quiet whispers
sliding so close to silence
sneaking suspiciously beside sin
please supress your words
don’t storm at me
these whispers were not said by I
though I find ‘fore the forehead
the whisper
but he/she is not me
it is not me
it was created years ago
possibly tens of thousands of years ago
a million years ago?
don't know
never will know
but these whispers
push me from stability
I didn’t whisper that
so please don’t yell back
trying to not act
on some whispers
that may predate
the big dipper
who these whispers are
demons
demons and angels
that only God could build
only he could will
only he could kill
I merely ignore
as they paralyze me in response
like nails on a cross
barefoot on hardwood floors
She shows up in my telephone
dancing barefoot on hardwood floors
twisting and turning
spinning and smiling
wearing a tight tanktop
and cotton shorts
reaching through
trying to find my hand
to pull me through
so I’m barefoot in
T-shirt and gym shorts
twirling and tossing
her through the air
she flies
and lands on a branch
so softly
so gracefully
and I wish
as I watch her searching hand
that I could put my hand over
and be pulled through
the gospel of the Lord
the gospel of the Lord
what you loved and later wronged
will develop into something
better than what you past loved
and it will drive you insane
you build confidence and sociality
in others
like a good Samaritan
who did nothing
but ride the genetic rollercoaster
to do such good deeds
and you will feel weird
riding the ride and having good times
by simply staying buckled in your seat
keeping your hands and arms
inside the car
energy
recycling and manifesting energy
my body has this energy
that’s been used to
run
around
in
circles
feeling like I’m doing nothing
when there’s so much energy
to do something
but what something?
sexual, political, comedic, creative, educational
spiritual, charitable, and human energies
into what form of energy
should I turn this energy in my body?
poetic energy, I suppose
until I choose with consistency
something better
profound thoughts on death
my brother has been dead for over a year
and all I can say is
don’t drink and drive
life cannot happen without death
and that’s about it
Josh (and I) didn’t believe in heaven
he thought we were just energy
and dissipated upon death
so we die
abstractly, we live for as long as life lives
for our actions shape the world
but that’s about it
for some reason
I feel as if
there should be something more profound to say
about how my brother’s been dead for over a year
I am logical and full of biological waste
I have three brothers
one claimed to see evil and good auras around people
and to possess the ability to do out of body experiences
another talks to the moon quite often
and seems to believe the atmosphere has a soul
another says he’s experienced God
and knows heaven is not just a state of mind
myself
on the other hand
do not believe in objective good or bad
do not believe in mind without matter
do not believe the atmosphere has a soul
for it is merely biological waste
therefore shit should have souls under his belief
do not believe anyone experiences God
God in the sense of Yahweh or another particular deity
Nor do I believe in consciousness after death
I believe in logic being the best form of thought
that human beings are capable of
mysticism is just a form of logic
an unreliable form
but my brothers
who seem to be my twins
why with such similar experiences
have I ended up so non-mystical?
maybe it has something to do
with myself being the only one
to ever be devout Catholic
and experiencing so many folks
who believe in destiny and all sorts of shit
maybe I’m full of shit
I believe in mystical stuff too
mentalism, the power of the brain
pseudo-science
my brothers are logic machines too
like me
this confusion this poem illustrates
is what happens when you label people
and then analyze
because as Lao-zu would hint
once you label,
you’ve perverted your perception of reality
one should not
one shouldn’t chastise the tiger
for killing conscious life
without declaring
the beautiful stripes
incredible athletic potential for quickness
and other attributes of genetic success
one shouldn’t mock the pigeon
for the seeming lack of intelligence
for have you yet mastered flight
soared through the air
effortlessly and beautifully?
one could mock and chastise
the superstitions of ancient religions
from the Nile
across the Mediterranean
to Rome and beyond
but one is an utter fool
to ignore
the sensibility in some messages
the architectural brilliance and innovation
pyramids and cathedrals
built by people
people like the people
whom today, you will greet and judge
moonlight is not really moonlight
her seeming swollen eyes
stare down at the sidewalk
illuminated by a crescent moon
and reminds herself it’s really
just grabbing the sun’s light
and pretending it is the moon’s
going inside
she watches TV
before bathroom break
she washes away her rosy cheeks
commercial
commercial
commercial
males say the most asinine things
human beings say the most asinine things
turn off the TV, go to bed
suffocate that pillow with your head
falling asleep
with it left caked on your
eyes and eyelashes
nonsense is wearing
I haven’t processed what just happened to me
I heard you breathing
perceptions fleeting
heart keeps on beating
but brain is not breathing
this whole universe is so incredibly crazy
talking wheels and carburetors
driving left, right, up, and down
to town from town all around
do you hear the sound
anything separate from the stimuli
nonsense is wearing
muscles never cease tearing
we talked about preschool
you sat down and smiled at me
we talked about preschool
pale buckets and blue shoes
tap hats and tutus
I once made a Jacuzzi in the creek
something cold and slimy for your feet
when’s the last time you climbed a tree
your knees rocked into mine
spoke of so many TV memories
what if storage has capacity
anyone can do anything it’s all about direction
a focus of sunlight will feed
incalculable numbers all quite recyclable
I pushed my knees into you
you pushed back and broke through
I got a little carried away
with that nonsense imaginary ball charade
all my good traits lined up to parade
so caught up I’ve cut down the narration
that tends to keep Earth and I in separation
thoughtlessness
I’m in love with everything indiscriminately
we tap dance
we clap hands
I’ll play drums on your thumbs
you sweep in
endorphins
you’re so artistic
and here I am
and here you are
some time ticking afar orbiting some other star
and it’s good
values
if you were bleeding would I come to you
only after equations
‘bout your past self-medications
do I ever know what the hell I’m doing here
waving bandages and scissors screaming about something
you better change that question
or decrease the value in it
so if you smiled would I smile back?
when I go in heat
Pretty easy ‘bout this celibacy
except the few times when I go in heat
no confession but repression
of these hot hot thoughts
don’t understand if it will end or not
I’m more than an animal
I’m more than an animal
I tell myself
I want nothing if it means the same
not gonna get chased in circles
by this bullshit game
so talk to me talk to me
but don’t show those signs
I want your hi-s not your lie-s
to get I inside your thighs
why can’t a smile
and a laugh
be taken just as that
and nothing more
want nothing more
please please implore no more
I want to explore not be anchored
with necking
and sexing
and certain expecting
I’m more than an animal
I’m more than an animal
I tell myself
and somehow
thankfully somehow
I make it before I melt
the center
sunshine silhouette smiling
the lips and eyes outlined
the rest is too bright or not enough
gotta hold to the center
or you go blind
hold to the center and you’ll be fine
so what I see is nice
hair and legs and lips and teeth and eyes
is the little bit I see and perceive
understand where it will be
so little else can I see
pay attention to what you pay attention to
getting more out of life than anyone
can’t even imagine
everyday increases in wonderful worth
don’t listen to my lies if I say otherwise
trust me, they’ll be lies
and this spiral vortex
sucks me supersonic speed to
what’s next
I accept
the best is what I should expect
we focus for a reason
[you] pay attention to what you pay attention to
and you’ll see the vortexes
please believe in what you see
in what you smell
and hear
and feel
and taste
especially what you see
never memories
nor the imaginary
it’s so much better that way
please believe me
mystery and consistent maybes
she wrote poems about me
and haikus
haikus arranged with haikus to make an epic poem
reminding me of reality
divinity drawn up by distress
imagining I’m impressed
to keep inhaling
the lyrical fumes of
analysis about me
narcissism, nothing
better move along before distress
takes off her dress
to ingest my chest and its contents
a heart and a soul
sucked and swallowed whole
I’m a June-born Cancer baby
mystery and consistent maybes
must have she must have got it from that hippie
friend of hers
that confrontational, mystical, interesting human being
of who I’m not sure
but I’d prefer
her over her
because maybe just maybe it would be beautiful
I’m sure she’d be cool
and then, Distress
would watch and when depressed
she’d write about me
so I could escape and still
inhale those haikus arranged with haikus to make epic poems
get me high ‘til I’m piss blind
ovulation
demands on prehistoric population
the pheromone invasion
tries to get me high
‘til I’m piss blind with naked thighs
I move away into another cloud
with a colorful shroud
I couldn’t see around
next thing I found
myself tied with belts
unable to self-help
and it’s pretty embarrassing
quite humiliating
to find yourself in that situation
washed away from me
broken babblings become
ridiculous run-on ramblings
when I was a child
I had a unique likeable personality
and few friends
then TV, school, something
washed it away
to another place
out of reach
until it returned to the beach
and I remembered that I
liked to learn a lot
questioning everything
seven skip to seventeen
have I forgotten anything ?
I have before
and I feel there’s someway
I used to succeed
that's washed away from me
to another place
out of reach
wandering and bothering the beach
looking out to sea
not sure what I’m looking for
nor whether I would want
anything that washed ashore
just to know
with a drink in her hand
watching me stand
watching me dance
to the band
looking when she’s looking
then looking away
nonchalantly
oh how I’d love to try
to have the time
to ask your sign
as your age
read your page
your ways
the shade you see through
just to know
I’d love to go
at your throat
just to know
what could grow below
but I only look
maybe a few words
I’ll forget I heard
it's not a matter of better
that I yearn for
I just wish
I could
just to know
absurd words
you said what you said and you know what I mean
absurd words that deserved to be misheard
obscure infers sure cure
you said what you said
you don’t comprehend what you comprehend
in the end my friend in the end
but you speak weak to me
strength is more than stretched skin
when you begin
my friend
you will comprehend
and we will exchange rain
act strange and pertain
a grasp on everything
she was jesus
she was jesus
I was mary
I said jesus
your legs aren’t that hairy
she shared no cares
about her lack of hairs
jesus said thou shouldn’t hide
thou should fly
get high
with naked thighs
who would cover your candle
your light on the world
we are the light of the world
do you want the light of the world covered?
I said I didn’t know
I guess not
so we were naked covered only by the car’s top
before she fixed that, I got her to stop
but I felt better
I feel warmer
when I can feel the sunlight
more than before
and I understood
when I remembered
she was jesus
nervous ramblings
clumsy incessant chatterbox
he talks and he talks and he talks
he likes you a lot
he likes you a whole lot
the bond is neutral, completely mutual
it seems so unusual
sometimes he is overcome
by everything and everyone
things are so drastically different
isolated and interrogated every instant
there’s an overload
he’s been told he can overload
thank god they’re neutral
not being pulled around
or dissolved easier
just because they’re acidic or basic
encountering the one least different
he can chatter incessantly
clumsy as cat on catnip
you kiss lips
with a cat clumsily cranked on catnip
emotions? no
emotions? no
I don’t know
Where’d they go?
so here I float
with how the water flows
I can’t read
Your non-subtle signs
Maybe a change
in planes
of existence will fix this
declaration of independence
I hold these truths to be self-evident
for which I’ll govern this body
and according to experience
at an unspecified point in history
I will reconsider
and reform
and evolve
and completely replace
these truths when they no longer seem self-evident
when they dissatisfy
some unspecified
part of the I
and this will certainly occur
as if a commandment on high
to be this object
spirit, being, energy, ball of mass
that runs blindly into the night
stumbling and tumbling
smashing and crashing
feeling out and imagining
a way of moving
better
and holding this light of truth
green eyes
saw her smile
for a long while
on the same face
in a different place
missing green eyes
but I won’t lie
why even try
to divide
the same person
just different eyes
her manner
spoken stammer
nailed down with a hammer
and saw the same twinkle
in the same eyes
despite the different color
of reflected light
psychological questionnaire
fill in the blank
which mostly agrees
with the answer to
“are you happy?”
generally, I don’t know
if I go
where my emotions go
are you asking
about chemicals passing
or not
are you asking
about the thoughts
that tend to be controlled
like a robot
by emotions
in most people?
when I’m sad
I’m not really sad
when I’ve been damned
I’m not really damned
put down the #2 pencil
and refuse to finish
this sham
Meyers-Briggs
ENTP
my whole self
has been summed up
in four letters
one could contend
it’s only outline
the details are important
but you ignore
I’m an ENTP
and
could care less about details
I’m a concept person
who can inspire
due to
incredible communication skills
and the ability
to philosophically slice
any giant slab of intimidating meat
into something small
chewable
digestible
this culinary comprehension
of which, I must beware
because due to
introverted thinking indicating
emotional isolation
ENTPs tend to forget
that when skillfully slicing
it is important
that the object they slice
into small
chewable
digestible pieces
isn’t nutritionally empty
or poisonous
limited blocks
one can only say
the same things
so many ways
to live and love
and be above
or below
the TV shows
so many ways
yet limited
by time
yet limited amounts of blocks
can build unlimited structures
structures and/or sculptures
float along
point me in a direction
and I’ll float along
as long as I
don’t sense something’s wrong
sometimes I feel I failed
as a male
I’m just
some words on some paper
packed in an envelope
with no stamps
ENTJ tell me what to do
but don’t judge too quickly
give me time to know
the way to flow
to float upon the waters
of the rivers of life
good hearts
I ponder
and calculate
as you lay
with your dress
haphazardly hanging on
you tell me
“you have a good heart
I know
you think you’re calculating
or whatever
but you have a good heart
directing those calculations
even if it’s more subtle
than any emotion
you have a good heart”
And her skin glows
hand brushing her
cheek, hair, cheek, lips, nose
your reflecting heat warms me
eating chicken noodle soup
Chicken noodle soup
MmmMmm good
I lap up
this blessed bowl
you fill with your
chest
tongue
and lips
every part of you is somehow involved
the cycle continuously
creating something new
from something always existing
existing but simply elsewhere
until now
as I swallow it down
lean back and relax
because I’ve had you
with open gates
and a bridge
to lead over any
moat meant for others
the heat never shall cease
as I lap up
this blessed bowl
tasting like
chicken noodle soup
which you create
with your
chest
tongue
and lips
[insert food]
under the table
her leg extends into my lap
she smiles over the menu
[insert food]
[insert different food]
Two waters too.
Social Psychology books
have taught me two principles
(1) we always want to be right
(2) our behavior, affects, and cognition
is almost always reacting to our environment
conforming
The former principle
made me think about how
when we’re young
we take ideas given to us
and run
and it’s not until
some fiery voice of
accusation and interrogation
makes us check our facts
to answer his questions
interrogations increase internal investigations
walls don’t crumble down
by disproving
but by trying to prove
the beliefs we were given
-- I say this
without need for prompting
unleashing my internal occupation.
discussion
exchange of ideas
[insert food]
[insert food]
Two waters with incessant refills
Then you say something
weighing in your mind
as a result
of nothing anybody said
and what you say
disrupts the flow
and redirects it elsewhere
brush back your hair and smile
and I smile
as the ENTP
I will follow
the ENTJ’s lead
all face, legs, neck, and breasts
she lays in bed
all face, legs, neck, and breasts
thinking about sleeping
eyes shut
breath feels warm on my chest
we got things to do today
there’s movement coming from downstairs
someone’s making breakfast somewhere down there
we lay there with empty stomachs
two natural things make her happy
ingestion and penetration
as I run my hands
up and down her arm
her light skin reflects every color
not one gets hidden
we got things to do today
she opens her eyes
and looks up at me
our eyes connect
and after a few moments
forget I’m looking in her eyes
forget everything
she grins and I grin
we position our lips for a kiss
and we do it