******************
"East Dayton"
Melissa Abbot and I
met on a Sunday night
when I was supposed to be home
told by a "friend" of ours
J-J was ridiculous
anyhow he left
and we get
kissing and hugging
topless and rubbing
never since a nuturing baby
until now
when her little sister wanders
out of the room
in the room she watches television
while we grind and kiss
at some point her sister says this
something about twenty-something guy
that Melissa something something
but don't worry
she's a virgin
(only one blowjob)
so anyway I went home and was yelled at
I told my school she was my girlfriend
in the city I lived in she wasn't
but we made out
a few more times
she would have been
(only two blowjobs)
but that J-J
that J-J was ridiculous
he was in the house
and he was protecting me
you see
he didn't trust Melissa
and some other girl got a friend of his
into trouble saying he did worse than he did
so anyhow
i helped her pack
when she moved to Iowa
going with mother and her boyfriend who would break up a month later
we exchanged a couple letters
until she moved again
******************
"First Girlfriend"
When she and I
were six not even close to seven
people swore we were twins
brown hair
brown eyes
the same exact
cute little smile
we played with Sheldon
and other neighborhood kids
She was my first first-grade girlfriend
and after school
we played and stayed
in the hidden holes of her backyard plastic jungle gym
we kissed
French kissed
I'd learned it from TV or something
and we'd make out every afternoon
only once did her mother suspect anything
I wanted to kiss girls
because my brother told me
I was gay if I didn't
so someday for some reason we broke up
and we
weren't boyfriend and girlfriend anymore
I think it was because I was freaked out
when one day
she wanted
to show me
her private parts
she thought sex was showing your private parts
and I remember running away
when I saw the first sight
of her white panties
tucked underneath her little pink shorts
we were still friends
though
even
though
there was some business where she told her parents
that I
gave her a black eye
but that all got resolved
and the very next fall
when we both were seven
she went to Catholic school and I moved away
******************
"Wiping Sweat on Your Boyfriend's Jeans"
sorta middle seats on a bus back
from nondenominational Christian Middle School camp
we played truth or dare
we were just friends before that
just friends before that
though we both admitted
we liked each other back
I didn't see her for months after I was expelled
for inexcusable sexual misconduct
until I found her number
on the internet or something
and we talked on the phone
for nine hours
the very next day
my brother dropped me at her house
and the two of us
visited her boyfriend who hated my guts
he'd heard about me
and Jenny wasn't a good girl
well she would have been
if her cousin wouldn't been
such a violating creep
and he didn't trust Jeny
I'd heard about her boyfriend
on the 9-hour phone call
he bought her a razor
on her birthday
how considerate of him
and shouldn't have
later that day
when just the two of us bragged about how
we'd done 'bout everything but kiss
and then that kid said
why don't you do it now?
and never mind that other day
when she was sitting between
her boyfriend and me
as we watched TV
Jenny and I held hands
in secret
they disappeared for a bit
and he gave her shit
for her sweaty right hand
which she admitted
to wiping on his jeans
he pushed her around, I suppose
well, I dunno, I guess I was
too immature for her
a virgin
who was self-conscious
whenever her and her friend
would reach out to touch me
most unromantically
and they told me I sucked at kissing
no rhythmic ability
but at least
they were nice enough to teach me
so every subsequent girl
could tell me
how I was such a good kisser
******************
"two fruits"
in the tree
two fruits presented themselves
to me, hungry boy on a summer day
they asked
who do you
think's prettier?
and I took one and dug into its flesh
then tasted the other for a day or less
and I
climbed
down
that
tree
to wander someplace else
I remember water
I remember hills
two sisters, no will
bit one
tasted the other
found a vanilla
swirly little lover
she was blonde
it was wrong
too many grades my younger
then at a dozen and two
I began a few funny flings
getting my fingertips into things
like Molly
and Holly
and Stacey McGee Waller
losing sexual innocence
I never even had
******************
"big small broken strong"
a snake in the grass
a snake in the grass
watch out for that
snake in the grass
slivering
sliding
licking lips
and belly-riding
I've seen him sink his fangs
into things he had no business
big ones
small ones
broken and strong ones
don't lust
if you must
never ever ever trust
that snake in the grass
******************
"Amanda"
There once was a girl
Amanda
her name was
and she liked it when I spoke French to her
No kidding
she did
she really did
most girls I've dated hated it
I don't know why
and she had a friend break up with me
you know, over the telephone
and that about sums it up
a girl I once felt up
first girlfriend not a virgin
when we hooked up
over the telephone
with me speaking French
veux-tu sortir avec moi?
Summer 2005