blue skies make me blue

I was dreaming of today
Shot down by the sun's rays
And trampled on
By pride's parade
Now lay in so much pain
Looking up
blue skies make me blue
and gray ones too
waiting for rain
to freeze me into place
all we need is a cold front
feeling horribly horrible
feel i have no control
memories make me miserable
i'd run home
but home isn't home
only all alone
with my hormones
cruel chemicals
devoid of soul

silence

Any moment of attraction
Interpretted as
evolutionary desperation
one wishes to supress
everyone i miss
is off moving toward bliss
one interprets
as bliss
i hear cosmic sounds and silence
interpret as music
silence is always forgotten
sound is always noticed
in music
but silence is equally important
and deserves the love of life
no sea to suffocate
in silence
one can breathe
in silence

circulation is circular

Circularly circulating
destructive thoughts that demand
engagement encompassing all time
on a focal point
so peripheral vision
doesn't distract and destroy
emotions in motion
spinning around and around
until nausea
twists our stomachs into knots
hearts into rocks
brains into blocks
to be stepped on
and positioned precariously
for someone else
to walk through with ease
however they please
tired of thoughts concentrating
circularly circulating
on destruction
engagement
to keep mind occupied

solitary

Solitary leads to
memories
memories lead to
misery
yet i push
everyone away
by things i say
by things i do
i don't know
who
in the hell
i am
ambiguity with identity
thinking and sinking
slowly into solitary
where i mourn
while merry
with company
but where is those
who want to accompany me

genetic programming

Opinions trigger emotions
and poisons them like potions
molding them a bit
different
emotions point directions
for initial opinions
which have meant something good
so far
in our history
how else did we come to be?
our history
is how we came to be
their programming in us
points directions

to unlicensed doctors

hearing her
calling for cure
to the illness
diagnosed as me
medicinal moaning more more more
to unlicensed doctors
to down
and drown me out

like christ's clay doves

Like Christ's clay doves
breathing into them
your words
animated by mythology
dressed up as biology
barely reading
mostly dreaming
up words you attempt to communicate
read again to reassure realizations
were not creations
and imaginations
believe things will be well
believe things are well
intellectually
yet my imagined memory
and reality memory
compete for space
squeezing out of my face
dreaming and seaming
created fantasies
with disingeniune colors
breathing life
like Christ
into your words

extrovert

in isolation, thoughts
dwindle downward toward desperation
an introvert
not made to be
putting puzzle pieces
where they weren't made to fit
being overly optomistic
about independence
i
need
others
to
exist

next

complexed and perplexed
on to what next
away from where i just went
whatever that place meant
no one is quite certain
from the inside and outside
no one knows what it meant
so there's no acknowledgement
from moment to moment
where i just went
requires rambling repent
from moment to moment
content to be malcontent
about where i just went
whatever that place meant

live listeners

Suddenly and subtely
Eyes sneakingly slide
somewhere
failing in independence
in holding happiness
so desperation
destroys and disintigrates dignity
making much melancholy
one needs live listeners
to testimony
to determine an identity
why is the jury out
what use is my mouth
mumbling 'bout morality
and teaching theology
but no live listeners
no identity
no me

small and the big

the small will tell
about the big
the color of fire
same scale as the stars
blue is the hottest
red not as much
though it's the brightest color
read about supergiant stars
the size of the orbit of jupiter
don't feel small
right now
i'm lost in thought
thinking about how
the closest stars cannot be seen
with the naked eye
the big will tell
about the small
which stars can't i see
what tools do i need
to see these stars
so close to me

most beautiful events

the most beautiful events
will darken the sky
bring out stars during day
as the moon's
silouette slides into splender
and out
it happens enough
but not too much
in our lives
the most beautiful events
so tempting to look at
unprotected
and i was tempted
and i looked
and before my eyes burned blind
'twas terrific times
and then i was blind
stumbling and tumbling and bumbling
and people were hurt
because couldn't see what i was doing
but time has passed
and youth heals fast
and i see again at last

sandy

Sandy didn't know a soul in the whole damn world
she stared at the skies
and not in their eyes
disappeared i don't know why
she was swept away by clouds
and rained onto a plane headed for spain
where a dane would feign pain
and a million dollars less would remain
with the legal system sustained
but i wasn't there
i wasn't anywhere
recognizable
to the human soul
like Sandy's
i went
into the dark
out of the hurt
i was
what you were
prefer
to be her
and concur
every word
but heaven and hell
were fine and well
because i learned some things
that could be of some importance
someday somewhere in the future
and now i dunno
what to do with sandy's soul
a soul who doesn't know a soul
in the whole damn world
subject her to contact
and her eyes might contract
and the impact
will leave nothing intact
and that's a fact
to never forget
so i dunno if Sandy's soul
should be told to know a soul
in the whole goddamn world
starry nights with celestial sights
and clear skies
tell you the universe
you just fail
to really
listen

whatever floats your boat

What went through my head
on that bed where we laid
that earlier i had made
smiling in the shade
i see you
smiling though the lights
are off to the races
we go eyes closed full throat
whatever floats your boat
i know how to do
so i do
and then you do
and you've improved
see the sin in my shins
but endorphins pushed in with pins
and then it flows everywhere
as i'm aware
and it meant i was mad
mad to glad
when i was steering the ship
right into a crash
I've known about
the ways
to float your boat
and heighten your hopes

in with

Serfs slaving away for the lord
they reep what they sow
and that's where proletariat grows
things will evolve
every wall will fall
the king with the iron fist
cannot move his fingers
to untie his royal tennis shoes
they've been tied together
by sneaky ridiculous radicals
empires fall
you suggest they're replaced
by new empires
but we're tired
of fire
we want stoves
and energy
out with the old
in with the new

extinct the elitests

Extinct the elitests
who dismiss those
like they don't exist
Christ did not do this
that's why he knew bliss
everyone
can teach you
something
all you have to do is
look
open your eyes
ears
listen to the lesson
learn something

enough is enough

No perceptions
nor interpretations
no twisting
into some self-righteousness
this is failure
a lesson to learn
leading to missions
to not fail again
maybe you'll come around
maybe not
but regardless
the lesson's been learned
musn't let me mess up
something so terribly again
would apologize
but your ears and
head hurt from hearing
too much
enough is enough

step

Did a tapdance
Did you see it?
Did I deceive you?
Able to sneak in a tap
Sneak it subtle enough?
If you see me tap my shoes
Step on it
Scream and shout
Knock my mouth out
Don't let me try to be a show
Need to be a human being
Not a tapdancin' show

i see i see

epiphanies precede apologies
for the me me used to be
was startin' to see
the magic in reality
but the magic seemed to bleed
far into fantasy
with creatures of night
playing make-believe
biting with these teeth
sucking out sympathy
until you said the end
end of story
back to reality
where i see i see i see
you're free if without me

my prose self

My prose self
cares and loves different
than
my oral self
cares and loves different
than
my thinking self
cares and loves different
than
my poetic self
cares and loves different
than
my mystical self
cares and loves different
than
my prose self

soaked

raining hard
soaked
knowing it's raining
isn't gonna make me any drier
but i'm indoors
soaked
clothes hung up
slowly evaporating
will wear new clothes
but those
soaked
clothes will be dry
someday

mister blue

MISTER blue
glow on your face
what's the occassion
who painted you
mister blue
aura around you
dancing upon your skin
upon your black hair
the earth
you step on
is all that's not blue
why is this true
when will it be through
mister blue
why let the world pain your world
blue mister blue mister
johnson says no pill
all psychological
prescription not possible
prescribes that your life
must look like
the white
which blocks
the blue skies
SO HE WANTS me to
evaporate and condensate
into white clouds
floating around
flying around
until they're rained down
MISTER blue will you listen
to you?

[insert title here]

feel as if everyone feels
depressed
dependency
interconnectedness
depressed
lacking somethingness
the more you love
the more you hurt
the human condition
consciousness' curse
awareness of awfulness
of chances missed
i feel so lonely
you don't save me
i don't save me
reinvent myself
over and over again
keeping my mind occupied
with a new life
and perspective
and interpretation
i dunno why i
feel as if everyone feels
depressed

like jesus

Tried to touch
and tranquilize
your anxiety
like jesus
i dunno
who the fuck i think i am
sometimes
sit in my room
stare at my walls
walls which conquer me
convience
our imperfect experiments
convience conquers us
into submission
out of sight of truth
tried to touch
and tranquilize
your anxiety
like jesus
but i only killed you

concrete teeth

everything is memory
electricity firing
rapidly and randomly
so fast it's out of control
speeding past my soul
to the unknown
count to ten and concentrate
trying to wait
to see something great
these days seem like mere
wandering around
up and down town
staring at the ground
concrete teeth eating me
asking me for money
telling me what to be
ink on dead trees
got me like a disease
leaving me so lonely
concentrate and count to ten
do it over again
over and over again
when will it end?
will it ever end?

center of the world

i see a submarine
sinking into the sea
slowly
ever so slowly
down down
to the center of the world
oh yes
there is
parts of the pacific so deep
in tranquility
cold numbness
despite what lab mice say
the center of the world
is not fire
swim so far down
you will feel the cold
paralyzing your body

asking for alzheimer's

siting around the television
asking for Alzheimer's
who wants to recognize faces
that haunt you in your dreams
that you don't want to have
anyway
the television is off
books are open
increasing electricity
thinking thinking thinking
reinventing myself
over and over again
opening previously locked doors
to find a hallway of new locked doors
choosing by chance
which to try to unlock
when to give up and try other doors
when to give up on the entire hallway
we only have so much time
to go somewhere
sitting around the off television
avoiding Alzheimer's
even if increasing electricity
means tackling new complexities
and having to recognize
the faces you left behind
or ones who locked a door
behind you
prohibiting return
maybe those doors and hallways
weren't for me
maybe somewhere else
but where?
somewhere somehow someway
for some reason

tossed in trashcans

we're all so disposable
tossed in trashcans
over and over again
we pull ourselves out
or are pulled out
or buried underneath garbage
i feel like garbage
you are what you eat
and i've given plenty of treats
treating you that way
someone should take me away
to the dump
where i can be cremated
with the rest of the
disposable garbage

who

one year
twelve months
fifty-two weeks
three-hundred sixty-five days
thank god
it's passed and in the past
though reprecussions
leave me feeling reprehensible
i was responsible
who in the hell did i think i was?
a prophet
who in the hell do i think i was?
a madman
logic lacking knowledge
happy trying to enlighten
by lying
badly blind
and now i dunno
if i'm happy with who i am
whoever the hell that is

lucien's love

lucien's love lingered long
after she was long, long gone
but he did not despair
for he was aware
the love you give forever lives
what you don't forever dies
she can reject him
and his gift of love
but she cannot destroy
you or it
it still exists and can keep
your heart warm
if you hold it right

the conclusion

undressing dressed up drama queens
behind tinted screens
smooth silouette sliding
against one another
most everything seems beautiful
before the conclusion
but after the conclusion
what your subconscious said
and continues to say
will actually be listened to
subconscious screetching and screaming
to stop
killing myself
these chemicals are not what i want
temporary endorphins
will not
lead to enlightenment
but it's so hard
to listen
before
the conclusion

breathing into each other's faces

caught some virus
from foreign lands
came back to America
to Ohio
and breathed in other people's
faces facing forward to the future
sickness overcame us all
i worked so hard toward good
health disintigrated when you breathed on me
we'd cure, the other would still be sick
illness passed back and forth
whoever had a 12-month cold?
we should seperate
rather than getting each other
sick again over and over again
let's just hope
you do not breathe in someone's face
who is suceptible
to this sickness you still suffer from

pinpointing particular planets

pinpointing particular planets
spinning them
however i desire
noticing their allignment intervention
however i desire
i will think of something
at some point today
think of someone
make a big financial decision
meet someone new
and not find favor
in them
in two seconds
and dismiss them
they're talking about free will then
hoping someone's meant for them
Titan is a moon
which orbits the ringed Saturn
the king
ordering me around all my life
telling me what to think
who to think of
when to change careers
i feel so helpless
yet so in control
maybe i am in control
and wish to be helpless
avoiding any responsibilities
hitting the deck
before enemy ever thinks of firing
i don't even know what
am i talking about
anymore

people will laugh

spontaneous generation
maggots from meat
science will be outtrumped
one day
by a new method
of inquiry
and people will laugh
at formulas of past

act act act

Hate when feelings and actions
don't collide
miss by a mile
how can you believe
one without the other
emotions don't guide actions
actions guide emotions but
fail
miserably
though logic wants otherwise
well one must be right
and the other wrong
more right or more wrong
but who do i believe in?
who can i ever believe in?
maybe i should not be concerned
maybe thee
human condition
feelings will always feel
while actions act
act act
act

revolutions

Thoughts in my head
tangle tightly tonight
bringing forth new manifestations
of thought bringing forth
more to bring forth more
until completely divorced
from antiquity
from truth
from nature
images
are always perverted
by the time they reach the mind
emotions chopped fine when defined
ask any blind person
who suddenly had sight
so traumatizing
so confusing
revolutions are rarely not bloody
rarely without fire
forgiveness always desired
afterward
by the fallen
I think you understand
I think you understand

chamelons

chameleons adapts to any situation
that suits them
in tuxedos and shoes
they want to be in
every situation
requires a new skin
but what skin
do you want to be in?

egg

sex and sin
the breast the milk comes in
she's got to lay the eggs
for the other to get in
to become one
she's got to lay the egg

frozen ocean surface

There's ice on the surface of the ocean
there's life beneath that ice
somewhere
down below
schools swim slowly
devoid of sunlight
but the life knows what to do
how to proceed
in the darkness
seasons change
and the ice will melt
and the ocean will be
warm enough
to swim in

glass slipper

to the glass slipper
who never saw the dark face
of a hobo
leaning his back against the glass
asking what he always asks
to the glass slipper
that disappears at midnight
why won't you give
what you give is yours forever
while the glass slipper
disappears at midnight

underwater submersion

submerged facefirst underwater
heart beats increase
straining lung capacity
no ability
to breathe
regularly
you don't know
don't want to know
what where who when how why
i am alive
though sometimes i
feel this is a lie
name equated to pain
how would you feel today
if your name was equated to pain?
the weight on your plate
when you prepare to wait
for someone to figure out your fate
as it concerns them
deteriating neck muscles
as I'm
submerged facefirst unerwater
neck no longer strong enough
feel as i can't surface
under my own power
i sense unconsciousness
upcoming nothingness
but you don't know
don't want to know

like a missile

you miss me
like a missile mistakenly off-target
collapsing and killing
a house and its eight inhabitants
this is not desired
to miss
is not desired
wouldn't miss if you could help it
maybe with more experience
you wouldn't miss
so much

to university

continuously casually
crossing my mind
as i cross the street
to university
where books will fill my head
try to remember so much
so often
that i cannot remember
how to forget

content to

i'm content to sit around
and think about
how i'm malcontent
and upset
and depressed
and i confess
no idea how i feel
at any point in time
i could be happy if i wanted
maybe i'm just being difficult
for no particular reason
maybe i am happy
with being content
to sit around and think about
how i'm malcontent
time passes by
and i'm left to stay
in the past

believe and breathe

the world's wonderful wings whip with the wind
and i gaily glide
across the sky
there's a message
lingering near the clouds
over to the East
a message
i believe and breathe
beacuse it brings so much
beauty

tonight

tonight it feels right
to swallow you
for once
instead of letting you linger
for so long on my tongue
taste mixing with everything i eat
i drink you down
with a bottle of crown
several glasses of wine
in an insignificant amount of time
and i'm fine
i'll either swallow you
or purge you into someone's side lawn
to be left and forgotten
clumped atop of blades of grass
either way
this night is the one
where you cease
to linger on my tongue
mixing with everything i eat

barren

barren bedroom barely breathing
bare bedroom matress
pressed sideway against the wall
smelling vile
how the smell sickens me
i cannot sleep there
laying on the mattress
everything smells vile
the atoms disipating into my nose
and clinging to the walls
clothes scattered on the
dirty
hardwood
floor and five and six minutes
and i have to leave

pop musical sensation

Popular musical sensation singing sweetly
and being angry
about rejection
or being wronged
like a martyr
or they proclaim
their ego
they were right!
vindicated!
i've read too many
poems portraying a voice
an infallible voice verbalizing
the perfection of the person
telling the story
but again
who wants to read
sad, guilt, upset, malcontent
well maybe someone ordinary
who wants to connect with an
ordinary person
who does not profess perfection
this poem burns in cynicism
in narcisicism
as the voice
of the poem
preaches proudly
about words

smiling face

been greatly graced
by a smiling face
a smiling face
smiling so happily
christ said be as child
laughter at simple
things
laugh at everything
i need to be comprehending
better than i already do
i'm trying to smile
and laugh more
like the smiling face
who has greatly graced
my prescence
with her smiling face

heaven is cold

send us so far south
to the south pole
dropping us to the
bottom of the world
oh but what do they know
haven't they heard hell is hot
so what is heaven not
hot
hell is hot heaven is not
heaven is cold
and i'm cold
and you're cold
but coldness is not bad
they just don't understand
coldness is heaven
we are cold
in the south pole
the bottom of the world

high-five

two particularly purple puppies peak
down at me
from their place on the wall
invisible tape and sticky stuff
and surrounded
in the garden of eden
with beasts
and others
canine, rabbit, bear
another gone i know not where
it's nice to be in this life
high-five to the one
who thought this thing up

exile

my poet self
has been poisoning
the rest of my self
with its polluted propoganda
bringing me blues
and empty shoes
to walk in
the direction of a cliff
to tumble and fall
on rocks below
oh i won't be fooled again
your influence ends
you are in exile
able to exist
but lacking any impact
until you are freed

tongue-tied

A girl said something stupid
yesterday and i told her that
she said something stupid
and she hasn't said
something stupid since
so i feel justified
that she's tongue-tied
most people don't say stupid stuff
at least i think
but i probably
don't talk
to enough people to know

sleeping behind haystacks

two peasants sleeping behind
a haystack stacked so high
they sleep for quite
some time
later they will wake and work
when they feel
and i feel
one should ask the question
why don't we all live on farms
living on the food we grow
on our own
maybe pretty pictures
pervert my perception
i've always been a
city dweller fellow
smoking tea and being mellow
and i've come to realize
see so few faces everyday
might as well move south anyway
fewer folks
warmer weather
the hospitality
hanging in the air there
i should sleep behind the hay
waking when i may
night or day
do pray
for serenity is
on its way

cup of coffee

holding a cup of coffee
the man holds his pipe
with his other hand
while a hat covers his head
topped by hair rainbow red
you heard what i said
rainbow red really
rejuvenates the soul
with its brightness
demanding the focus of everything
stupid frequency
waving waves wiggling around
the world owned by carbon,
nitrogen, hydrogen, and oxygen
human apes
don't forget who's really in charge
the man
holding a cup of coffee
holds his pipe
with the other hand
while a hat covers his head
topped by hair rainbow red
he knew about this
long ago
he learned about this
and he stands
drinking coffee
smoking his pipe
looking at the reflection
of wavelengths

cannonized saints