dear *you* with your perfect smile and long eyelashes...

how is it that you're so perfect and i fail in comparison? i have never felt so inadequate in my life. i know i'm not good enough to exist in your graces, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to. why can't you just look me in the eye and tell me i am no good. that i'm scum. that you wouldn't even let me lick your raspberry coloured high top? maybe then this torment would be a little easier to swallow. but instead my shortcoming are stuck in my throat like a flintstones vitamin i didn't chew. somedays you make me feel like i'm on top of the world, and other's it's like im losing my grip hanging from the bottom pole. you do nothing and everything all at the same time. sometimes i feel that rejection would feel better than waiting, wondering, hoping that i might be good enough for a passing glance. but it's impossible for you, this amazingly beautiful boy, to see the anquish you cause me when you say and do nothing. sometimes they say less is best, but i could use an overdose right about now. i find myself doubting my worth over you. extraordinary you. perfect and charming you. it's a feeling i've never felt before. i've never felt like anything less than a princess. you've knocked my ass of my pedastal and now i'm groveling at the base of yours, hoping to catch a glimpse of your beauty and experience a mere second of your love. there are times i feel that if i did get the chance to be the apple of your eye, you would bite into a worm, or i might be so overwhelmed i would explode into applesauce. maybe this is why i adore you so. you bring out the naivety, the inexperience, the butterflies in my much experienced heart. you make me giddy. you kill me softly. you bring me to life. you make me hopeful. you make me afraid. you make me crush. you crush me.

xo.
me

ps -- your's is the only picture i kiss goodnight...

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