Not back.../May 22, 2003/4:00 PM
Well, been doing a very little writing over here.
Heyyy.../November 26, 2002/11:52 AM
I've added new members to my other site so go HERE!!!
Make it last.../November 20, 2002/12:58 PM
My other site is here!!! (Post from My So-Called Reality:)So I had a helluva time trying to reinstall KaZaA and MSN Messenger. I gave up. Then I was using a music program called XoloX, and it went to hell. Now I've got Win MX. It seems to work decently, especially if I let it run its course overnight. You know what really sucks? Psycho ex boyfriends. I seem to have plenty of them in my life. Now, don't get me wrong--some are better than others. Er... less annoying, that is. One of my exs hacked into my Yahoo profile and wrote "I AM JESSE'S BITCH" all over the place. (That was kinda' cute, though.) Another is hacking into Jesse's damn e-mail account and trying to destroy our lives or something. Damn crazy fools. Jesse's car is almost done. Yea!!!
Dir-taaaay.../November 20, 2002/12:43 AM
Went to Topeka, Kansas. It was a blast! We went to a sushi bar and all that. Oh, and Chili's is great, but it cost $60 for three of us to eat there. My cousin moved back to Wood Town from Lawerence, Kansas. She and I have been going to Grand Island every day. It's entertaining, but I don't think I can handle it every single day. Jesse and I went to the tattoo place today. He might get a tattoo tomorrow (today). Not sure. And I want to move to Lincoln or Omaha or something. With Jesse, ofcourse. I'll get a great-paying job... Things will be good. I hope, I hope. Going back to Kansas after Thanksgiving. Possibly two more times. Agh, such a drive. But I get to take Jesse this time. Yea!!! Hum... I got this new site. Click here. It's easy to post, but I'm just not comfortable with it yet. (A.K.A. Don't stop reading this site until I tell you I'm through with it!) Welllllp, time to get some rest. I hope. See you when I get there.
Fluffy bunnies.../November 8, 2002/9:26 PM
Ok, I'm over my whole hair deal. It's not that bad when it's dry. Heh. I took a few more pictures. Haven't uploaded them to here, but they are in my Yahoo Briefcase. Click *here* and then click on the album called "My Pics." (You can't get into the other album! Hahahaha!) Oh, I'm evil. I know. So I'm going to Kansas on Monday morning. I should be back, like, Wednesday or so. Going to see my cousins and do some shopping in Topeka. Yea! But, yeah. Not sure if Jesse is going with me or not. I'm kind of nervous talking to my mom about this sort of thing. I was talking to a friend of mine from Kearney last night on here. He confided in me that he does a little writing himself, and he let me read some of his stuff. It was pretty dark and all, but understandably so. He had a girl really wreck his heart, from what I could gather. But he inspired me to write again. So I added a new poem at the bottom of my Writings page. Go here. Ka-powee. And don't tell me what you think, because it's too difficult to write about someone you're not looking at! Better get Maaco.
Try again.../November 7, 2002/11:34 PM
I had this idea that if I highlighted my hair dark brown over the orange, I would be left with the blonde tips. Well, BUMP THAT. My hair looks like a bad Halloween prank. It's mostly black in the front, and the orange is showing through! There is no more blonde. Goodness. I just need to bleach it all and start over. Why are humans inclined to "fix" their appearance? Shut up. I'm not answering my own questions here.
Tattoo You.../November 5, 2002/9:02 PM
My computer is on the verge of death. I dyed my hair. It's uh... orange. Atleast I'm not boring anymore. Right. So my friend Miranda and I took a trip up to Kearney the other night to our friend Jack's frat house. (Tappa Kappa Kegga O'Mega.) It was different than I thought. People there are really smart. Plus, we got to harass the Pledges. I can't wait to go back. Jesse and I had this huge (er...) fight or something. Today and yesterday were great. I'm finding myself dancing more around the house when I'm alone. Mom and I are going to Kansas next week. I think I might see if Jesse will go with. It's going to be a major shopping experience. Swooshy. I'm dancing again. On my bed. I need to go now.
It's murda'.../November 2, 2002/3:59 PM
People call my cell phone from "Unavailable" numbers. They don't realize that my phone doesn't (always) get service where I live. So all I hear is me saying, "Hello?" Then the guy on the other end says "Hello" about three times and my phone dies. Oh well. Must not be that important. Only thing is, all my cool friends live out of town... Which makes me wonder. Frick. I have to go to a dinner now... for my cousin. Yep.
Southwest Texas.../November 2, 2002/12:29 AM
My cursor, ok? It's blinking, like, 100 times a second. It feels like my head pounding. I'm fucking mad and crazy jealous. I can't ever see myself falling in love again. I'm watching this guy on TV talking about how he loves this one girl, even though all these other girls are around him. And I think... if I could just have one real guy like that... one genuine person to love me that I could love back, I would be happy. And I'm still watching this guy on TV... He's in a hot tub with some hoe (not the girl he loves)... and I realize that I'm never going to find someone like that again. I was lucky, ok? I found someone, we fell in love, but now it's over. And I can't go back. And I want to fucking die. But yeah, I'm only updating because there is atleast one person still reading this. I don't know what he gets out of it. I don't say anything besides my personal shit. But I updated. So be happy.
Things around the table are kinda' rough.../October 12, 2002/3:55 PM
$2000 (o.b.o.) takes my car and I get a Grand Prix! Yeaaaa! *Muh!* Daddy picked up an Aurora today (Nissan 300ZX style "azure blue" color). All I have to say is: "owywowyzowy." It is pimp. All leather, lumbar-adjusting heated seats, and both of the people in the front control the temperature for their side of the car. Ah, the boss lady called yesterday. I was in getting my hair cut into a nice "shag," as they say. Couldn't get to the phone. Have to call her back. I'm not sure if I want to bartend and yada, yada, or see if I can get into this other program where I would work with mentally disabled people in their homes. I don't know if I can take the stress of bartending. Old drunk guys hitting on me and all that. Err... And so on. It's Saturday. I NEED A DRINK. Kool-aide, ofcourse. We went to Red Dragon last night. I made a mistake. I thought it was the sequel to Hannibal, which it technically is, but it's really the prequel to The Silence of the Lambs. The ending is a blast. The movie itself left a little to desire. Not as much plotting as the other two movies in the series.
I'd rather see the world from another angle.../October 9, 2002/11:34 PM
We are everyday angels. I started my exercise program today. W00t. I felt almost alive for once after I got back from jogging for 30 minutes. I didn't take a seven-hour "nap" like I usually do. Anyhow, my mom and I are going to motivate each other's ass off the couch and into the basement, where we have a little gym set up. (To add to it, we're buying a BowFlex machine...) It's great. So I was thinking, and I need more abs. I need, like, wash-your-dirtiest-clothes-on-me abs. Something... My neighbor (who is into sports nutrition in college) gives me this guide: 45 Days To Killer Abs. It has different things to do each day and so on. I'm supposed to run, walk, jog, or ride a bike for 30-45 minutes three days a week, but I think I can manage to do that every day of the week. Atleast until I'm too worn out from work. (Hey, my boss is calling me tomorrow to tell me when we start the renovation process...) Needless to say, I think it will be more useful to me if I journal about my workouts, too. Yeah. Hmmm... What can I say about Jesse today? I usually have a lot to say about him, but I got caught up in ironing my dad's work clothes, so we only spent about an hour or two together today. Um... the whole exercise thing made me happy, so I didn't fight with him at all today. Everything between us was just really calm and peaceful. Yessss... Ah, he did mention that he wanted to see the new Star Wars movies. I've seen Episode 1, but not the newest one. And I want desperately to go see Red Dragon, the sequel to Hannibal! That's about it.
I am colorblind.../October 8, 2002/12:02 PM
Wow. I've been working on my site for two hours now. Agh. I read through all of my old posts and came to a conclusion: maybe I'm not that confused anymore! Conclusion number two is that, if you stare at my page for two hours, the background turns from lime green to lemon yellow. Good times.
So this is Christmas.../October 8, 2002/10:07 PM
Hrm... Well, Jesse got a haircut today. He's totally self-conscious about it--I can tell. It doesn't look bad, it's just sooo incredibly different. I think I go through that, too. Whenever I get a new haircut, it never looks bad, I'm just unsure about it. It takes time to adjust. Annnnyway, the job scene is great. Full of opportunities. And bad timing. There's a new bar/restaurant opening soon, so I went in and filled out an application. The boss lady says she wants me to be a bartender. Well, w00t or not? Now I might drink sometimes, but I have no clue about how to mix and shake things! Anyhow, the she's calling me in two days to tell me when we need to start with training and such. Next there's a great-paying job ($9.50-$13.50/hour) that I would only have to work 25 hours a week at. Only catch is that they won't say who's hired for another week! So I'm going to try to work both of these jobs and figure out which one I can manage better. And I still want to move out, still need a new car, etc. The only good news I can bring today is: Jesse said I have "pretty eyes." (Sigh...) I need to get a counter or something. Agh.
In Loving Memory.../September 21, 2002/2:09 PM
Well Logan, Dude, look what you've done,
At least while you were around, you had lots of fun.
You left us now and we will miss you,
But if you look back, you'll still see your crew
When you look back from your place in the sky
Don't be surprised at how many will cry,
Logan, Dude, we loved you so,
It tore us up to have to let you go,
You always were a little stingy,
But that's ok, you can keep the twenty bucks you owe me.
Logan, bud, Bush is going to have to find
Someone else to drive him out of his mind,
But Logan, in my heart I know,
That though you're gone, you'll never go,
And if I look hard, I'll always see,
That a piece of you will live on in me,
Logan, though you are now gone,
In our hearts you will always live on.
Matthew Scott Sorensen
My sunshine on a cloudy day.../September 21, 2002/2:00 PM
I have a hangover. I want to die. I wish people would look out for other people when they're drinking. Most of us don't have any damn self-control, or we do... we just don't know when it's time to quit. Yikes. So I'm making chicken and such... Jesse is on his way over... He had to make a stop to sell one of his (many) amps somewhere in GI. I realized something last night. I really,really like him. He's a great guy. No... He's a great person. There are only two people in the whole world that I can talk to and relate to, and he's one of them. Plus, he's super smart. If he doesn't know something, he has the capacity to want to know. He's not lazy, and he's devoted. He's the same (changing) person every day. He reminds me of myself, and our habits (good and bad) are rubbing off onto each other. I feel like I can tell him anything, and I want him to feel the same about me. Just being honest. I've never really clicked with anyone like I did/do with him. It's crazy, but I'd be happier watching him sleep for 24 hours, than to not see him. Hmm...
It's from me to you--me to you.../September 3, 2002/8:49 PM
I'm in New Jersey. A friend of mine's dad paid for a bunch of us to fly down here for this HUGE car show! We left the airport at like, 2 AM this morning. Our hotel is in Princeton, which is a short drive from Englishtown (where all the cars are). All our rooms are sooo great! My bathtub has a TV built into the wall above it! My shower is like, a glass box. The mirrors are HUGE. The bed is like a dream. I'm not used to being treated like this! We've already seen so many amazing cars, I can't even describe! Hell, I didn't even know what most of them were! Oh well. We got to see the Fast and Furious Eclipse and Supra. I've seen hundreds of pink cars (my favorite). One had a graphic of the Powerpuff Girls on the side! It was totally cute. Before I left, Jesse told me to look for cars that were yellow or lime green. Guess what we found?! A neon yellow 1991 240SX. (His car!) Luckily my friend pointed it out, or I would've missed it. (Don't ask!) I am so overwhelmed by everything. I could talk about it forever. I can't wait to get back and tell Jesse! My friends and I are taking pictures of everything! (All of them are getting saved to his laptop!) I will be saving car pictures to my page when I get back... eventually! My friend's car is getting alot of attention. It is so weird to have people snapping pictures of us everywhere we go! (But it's also very cool!) I feel like someone important or famous or something... We're off to this indoor rave/car show around midnight. I think I will see if anyone's phone is working so I can call my sweetie! I'm so happy right now! GTG!
The Lady of Shalott.../September 1, 2002/1:04 AM
On either side the river lie
Long fields of barley and of rye,
That clothe the wold and meet the sky;
And through the field the road run by
To many-tower'd Camelot;
And up and down the people go,
Gazing where the lilies blow
Round an island there below,
The island of Shalott.
Willows whiten, aspens quiver,
Little breezes dusk and shiver
Through the wave that runs for ever
By the island in the river
Flowing down to Camelot.
Four grey walls, and four grey towers,
Overlook a space of flowers,
And the silent isle imbowers
The Lady of Shalott.
By the margin, willow veil'd,
Slide the heavy barges trail'd
By slow horses; and unhail'd
The shallop flitteth silken-sail'd
Skimming down to Camelot:
But who hath seen her wave her hand?
Or at the casement seen her stand?
Or is she known in all the land,
The Lady of Shalott?
Only reapers, reaping early,
In among the bearded barley
Hear a song that echoes cheerly
From the river winding clearly;
Down to tower'd Camelot;
And by the moon the reaper weary,
Piling sheaves in uplands airy,
Listening, whispers, " 'Tis the fairy
The Lady of Shalott."
There she weaves by night and day
A magic web with colours gay.
She has heard a whisper say,
A curse is on her if she stay
To look down to Camelot.
She knows not what the curse may be,
And so she weaveth steadily,
And little other care hath she,
The Lady of Shalott.
And moving through a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot;
There the river eddy whirls,
And there the surly village churls,
And the red cloaks of market girls
Pass onward from Shalott.
Sometimes a troop of damsels glad,
An abbot on an ambling pad,
Sometimes a curly shepherd lad,
Or long-hair'd page in crimson clad
Goes by to tower'd Camelot;
And sometimes through the mirror blue
The knights come riding two and two.
She hath no loyal Knight and true,
The Lady of Shalott.
But in her web she still delights
To weave the mirror's magic sights,
For often through the silent nights
A funeral, with plumes and lights
And music, went to Camelot;
Or when the Moon was overhead,
Came two young lovers lately wed.
"I am half sick of shadows," said
The Lady of Shalott.
A bow-shot from her bower-eaves,
He rode between the barley sheaves,
The sun came dazzling thro' the leaves,
And flamed upon the brazen greaves
Of bold Sir Lancelot.
A red-cross knight for ever kneel'd
To a lady in his shield,
That sparkled on the yellow field,
Beside remote Shalott.
The gemmy bridle glitter'd free,
Like to some branch of stars we see
Hung in the golden Galaxy.
The bridle bells rang merrily
As he rode down to Camelot:
And from his blazon'd baldric slung
A mighty silver bugle hung,
And as he rode his armor rung
Beside remote Shalott.
All in the blue unclouded weather
Thick-jewell'd shone the saddle-leather,
The helmet and the helmet-feather
Burn'd like one burning flame together,
As he rode down to Camelot.
As often thro' the purple night,
Below the starry clusters bright,
Some bearded meteor, burning bright,
Moves over still Shalott.
His broad clear brow in sunlight glow'd;
On burnish'd hooves his war-horse trode;
From underneath his helmet flow'd
His coal-black curls as on he rode,
As he rode down to Camelot.
From the bank and from the river
He flashed into the crystal mirror,
"Tirra lirra," by the river
Sang Sir Lancelot.
She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott.
In the stormy east-wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
The broad stream in his banks complaining.
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower'd Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And around about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott.
And down the river's dim expanse
Like some bold seer in a trance,
Seeing all his own mischance --
With a glassy countenance
Did she look to Camelot.
And at the closing of the day
She loosed the chain, and down she lay;
The broad stream bore her far away,
The Lady of Shalott.
Lying, robed in snowy white
That loosely flew to left and right --
The leaves upon her falling light --
Thro' the noises of the night,
She floated down to Camelot:
And as the boat-head wound along
The willowy hills and fields among,
They heard her singing her last song,
The Lady of Shalott.
Heard a carol, mournful, holy,
Chanted loudly, chanted lowly,
Till her blood was frozen slowly,
And her eyes were darkened wholly,
Turn'd to tower'd Camelot.
For ere she reach'd upon the tide
The first house by the water-side,
Singing in her song she died,
The Lady of Shalott.
Under tower and balcony,
By garden-wall and gallery,
A gleaming shape she floated by,
Dead-pale between the houses high,
Silent into Camelot.
Out upon the wharfs they came,
Knight and Burgher, Lord and Dame,
And around the prow they read her name,
The Lady of Shalott.
Who is this? And what is here?
And in the lighted palace near
Died the sound of royal cheer;
And they crossed themselves for fear,
All the Knights at Camelot;
But Lancelot mused a little space
He said, "She has a lovely face;
God in his mercy lend her grace,
The Lady of Shalott."
To work is to maintain; to live is to strive.../August 27, 2002/10:29 PM
What's been going on that I can tell you about? Ah, I got paid. So I went out and got the new Motorola voice-activated cell phone with a nifty cover that changes from blue to green. My job is history, I think. I remembered that my goal in life is to become a writer, and anything that interferes with my goal can't be a part of my life. I might start a new story on my "Writings" page. If you see it changing every day, you'll feel my pain. Ahaha.
Say "I'm sorry" sometimes.../August 13, 2002/11:21 PM
Below is a song that describes my day with Jesse today. Everything was perfect... like it should've been for the past three months or so. We went from my house to his house, then to the pet store. We found this incredibly amazing fish that like, walks on its fins... It's $36... Jesse decided that he wants a chinchilla. They are sooo cute! *Muh!* After the pet store we went to Gordman's (clothing store) and bought some clothes. Jesse got seven shirts (that I helped pick out) and a pair of really cool khaki pants that feel silky. Anyway, the shirts are like totally nice (plaid and polos and rugbys). He has really good taste, and I love the fact that he's a guy that doesn't mind shopping! I can't wait until I get my check, so he can come with me and tell me what looks good. (Smile...) Yeah, my work week starts tomorrow. Yikes. I have two days off in the next two weeks. Nice 12-hour shifts on Saturdays. I want to kill my boss for the fucking schedule of hell I'm going through. It turns out, one of my best friends is back in GI... She works with one of my other friends, and none of us have seen each other in years! Reunion... Fun!!! Oh, I figured out how my vocabulary works. Jesse and I were talking, and he said he feels "incompetent" if he can't do something correctly. My vocab went into "drive mode..." So I said, "You mean, 'inferior.'" Later that night, on my way home, I finally hit "overdrive mode" and realized the word he was looking for... "inadequate."
Today is.../August 13, 2002/11:09 PM
Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't live for tomorrow,
Tomorrow's much too long
I'll burn my eyes out
Before I get out
I wanted more
Than life could ever grant me
Bored by the chore
Of saving face
Today is the greatest
Day I've ever known
Can't wait for tomorrow
I might not have that long
I'll tear my heart out
Before I get out
Pink ribbon scars
That never forget
I tried so hard
To cleanse these regrets
My angel wings
Were bruised and restrained
My belly stings
Today is
Today is
Today is
The greatest day
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you on
I want to turn you
Today is the greatest
Today is the greatest day
Today is the greatest day
That I have ever really known
Isn't fighting for peace like screwing for virginity?.../August 13, 2002/1:01 PM
I'm in the process of dying my hair again. It's kind of ironic... I told Jesse that, with his hair bleach blond, he doesn't look like my Jesse... He looks like an imitation brand or something. So here I am, with 20 minutes more to go before my hair is "dark ash blond." (Right now it's supposedly "dark ash brown." Who understands these things, anyway?! I have to work tomorrow night. I hope my friend can start work A.S.A.P. I only have like, two days off in the next two weeks. Jesse and I are going to the car show on Sunday. Yea! Tonight I htink we are finally going to go look at kittens, but I really need to talk to him first. One of my ex-boyfriends found some disturbing pictures on the internet, and the guy in them REALLY looks like my Jesse. So... I need to talk to him about it before this goes any further. And... I think I'm slowly converting back to the old me. I just don't want to admit it. I keep having these thoughts. Sometimes I go back to thinking, "Wouldn't it be nice to get drunk every night again and waste my whole life? Wouldn't it be cool not to worry about what anyone else thinks?" So if Jesse ever leaves me, or just leaves... that's where I'm at. I guess I'm kind of counting on him/leaning on him right now. I know he cares, even though he tells me things that my dad does... like, "You need to work." Yada, yada... I know all this, I'm just unmotivated until someone moves me. (This could require throwing me...) Agh. Oops! 7th Heaven is on. Gotta' go... Hehe.
This is how you remind me.../August 12, 2002/12:56 AM
Jesse and I had a huge fight. We aren't seeing eye-to-eye on anything anymore. I'm not sure if we ever have. I think he liked me because I liked cars, not because I liked him. Who knows? Anyhow, I'm having this surge of independence right now, which is horrifically scary. It's like, I know if things get any worse, I'll turn back into the old me. (The me that doesn't give a fuck about anything, or anyone.) I don't want that. I can't believe I changed so much for someone. I like the way I am now, but the fact is... I can't stay this way by myself. I'll go crazy. And I need him, and I love him, but he has to make the change halfway... or it can never work. (This is stressful.) My work schedule got switched around a whole lot. I work (supposedly only) every other weekend, and then Wednesday and Thursday. My boss hired one of my good friends. Yea! Hopefully she'll be dependable. I didn't go see kitties yesterday... I was so upset about my schedule that Jesse and I just came home after I got off work. I got through about 10 minutes of a movie, and then I went to sleep. I guess I just wasn't that into it. Jesse and I went with my parents to get groceries today. Yeah...
Stop the violence.../August 10, 2002/11:12 AM
Hrm. Shawn, you can't buy a new car, ok?!? No. People are fucking crazy, you know that? How can you expect to pay $500 rent a month, utilities, etc., and BUY A NEW CAR?!? Pish. I didn't go to Kearney this weekend, and I don't plan on it. Turns out my brother is working like, 80 hours a week until they can get another Manager that knows his head from his ass. Aghrgrrr... And in other shit... went to Reuben's last night and yeah. They got a dog? I didn't know they had a dog! Shit. All of my friends are nutty bastards. Hmm. People who lie should be shot. Yeah. Dirty people should be shot. And pretty much everyone else should atleast be punished for one reason or another. Life is goooood. Agh. Don't know what my plans are for tonight, but I have to work from 4-9 PM for this girl who has a wedding to go to. I wish I didn't have to, but it's only five hours. I NEED MONEY. (Especially since my first paycheck went entirely to paying my cell phone bill... Well, all but $33.66.) People are scandalous. But yeah, I'm going to go look at kitties eventually, so I need to get off my dead ass. *Muh.*
Ice sk8in'.../August 9, 2002/2:51 PM
Here's my dream from last night: Jesse, John, and I went to this ice skating thing. For some reason, I thought Jesse was hitting on this girl (or something) so I got mad and found this guy from school to skate with me. Jesse must've felt bad, because he went and bought me this HUGE thing of white roses (it took both of us to carry them), and then he kissed me. Then we were all wearing these hideous red Nebraska sweatshirts, and this other girl was wearing one, too. So she was telling him how cool it was that she had on the same shirt as him. (She was flirting like none other, but he just kind of acted like he didn't hear her.) Needless to say, I woke up in a mad panic attack... Agh. (End of dream.) So my friend has been seeing this... girl (for me not wanting to call her a "slut"). She's been dating another friend of mine--not really a friend, but an acquaintance... I think she's just attention deprived. Something... But yeah... Fat shit.
I'm so dizzy my head is spinnin'.../August 6, 2002/8:55 AM
What the hell am I doing up at this odd hour? I just got home from work. I got a new job. I work with mentally handicapped people in a group home. The good news: I get paid. The bad news: I work from 11 PM until 8 or 9 AM. Agh. It's ok, though. I'm surviving. Barely. My cell phone is shut off temporarily, I have three tickets to pay, and my license is gone in two days if I don't get signed up for S.T.O.P. classes, but it's all gravy, BABY. Muh! I have to save up another $3000 or $4000 before I can get a car. Now that's ok with me, because I can't decide what kind I want! People are crazy, and it's time for me to go eat. Chow!
Better.../July 16, 2002/2:14 AM
My friends are here from Omaha, and they're causing a lot of havoc. I got a new job. My hours are totally screwed up, but oh well. I'll be doing 11-7s and 9-9s in no time. Jesse's helping me find the "perfect" new car for me. (Since mine is dying, Mom and Dad said I can finally break into my bank account.) Ahh... I don't know what's going on this weekend as far as my plans to go to KCN go. Jesse doesn't want to "ditch John," but he wants to go with me. It's so weird to hear someone I like say that it would be fun to spend time with me. Hmm...
We're sick.../July 11, 2002/5:09 PM
I woke up around 10 AM to discover that I'm sick. It's almost the worst feeling in the world... I called Jesse, and it turns out he stayed home from work because he's sick, too. Damn it. My car is dying a slow and painful death, I think. The air conditioner compressor bearings are going out. Needless to say, if the belt locks up, my car will overheat, the alternator will die, and my battery will die. Agh. So I can't drive my car more than necessary. (It can't get fixed until Monday.) Hopefully my mom will come home soon so we can go get groceries. Yeah. That would make me feel better... Cookies, ice cream, juice boxes, Pop Tarts, etc.! Oh, yes. Kearney Cruise Night (KCN) is on the 20th this year. Jesse doesn't think he'll be able to take his car, which is sad now that he's getting it to where it runs right... I'm not even sure what I'm doing about the whole situation yet. I know there's a huge car show in St. Paul coming up, and I'm thinking it's going to be during the day on the 20th. That makes for some driving. I have a whole shitload of friends that want to just take my car up to Kearney and sit on the side streets and watch the cars go by. (Everyone does this atleast once during the night.) I think it'd be so much easier to see the cars this way. Who knows what we'll end up doing? Ahhh... Do you like my new page colors? I kind of modeled it after Jesse's car. (The exterior's going to be a neon yellowish green, and under the hood is all metallic blue.) It's so pretty. I'm in the process of getting a new job. I went to an interview and to observe what they do there two days ago. It's kind of like babysitting full time, only I'll be working with mentally handicapped people (ranging from age seven to 38). I have to get my CNA before I can start full time, but that's only two weeks of classes. I'll work 11 PM to 7 AM on weekdays and 9 PM to 9 AM on weekends. (That's only if I decide to go full time, which is guaranteed overtime basically...) I don't know... Oh! I added some new pictures to my "My Pics" page. Anyhow, it's time to go try to locate my mom. Adios.
It's getting.../June 30, 2002/11:58 PM
Better or worse? I don't know. I don't CARE. Hmm... Jesse's been coming over every weekend, which I love. I think that aspect of my life is getting better. I'm getting nicer. It's like, everyone he comes into contact with is a better person just for the fact... Well, maybe not everyone. I'm still thinking that (by his own way of reason) his ex might possibly be the spawn of Satan. Ahhh jeesh. I watched Behind Enemy Lines tonight. It was decent, but I didn't like it all that much. It just follwed this one pussy white boy throughout the whole movie. Yuck. Now, would you want to live as a coward, or die as a hero? Hrm... People are just being crazy. I think my tongue is healing now. I met some new drinking buddies the other night. I think I'm drinking too much. Yeah, six days in a row is too much. Jesse ended up carrying Heath into the house last night. Ohhh it was crazy. Imagine if you will, a 21 year-old that starts drinking at anywhere from 1 PM to 6 PM and finishes when he passes out... EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. It's not pretty, but it is entertaining. (And we always have a place to drink.) Everything else is pretty cut and dry. I'm going to go finish watching How High. Hopefully I'll get motivated to update more often now.
It's like that.../June 15, 2002/1:57 AM
I ripped my tongue 1/8 inch. Jesse just told me that... Nevermind. I'm not whining anymore. I'm just done with it. That's great. I wanna' fucking die. Ha ha ha. I need to go run off some of this anger. Be back later.
Let Her Cry.../June 14, 2002/11:51 AM
She sits alone by a lamppost
trying to find a thought that’s escaped her mind,
She says "Dad’s the one I love the most
but Stipe’s not far behind."
She never lets me in
only tell me where’s she’s been
when she’s had too much to drink,
I say that I don’t care I just run my hands
through her dark hair and I pray to God
you gotta help me fly away,
And just…
Let her cry…if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing…if it eases all her pain
Let her go…let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be…let her be.
This morning I woke up alone
found a note by the phone
saying maybe I’ll be back some day,
I wanted to look for you
You walked in I didn’t know just what to do
so I sat back down had a beer and felt sorry for myself.
Last nite I tried to leave
She cried so much I just
could not believe,
she was the same girl
I fell in love with long ago
She went in the back to get high
I sat down on my couch and cried
yelling "Oh mama,
please help me
won’t you hold my hand?"
God damn it, you little motherfucker! If you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say nothin'.../June 14, 2002/11:24 AM
"The thing about tunnels is they have an opening in the end." That's what a friend wrote in an e-mail to me after reading my page. I guess life's just looking really shitty for me right now, eh? I feel better, though. My friend Julie came and stayed with me for awhile, and we had a blast. We met a shitload of new people and had a great time. I finally quit my job... My mom wants to hang me upside-down from a tree and beat me repeatedly, I think... Jesse and I have been fighting a lot, so I think I'm going to back off for awhile. Hrm. He might come over tonight... He wants me to rent this movie called Cemetery Man. Shawn gave me a new tongue ring, (muh) so I took that in and had Joel change it out. Also got to see how nasty a navel piercing can get when infected (Julie's). It looked ouch. Anyhow, I have a normal sized tongue ring now--not my piercing bar. Yea! Julie and I went to Kearney to look at cars. We didn't find much, and the damn people at Wheels for You seem to be moving at the speed of Special Olympics hurdlers this week, as they haven't put the new one out still! (It supposedly comes out every other Friday???) There's an FTA concert coming Wednesday, June 26 at the Circle B. Everyone needs to go and support the band while the guys are back. Thanks! Um, what else? If you get bored, go pay my cell phone bill and my tickets. That'd be great. Really super. I need to go take a shower and get some shit done now. Maybe.
And then I see my baby, suddenly I'm not crazy.../June 6, 2002/1:25 AM
I thought I was done updating... UNTIL my ex's baby (and I say "baby" for a reason) sister starts sucking my ass and then calls me a psycho, yada, yada... She tells me to tell Jesse and Tris not to talk shit behind my ex's back... Let me tell you something, though. You don't know Jesse and you don't know Tris. So DON'T SAY SHIT THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. Let your brother handle his own, if he can, and you handle yours. Figure it out. Grow up, all of you.
Why am I here? Am I just wasting my time.../June 6, 2002/12:51 AM
Ok, Jesse totally hurt me tonight. I'm not saying anything about that... I don't want to make him sound mean... Yeah. Anyway, he's supposed to be coming over tomorrow (um... tonight). I don't want to say "we'll see..." I won't, I swear... Since Shawn always does these weird letters to people, and never says who he's talking to, I want to do one. Here it goes:
I let you into my life, almost into my head. God, I feel so fucking stupid. You made me look stupid, didn't you? You seem happier now. I don't hate you, I hate myself. I wasn't good enough, but you make it seem like you're the one with the problems. I wish it would've never happened. I wish you would've never said those words... I wish I'd never told you anything that mattered, because now it doesn't. Nothing fucking matters, isn't that right? Being friends doesn't fucking matter, I know that much. I just want to be non-existant. I want to be nothing. So friends is nothing... Maybe I wanted everything. I did. I wanted too damn much, and I thought you had it. You did. You just proved how stupid I really can be. I love you.
I act like shit don't phase me; inside it drives me crazy.../June 5, 2002/2:47 AM
Last night Tris and I went driving around and ran into a couple of psycho fuckers (Hooker and his gay buddy) who tried to chase us down in their pickup. We get on the phone and call John, who has Jesse and Joe with him, and he comes to meet us at Family Dollar to see what's going on with these losers. Hooker, seeing us in there, flips a bitch in the street and heads the other way. About five minutes later, (we're still waiting for Hooker to come back) the cops show up to give us all $73 tresspassing tickets. (All five of us!) Hooker comes rolling through, only after Tris called him again, and we yell to the cops that he's the psycho we were after. All Hooker gets is a lecture. Joe and Jesse start punching the shit out of John's back window, which gets them yelled at even more. Joe even got to sit in the back of the cop car! So let's recap the score: two $73 tresspassing tickets, one $98 speeding ticket, one $81 cell phone bill, a court date for my psycho ex on the 20th of this month, court on the 26th of this month for this ticket, court for my ex's gay friend God knows when, looking for a new job, yada, yada... Jesse and I got into this huge fight and we just now (kind of) made up. I guess we won't see each other as much (unless he wants to drive down here). Oh well. He needs to get his damn car done, especially since the other one of his cars appears to be dying slowly. Dios mio. I'm completely out of cash money. There's no more asking Mom and Dad, either. It's not like that anymore. I'm on my own again. Time to earn what I can't burn. Time to fucking get my shit straight. Finally. So if I take a break from everyone in real life, I'm sorry, but I have to work on this. It's killing me for real. I love you all...
And it's just not in my plan for someone to care who I am.../June 3, 2002/12:27 PM
Logan died June 24, 1999. It's almost been three years. Three fucking years of hell, I will say. Why do I bring this up? Because my ex-boyfriend apparently killed himself (accidentally). I don't know why he had a gun pointed at his head, I don't know why he didn't realize it was loaded, and I don't know why he pulled the fucking trigger... but he did. His funeral was this morning at 10:30. I don't like funerals anymore. They're supposed to be a time to say "good-bye," but they're not. They're a time to watch everyone cry a million worthless tears that can't bring anyone back. I saw Chris about a month ago at the mall. My friend and I were walking in, and he pulled up in this car I didn't recognize. He said "hi" to me, asked me how I had been. I didn't even think it was him. I suppose jail changes a person, but he seemed so damn happy. Not the depressed Chris I had last seen. Maybe appearances really do lie. Enough of that... Back to the same old shit. Trevor isn't stalking me. (For the record.) I kind of left Jesse alone for three days and went out with this Joe guy. I have no clue why, I guess Jesse and I were just fighting a lot last week. I broke up with Joe when I realized how fucking dumb I was. The same night, I got pulled over, and Jesse drove by. I completely started crying because I missed him so much. I went to his house that night, and everything was ok again. He even actually stayed at my house with me and another one of my friends. We got home around 6 AM, and slept until about 4 PM the next day. I took my other friend home, and Jesse and I stayed at my house until about 9:30 PM. We even had a "family meal" with my parents. Woah. My family loves him so much. I'm so happy. Work is a whole different story. It sucks when you can't have a day off. If you do get a day off, you don't want it, because you have too many bills adding up to miss a day. I have a $73 loitering ticket, a $98 speeding ticket, and an $81 cell phone bill. So I'm getting a new job: one where I have set hours, make good money, and can get a day off. Once my bills are paid, I'm moving out. Anyone need a roomate? Heh. I love Jesse. Okbye.
Ghandi says.../May 22, 2002/11:39 PM
Erik and I are so over. We've been over. He wanted me to just like, quit my job or something... No, I'm not! I love my job; I love the people I work with, and he just wasn't worth losing anything. What have I gained since this break up? Hmm... I got a cell phone, I got another car, and I got the love of my life back (hopefully). More about that in a minute... My ex and his fucking psycho friend maimed my (old) car, so he (my ex) got put in jail. The other freak will go to trial soon enough. So two days ago Tris, Hula, and me are driving around and this guy (Scott) calls my cell phone saying that he's John, my ex. I call John, and ofcourse it wasn't him. I call Scott and his gay friend (Troy) back and tell him that John is angry with him for using his name. Scott tells me to bring John and Jesse over, so I do. Troy comes running outside, and he's on the phone with the police. The cops come and, as usual, nothing happens, so we leave. The next day I go to Jesse's house and he starts asking me why John and I used to hate each other. (Apparently we're like best friends, according to Jesse?) I get into town tonight and Tris calls John (who is with Jesse) to find out what time I should go over to Jesse's house. We end up at John's grandma's house, building a box for God knows what... Jesse obviously got mad because John and I are talking again, so my friends and I left. Tris calls John and tells him to tell Jesse not to be mad at me. Jesse says that he wants "more than a fuck buddy" too, but he seems to think that I love with my eyes, and not my heart. Aghh. I went out and bought a new shirt and a new pair of underwear. No pics as of yet! Heh... I have a feeling I'm going to be working more than usual, considering we just had one person quit and God knows how many fired. What else? This guy from Aurora (there are two now, but only one is a crackhead) is obsessed with me, and he doesn't even know me. He says I sound sweet on the phone, and he keeps begging me to let him take me to dinner. What the hell?! I don't know why anyone would even want to think about dating me. I'm obviously confused or something, but atleast I'm not the only one. Right, Jesse? Shawn? Tris? Erik? Tony? Right. Adi for now...
I cry when angels deserve to die.../May 5, 2002/1:11 AM
Some bitch hit my (parked) car last night. At Wendy's. She started bawling to no avail. Well, to some avail. (I didn't file a report against her whining ass.) Went inside Wendy's to talk to a couple of friends, and these fat bitches start flirting with my boyfriend. I couldn't tell if he was flirting back, but oh well. I think my emotional buttons are switched to "off" at the moment. I really don't care about anything, and all I do is work and sleep. I don't even have time to eat. I don't want to. My job is great. Awesome money and great people. I used to be jealous of people who work where I work. I mean, they don't just hire anyone. It's not like a Skagway/APAC sort of deal. Heh. I need more caffeine in my life. Just enough to stay awake 24-7. I need to work all the volumes that I'm scheduled. This is starting to suck. I can't wait until payday! My boyfriend Erik... is weird. It seems like he always wants to spend time with me, but I'm always working. Sometimes it's because he's working, and he goes to school. I think Saturdays are going to be our days together. Well, the night anyhow. I just need to stop thinking and go to bed. I work at 10 AM. Yea!
Trust in my self-righteous suicide.../April 30, 2002/10:24M
Jesse's house almost got burned to the ground. His neighbor (the son of Derek's mom's boyfriend) left a candle burning on the stove, which ignited the house and almost spread to Jesse's. Yaish. So Jesse and I were in the garage around midnight, and here comes Derek's family. I about flipped. It was so weird, and ofcourse Jesse had no clue who they were. So I felt crazy. Erik and I got into our first real fight last night. I definitely won. I went to work today, then went to see him and Trista. Found out that Heather dumped "the love of her life." It's a scary thought--some girls really are evil. I need to get more sleep. Have to work volumes on Friday and Saturday.
Everybody's changing; there's no one here that's real.../April 29, 2002/12:36 AM
Erik and I are officially together. I'm happy. He came over tonight and met my parents, my brother and his wife, and my nephew. Everything seems to be going ok, except for the fact that he wants to buy an SUV. Well, I guess that's his choice... not mine, right? He and I kind of play fight a lot. It's just weird dating someone new, I think. You have to get used to the other person and their habits. Kind of like having roomates. That reminds me! Shawn is the coolest guy ever. (You know what I mean.) Although, he is kind of scandalous by drinking all the Bacardi and Sky Blue that was once in the house. (Sobbing..) Yeah, well... The wedding was a blast. I got to see and talk to so many people that I haven't seen in years. Work is going great, other than the fact that my brother will be leaving to manage the restaurant in York. I'm sad. Really sad. I hardly get to see him as it is, and now he's moving further away. Again. Oh well. Atleast he'll still be in the same state as me. I watched Joyride tonight. It's a pretty good show. A little twist in the end for all you suspense freaks out there. I love scary movies with a passion. It's an adrenaline rush. (Similar to racing cars.) I need sleep...
Nothing gold can stay.../April 26, 2002/12:04 AM
So my brother's wedding is tomorrow. Jesse will tell me today if he can go or not. If not, then oh well. Erik asked me out last night. I said "no." Well, I said, "Ask me again on Sunday." I figure that way, I'll have enough time to sort out my feelings. Heh. I dyed my hair today and went tanning. It's amazing that you can get a tan in 60 seconds or less, but I look crispy. I worked again today. One of the girls is giving me a shit of a hard time, but all the other people are beyond nice. Agh, I feel like I need to cry or something. I'm stressed about a bunch of stupid shit. I know I can take the stress out of my life, but then I wouldn't have many friends left! Heh. No, really. Between all the friends, boyfriends, boyfriends' friends, and their friends--I'm dead exhausted. Time for bed.
I love you, man.../April 23, 2002/11:52 PM
Do you know what happens when you lose half a contact behind your eye? Your eye gets all red and hurts like hell until you realize that you need to get the contact remains out. Ouch. Jesse might go with me to my brother's wedding. I actually didn't ask Erik. (He's working that day, anyhow.) I totally fucked up this coming weekend for everyone. Trista finally believes all the rumors about the guy she likes. Why? Because he used her for sex and now wants to ignore her. So she is going to die of boredom, I assume. Tonight she, Julie, Erik, and I went driving around. Stopped in to see Brian and Josh at work. Erik knows Brian, as it turns out, and was talking to him non-stop. I went to work today, and it was actually bearable. The people were all really nice, as far as I could tell. Tomorrow I work a double. Joyous.
Now I lay me down to sleep.../April 23, 2002/2:41 PM
Erik says he likes me. He likes spending time with me. Stuff like that. I don't know what to do about Jesse. He's not Logan, but he's pretty close in his actions. (Words kind of sting, though.) I feel bad for Trista. She's kind of learning that the guy she likes might not be ready to like her in the same way. (So we went and cried on Jesse's shoulder last night around 11.) Heh. I hate how pissy guys are when they're working on their cars. Was I like that when I put my blue lights up? Ok, maybe I was... Hrm... I start work today. Again. I hate getting used to new shit. So much confusion. Oh well, atleast I know my big brother will be there to get me out of the shit! I guess I'm hanging out with Erik tonight after work. Jesse thinks that he (Erik) and I have more going on than meets-the-eye, but we don't. Really. Just spending time getting to know some new people, that's all. If I fall in love (or out of love) along the way, I can't help it. I'm trying not to, though. My brother's wedding is coming right up. I haven't asked anyone yet. Would it be wrong to ask Erik and not ask Jesse?
It falls apart.../April 19, 2002/12:08 AM
Everything just gets worse as the days pass. Jesse and I have no clue what the fuck we are doing (or aren't doing) together. Erik (a guy I met last weekend) is about ready to profess his undying love to me. Hmm. I have some guy (Scott) that goes to UNL trying to steal my undies as part of a deal for his friend (Troy). Maybe it's a revenge for me not making out with him (Troy)? Hehe. My throat hurts like I just got my tonsils out (again). I think Mountain Dew makes it worse. Caffeine before bedtime. I'm such a winner. Just got back from Jesse's house. I'm still trying to get him to teach me how to box. Last night I ended up crying on his shoulder, and tonight I ended up... well, yeah. He thought his brother had come home, which struck the fear of God in us both. I really don't want to explain that. Let's just say "nothing was started that couldn't be finished." Good enough. I gave up on Tom. It's just too much drama. Too much more drama. Hrm.
The colors.../April 16, 2002/2:41 AM
Ah, what strange hours I keep these days. I fixed my drivers and such. I now have all my colors back, which is really useful when trying to update this page. I went to see Trista yesterday afternoon. She's a little upset because she likes this guy, and everyone is telling her that he's using her and that he's a player. Now, this guy is my friend, but he has got a reputation that isn't the greatest. Oh well. I guess we will wait and see what happens. After Trista's house I went to Tom's. His older brother asked me a shitload of questions, which I didn't mind. (Or should I say, "wasn't offended by?") He keeps asking me what "tienes ganas de" means in Spanish. (Maybe it was "tengo ganas de"?) I told him to ask his teacher. Heh. So I went home at around 10:30, and I started filing through my e-mails and shit. To make a long, sad story short: Tom likes blondes, and I'm not (blonde). Well, I'm not really blonde. You know? My feelings are hurt, and I think I'm going to cry, BUT I talked to Jesse today, so I'm halfway mellow. Trista wants me to go with her and that guy this weekend. Ugh. He's bringing one of his friends (who just happens to be an ex-crush of mine). I think he (his friend) thinks I'm psychotic. Hrm... Terry wants to stay at his dad's this weekend. God dammit. Everything is so confusing around here. Someone tell me what to do, quick!
Quit following me.../April 15, 2002/11:15 AM
I've been looking for a damn video driver for my computer. I need a SiS 5598 for Windows 98. So if you find it, tell me. It's getting to be a pain in my ass, considering my computer is running the internet off the C drive and storing files (supposedly) on the D drive. Echh. Anyhow, I got fed up with trying to find where the damn drivers were installing to, so I created a new folder called "SiS Crap Drivers." Good idea, eh? I can't use my answering machine until I get that installed, so if you call and the phone is busy, keep trying! In other news, I have a stalker. He wrote out the lyrics to The Invisible Man and stuck them on my car. He also left me a pair of shoes, which are my new favorites. The only bad thing is, I have no clue who this guy is. Jesse told me he could either be a total weirdo, or just shy (like Jesse is). I'm hoping he's just shy. I have a pretty good idea of who it isn't, but I have no clue who it is. Oh well. I wouldn't say that I'm in the market for a new boyfriend right now anyway. I'm pretty happy where I'm at. Oh, I need to go tanning. My brother's wedding is at the end of April. It'll be fun. I think I already know who I'm going to take with me, I just have to ask him. Hrm...
Crash into me.../April 14, 2002/11:28 AM
I saw someone get killed last night. I don't want to talk about it. Trista and I went driving around last night until 2 AM. I met this guy named Erik, and he's really cool. I called Tom and yelled at him for about 10 minutes. I think I almost got something accomplished there. Aaron thought he needed to steal Terry away from me for the night. Hrm. Heather and her boyfriend came down, but I didn't talk to them that much. I had other shit on my mind. Jesse and John were rolling around, harrassing us. Too bad they got a nice surprise from doing all that. Hahahaha! Dale and Daniel caught up to us at 1 AM and begged us to come over. So we didn't. Heh. Other than that, it was a typical Saturday night.
Be right back. I swear.../April 12, 2002/9:52 PM
I think people like pissing me off. Like, by putting me on hold for five minutes, coming back on the line and saying "hold on again." If I didn't give a shit about this person, I'd never think about calling him/her again. But I do. (Sigh...) I'm having really bad timing in my relationships lately. Hit and miss. More like swing and miss for me. This new guy I'm "seeing" (or whatever) is never home, and when he is, he's usually busy doing shit like homework. I'm not saying that he shouldn't do his damn homework, but it sucks. So here I am, sulking around the house. I'm sick, too. I hate men. I hate the way they drive by my friends' houses to see if I'm over there. Hrms. I hate the way they get jealous over each other and try to kill each other. Heh. I need a vacation.
Whowhatwherewhenwhyhow.../April 12, 2002/3:07 AM
And so the story goes. I haven't written in two months because I've been busy. No, not really. Infact, I can't recall what all I have been doing. Ah yes. I moved to Aurora with two roomates. That didn't work. I got my car back and got a job. That didn't work. I went out with a (another) psycho for nine months. That didn't work. I dated one of his alcoholic friends. That didn't work. I don't work. Oh, school didn't work out either. I'm doing absolutely peachy, though. I still have my car and my friends. I'm seeing a guy from G.I. He goes to school with one of my friends. This story's going to get nasty, though, and I'm getting tired... To cut it short, my friend likes a guy I slept with, and I like a guy she goes to school with. It's all sorts of funny if you know the actuality of the whole thing. Heh. Night, night.
Unforgiven too.../January 31, 2002/8:08 PM
I'm bored, so I'm posting again. Aggh. I think I'm actually getting somewhere in this relationship business. Who knows? All I can say is that last night I had the best phone conversation I've ever had with this person. They were actually "loveable," as I like to say. We talked for hours, but it didn't seem that long at all. We might even go out tomorrow night, weather permitting. Life is getting better. (I think...) In other news, the finger I sliced open looks like shit. I'm still bandaging it. Tomorrow I have to go get fitted for my dress for my brother's wedding. (Already have my date for that! Hehe!) It's actually a nice-looking dress. Something I would wear to a dance and such. Now, what am I going to do for the next four (or so) hours? Need to browse a friend's page and see what the fuck he did to his computer case... Nothing else for now really.
Fifty.../January 31, 2002/2:54 PM
Oh, the stressful situations we create ourselves. If I were pregnant, my boyfriend would be mad because that's why I'm on birth control. If I lost the baby, I'm not sure if he would be happy. Not happy, no. If I had a girl (and that were our only child), he would be disappointed because the family name and the car wouldn't get passed down. (Sigh...) Great. Someone is calling me, and I have no sound card! I hate my life. Not really, though...
Slice-n-dice.../January 30, 2002/11:38 PM
I sliced my finger open while removing my sound card. Why was I removing my sound card? It was conflicting with my modem. So my finger was bleeding all over. I was running all over the house, watching it bleed all over. I laid down and fainted (or God knows what). When I woke up, there was blood everywhere, but my finger was bandaged. So how do you tell someone something like this? Was that my fault? Did I really kill someone?
Pierce me.../January 29, 2002/1:18 PM
It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood. Not really, but who cares? I went to In The Flesh last night at about 9:00 PM to get some jewelry and look around. I left, and at about 9:45 PM I decided I wanted my tongue pierced. So my friends and I go back (thanks, Joel and Alary for staying late) and I realize that I don't have my driver's license. Dammit. So I might go back tonight if I get really excited. It's hard to tell right now. Depending on if my car situation improves by the end of the week, we will see how everything goes.
Well.../January 27, 2002/9:29 PM
So much for Euphorium Palace. Heh. The Webmaster over there seems to think he can talk shit about everyone and delete people's shit, so I'm out. I think everyone else is out but him, actually. Hrm. Anyhow, this weekend was "unusual," as my friends put it. I did meet some really cool people, and found out that I have another place to crash (and burn?) if I ever need it. A friend of mine got a car today for $250. Now, that's not too shabby for a '91... Oh well. It needs a little body work, a window fixed, and a radio. Big whoop. My own car dilemmas should be solved soon enough. (Hopefully.) Oh, someone in town has two slow 5.0s now... not just one. Heh.
So brand new.../January 14, 2002/11:34 PM
Welp, this one's pretty much up-and-running. All I do on the other site is bitch! Oh, and Friday... Shit, I'm not telling you, you stupid HOE! Hahahah! No one is online, except for them damn drunks! (*Wink!!!*) Yeah, you know who you are! Damn you! Well, I'm gunna' go bathe I think. Adi...
Test.../January 14, 2002/8:14 PM
Helllooo, world. Once again I have made a different webpage. (I'm still over at http://euphorium.n3.net, too.) This is just a quick little post so that I can see how things are looking. More later.
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