Dahpimpsta.Bagelz.Bigfoot.Me.Myself.I.Bigdeezy.TallBitch.Jew.Balla
Life through the eyes of the tall one they call BigFoot
Look at my tall goofy ass on my WEBCAM.
3/11/01
As years pass by in our life, we change day by day, and we become accustomed to our enviorment and surroundings. We must adjust or we get eaten up and spit out by society. Ever since High School began for me, in retrospect I've seen a metamorphosis of a shy, quiet, non-partier Lil Deezy to a outspoken, crazy, partyier Big Deezy. It is uncanny what social life does for a person, as I used to avoid parties as I was taught morally to shun a petty excuse to gather talk and do stupid things on a weekend night. As the high school years past, I thought screw the system, I must be myself and go with the flow, and then all of a sudden like a new CBS sitcom, I was throwing the parties. I think that being on the victorious basketball team, which has been very successful unlike other petty Simi High programs, boosted my, what some call a "rep", and I was kinda forced to throw parties every freakin weekend. This being the first weekend in about 3 months I haven't thrown a party on a Friday or Saturday, seemed to also be a very gay-parade weekend, as I hung out at Del-Taco on Saturday night, freezing my nipples off, skateboarding and eating 1/2 pound burritos with light red sauce. Getting back to the topic of change brings up another point, of the power important figures have over one another. Me being a basketball player and all, I look up to my idol Michael Jordan, the greatest balla ever. I try to follow his footsteps, because the path he choose was one that has made him 35 million dollars in one year. Recently I have invoked some new idols and role models. These guys have the biggest pair of balls around, they put their life on a limb to entertain and be funny, and they would be the guys on "Jackass" and the skating videos known as "CKY." Brandon Dicamillo, Bam Margera, Jess Margera, Raab Himself, Rake Yohn, Ryan Dunn, Steve-O, Johnny Knoxville (Also refered to as Johnny Coxville - Episode 7) and others make up an oodless (yes it is a word) of characters that are crazy. They think of the most creative things to do to themselves even if it means pain, for shits and giggles. On tonight's episode they showed Steve-O getting a full body wax treatment, ball hair included. There was also a segment on "antiqueing" in which Bam and Brandon plaster their sleeping friends with flour, it's funny ...ish. Anyways, these guys have given me a different outlook on life, and that is to be free at will of any worries, and let it all go, or at least for now until I get to college. One must not have fear, for the greatest thing to fear is fear itself. I see all these younger adolescents at school, looking up to people like me (no pun intended) and Luke asking us to do things that they wouldn't do. Why can't they sac up and endure the consequences??? Our world is at risk, because our youth is becoming more and more timid and petrified of consequences of their actions. What about in war time??? Our armies in 20 years will be made up of these frightened people, and then we will be taken over by a country like Burma, and we'll have to survive on recycled toilet water and a can of asparagus (?which smells like asparagus?). It goes to show you that our so-called Generation-X is not one of expandability, creativity, and fearfulivity, but one of non-expandability, non-creativity, and non-fearfulivity. Don't get me wrong, there are some that try in this world, but I'm talking about people who have no light at the end of the tunnel, those are the dissapointments of our society. Back to the motto of change once again, so I say people of our America should become like the people of "Jackass," creative to the point of making a hole in your parents yard so your dad's lawnmower falls into it, but not to the idiotic point of getting a full body wax treatment. You think you know but you have no idea.
All you people wonder why I wear sandals everyday. Most think that I'm too cheap (another stereotype of the Jewish people) to buy shoes, or maybe I need to air out my feet because in shoes I create an odor due to an incapacity to hold sweat and it stinks like, once again asparagus. That isn't the case at all my lilly-livered wonderers, I wear sandals because well I have tendinitis in just about everywhere in my body that has tendons, especially Mr. Achilles Tendon. You then say, well shoes are for support of the achilles, but in fact it gives too much support and makes them sore, and I get cramps 24-7. It's a bitch having size 16 feet, but it's the darndest truth. At the same time, about the shoe thing, I have about 15 pairs of shoes in my closet right this minute, whoop 14, my older brother Josh, joshed me out of a pair. About 3-4 of the pairs I have never worn ever. While I was on a sponsered Adidas travelling team during my last couple summers, I was given shoes by every coach I played for. I decide just not to wear them though, just cuz I don't want to, and I kinda look like a clown with big feet and a big nose. So that's the deal with that, so stop bugging me or asking if I'm cold on a cold day, because I havee great insulated unique penis toes.
Otherwise on the weekend agenda, it was pretty chill back, but it lagged hardcore monkey kahonas. Oh yeah, I got word late saturday night on my message board, written by "Concerned Coach" that we might in fact have been caught by the man who wore the spit wads to the face. Although I haven't spoken to this "Concerned Coach," there have been rumors that it might in fact be a joke, and everyone is playing along, in which I hope it is, but then again it might not be. BUT I do warn those involved if this is a joke, because trust me, Luke and I will seek revenge, because revenge will be neccesary under these circumstances. For ever action there is an opposite and equal reaction. Well we will break that rule, because it won't be equal, but more than equal. Muhaha I say with authority. I also got a chance to watch lots of college hoops, and found out that my team I'm playing for next year, Gonzaga was given the 12th seed in the South regional, once again deemed an underdog, but ESPN has them being the only under-seeded team (seeds 5-16) making it to the Sweet 16. Go Gonzaga Baby!!! I'm outta here beattttttch!!!
3/10/01
The society that we dwell in is very rude and dim-witted. I woke up at around 10, with a slight Tae-Bo hangover(if you don't get the indside joke, because it's an inside joke, e-mail me) and went down to the rec to ball it up. Why do I say our society is dim-witted and rude? Because dumb little kids and adults must always come up to me and ask me how tall I am, what is it of meaning to them? If you contemplate for a second, have you ever heard people asking how fat other people are, or why one's ass is so big, or why one's eye is always looking in the other direction? I don't get it, society can kiss my ass, it makes me feel as if I'm a freak of nature, maybe I am indeed, but please keep your questioning to yourself, cuz I could lash out and bust your knee-cap.
So has anyone seen this Blue Man Group??? If you don't know who these homo's are, they are three guys who are all painted blue, and kinda look like the Smurfs grown-up tweeked out on crack. What do these guys represent? I think it's a petty excuse for Intel, makers of the Pentium IV Processor, to show what they put in their processors now-a-days, little Blue Crazy Guys. Now you know when your computer goes hay-wire, why a blue screen comes up, oh yeah it's The Blue Man Group. Yeah I figured it all out.
My 17 years on this planet has been enough to figure out how this whacked out world works. Some incompetent people during my high school life have found out that I'm a Bagel, Matza Ball and Big-Nosed, yes it all means I'm Jewish. The people, mostly my friends, usually on a daily basis let me know that I'm Jewish, using obscene words, or comments adjourning to the Jewish people. Everyone says that the Jews are cheap, we immoralize society, and flat out don't belong here. Well those people are actually the jerks I laugh at, because the Jewish people are actually the most giving and dominant people in the world. I wish I was around in the time of Hitler, cuz I would take by big size 17 foot, and shove it right up his communist, faggot ass. The Jews are involved in what can be called, and indeed has been called, a conspiracy against all mankind and will take whatever steps they deem necessary for them to dominate the rest of the world. It is because of these beliefs, and the willingness of the Jews to act upon them, that "anti-semitism" exists and perhaps the reason why the Jews have been disliked and driven out of every nation in which they have inhabited at least once. At the same time, us Jews are one of the more successful people there are: The largest media conglomerate today is Walt Disney Company, whose chairman and CEO, Michael Eisner, is a Jew. ABC's cable subsidiary, ESPN, is headed by president and CEO Steven Bornstein, a Jew. Time Warner, Inc, is the second of the international media leviathans. The chairman of the board and CEO, Gerald Levin, is a Jew. Viacom, Inc, headed by Sumner Redstone (born Murray Rothstein), a Jew, is the third largest megamedia corporation in the country, with revenues of over $10 billion a year. With the top three, and by far the largest, media companies in the hand of Jews, it is difficult to believe that such an overwhelming degree of control came about without a deliberate, concerted effort on their part. The resulting ability of the Jews to use the press as an unopposed instrument of Jewish policy could hardly be better illustrated than by the examples of the nation's three most prestigious and influential newspapers: the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and the Washington Post. They originate the news; the others merely copy it, and all three newspapers are in Jewish hands. We do indeed control the media, and are a very successful people. I will comment more on my religion time by time, and I leave you with this quote.
"You cannot be English Jews. We are a race, and only as a race can we perpetuate. Our mentality is of a Hebraic character, and differs from that of an Englishman. Enough subterfuges! Let us assert openly that we are International Jews." - Gerald Soman
3/9/01
Friday's in Dustin's life are always the bomb-beeezy (for you non-ebonic people, bomb-beezy means cool, awesome, excellent)...One think you must not do to a man is wake him up early in the mourn, or on this Friday approximately at 5:55 a.m. How and why did this happen you might say?? Well after going to sleep at 2 a.m., about four hours later I get woken up by four beautiful cheerleaders and my mom silly-stringing me to death. Amongst the mourning poo-crust in my eye, I now had slimy sill-string all over my face, and then was blinded by Michelle's freakin video camera, god damn Mary and Joseph, I thought I saw "the light." At first I thought it was a dream, and they all were going to seduce me, but reality bit me in the ass, and it was a "www.cheerleaders kidnap the basketball team and take them out to breakfast.com" thang. I must give props for the cheerleaders for they one: scared the shit outta me, and two: kept it a good secret. Cheerleaders are very bad at keeping secrets, because they must blab to others. Then again, why must they wake us up so damn early?? Who thought of the line, "The early bird gets the worm" what the hell is that? Post a message about it at Bird Shit Comments Yeah so anyways we proceeded to pick up a couple other players, Stevie was next, and oh did I get him good, I unloaded a whole can of Silly-String into his ear, blah blah blah, we went out to breakfast and yeah, my day was poopy because I was sleep deprived for the rest of the day. This was my drama just before 7 o' clock, but oh does it get good.
We were getting ready to leave to go to the prep-bastards a.k.a. Westlake's tennis courts at North Ranch. While I was mentally preparing myself, by shouting out obscene gestures, and throwing tennis balls at the yard-supervisors, I happen to split my forehead open on the pencil sharpener, please don't ask. Now I looked like Gorbachev, and well, people laughed. We arrived at the elegant, but strict bound North Ranch. It seems as I'm a popular person around their, because the other pussy Westlake players seem to talk shit, but once I talk back, it seems as if they crawl back under the little rock they came from. During our first match, this chubby, 7-Eleven lookin, four-eyed jerk from the JV team came over to try and distract me. Instead of showing his big titties, and oh were they big, because when he ran I saw his tig ole' bitties smack his glasses off. Mr. Chubster then made the quote of the day, and this was while I was serving, "If it wasn't for this fence, I would anal-rape you!" What the hell?? That is some sick gay humor this fatty was invoking upon myself. While Wick tells me to calm down during matches and not to get in trouble, I couldn't help myself. I then started yelling back at him, and oh did I verbally abuse him. I didn't hear one more word outta his mouth. Westlake just thinks they are some hard-asses, but they can't back their ...ish up, damn shikaka beatches. Luke and I did pick up one victory on the day, as we killed their number two doubles team, how sad!!! Although my nipples remained hard all day, it was all good, and in a losing effort we all had mucho funo.
We left the North Ranch parking lot which was full of Beamers, Benzos, and our Astro Vans, and then the fun-excitement began, because on the way home, we all shoot spit-wads at other passing vehicles. We have all developed an accuracy of nailing other car's driver side windows smack-dab in the middle. We wonder how they just don't see it, dumb New-York drivers, oh wait-a-minute. Well cutting to the chase the "Spit-Wad of the Day" goes to me and Luke. While on Royal Ave. we were driving beside this guy in a SUV, and while Luke and I are sitting in the back, we both shot a phatty wad out the passenger side window and both nailed the guy in the face. Oh man!!! It was great as the guy was surprised and reacted by whipping his head back, all of us in the van dissapeared down to the floor. As we braked, the guy also stopped dead in the middle of the street, waiting for us to pass him, and when we did, the phatty wads remained on his cheek. He followed us until our gutsy driver, who wants to remain anonymous, made a quick left. We saw him writing down our license plate number, but it's a rental van, so I laugh at his stupidity. I hit up a party in the night time, but will tell about it at a later time, as this journal entry has been quite lengthy. I will try to keep them shorter. I'm out, and until tommorow, lick my big penis toes!!!
3/8/01
Alrighty then, I find myself starting a journal of my own, I feel that it would be better for people to see how my life is run, and what my emotions are everyday, because people listen to me and feel very confused sometimes. Maybe because I'm five feet taller then everyone else and my words get mummbled by time it hits another persons ears, I don't know you tell me. Well anyways, my journals are going to be like a Seinfeld episode, very off topic, yet it gets the point across. I have to first give good credit to the bloody englishman Luke, since he was the first to start a journal on the web which can be seen at Luke's Journal . Now I will get to my usual busy, lackluster, excitement-filled day.
So the basketball season has ended, and the enormous pressure is lifted off my shoulders, so for the second straight year, I decided to play tennis. Why the hell would I play tennis?? People ask that question all the time, and I have no logical answer for them, I feel it is a good way to get and maintain a tan, condition, and intimidate people. I play doubles with my furry little friend Luke, and well we both know that are athleticism gets us by. The funny thing is, what is going through the minds of the other team when they see me on the court, cuz not often do you see a 6'9' guy playing tennis in high school, or at that fact anywhere. Luke and I laugh at the petty opponents we play against that have taken years of those expensive UCLA lessons, and we eradicate them easily, yet we barely play. Yet again, you have those rich bastards at schools like Westlake who dominate preppy sports like tennis, and whose lessons did come in handy. Tommorow, we play Westlake, and although most likely the odds against us are about 4,200 to 1 of winning, we aren't worried about beating them tommorow, cuz we're Simi and we have a jolly good ole' time doing other creative things. See, Westlake has this gay pride flag they bring to all the matches, and well Luke and I being the devious human beings we are, thought it would be a great idea to take the flag. Bringing up another point about mischeif, I feel the tennis team at Simi was full of good little boys, till Luke and I joined it, because it seems as if we have turned the program around into a well oiled machine, because we have taught others to let your emotions out on the court. The object in the game of tennis at Simi, is to injure the opposing players, because my theory is, if you give a nice fore-hand smash to their groin, they will immediately lose all sense, and therefore have to forfeit, saving us the running around. I think I have this tennis game figured out done to the bone. Yeah so back to the stupid Westlake team..tommorow my goal is too wreak havok on the team, and their team is so stuck up, or at least they have something stuck up their arses, they play at North Ranch, which is seriously a nice place. Last year I took off my shirt, and they yelled at me, yet I proceded to flip them the bird. Tommorow will be hell as I have lots of things planned that I hope to talk about tommorow. Westlake hasn't felt the wrath of this Bagel!!!
Well this is the first of many entries that will be put on this page, some will be straight-forward, yet some will get outta hand, but its for the benefit of my fans who enjoy my humor. So until tommorow, lick my big fat penis toes!!!