The Babbit and the Bromide

A Mr. Smythe met a Mr. Jones on the avenue one day
"These strange Americans do talk in a most peculiar way."
They both were solid citizens,  they both had been around,
And as they spoke you clearly saw their feet were on the ground.

    HELLO,       HOW ARE YOU?
        HOW'S THE FOLKS?         WHAT'S NEW?
    I'M GREAT,           THAT'S GOOD.
        HA   HA.            KNOCK WOOD!!
    WELL, WELL             WHAT SAY?
        HOW YA BEEN?            NICE DAY.
    HOW'S TRICKS?              WHAT'S NEW?
        THAT'S FINE.        HOW ARE YOU?

Nice weather we are having but it gives me such a pain;
I've taken my umbrella so of course it doesn't rain.

    HIGH HO!!               THAT'S LIFE.
        WHAT'S NEW?         HOW'S THE WIFE?
    GOTTA RUN.                  OH MY!!
        TA TA       AU REVOIR                       GOODBYE.

Ten years went quickly by for both these substantial men,
And then it happened that one day they chanced to meet again.
That they had both developed in ten years there was no doubt,
And so, of course, they had an awful lot to talk about.

    HELLO,                          HOW ARE YOU?
        HOW'S THE FOLKS?            WHAT'S NEW?
    I'M GREAT!!                     THAT'S GOOD.
        HA HA,                          KNOCK WOOD!!
    WELL, WELL,                 WHAT SAY?
        HOW YA BEEN?                    NICE DAY.
    HOW'S TRICKS?                   WHAT'S NEW
        THAT'S FINE.                    HOW ARE YOU?

I'm I know your face but I just can't recall your name;
Well how ya been ol' boy, you're looking just about the same

    HI HO,                          THAT'S LIFE
        WHAT'S NEW?                 HOW'S THE WIFE?
    GOT TO RUN.                 OH MY!!
        TA TA  AU REVOIR                GOODBYE!!

Before they met again some 20 years they had to wait,
And this time it happened up above inside St. Pater's gate.
A harp one was carrying and both were wearing wings,
And this is what they said as they were strumming on the strings.

    HELLO,                          HOW ARE YOU?
        HOW'S THE FOLKS?                WHAT'S NEW?
    I'M GREAT!                              THAT'S GOOD.
        HA HA                           KNOCK WOOD.
    WELL, WELL,                         WHAT SAY?
        HOW YA BEEN?                    NICE DAY
    HOW'S TRICKS?                           WHAT'S  NEW?
        THAT'S FINE.                    HOW ARE YOU?

You've grown a little stouter since I saw you last, I think
You must come ove someday and we'll have a little drink.

    HI HO                           THAT'S LIFE
        WHAT'S NEW?                 HOW'S THE WIFE?
    GOTTA RUN                                   OH MY
        TA TA     AU REVOIR                     GOODBYE
 

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