TavNastee

The Munkey

DBZ Summary

The Watcher

Back to the Booth

3/1/03

6 Million Ways to Die, Choose one...........

     Guess what motherfuckers......................................I'm back. Well this is the first new column for the new look. So I got to make this motherfucker a little special for ya.

     First I'll begin with a little movie review, not as much as the Burning Crotch reviews, but hey they're my motherfucking thoughts so who gives a fuck. Yea Nastee, I know I got to do a review, just let me find one worth doing. So, yea I got finish seeing "Dark Blue", and I would have to say it was pretty decent. Any movie that starts off with capping about 5 or 6 motherfuckers, is a pretty decent start. I say it would have to be 4 out of 5 matches for the film. And guess what, yes it does has some nudity, not much like a second or two, but its better than nothing. Plus, she's Asian too, nnnnniiiiiiiiiicccccccceeeeeeee  On to other movie news, "Daredevil" was not all that bad, I was expecting it to be a load of shit, but it actually wasn't. But other than that there really hasn't been that many great movies out.

     And yes I do have to peak on this. What the fuck was Michael Jackson thinking. Well its Mike so that a good excuse as it is. But admitting that you sleep with boys and try to say there is nothing wrong with it. Ummm, sorry to say this Mike but, yes the fuck there is something wrong with that. Ok I know you want to be Peter Pan and all but damn man you don't have to make the boys lost. I mean this world is going to hell, but damn you don't have to make us all sick while we're going there. And hey mike, it your face keeps on rotting off, you should be the perfect mummy if they ever do a third film. Which they probably won't. Cause I could kicked the Scorpion King's ass.

     So, it appears that war is getting closer as we speak. As Bush continues to try to pick up the ball that his dad (dare I say) dropped. See if this was a movie all the U.S. government would have to do is hire a contract killer. Wait I forgot, they can't do that, but we all know they could if they wanted to. Hey here's an idea, you can get Sly Stallon to do it. Or has he fell completely off the face of the earth. Probably fell off but who cares.  But really, I all for peace and what not, and democracy does have its good points, and maybe it has worked for Japan and Germany, but can a bunch of nomadic motherfuckers handle a democracy. But yea if some motherfuckers really wanted to take us out all the would have to do is take out Hollywood...............oops. But really let me break this shit down to you, the movie and entertainment industry, brings in quite a bit of money to the U.S. economy, and if someone to destroy that then, they would really it us hard. Which reminds me, if the terrorist would ever destroy Wal-Mart, then you know they would destroy the heart of America. Ah, you like that one, I'm promoting you right now bitch. Where's my money.

     Well to set off with the topic, there are actually 6 million way to die, yep there's probably more that I can create but hey who said I would ever need them, well to take of this one...........................well I better not talk about. But yea there are plenty motherfuckers that I would like to take of. And I say this, hell would have no fury like the sick thoughts of Sin. But yea if you think about the many ways to fucking kill yourself, accidently killing yourself, having people kill you, having people accidently kill you, etc.... I mean there are just so many its kind of cool. But hey only a sick motherfucker lick me would understand, and respect the ways of death. And if I'm the only one then so fucking be it. Yall stupid ass motherfuckers wouldn't even be able to touch my level. So rot in hell and burn in my piss, eat my vomit, and have your mom suck my dick while taking a 40 bottle up the ass. Wow that was sick, what the fuck was I thinking, you know I was just kidding, no I wasn't............................yes I was.

     And to leave you with one last note. Roy Jones Jr. is the fucking shit. To jump up to the heavy-weight division like he did and take the title from Ruiz, he is un-fucking-stoppable. I hope we get to see his ass take on Lewis in the future, that would be a PPV spectacular. And no you can't come over to my fucking house and watch motherfuckers.

     Well I think this is going to do it for this fucking time. I'm getting kinda tired talking to yall motherfuckers. So wise up for next time. Maybe you will understand me a little bit more. So suck my motherfucking cock, and fuck off, oh yea I want your bitches numbers. Peace easy.

2/21/03

I’m Promoting you right now

So look how about a brand spanking new column for the new look. So look this is how today’s column is going to get down. I got a few points to makes, and few things to say. First and foremost, cause a true man would do this, I like to pay my respects to the crew aboard the shuttle Columbia so at this time I would like to pay a minute of silence or dots to pay respects to them.………………………………………….

……….. Well now that we have had our minute, lets get down to business. It seems that war is reality these days. Looks like the US is going to go kick some ass again. Whoo-hoo, now I am all for blowin shit up. Hell its what I like to do in my spare time. But whatever the case maybe, its back to the desert we go. Its funny if you think about it like this. A son has to the job that his father couldn’t. I mean I really think that Bush Sr. would have won the 92 election if he had really fuck Saddam’s world up. I mean put that bitch 6 feet in the dirt. True, Clinton didn’t do so well, and in let Bin Laden slip through his fingers. But hey what can you expect from a guy head while he’s on the job. Yea there were probably more than just Monica, but hey who wouldn’t take a blow job in the oval office. Shit if I was up in there, I have bitches suckin and fuckin, while I got the prime minister or president from where ever. Shit I would have them hookin up if they wanted. Have the shit like “Hey Prime Minister Sharon, I know we lost your boy on the shuttle, and I’m sorry. So here’s my boy Nastee, he’ll get you any bitch you want, and take you to the Boom Boom room in the basement, and if you need any of that Israeli green, stop by the DEA and pick you up whatever ya need, remember just holla at ya boy.” See if that were the way things were handled in world affairs, shit would be cool then. Everyone would be cool with America, no one would try to fly planes into our building, or spread biological agents. And with dealing with world affairs suck as disputing countries. Just handle it as this, get one president with the other and about 10 bitches and a pound of that dank. Ssssshhhhhiiiiiiiittttttttttt everything would be gravy. But hey I don’t dominate this country, and that’s not how shit works.

            On to other notes, tonight was hell out at the theater. I mean damn, motherfuckers coming out there hitting my boy Jon-Jon with a beer can. I mean why he did he go on and do something like that, huh Nastee? I mean I guess motherfuckers don’t know how we do things out there. What happens to one of us out there happens to family, and everyone knows what happens when you fuck with family. Shit dog, if you ever read this, just to let you know, cause we don’t blindside motherfuckers, you have just signed you death warrant. Now I ask you, what kind of tombstone do you want? I mean my boy has already called “Da Creek” on you and I was there when he talked to the Jamaicans about your ass, and we know how the fuck they run the damn thing. I mean dog, I don’t think you know what kind of kingpin shit, you have done ran across. I mean it’s bigger than Michael Clarke Duncan. But that’s all I’m going to speak on that.

            As the business industry progresses we all have to sit and wonder how they all mighty AOL pulls a “how in the fuck,” when they lost $100 BILLION in their stock, and as reported Ted Turner steps down as chairman. Well sounds like Ted has wasted a little more money than what he thought on something. Just really ask your self what in the fuck happen. I mean how in the hell do you just lose $100 billion damn dollars, its too fucked.

            On to entertainment these days, the anticipated Jason vs. Freddy is just seemingly more disappointing with every article I read about. Not only are they doing a fucked up twisted plot, they also are adding the Destiny Child singer Kelly Rowland, now that is a fucking dilemma. As it also appears that the sequel to “The Fast and the Furious” has now got an official site and an official title. The highly anticipated but highly over-rated sequel shall be called “2 Fast 2 Furious” which I think blows balls. If you can’t wait here’s the basic jizz (and the whole movie will be nothing but jizz). Paul Walker, reprises his role as former officer Brian whoever. And supposedly he is being tracked by the feds, which leads him down south.   That’s all I’m letting you in on, and that’s just about as much time this movie needs to be spent on. It seems that everyday there is a new sequel and they just keep on getting worse. Just remember the words of Eminem “I’m promoting you right now” So now I have to ask you, what happens when you get Dr. Dre and Eminem to produce your debut album. You get 50 Cents new hot shit, and trust me it is hot as the fires of damnation. Em rips the tracks that he is featured on, with Nate Dogg on one track. Shady and Aftermath records do have a potential artist here. I guess you will find out, until then 50 Cents is on my top 10 artists right now. And for any of my freaks who want to know what my top 10 are. I’ll run down the list for you, if goes as followed in no particular order. Eminem, 50 Cents, Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, Jay-Z, “Poster Boy” Shaheed” the new Asian man for the Ruff Ryder camp Jin, my man Kurupt, Krayzie Bone, and we can’t forget to holla at our boy Lil Wayne. As many of you are now probably thinking, who in the hell are a couple of these people  Well I’ll let you in on them. Jin is the next generation of people from the Ruff Ryder camp, and as far as I can tell, he’s a hell of a lot better than the first generation. He also was the champ for many weeks on 106 and Park Freestyle Fridays on BET.  Now I have heard it all from this cat. Shaheed “Poster Boy” busted out with one of the greatest movie scores of the 90’s, the movie itself made the blockbuster list, but the theme did so as well. I won’t give you any specific movie or the score. I’ll just say go and download “Jurassic Harlem” by Poster Boy and you’ll hear for yourself and I think by now you know what you’re about to get into.

Well I’m done with this, its over and I’m thru with it. Sorry there weren’t as many curses in it as I would like. I am “trying” turn my life around, but very slowly 1 degree at a time. Remember “Diesel plays ho’s like music chairs, as long as they suck dick and swallow pubic hairs.” What the fuck am I doing, peace I’m out, this shit is just was too easy.

01/28/03

Vice Versa

Today’s column raises a very good topic about religion and they way thoughts are implanted to you goddamn head every single day. The world in itself tells you to be a certain way, act a certain way, believe thing are for the good when it seems the fucking worst. And when the things that make us the happiest are the things that are either outlawed or look upon as “SIN’S”. Well I ask this now to everyone who can think for themselves, what if the right things “good things” were actually bad things, and the wrong things “bad things” are actually in their own right good. And I will tell you the truth. I thought of this one day while I was listening to this song called “Vice Versa” by Pastor Troy (IF you haven’t heard it, you need to check it out, make you think bout shit.) Yes I will admit I was high at the time so excuse me. I’m sorry, no not really but made you feel better though, right? So here it is, I’ll let you read the lyrics and you van make your own judgment. So enjoy because after this, when I come back I won’t be as nice.....I think....Puff....Puff.....Puff:

Vice Versa(This song here’s called god damn vice versa its like....) Picture everything you thought was good is really bad everything bad was really
good what if heaven was on earth. Nigga the whole world vice versa
vice versa this shit here god damn goin on get you a phat ass blunt of that dro
smoke that shit its all vice versa look up in the air nigga we rich nigga its
vice verse i know all you real niggas gunna feel this shit)

What if heaven was hell and vice versa
If I told ya go to hell would ya tell I cursed ya
I reimburse ya with the truth so ya know my faith
and pray I die im that nigga that they love to hate
i wanna make you use your mind
god has sent the sign
and when you listen to these rhymes nigga take your time
again I ask heaven was hell an vice versa
would ya start doin evil in order to nurture
the spirit man do you understand there's a war that’s ragin on
an the devils got some ammo too don’t get me wrong but I put my trust off in the Lord
its too corrupt know that god gonna help me blow’em up I gives a fuck
heaven was hell and vice versa
I have no fear
I dun witnessed to much hell right here
lend me your ear be cause the beer we had to pour
for all my niggas hit the devil with 44
payback nigga
my liqour keep me from tryin to enter
battle alone and the deal with all this wickedness
I smoke a zone
know im grown but im still a baby
its vice versa so i guess ill beg Satan to save me
God im confused, confused of all these motherfuckers makin me sick
The Virgin Mary may not fuck nobody
but she is a sick
with the a click of a nasty concubine
its vice versa so she prolly do the whole nine
that nasty ho
I don't know where imma go this christmas
It's Satans birth
I’m gonna try to smoke a pound of weed
to ease the earth
While Jesus equiped with angels and devils equiped with glocks
for god so loved the earth that he blessed a thug with rocks
Wont stop
until they feel me
Protect me devil I think the Lord is tryin to kill me
It's vice versa
Heaven is the low while this doja keep me high
an see the lord almighty nigga im ready to die
my reply for any questions asked the devil made me do it
whose the devil may I ask
its so polluted uprooted from all this stupid shit
see me cremated my adaption to the climate
so glad I made it elated that they gun go to heaven
but do they know heaven may not be the place to go
again I ask heaven was hell an vice versa
the devils demons id be damned if ill let god hurt ya
Follow me.

If this was vice versa
I be an angel cuz I'm a devil
A down south Georgia rebel
A whole nother fuckin level
reminiscing on all the good and the bad that I did
bussin caps an splitting wigs
an servin nigs
an talkin shit
this is vice versa no fuckin commercial
heaven or hell
where do we go
when we die
eternal fire
or the streets of gold
only God know
vice versa

So what do you fucking think? Huh? The wise in the world would contemplate this into meaning. I mean how do we know that the bible wasn’t written by a drunken sheep herder, who decided to write something while he watched over his fucking flock. Or the possibility that it was not written any wear near the time we think it is, it could have been written in the 1400’s by an exile out of a kingdom. I mean who really fucking knows about this shit and I’m tired of shit being placed into the minds of every person in the world. They say knowledge is power but influence is a mother-bitch ass whore type shit.


But look I’m going to break it down to you like a projectionist does a movie, and that fast and non-stop. The fucking government wants to go to war, we have to be the big bad ass on the block, which is already true, but nothing is invincible, that’s already been proven. But in addition to that, they want us to now create a smokeless society. I mean what the fuck. Coming from the south, I know that most of these states were grown on growing tobacco. I mean, are they trying to run us out of business down here. Fuck all that son, this time the South will win. To add to that note if you thought that was a fucking stink bomb, then hold on to your bowl piece b/c this is going to hit you worse than a Sin Diesel special rolled blunt.

The US government is trying to make it a federal crime to buy or sell a M rated game to anyone under 18. Now where the fuck they think they are going with that. I mean with everything in the world today a kid would have to be a fucking retarded pee-brain horse dick sucker to let a video game influence them into doing stupid shit. I mean come on, a goddamn generation or so grew up on video games and now a few kids who are twisted and probably got the idea to do what they did from somewhere else are fucking things up. I mean it doesn’t make sense that going into an actual war would make kids want to join the military to do what: DEFEND OUR COUNRTY and what do they do to defend our country: THEY REALLY KILL MOTHERFUCKERS. I mean to me it seems that a real fucking war would have more of an impact on our kids today than a video game will ever do. Unless some shit like the Matrix pops off, but then we are all fucked so it wouldn’t really matter.

01/17/03

(Attention: Monsieur Diesel alienates Travis with this one....why? The whole Bush thing...Trav has a couple things to shoot back, so check out Trav's quick blurb....here.)




Well....Well....Puff.....Well. I’m back, what a surprise. Sorry for my absent in recent times I do apologize. No, not really but hey got to show my sympathetic side for the ladies. So I’ve been over seas, on a covert special operation by the US military. Yea, mufucka, I ride with the motherfucking Delta Force, bitch. Oops already done told too much. Oh well how you like them apples George W. Bush. Speaking of Bush, before I let you in on my covert operation, I hate the motherfucker. I think he sucks, he blows, no...better yet he blows donkey dong. No he’s a motherfucking Norwegian goat milker. Wait that’s too nice. He is a goddamn Pakistan Penis Pump maker, a Russian Rug beater, and to top it all off I think that these motherfuckers are a goddamn Afghanistan Anal pumper. You fucking faggot. Yep, I’m not being politically correct but hey, neither is Bush. He wants to raise the taxes on the poor and lower them for the rich. Now this really fucking bothers me, but other than that I’m cool with the Texan. Yee-haa, mother-bitch. So back to mission, secretly named “Operation Crotch Burner” But anyway I left soon after writing my last column, I got the call and I had to go. But you know when the US needs a true pimp; I always stand at attention....wait wrong story. But anyway there I was, in the White House, standing next to the Bush daughters, while they were paying me the money for the “jobs” I got them. So there I was in the oral....I mean oval office, and the President handed me a folder containing some information. How little did I know what I was up for. I had to go over to the motherfucking Middle East, with those rag heads who don’t bathe for like a week. Damn that, those were some stinkin summa bitches. But anyway, I set up shop over in Baghdad. I had a so called Japanese whore-house, called Okinawa Orgasms. Yea, technically I was the only one there with Japanese blood, but thanks to my man Heff, I had plenty of bunnies hopping around, most up and down. By the time I left, I think I alone had broken 6 beds and clocked in about 168 hours worth of head. But some how, no one knew I was an American over there...isn’t that something. But hey, I will stand up and be a true American and say that Iraq has some pretty shitty, no very shitty, un-god like shitty marijuana. I remember this one night Saddam came in and I hooked him up with the V.I.P. treatment and what not. He had the best ladies that he could afford. But he broke out a bag as we were sitting there chillin, he was like the “Dis really good shit.” After a few puffs I was like hells naw bitch, this some dirt weed. Man I really thought Saddam boy, Bin Laden, had some good shit. I mean hey we all see the fucking commercials saying buying drugs support terroism. This could be true, in some cases, but mostly the US is making more money off the shit than anyone else. But anyway I had to find out where the biological weapons were at that he was hiding. Well sorry to report there are no biological weapons, I mean hell his manhood isn’t even biological. But anyway I never found out any information, I guess I failed my mission, but hey I got to shit in the ground, bust a few nuts, smoke many blunts, and make that money.


Ok now, since story time is over, and all of you people now know where I have been, lets get down to some business. I don’t like war...I hate war. But I love destroying shit and blowing shit up, its fun, a great pastime. Yep that bring up the good old memories of my childhood, chillin back in the woods, lighting fires, but that was stopped very quickly after the 3 acres of land was burned down behind my old house. It was indeed a marvelous sight. Damn now that I think about it I should have charged people to watch I would have made more than a shit load of money.


Anyway, it does feel good to be back in the booth, yes I do feel at home upstairs in the 100 degree heat, but I will never forget the whores, ho’s, sluts, bitchs, and my real rag head buddies over there. Yes, I still have been keeping tabs back with my peoples and they still are saying that you fucking moronic dumb-ass’s are still not getting the picture of what to do out in public. I mean shit; I think I am going to have to go gangsta on your ass. And come down your block with my motherfucking street sweeper. So I’m sayin, I got what ya need, so just holla at yo peoples. That’s it that’s all you have to do. But seriously, it’s only a few months away I know, but the summer is about to roll around a means blockbuster hits. We got X2, The Hulk, Matrix 2; it’s going to be a pretty big year. SO check it out, I’m actually looking forward to seeing what’s going to blow up and what’s going to simply blow.


Well since war is everywhere, each article from time to time will salute a great war general from the world’s history. They will be the “The Booth Ball Buster or the B3 as I may refer to it”” of the month. And the first B3 shall be, the successor to the Mongolian emperor Kubla Kahn, the brutal and savage Genghis Kahn. (OK time out...Now look I know what you all are thinking, has Sin finally lost it, hell naw, I’m bout to break every single one of you off on some real shit. Remember young padawans: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.) However, Genghis is the one ruler of all time that conquered the most land. (In Ebonics: This motherfuckers was a goddamn kingpin. He was the Kingpin of all Kingpins he had all this shit on lock.) Kahn is now believed to be the first general in history to use biological warfare in time of war. Even if he did not mean to do it or not. It is said during the 1200’s, Kahn and his army carried the plague “Black Death” from Mongolia to some kingdom near the black sea. And as they attacked they hurled the dead bodies of their fellow soldiers into the kingdow with the plague. So then the kingdom had the plague and once they fled to Europe, Europe was infected with it and thus the chain reaction and 25 million deaths. (Ebonics: This motherfuckers invented the biological warfare. He was the man who made the plague speard. And that man killed 25,000,000 heads. Well he actually didn’t kill them he just help spread the fucking disease.) Well that’s the whole damn thing I hope you people enjoyed it.

So look all you motherfucking son of a bitches, this is just to let you all know that Sin is back and is in full motherfucking effizzect. I got whatever ya need man, holla at yo people man, you heard. So until next time or next crime which ever happens first. But until then remember roll them fat, spark and relax, and remember I’m Back.

Peace...never again.....6:32 the only way.....A man should only have 3 women in his life: his wife, his mistress and his ho.......Do or Do Not: there is no “try”...... To be immortal is to live in Hell for eternity, birth and death are the only natural things of life....Die freely, Die passionately, Die young, but always Die with honor........

11/08/2002

Nail In the Coffin

*****Note***** This article that you’re about to read is dedicated to you, well not to you, but to all the fuckers and cunt-wishers in the world, which is about everyone. Except for a select few. I thought I may have under did it with my last one, so I’m going to make up for in this. I’m not that sorry....in fact I’m laughing the lint between my toes OFF. This is the resurrection and you will all bear witness to it.....

Puff…Puff…….Puff………………………..cough…………..If you haven’t already heard, you should know by now. I am the Quintessential Muffstuffer………oops I mean Studmuffin, the baddest ladykiller in Buffalo since O. J. Simpson, the mackaddy of the new millennium, and if being hung is a crime, then I’m “GUILTY AS CHARGED” because the women all know that I’m pretty fuckin’ large. The man who is attached to the creature who last night impregnated your mother. The only man to drive Britney Spears down so many CROSSROADS that she didn’t know whether or not to urinate, defecate, or ejaculate. You know who this is Sin, I’m bigger and better than the TITANIC, because only 400 women went down on the titanic, the one they want to pork when I’m in Buffalo, New York, and when I’m near Niagara Falls, the fountains cum, when they lick my balls, Diesel. Ok…ok I know that may sound a tad bit cocky but really it isn’t. If you want to know the truth I’ve sent more women into orbit in one night than NASA has in their entire life. Now that sounds more like it. Well I would have actually used my real name, but I didn’t want your mom to stalk me

. In the news, we have Ms. Ryder found GUILTY, what a surprise. Bout time that bitch got what came to her. That bitch stood my ass up at Niagara Falls. Fuck that ho, she didn’t shoplift right anyhow, so the bitch didn’t learn that from me. I would’ve went up in there with about 4 nines and a Mack 10 and said thanks. At least you go a back up plan if the cops are called, you’ll have I say, at least, 15 hostages. And fuck New York, bout a year ago you have planes crashing into buildings (no disrespect), now you got the goddamn bubonic plague, and if you can escape from that you've got fuckin' electric razors with bombs in them to blow your goddamn head off. I mean what in the fuck is going on in NY. Shit sounds like someone has done put out a hit on the whole state. Hey I would do it, give me a call at 1-800-URF-UCKD.

Well its time for the holiday season of movies to kick in. First we have The Santa Clause 2: Santa Gets Some Ass. OK I’m all for the whole Santa thing, until I have kids, but this time he has to get married. From what I hear the Jolly ole’ Santa is a true pimp in the movie, in other words he got game. To him I say player stay up. But really think about, when has Santa’s Old Saint Dick seen the light of day. I mean just think about it, being up at the north pole most of the year must cause some major major shrinkage. And what happens if Mrs. Clause gets knocked-up, whats the kids name going to be, we’ve never heard of her having any kids but really has she had her tubes tied all her life, think about it.

Well my dreams could come true soon, not any time soon but sooner than I thought. But anyhow, weed may become legal. Jumps for joy or should I say jumps for J’s. Look...nothing would be greater than to go by the juice store and pick up a pack of joints. Of course I would just go home and break’em up and roll a fatty but hey whatever floats my boat. And yo girl is bobbin my boat right now.

So what is worse than Jason X....well its got to be Freddy vs. Jason. If you have not heard by now the movie is going to blow more than your girl. I mean come on people, first we’re getting an upgrade of Jason...now sympathetic, man this guy starting to change personalities more than a wrestling persona. What the hell is the world coming to. First Titanic 2, then we’ve now got Jurassic Park 4, and Freddy vs. Jason. From an inside source, I really believe that all of Hollywood is fucking up and doing it big.

Well in the upcoming week we’ll being seeing Harry Potter. Well we may actually be seeing the demise of Harry Potter. Since the old wizard died (the actor died) they’ll have to re-cast the part. So the movie will change a little, and the kids in the movie have all ready stated that they were not going to shoot past the third film, so the movie is going to blow even worse, I’m talking about blowing worse than your grandmother with her teeth out.

But in good news, the Matrix Reloaded will be out on May 15, and I do believe this is a first, when the DVD of the second matrix finally drops, we’ll be able to watch the third one. Yes Matrix Revolutions will drop in theaters on Nov. 7, 2003.

Well they have linked the sniper to another shooting in Atlanta, man this dude is getting pinned for every murder that the police can’t solve. Must suck for him, but that’s what you get for sticking a 17 year old boy up the ass.

Well I think this is all I have left in me. Yes your mother has worn me out. I hope everyone has enjoyed my reading, thus my good deed is done for the day, but to those who may have been offended by this in any, I really do send my deepest signs of remorse. No not really. But I don’t care either way, yall just represent another girl, whose cum stain is on my mattress. Because remember this Sin, I’m like the middle of a litter box, because I am always surrounded by pussy, Diesel. Peace Easy and Smoke a Fatty.

11/05/2002

Sin is back In

Well I've out for a period of time now. But I'm back, and I appreciate those of you who have asked where I was. Well to tell you the truth I didn't go anywhere, see shit been fucking crazy in my life right now. But guess what, I am fucking back and my shit is fucking cocked, locked, and I've already unloaded on your bitch..........wait a minute wrong saying. My bad, but any way this is how things are going in my life right now, so sit back, light it up, and be prepared to enter the world of Sin.

Where to begin that is the real question. Well to start off I'm still not getting any fucking respect from any of you stupid ass people. But I guess that’s how things go. And since I'm on "THEATER" subject might as well for me add a few extra notes. When the fuck is you people going to learn that movies start by my fucking clock upstairs, so if a goddamn movies starts early, or late its b/c my fucking clock is messed up, do you get the point. No you don't, but I'll get it through everyone head one day. Plus if you can't see a movie that you want to because you're just a little person and are NOT OF FUCKING AGE. If you're under 18 in NC and decide to go see an R rated movie you CAN'T, will NOT happen. Unless you got children running your fucking ticket sales hmmm wonder where that came from. Maybe it’s my work place. Now nothing against my boss he's a wonderful guy and he's human just like the rest of u and he makes some mistakes. But when you hire kids that don't even know how to drive or can't work pass (cough) 10:00 there is a problem there isn't it, since most movies let out around midnight. I can't blame him, I know what he was trying to do, but I knew it would backfire. So now at work I have to baby sit little fucking kids and that’s not the customers its our own, damn what this world coming to. And ok in defense of my peoples when you ask a 12 year old boy to wait for his pops outside and not in the lobby, b/c his daddy wants to watch another movie instead of with his kid (what happen to father and son bonding hmmm) and then his father comes back and says you disrespected his son. Do you see anything wrong with this, I do.

Ok enough of that. Well you people want to know where I've been. But you fuckers should be glad that I came back. See it’s true that I fell in love. Yes I’m not afraid to admit. That makes me more of a fucking man that your bitch probably wants to get with. And yes I have been dealing with the loss of my love for some time now. Most people close to me this. And now you do, so are you fucking happy, that you are getting close into my personal business. You want more? Well see this is how shit goes. My fuck piece of shit car is fucking up on me every single goddamn day. I just can’t get a fucking break now can I. When you got them motherfuckers who got food stamp and drive a fucking Escalade to the motherfucking Piggly Wiggly. Ya like that didn’t ya. Oh well see for some reason lately I’ve just had an urge to get some pussy. I haven’t gotten any. Because, I’m not a fucking player, nor pimp anymore. I respect women now in all their glory, and pussy juices. Oh yeah I’m back. But yes I’m not afraid to admit, its going on three months since I’ve had a piece of ass, but I wouldn’t mine getting any sometime soon. So if you want me to put my SIN in your GIRLFRIEND, give me a holla (please note: We at Burning Crotch Productions do not accept any numbers for the following: Gay Men, Hermaphrodites, any girl with any kind of STD, anyone under the age of 18 (sorry don’t want to go to jail), and finally DO NOT GIVE ME HER NUMBER IF SHE DON’T TAKE THE COCK DEEP, AND DOES NOT SWALLOW) But really I’ve been busy with my own life and haven’t had time to fuck with yall cum sucker uppers.

I didn’t have much to say for movies lately, haven’t really seen anything to comment on. Well I will comment on the Jackass should be called Car-In-The-Ass. Man that movie has some of the craziest shit I’ve seen. But I recommend that every single one of you pathetic life forms try at least one of those stunts. Maybe you’ll do me a favor and get yourself killed, and save me the time so I won’t have to put up with you fucking fools. Well look I’m out I’ll have some other shit ready later. Peace Easy, and Die Hard, get it?

10/15/2002

8 Mile or 8 Ounces

Well todays title comes from Eminems upcoming movie "8 Mile." Now I know that most of you will flock to see this movie and don't get me wrong I probably will too. Well, probably not, since the theater I work at is not getting it. Maybe thats a good thing, maybe its a bad thing for our corporation but oh well. Maybe Eminem should snap back to reality. Now don't get me wrong I like Eminem, I like his albums. Fuck I have every single one and listen to his songs daily. But Em, come on dog, stick with what you know don't listen to anyone and try to become an actor. Look at DMX and Ja Rule, well Ja Rule isn't really a rapper and he says basically what his music career is MURDA!!!!! Murder to my fucking ears. But seriously the "8 Mile" movie have very good potential, very good potential to suck cocks. So Em did you smoke 8 ounces when you sign on for "8 Mile."

But anyway, I got witness 3 different types of movies this weekend, action, suspense, and a chick-flick. Yes, yes I know you're thinking I'm going soft, but really i'm not, ask your woman I was hard all night. Hmm....thats a good I got to save that one for later use. Well the movies on the list this weekend were (and this is the order from good to bad.) "One Hour Photo" has to be the best movie I saw this weekend, followed by believe it or not "Sweet Home Alabama" even though I almost fell asleep, and finally "The Transporter" which I did fall asleep in. Now I know a chick-flick over an action movie? What have I been smokin, well if you have to know.............nevermind. But I really believe that "The Transporter" could have been a little more better in the plot area. Even though it a great action scenes the lack of plot and the acting in it put me out cold, and the mexicans sitting behind me didn't bring the warmth from mexico either. Have you ever sat through a movie with not only 1 but 3 fucking mexican that love to talk sitting behind you? Trust me its not the perfect scenario to watch a movie nor the perfect smell, if you know what I mean. Now I know if you have read some of my previous articles, you may think I have something against mexicans, but really I don't. Its just that I don't understand a fucking word they say, and you know half the time they're talking about us gringos, thats white people for you non spanish speaking people. Hey I just proved Beavis and Butt-Head is an educational cartoon.

So now on to more stupid ideas. So pop quiz hot shot: What would you list James Cameron as a director? A, B, C, or D list? Huh? I say after announcing that he is writing a script for Titanic 2 he's moved off the A list and is down to about the D list. For those of you who don't know what D list directors are, they are positively the most DUMD ASS directors out there . Come on James, are you trying to figure out how many times you can make the damn boat sink, or how many times you are going to try to bring back Leonardo's acting. And if career. And if my history is correct and I think it is, the fucking dingy only sank once, so how can there possibly be a sequle. So if you want the rating for Titanic 2, I give it the three S's, SHITTY, STUPID, and SACRIFICIAL. How do you turn down Spidey and then decide to write a fucking script on a canoe that sank only ONCE. Does anyone get the picture I'm trying to display. Let me draw it some one, put it on word everyone should understand. The Titanic sank ONCE only ONCE, if the ship went down ONCE how can it go down again. Damnit, you motherfuckers better see the goddamn picture now. So if this movie makes what the first did, I now will realize there are only a select few INTELLIGENT people left on earth and the rest of the cock suckers are just taking up the smart people oxygen.

One last note, at a theater when the power goes out, its not like we meant to shut the power off. So why the fuck you people think we can control it. We're not fucking god, and if we were god we would probably give you motherfuckers a brain so we wouldn't have to deal with stupid sit like we do everyday. And when you first walk into a theater pay attention to THEIR CLOCKS because thats when the fucking movies are going to start. Not by your watch, not by standard time, but by OUR clocks. get the picture.

Well this is all for now hope you people learned a thing or two. But if you're like most movie-goers probably not. and oh yea if you want to see the UNOFFICIAL teaser trailer for Star Wars Episode 3!!!!!!!! check it out under the movie section at Undisputed Entertainment. Or click here. This it for Sin Diesel until the next crime......oops I mean next time. Peace easy.

10/05/2002

SMOKE UNTIL YOU FUCKING CHOKE!!

Like the title? Well thats what I've been doing while I have been absent from writing these columns (Well maybe thats not all I'm been doing hahahahaha.) But yes that whats been taking up most of my time, well that and a whole lot of other shit that just really isn't yalls fucking business. So don't worry about it, just read what the fuck I write, and if you don't want to read what I write why are you reading this right here. There I bet I got your attention now. So light blunt, drink a 40, or pet Mr. Mushroom head for all I care, just sit back and relax, and don't forget to read.

Well to start things off I watched "Red Dragon" this past Thursday and I very much enjoyed. I thought it was a little more like "Hannibal" rather than "Silence of the Lambs" but other than that it was a fairly good movie, I would give it 4.5 out of 5 blunts. The only problem I really see with this whole Hannibal Lecter movies is when the hell are we going to see him become this serial killer like they talk about. They said he ate people and what not but I can only account for like two or three in these films. Well we all can't have our cake and eat it too, well i guess if you are a lucky son-of-a-bitch you can.

Well let me also tell you little fuckin piss ants who don't really seem to understand theaters. We do not accept food stamps at a theater so why fucking try to give me one. We don't sell any types of food, no....no.... popcorn and candy is not part of the food groups. Remember the theater you go to is not your damn local Taliban-Mart (sorry that was just all too easy.) And must I repeat this, why do you fuck idiots come to the movies and don't know what the fuck you are going to watch. Whenever I go to the movies I at least know what I'm going to watch. And why are you going to go to a movie theater that doesn't have what you want to see, yes we maybe getting it sometime soon but if you don't see it then the theater must not have it. Damn I mean when the fuck are you damn people going to get above the 0.001 scale on the IQ level. That brings me to another point, why are you people going to call the theater office line and ask someone to tell you all he movie showtimes for every single movie. I mean what in the hell are you trying to do, piss me off any more. Look there are these things that you can get from anywhere, they are call newspapers and is you are just too damn lazy or poor to get a newpaper there is a movie line that you can call that is a recording that tells you the rating and times of each movie. This may take several minutes, if that, from your worthless life, but hey you'll more than likely pick a stupid fucking movie that may waste more of your life anyway so whats an extra couple of minutes, eh?

Well I told my boy I'd do this for him and give him shout on my column. What is up wit ya Undefined Steel a.k.a. Mr. Marc-Man. When we going to go smoke another 30 minute long blunt, eh? For those of you who haven't figure this out yet, I enjoy smoking that sticky-icky-icky. Got problem with it, huh? Well I don't, it help me through some pretty rough times, but yet its made some really rough times too, I guess it balances out. But hey nothings wrong with waking up in the morning, rolling over and lighting a fat one up is it. Nope theres nothing wrong with that. The only problem I see with smoking that funky green shit, is that it is not legal, therefore its a pain in that ass when you get caught. See we could relieve alot of Americas pain and suffering if we just make it legal. So show some support for your weed man and do whats possible in your hood to make it legal. Hey they may stop a few of us, but they can't stop us all.

Well I thing that will about do it for this time. So my last thoughts of the day would have to be. Pray for the world, we're all going to hell. Being middle class is hell, so we're already use to it. Roll it, spark it, and inhale it, thats the way to go. And remember mix 1 gram of baking soda for 7 grams of coke. Every moment is another chance. Well I'm out time to roll another one, so this Diesel for another one. Peace easy.

9/26/2002

TIME TO DRAW THE FUCKING BATTLELINES!!

Guess who's back........back again........Diesel's back........with some hemp........roll it fat..roll it fat..roll it fat.

Well I'm back....and you're probably wondering what fucking war am I going to. Iraq? Palestine? India? Nope none of that.....I'm going to war on Hollywood, guns blazin'. Why? you may ask, and well its not just because I didn't get the part of Anakin in Star Wars Episode II (Bad mistake George, by picking Hayden...how can that pussy become the baddest asthmatic in the universe?), but its because all the fucking pen pushers who are not on the frontlines pleasing the paying customer or even beating up some of the customers, or even putting a bullet through one of the cus...(Better not tell that one)
Thats right you overpaid fags ( thats right...I said fags...got a problem with that you fairy fucks?) b/c half you mofo's really are fags.....and how do i know? Well its simple.....why the fuck you make bad movies or movies that you try so hard to hype up but really don't do shit?...Use your fucking brains. Give the people what thy fucking want, it sooooo easy: Sex, drugs, and violence.....BOOM!!!!.... fuckin' blockbuster hit right there (Damn I should start screenwriting). But they probably got to many cum shots in their eyes to realize this. But hey I'm just a projectionist what do I know.

Well for all you shit eaters: I do know how to fuck up your movies and cause people to get they're money back. And with today's society, I can assemble a group group of movie goers tougher than the A-Team so quick, to just fuck you over right then and there, then what? Well I'll tell you what....will probably see Steven Segal working at Taco Bell (then i'll run away from the border, especially if he does akido while making my burritos) and Mark Wahlberg chillin with Jermaine Dupree and his 14 year old crew (as waiters at Chucky Cheese).

And Vin Diesel? What can I can I say, well I can say that he definetly needs to go back to a high school drama class and learn to fucking act. But come on...Keanu Reeves the next Superman? (thats right not a typo), all I have to is that he better live in the damn Matrix for the rest of his life.

Ok heres a tip I decided to give you worthless monkey spankers, when you decided to drink before going to see a movie (and i'm not talking a fucking cola), you really shouldn't eat any popcorn while you're at the theater...you'll make more of a mess then you already fucking do, plus you're breath will be smelling like shit and piss, so how you expect to get any afterwards? Think about it numb nuts. And oh yea when you buy a ticket REMEMBER the number of your theater will be on your ticket (usually the biggest number up there so why ask....you only confirm to us that you're a fuckin ass monkey) plus the ticket office says it to you at least twice (are you just too lazy to fuckin' listen?), so if ya SO SO DEF then bitch get a hearing aid. Plus, if you drop someone the fuck off and then come back and you don't see them, then how the fuck am I suppose to know where the fuck they are (umm yes sir, we put ankle bracelts on everyone that comes in ehre now, so lemme start shocking him and find the theater of the guy who's screaming his balls off....gimmie a second). So to get to the fucking point we're not the government, or the CIA, nor the FBI, so we do not know where the fuck anyone is in the movies (and even if we were THEY can't even find Bin Laden....). But if someone does hassel us enough to where we go look for them, they expect us to shout in every theater. HELLO??? there is a fucking movie playing, are you going to be the one to give everyone their money back? HELL NO, who's going to do it? ME!!!!! Do I feel like giving 200 motherfuckers their money back b/c you yell out to find someone in the movie? FUCK NO, and then its going to turn out that the person you are looking for isn't in that movie, but has his ass at home watching the Rosie O'Donell Show (sorry Caroline) or the fucking Anna Nicole Smith Show while it's little fireman time.

That brings up a good question, how can a woman who was so thick in 1994 go to be a fucking albino elephant 2002, i mean goddam that woman's huge (ladies that what plastic surgery and birth control can do when combined together), oh yea I forgot the man she was married to was like 110 years old, the fucking viagra probably gave him a heart attack (No ladies that isn't saying go marry an old man and give him viagra until he has a heart attack so you can get his fucking money....thats dirty). But its different with guys....if an 80 year old woman came up to a young guy who's got 1/1000 of a brain cell and says this, "Why don't you give me a play, so we can brak it down the Long Beach way, and if you give that ok, I give you all my love today, Money Money Money can't you see somehow your angry just hypnotize me and I just love your shady ways, Money Mon my love is here to stay." So what should the guy say, well its simple not a few words any jackass (Hi I'm Jonny Cockville, and welcome to WAX THAT ASS...how would you like it? Lubed or RAW??) would say, "And with your wrinkled pussy I can't be your LOVER!!!!!"

Well i'll be nice for a minute here and tell all you people that have 0% game what so ever check out Sweet Home Alabama, it'll be a nice chick-flick (but at least you'll be able to check out Reese Witherspoon) and may even get you laid (of course i'll be next to projector number 4 getting head.....but oh well, nothing new). Save yourself some college money and don't even attempt to see Tuxeedo, b/c what do you get when you put together a hot bitch (and love is a perfect middle name) and the world most biggest dumbass (who's only benefit to a movie is they have to hire one less stuntman, sorry I know I said I would be nice but, I also said I was going to war with Hollywood Bong!!!) A dumbass movie with a hot bitch thats what you get, but its not even that good b/c she ain't gettin naked...sorry folk's (try the fake pics on the internet, it may be better than the real package.) Since we're on nudity (yes I'm laying on top of a porn star named Nudity) XXX the movie with Vinnie "the skinnie sac" Diesel...there is nothing, absolute nothing in the movie to be called XXX, besides the code name they give him or the crappy henna tats on "The Sacs" body. Whats up with that?

Oh and Britney Spears in Crossroads, (Forget what Steve Buscemi said in Con Air, this could be the true defenition of irony....) could this be a crossroad in Britney's life where she may be (should I dare imagine) BI-SEXUAL!!!!! (I'm sorry baby-mama, I never meant to make you cry, but tonight i'll hit you one last time.) Britney Spears and Jenna Jameson star in "Lick Me Baby One More Time...."

Well this will about do it for now. I'm done venting my anger...............for now (and the therapist said I neede to pay $175 per hour, BULLSHIT!!!!) So to all youz guyz that like this, there still at least a few more to come (and I'm not talking about the guys standing in line at the Houston 600). So remember my words of wisdom about going into theaters and what really happens in Hollywood. Finally..... to the haters out there remember I AM THE FUCKING GAME AND I.....AM.....JUST.....THAT.....DAMN.....GOOD. This was striaght from the the booth, with none other than the infamous CUNT-KNOCKER (Bong!!!!), Sin Diesel. Peace Easy

9/24/2002

What the F*@k do you want to see now!!!!!!

Alright you half witted summa bitches. You want the truth about movies and the theaters they play in. Well here it is, the best source you lousy peice of snow shits will probably ever get. I'm a goddam projectionist, I build your little movies so everyone of you can escape from reality for at least a few hours of your worthless lives. And what thanks do I get?...not a single damn thank you or one lousy phone number, or even a fuckin booty call now and then. I mean the fucking illegal mexican that stay down the road from me (oops....sorry chicos) get more fuckin props for being out in the tobacco fields. So listen up, read carefully and remember read one word at a time, don't want you people getting any headaches and blaming them on me.

So heres the deal.....85% of all movies suck ass and theater employees are PAID to tell you its a good movie. If you don't believe me its ok, but...Pop Quiz Hot Shot: How many movies do you own compared to how many movies there are that you can buy? Use your brain on that one.And some of the best movies out there you people probably will never hear of....why is that?

Because you got these people called (and yes I will spell this out for you assmonkeys): M-O-V-I-E C-R-I-T-I-C-S, who get PAID (there's that word again...see a pattern?) to tell you what movies are good and which ones are not. Do you really think they have all this time to sit down and waste their whole lives watching movies to tell you if they're good or not, HELL NO, they're PAID (again that word) by the production studios. Ok heres the deal on the customers, or for people who don't know what movie customers are...its YOU, yes you pay see movies, I get PAID (again the P word) to show you the movies, so if you don't come and see movies, thats one less movie I have to worry about starting. So to all you mofo's who get the bootleg copies and try to make some money until your stokyard gets ran in by the cops....keep up the good work, and I'll see you in about three to five.

But this is for all you people who are honest and pay and support the over paid actors and other people making these fucking movies: Please....I really beg you....please come on TIME (heres another word), now i know i'm not your bitch asking you to come inside............................the theater (what you think I was going to say) but at least get your ass there on time, b/c if no one comes to a movie the movie don't start. If everyone's in line to see Star Wars Ep 2, and no one came to see Spider-Man at 10....and you're fifteen minutes late to see Spider-Man...we're not showing it! Cause if your punk ass comes ten minutes late and I have to start the movie, guess what?.....thats fucks me up for the rest of my shows for the day, and that pisses me off. So the next time you show up to the movies late and you're the only one in there, watch your back because you have just pissed the projectionist off, and thats not good. I've got a nice high angle view on you.

And another thing people saying its to hot or to cold in the theater, can you turn the heat up or can you turn the heat down. Listen up bitches.....the theater is NOT (this is a word we should all know, thus its only going to be big once) your fucking schack you live in with about four other mofo's. Another thing as a projectionist I know there is no possible way to rewind your fucking movie, so there no way we can back the movie up b/c your son had to go to the bathroom, you were busy givin' your man some head, or whatever your stupid excuse may be. I am not a fucking VCR and you are not my fucking remote so don't even ask. And one last thing....do not leave your refreshments in the theater when you leave, there are trash cans all around...how the fuck would you like it if I came in your house, got me a bag of popcorn and a medium drink, and then bounced....sayin' I'll see you tomorrow. You wouldn't like that would you?

This is for all parents who decide to drop their fucking kids off while they go off and fuck in the back of the van: We are NOT the local day care.....we don't keep up with your kids and really couldn't give a fuck less about them as long as they are in the correct movie and are not causing trouble. I am not PAID (I think most of you should get the point by now) to sit there and hold your kids nasty ass hand through out they're movie going to experience. And don't think for one second I won't fuck some little punk ass mama's boy up if he looks at me wrong.

So this should let you know what my new articles are all about. So if you like this....good, you might have a decent head on your shoulders. Oh yea for you movie buffs who don't know this already: May 7, 2004 will be the opening of Spider Man 2, so be there early and if you complain about the long lines even once...you'll hear the prayer from The Boondock Saints.

So from the booth this is Sin Diesel and remember this is an important note: 2014 we're all going to hell in a hand basket and there isn't a mother fucking thing you or G.W. Bush can do about it. Peace Easy

Yo......is it time yet?