M
MAD MAX (*)- this is Mel Gibson's first movie, and it has to be one of the worst I have ever seen. The only reason I gave it one star was because of it's comedic value. It's actually so bad that it's funny. I don't know if MST3K ever did this movie, but man, they should have.
MAD MAX: BEYOND THUNDERDOME (**1/2)- a much better movie than the origional "Mad Max", but that isn't saying much. Still a confusing plot, still bady written, and still poorly acted, but this time with a much larger budget. It's one of those movies that would be cool if it were just a little bit better, or a little bit worse. As it is, though, it's just boring.
THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE (*****)- the Coen brothers... I don't even know what to say. "Fargo", "The Big Lebowski", and "O Brother Where Art Thou" established them as modern filmmaking geniuses, but "The Man Who Wasn't There" elevates them, in my mind, to legends. This latest film, starring the ever-intriguing Billy Bob Thorton as an almost inhumanly steril 1950's barber, is a masterpiece in every way. Shot beautifully in black and white, the first thing one notices about the film is its visual style. The only other movie I can think to compare it to is "Citizen Kane"... both films used the lighting and the framing of the picture so expertly that every shot could be a still-life photograph. This is especially appropriate in "The Man Who Wasn't There" because the film revolves around a man so quiet and detached that it is almost as if he himself is just a photo... not a real person, but simply the image of a real person. Like several of the Coen brothers' other films (most notably, "Fargo") "The Man Who Wasn't There" watches with a darkly comedic eye as one seemingly harmless lie spirals into a series of increasingly horrible events which eventually rip apart the lives of normal people. What sets "The Man Who Wasn't There" apart, however, is that it does all of this so much better than in those previous films. The writing is tighter, the characters are more intriguing, and the visuals are far-and-beyond anything else the Coens have done. The actors are all perfectly cast, and there isn't a weak performance in the film... Frances McDormand, James Gandolfini, and Scarlett Johansson (who, despite her name, is one of my favorite actresses... you might remember her from Ghost World) create vivid characters to play off of the stoic Billy Bob Throton. Also, look for the guy from the Del Taco commercials... he plays the "new" barber, the one who talks too much, and at one point makes a passing refrence to chicken. As if the film needed to be better... they throw in the Del Taco guy. It's perfect.
THE MATRIX(***1/2)- an action/adventure sci-fi flick loaded to the brim with rockin' visual effects. Unfortunatley, as nice as the movie looks, the plot wears a bit thin toward the end and leaves you thinking, "What was the point of that?". It's still a damn cool film, though; the effects alone are worth the price of admission. Give it a whirl.
MEET THE PARENTS (***)- contrived, pointless, predictable, but occasionally funny, "Meet the parents" is a movie which is sure to gross millions of dollars. Starring Ben Stiller (of "Something About Mary" fame) and Robert DeNiro (of much deserved fame) the movie focuses on a happy couple who spend a weekend with the girl's crazy parents. You've probably seen the previews. There's a lie detector and a cat and stuff, and yes, he eventually sets the front yard on fire. Ha ha. No, I'm making it out to sound worse than it really is. The movie is quite funny in some points, especially when Ben Stiller goes to the airport near the end. Never mind. You'll probably see it eventually.
MEN IN BLACK II (***)- at one point in this movie, Agents K and J (played, once again, by Tommy Lee Jones and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air) find themselves in a car which can fly. Instead of a steering wheel, the car is manuevered by using what is clearly a Playstation controller. Was this some kind of ironic nod to the audience on the part of director Barry Sonnenfeld? Indeed, watching Men in Black II is essentially like playing a video game. It's entertaining, colorful, fast-paced, and absolutley pointless.Not that that's a bad thing. Quite the contrary: it's exactly what Men in Black is all about, and I feel safe in saying that the sequel does it just as well as the origional. Here's the plot: Agent K (Jones), who was "neuralized" (meaning he forgot about everything he did as a Man in Black) at the end of the first movie, is the only person on Earth who can help Agent J (Smith) save the Men in Black headquarters from an evil alien disguised as Lara Flynn Boyle. There are several scenes involving J helping K to remember things about his past life, several scenes involving a romantic subplot between J and a woman who witnessed an ailen murder, and several scenes involving J and K shooting aliens with big shiny guns. Most of those scenes involve jokes, some of which are funny.
Will the majority of people enjoy Men in Black II? Yes. Based on just the opening week, it's already shaping up to be one of the most popular films of the summer, thanks in part to a huge Forth of July Weekend opening, and I'm sure that many of the people who went those first few days will go back again. It's a good summer movie. Check it out, if you've got eight bucks and nothing better to do for an hour and a half.
SKINNYNOTE: My favorite line? "It rains because you're sad, baby." If the whole script had been written like that, I'd be lining up to see it again.
THE MEXICAN (**1/2)hola. This movie was not muy bueno. In fact, it kind of el suckoed. The plot involves Brad Pitt going to Mexico to retrieve this historic gun, and his annoying Julia Roberts girlfriend getting abducted by James Gandolfini. Now, I have never actually visited the great country of Mexico, but I sincerley doubt that it is at all like the place depicted in the film. For example, I doubt that eveyone speaks english so well. Or that everyone who lives there is such a colorful character. The Mexico of "THe Mexican" is more like a Disney version of that entire country. Additionally, the film's "other" plot involving Julia Roberts and James Gandolfini (who's last name is fun to say) is not very interesting. And some parts of it even seem slightly derogatory toward homosexuals, but I won't get into that right now. I don't mean to soud so negative. As with most things in life, there are good aspects to "The Mexican". The soundtrack, for example, was not all that bad. And the acting is all right also, especially James Gandolfini as the kidnapper. The movie's main problem is, though, that practically all the characters are thuroughly unlikeable. The Julia Roberts character is really, really mean and annoying, and the Brad Pitt character is a pretty dumb, wimpy guy. So it's hard to get interested in their "romance" since it's a.) involving two people you don't like, and B.) pretty implausible. Ugh. Maybe I just wan't in the mood for romance or somethig. Me and the few people I went with were litereally the only ones watching the movie. Not without reason. Unless you're a serious Julia "Here's MY Oscar" Roberts or Brad "I Was in Fight Club, Which Was an Awesome Movie" Pitt, I would not suggest this movie. Hoy-YAAAY!
MINORITY REPORT (****) (Revised from ***1/2)-the year is 2054, and murder is practically nonexistent in our nation's capital thanks to the special "Precrime" police unit which uses three psychics to predict and stop killings before they even take place. The leader of the Precrime unit, a man named John (played by Tom Cruise), believes wholeheartedly that the system is foolproof until one day it predicts that he will become a murderer, and he is forced to run from everything he knows. Minority Report, directed by Steven Spielberg, begins with interesting promises but eventually wanders astray. Rather than being an interesting examination of the moral and legal implications of stopping a crime before it happens, as it seems it will be in the first twenty minutes, the film instead slips into the usual grind of a Hollywood action flick. Instead of getting a discussion on fate and destiny, we get The Fugitive with a makeover. It is so evident that the film could have been so much more if Spielberg had been willing to take a few risks that it is almost sad to watch. But never mind what could have been.
Visually, Minority Report is awesome. The futuristic world imagined by Spielberg is both beautiful and wretched, torn between technology and humanity. Although it looks as if a lot of the movie was shot on sets left over from A.I., the locations are still like nothing you've ever seen, and yet could so easily imagine. It is not hard to believe that we might someday be staring into retina scanners in order to board a train, given the current technology and concerns with terrorism. It is also not so far-fetched to think that our cars will one day be able to drive themselves, and that the world will be covered with advertisements which can actually speak our names. Though these things are just the backdrops to Minority Report, they add so much to the story that they seem almost like characters in themselves.
Steven Spielberg is, needless to say, an excellent director. His movies have shaped the pop culture of almost three decades now, from Jaws to E.T. to Jurassic Park. His work is always interesting to watch, and it seems as though these days, with the help of computer animation and literally truckloads of money it will only get better. Unless he allows himself to grow, however, he may eventually just fade away. Unless he is able to take some risks, be willing to go deeper with his films, people will stop listening to him. I have this image of a kid with a coloring book, and all the colors in the world in front of him. He can color those pictures any way he can imagine. Until he is able to throw away the coloring book, though, and make something of his own, he will never be a true artist. That's just my prediction.
SKINNYNOTE: All right... I went to see this movie again and, I must say, I enjoyed it much more the second time around. I think I was a bit harsh in my origional review. I still wish Spielberg had taken a little more time to dig into the intellectual side of Minority Report, but, then again, he was making a summer blockbuster that had to appeal to the masses. Which it does very well. Here are some things I noticed, and enjoyed, the second time around: 1.)The opening credits... there are none! How novel. 2.)The product placment... check out the "Starbucks" logos on the Precrime coffee cups and the fact that the assembly line is making, apparently, "Kawasaki" brand cars. 3.)The irony... at one point you can hear a tour guide say, "Yes, being a precog truly is wonderful." 4.)The religious refrences... I especially dig that the prison guard is named Gideon.
All right, that's it for now. Go check out this movie.
MONSOON WEDDING (*****)- beautifully exotic, wildly chaotic, this is far and away the best film I have seen so far this year. The story revolves around two huge, upper-class Indian families as they prepare for to celebrate a daughter and a son's arranged marrige. The film explores the many sides of love through the relationships between its many characters (we see two young lovers stealing a midnight kiss, the tense but loving relationship between father and son, the "forced" love of an arranged marrige, etc.), but, for a romantic movie, never seems cheesy or cliche. The filmwork and incredibly convincing acting (so good that it's almost more like watching a documentary than something that's scripted) help give the movie this sense of realism, making it entirley engrossing. When I walked out of the theater, I sort of had to adjust to my surroundings... for two hours it had seemed as if I actually wasin India. The thing I found especially interesting about this movie, though, was that it was as much about the changing culture of India itself as it was about a wedding. People yell into modern cellular phones while wearing the elaborate, traditional garb of an Indian wedding. Even the music suggests that the country is on the brink of changing from the ancient ways to a modern era, as it fades from the twangy sounds of a sitar into a pumping techno beat. I highly suggest that you see this movie NOW while it is still in theaters. It is the type of film which is so huge, colorful, exotic, and engrossing that it will undboubtedly loose something when transferred to the small screen. Check it out.
MOULIN ROUGE (****)-yeah, it's a musical. Which is suprising to begin with, given the current cinema scene. I can't even remember the last musical that came out in theatres. Maybe it was that Woody Allen thing. In any case, "Moulin Rouge" is a musical, and not only that, but it's a pretty cool musical. It's big, it's clorful. It has huge, obvious, nobel themes. It's shot in intersting ways, with crazy visual effects aplenty. It actually reminds me a lot of a music video, but, of course, much longer, and more professional. The plot is a rather strigtforward romance which revolves around a poor writer (Ewen "Trainspotting" McGregor) and a beautiful dancer (Nicole "Didn't I Used to be married to Tom Cruise" Kidman). The dancer works at a place called "The Moulin Rouge", which is esentially a big French night club/brothel. The movie is set in Paris, if I forgot to mention, around the turn of the century. Anyway, it's a very good movie, although the ending through me off a bit. I won't give it away, of course, but... I don't know. It was just so much different, in tone and everything, from the rest of the movie. Yeah. The songs are good pretyt much all around. I enjoyed the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" segment of the film, although it made me wonder if Kurt was spinning in his grave. In any case, I would definatley suggest this movie, een though there were some things that could have been done better. See it, if for nothing else, because it is a musical and who knows how long it will be until another one comes along on the big screen?
MULHOLLAND DRIVE (****1/2)- David Lynch's "Mulholland Drive" is the cinematic equivalant of a Bob Dylan song; it looks cool, sounds cool, and you feel cool watching it, but it makes no sense. Well, not exactly. It makes the same kind of sense a Dylan song makes: if you analyze it enough, eventually you'll probably be able to hammer out some meaning, but it'll be convoluted and personal. This is a movie that will mean something different to every person who watches it. Personally, I saw it as a statment about superficiality masking real human fears, and the loss of dreams... but that's just me. It will undoubtedly mean something else entirley to you. The aspect of this film that I found the most intriguing (and there are a lot of intriguing aspects to it) was the style of acting. Stunted and monotone, the characters speak as if they are nothing more than living manequins (or, as is suggested in one scene, tape recordings with bodies). Though this might sound unappealing, the effect is one I've never seen in any other film... by being so slow and mechanical, the drama becomes surrealistically intense. In the same way that a reptile is frightening because it remains so still, the actors draw you simply because of their methodical pacing. The music, which sounds a bit like new-age eighties electronica, and the silences in the film, are effective in transforming the sunny streets of Los Angeles into a disturbing nightmare world. My only complaints with this movie have to do with the fact that, especially about three-quarters of the way through, it gets to be a bit too heady for its own good. What started as a movie linking bizarre, intriguing scenes together with a twisted plot eventually runs off its tracks and turns into a gobbeltygook (to use the technical term) of colors, sounds, and images which are more confusing than they are interesting. If "Mulholland Drive" had only been able to rein itself in a bit if could have been an extrodinarily amazing film. As it stands, it is simply extraordinary.SKINNYNOTE: After discussing this movie with some friends (Julia and Racheal) who are apparently way more hip than I am, I now have a better understanding of the plot. Of course, there are still a few things none of us quite get yet (what's the deal with the dude who jumps out from behind the dumpster, who looks like a caveman? And what about that creepy cowboy?) but here's a tip... think of the whole first part of the movie (up until when the woman gets sucked into the box) as a dream. It might make more sense that way.
THE MUMMY RETURNS (**)- not a good movie. Interestingly, I saw this with the same people I saw "The Mexican" with, which was another movie I was not too fond of. Maybe they bias me. I doubt it though- this movie was pretty lame no matter who you're with. Sure, sure, you can drone on about the special effects. You can talk about all the computer animation, and the numerous (perhaps too numerous) action sequences. Even the acting wasn't all that bad, considering the parts the actors were given. But the problem with this movie is that it has no discernable story. No plot. I mean, I guess there is one, but it's all kind of jumbled up and confusing, especially given the context of the movie. The movie was basically made to show Brendan Fraiser and some other people fighting with computerized monsters. It's a simple. So, by that token, the plot would also logically be very simple. And maybe it is. Maybe I'm missing some huge thing. Maybe I'm really, really dumb, but almost the entire plot of the movie was lost on me. It has something to do with this gold braclett thing which projects movies of Egyptian cities and this mythical army of dogs that is made out of black sand, and then there's this other thing with a professional wrestler, but he's also like a huge scorpian kind of thing, and this hot air balloon and all these vicious little creatures that live in a forest and kill people, and then there's a bunch of fighting and shooting and some things blow up or catch on fire, or a combination of the two, and there's some lady with a weird haircut, and some other lady who I guess is supposed to be attractive but really isn't, and this annoying little kid who looks like a leftover from Star Wars but with a British accent, and the comic relief which comes in the form of Brendan Fraiser's brother in law, or uncle, or cousin or some sort of thing, and these weird Arab guys who carry machine guns and wear red cloaks and shoot at stuff but never hit anything, and then after hours and hours of all this, and countless action sequences, including one with a big wall of water which was pretty much ripped off exactly from the first Mummy movie, and after hours and hours you finally get to the credits and you're like, "What was that? What happened?". At least, that's how it seemed to me. Pro wrestler "The Rock" plays "The Scorpian King" in this movie, if you're interested. He dosen't really have any lines, but he yells a lot, sometimes in what is supposed to be a foreign language. Maybe it is, I don't know. I don't study Egyptian or pro wrestling. He has a lot of really exaggerated facial expressions though. I guess you need that when you're out in the ring. Anyway, I would not see this movie again. I don't think you should see it either.
MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO (?)- I’m sorry about the ambiguous rating I’ve given this film, but, really, I have absolutely no idea what to think of it. “My Neighbor Totoro” is a Japanese anime movie made for children, and it comes from the same person who directed “Princess Mononoke” (which is certainly a good film). There’s really no plot to speak of, but I will try to summarize as best I can: two young girls move to a house in the country with their father. Their mother is in the hospital, afflicted with some unknown illness which seems to have no effect on her other than making her have to stay in the hospital. The two girls are rambunctious and spend a lot of time running around and yelling. Then one day one of them falls down a hole in the woods, and meets Totoro, the so-called “spirit king of the forest”. He’s kind of like a humungous hamster who can fly, and communicates by emitting incredibly loud belching sounds. He smiles constantly, and never blinks, giving him the appearance of a house-sized plush doll. The kids run around and yell some more, and play with Totoro, who helps them grow an enormous tree in the middle of the night. They meet a huge, creepy-looking “cat bus”, who is essentially just that: part cat, part bus. He has twelve legs and, like Totoro, can fly. There’s really no conflicts in the movie (except for a brief period of time when the smaller of the two young girls gets lost), but the reason we keep watching is to see what sort of bizarre creature will appear next. As I said previously, the movie is aimed at children, which seems about right: the characters are all huge, brightly colored, and energetic, which I’m sure would please smaller kids, and the story is nothing that you need an attention span to keep up with. Personally, I found a lot of “My Neighbor Totoro” to be a bit frightening, especially the sequences with the cat-bus. But that’s just me.
escape...
Email: dumbsweater@aol.com