A member of Parliament to Churchill: " Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Churchill, "whether I embrace your policies or your wife." " He has delusions of adequacy." - Winston Churchill " He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."-Winston Churchill " I have never killed a man, but have read many obituaries with great pleasure."-Mark Twain " He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - Winston Churchill ( about Ernest Hemingway) " Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Winston Churchill to Ernest Hemingway " I didn't attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain " He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Winston Churchill " I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill " Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second night....if there is one." - Winston Churchill in response " I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." - Mark Twain " I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Winston Churchill " He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Mark Twain " He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Mark Twain " He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in other." - Winston Churchill " Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it." - Mark Twain " His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mark Twain " Some bring happiness wherever they go; he brings it whenever he goes."- Winston Churchill " He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination." - Mark Twain " I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." - Winston Churchill