Well, you asked for it, so here's my story;
Ever since I was 18(in 1971), I would have these
occasional attacks of lightheadedness, and feeling I
was going to pass out. I was scared to death! Of
course the doctors said it was "anxiety" or
hyperventilation. Sure, if you are scared enough,
you
will have anxiety and maybe hyperventilate.
This
happened maybe 10 or 12 times in the next ten
years.
I started having tinnitus(ringing in ears) in 1981.
I
didn't do too well on my annual hearing test at
work.
I was having episodes of lightheadedness,
and feeling "strange". When I went to an ENT, he
said
it was very typical of Meniere's, and gave me
bellergal. A month or so later, I was still having
the lightheadedness episodes. The ENT said, "There's
nothing wrong with you, you'll be fine!"
A few
weeks later I had a terrible vertigo attack, that
lasted about a day and a half. I was sick for about
a
week. Everything sounded
like I was inside a tin can. I went to my family
doctor, and he gave me antibiotics.
It finally
went away. The dizziness got worse, and at times I
would feel sick all over. My family doctor tried,
antivert, Bellergal S, and it went away for a while.
But always came back.
I saw another ENT around
1983. She did allergy testing and I received weekly
injections. Not much help. She did an ENG, and sent
me
to a neurologist because it showed both balance
systems not working too well. All the brain tests
came out normal.
She had me try dramamine. Felt
better for a while. Symptoms would come and go.
Tried 2mg of valium. Felt good for a few months.
Sick
again. I began wondering if this was all in my head.
Was I subconsciously bring this illness on to miss
work or escape responsibility? I would feel so good
for months or weeks, then without warning, I was
really sick again! My remission periods gradually
became shorter and shorter.
This went on till
1987, when I saw a neuro-otologist, Bradley
Thedinger. Dr. Thedinger actually believed
everything I told him. I felt so good about that! He
tried several treatments, that seemed to help for a
while, but maybe it was just the attacks coming and
going on their own.
I missed so much work,
everyone
there thought I was just screwing off! Many friends
and relatives did too!
I went through several
weeks of vestibular physical therapy. I was able to
return to work for a few months.
Finally Dr
Thedinger decided to do a mastoid decompression
operation. This allowed any excess inner ear fluid or pressure to vent.
I felt pretty good for about 4 years. The body's
ability to heal is your worse enemy on this type of
procedure. The inner ear sac tries to heal over and
form scar tissue.
More problems in 1992 and a
subarachanoid shunt operation gave me 2 more years.
After much more testing and evaluation, I
took a disability retirement from my job of 23
years.My balance system has been damaged quite a
bit.
The financial and emotional problems this
can
bring, can ony be understood by someone who has
experienced it! Although my problem was mostly on
the
right side, the left is also affected, so that ruled
out a nerve section or gentamycin type treatment.
It also would not help the terrible pressure or loud
tinnitus. The loud tinnitus can affect the lymbic
brain regions, causing grouchiness, and feeling like
you could just scream, or run your head into a
wall! I notice my powers of concentration, slowly
fading,also.
The only thing that helps is 5mg of
Valium,
and it is no cure. I cope by taking life a day at a
time. I can't do what I used to, but most days I can
still walk for 30 min. I do some yard work and car
maintainence. Of course I have to take a lot of rest
breaks. But I still feel very lucky. It is still
good
to be alive. If I concentrate on living, and taking
care of my family, the tinnitus sort of fades into
the background. When I'm feeling really bad, I lie
down and my wife doesn't ask anything of me.
She
is so good to me! I also recommend a pet. We have a
little rat terrier named Chip. He is so loyal and
loving. He knows when I'm having a bad day, and
stays
with me most of the time. Makes a big difference. A
good dog doesn't ask you for anything. He only wants
your love and attention. And he gives you back, far
more than you could ever give, in return.
Meniere's has taught me, the importance of the
little things in life. My life is one big
thing, that is made up of many many little
things. And I intend to live it to the fullest.
Some days I really have to force myself to get up
out
of bed. When I do, I always feel better, after a
while. If I lie around too much, I really start to
feel bad!
It is all worth it! I hope my story may
help someone that is feeling really bad, mentally
and
physically.
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