If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,
you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries
all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from
the store in a hot car.

The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the
edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.
Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of
the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, isn't
that a balanced diet? Don't they counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives.
Preservatives make you look younger.
Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.