| SIMPLE | REAL |
| A simple friend has never seen you cry. | A real friend has soggy shoulders from your tears. |
| A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. | A real friend has their phone numbers in their address book. |
| A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. | A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean. |
| A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. | A real friend asks you why you took so long to call. |
| A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. | A real friend seeks to help you with your problems. |
| A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. | A real friend could blackmail you with it. |
| A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. | A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself. |
| A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. | A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight. |
| A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. | A real friend expects to always be there for you! |
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