Never give
me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a
deadline is refreshing. If it's really a rush
job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. Or even better,
hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It
gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies,
don't open the door for me.
If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which
is the priority. I am psychic
Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really
have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets
out, it could mean a promotion.
If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to
be popular in conversation.
If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them
down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful
information.
Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no
right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them
late, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could
really change your life.
Tell me all of your little problems. No one else has any and
it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to
pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals
SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase.
I'm not here for the money anyway. |