BSB VS NSYNC MATCH
if ya didn't see Celebrity Death Match wit
BSB vs. Nsync... u'll want to read this...
even if ur not a "boy band" fan, this'll make
u laugh.
*Johnny Gilmore: "Good evening and welcome,
I'm Johnny Gilmore." (second announcer cuts
in)
*Nick Diamond: "And I'm Nick Diamond and this
is CELEBRITY DEATHMATCH!"
*Johnny: "After millions of letters from
viewers..."
*Nick: "We thought what the hell, let's have
Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync duke it out once
and for all!!"
(Stone Cold Steve Austin comes and sits
with Johnny and Nick)
*Nick and Johnny: "Welcome Stone Cold"
*Stone: "I'm just here to watch those pansy
called boy bands tear themselves apart"
*Nick: "Well let's bring them all out"
*Referee: "In the left corner... you know
them from that masturbation video Quit
Playing Games.... BACKSTREET BOYS"
*Crazed fan #1: "Nick Nick Nick Nick!!!!"
*Nick Carter: "Thank you, thank you, I know
you're all here to see me 'cause I'm so darn
hot with my blonde...."
(AJ comes and slaps Nick in the face)
*AJ: "They like me you fag, I'm the one with
the good hair!" (Nick starts whimpering)
*Nick: "Don't hurt me AJ, I love you!"
*Stone Cold: "Shut up you bastards! I wanna
see a fight!"
*Referee: "...and in the right corner... you
know them as the boys that
ripped off the Backstreet Boys...
'N SYNC!!!"
*'N Sync: "Cause we want to kick some ass!"
(in tune with I Want You Back)
*Referee: "I wanna see a fair clean fight...
GET IT ON!!!" (Justin starts coming on to
Nick)
*Nick: "Leave me alone!! Brian help help!!"
*Justin: "I just want your glasses so I can
be just like you Nick!!" (Brian comes and
uppercuts Justin in the face)
*Nick: "Thank you Frick-baby"
*Brian: "Not in public"
(AJ starts pulling Chris by his
dreadlocks)
*AJ: "Why you gotta be like me? Did Donna set
you up to this? Out of all the 'N Sync to
copy off me
why they pick the ugliest?"
(Howie starts yanking JC's hair out of his
head)
*JC: "You're tearin' up my hair, cause you
hate me, and when you yank it out I feel it
too" (in tune to Tearin'' Up My Heart)
*Howie: "I hate that fucking song"
(Kevin starts talking to Lance)
*Kevin: "Me and you should join forces and
start our own group.... I mean they never let
us sing, give us small parts to sing..."
*Lance: "Yeah I just pretend to look good
even though I look albino and no one can tell
the difference!"
(Joey starts pounding Brian)
*Joey: "Take that you gospel boy!! No one
cares about your damn choir you were in"
(Nick jumps on Joey)
*Nick: "Leave my frick... leave Brian alone
you fat ass" (Kevin walks over to Joey and
taps him on the shoulder)
>*Joey: "What, you bullshit boy?"
*Kevin: "He's... my... cousin... I've...
known him.... all my life... he's my...
cousin"
(Everyone stops to look at Kevin and look
at him funny. Then they go back to their
pounding.)
*Justin: "Nick, I love you man!!! Did you
know me and you sing leads? Or that we were
born in the same month??? We're two days
apart, even though I'm a year younger" (Nick
clobbers Justin's nose)
*Nick: "There now your nose is even bigger
than before" (Lance starts prancing around
the ring)
*Lance: "I love to prance... my name is
Lance... I am a hick... Me and Kev got no
dick.."
(Kevin runs over and slams down on Lance)
*Lance: "Hey I thought we are loser buddies"
*Kevin: "But my bulge in the Quit Playing
Games video was so big! Why you gotta go say
I got no dick?"
(Two balled up socks fall from Kevin's
pants)
(Kevin's eyes dart left to right)
*Kevin: "Hey... where... did... those...
two.... socks... come... from?"
*JC: "Hey everyone look at Howie's chiapet
hair"
(JC points to Howie's curls and the
audience laughs)
*Howie: "Hey everyone what does JC stand for?
JUST CRAP!!" (The audience starts booing)
*Crazed fan #2: "HOWIE SUCKS WE WANT NICK,
NICK, NICK!!!" (Just then 98 degrees and 5ive
enter the ring)
*Backstreet Boys: "Who the hell are you
guys??"
*'N Sync: "Yeah we're suppose to be the
copiers of BSB, NO FAIR!!"
*5ive: "We're 5ive... we're ugly British
Spicegirls wannabes. But we had a sex change
to men... cause Boy bands are ruling"
*98: "We're just some guys.... we have one
good song.... we don't know why were here....
one of us is cute... and the others are just
there"
*Crazed mob of fans: "Hey look new
boybands... they're pretty hot... lets get
them"
(A hundred girls run into the ring and
tear apart the 98 degrees and 5ive)
*Crazed fan #1: "I got his hand!!!! I am
gonna sleep with it forever!!"
*Crazed fan #2: "I got someone's ear!!!!"
(The mob frantically grab all the body
parts they can and run back to their seats.)
*AJ: "Well that was so dope that it was whack
and trippy at da same time"
*Joey: "Hey, I'm the guy that's suppose to be
tough" (Joey rips AJ's hoops out of his ears)
*AJ: "That's reserved for the European fans
you ass" (AJ pounces on Joey and beats the
crap out of him) (Chris quickly superglues
his dreadlocks on to his head) (Aaron Carter
now enters the ring)
*AC: "Hey everybody JUST SHAKE IT"
(Nick looks at him in disbelief)
*Nick: "You little shit, you're trying to
steal the spotlight from me!!"
*AC: "Mom always loved me best... and in 7
years I'll be hotter looking that you!!"
*Nick: "No mommy!!!"
(The audience starts doing the Shake It
dance.) (Nick lifts Aaron up, starts swing
him by the hair and throws him into
the side of the audience
marked "Euro fans only")
*AC: "Nicky!! Noooooo"
(Euro fans begin shredding Aaron to
pieces)
(Hanson runs into the ring)
*Taylor: "We're here to reclaim our best
teenybopper band group title!!"
*Ike: "Yeah... what the cute one said"
*Zac: "I look like the Olsen twins"
*Brian: "No, we have to stay number one!!"
(Brian lunges for Taylor and starts yanking
at his hair)
*Ike: "Not the hair!!! Without the long
blonde locks we're nothing!!"
*Zac: "Hey keebler elf over here!!"
(Brian lunges for Zac)
(Justin all bruised and bloody gets back
up and walks over to Nick.)
*Justin: "You know I'd never dye my hair
blonde like yours!!" (Nick's last punch to
the head, made Justin's head fly over to the
audience)
(Justin's head plops down in some girls
lap)
*Justin's head: "God must of spent a little
more time on you!!!"
*'N Sync hater #1: "Eww 'N Stink"
(She takes the head and squishes it with
her foot.) (Stone Cold, with fury, runs up to
the stage.) (Stone Cold takes out the rest of
'N Sync, pounding them all to their
deaths)
(Stone Colds looks at Hanson funny)
*Stone: "Who the hell are you faggots?"
*Taylor: "We're Hanson... our last album
sucked so we've been shunned from MTV until
now. We will
reclaim our popularity!!"
*Zac: "Yeah and I look like the Olsen twins"
*Ike: "I just play the guitar"
*Stone: "I'm gonna kill you three... CAUSE
STONE COLD SAYS SO!!" (Stone Cold grabs the
Hanson and throws them in to the Euro
audience. The Euro fans tear them apart)
*Referee: "That's the fight...the winners
BACKSTREET BOYS!!" (Little did the referee
know that BSB were fighting amongst
themselves....)
*AJ: "Nick, why don't you ever show your
stomach!!!! Or does mommy not let you?"
*Nick: "Leave me alone, I just don't wanna"
*Howie: "Why you talk so slow, Kev. You
stupid or something???"
*Kevin: "No........ I'm not"
(Brians little chihuahua runs on-stage.
AJ drop kicks the chihuahua into the Euro
audience. It gets torn apart)
*AJ: "I hated that little shit ball!!!"
*Brian: "Noooooo... Tykeeeee!!"
(Brian lunges for AJ and grabs his
sunglasses off his eyes)
*AJ: "Nooo! I'm melting.... melting....."
(AJ melts into a puddle of goo)
(Howie comes and pulls at Nick's hair)
*Howie: "If I can't have good hair, no one
can!!"
*Nick: "Noooooo"
(Howie pulled out what happened to be a
wig. All the Nick fans faint)
*Howie: "So thats how you got it so good!!"
(Nick starts sobbing and runs off stage)
*Brian: "I'm coming sugar!"
(Brian runs after Nick)
(The crazed Nick fans wake up and ran
after Howie)
*Crazed fan #1: "Howie's hot now guys!!!!
NICK sucks!!"
*Howie: "Yes! Finally some love!!!"
(The fans chase Howie off the stage.)
(Kevin remains standing there. He walks
over to the camera and looks into it)
*Kevin: "Hey look, I've got my own show"
*Nick Diamond: "Well that's all the time we
have left... GOOD FIGHT..."
*Johnny: "And GOOD NIGHT!"
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