~* He Could have Saved Her*~
Angel stared at the wall as it all become blurry with the tears that stung her eyes. The wounds he had caused in her heart hurt her worse than any pain she had ever felt. As her heart tightened with hurt and loosened with regret. She regreted ever fighting back in his never ending battle with his life. She regretted trying to fix it but hurt because she knew she made it worse. A single tear ran down her check splashing into the sink filled with water. He hurt worse than she could imagine. Still she was hurt pretty bad,also.
"Angel,"Justin said snapping her back into reality. She wiped her cheeks and got into her bunk. She lay there in the dark trying to find herself again. She was insecure of everything from her life to her friends. All the presure layed heavy on her heart making it feel as if many times it had collapsed from the weight. She was a fighter not willing to let this make her give up the one thing she....cared about. Him....he was all that mattered to her all the wanted in her life at that moment but he had pushed her away crushing her feelings and damaging her pride.
His green eyes lit up her heart in an unexplained way and the way his soft brown hair seemed to always fall over his left eye. The way he walked with such confidense and the way his eyes looked right through her as if she wasn't there lay heavy on her mind. In her heart, she knew he saw her when she was alone and wanted to talk to her but never knowing how to break the silence or lighten the mood between the two who used to be so deeply in love and no so fiercly apart.
Her eyes always seemed to find theirselfs to his pulling her closer to him because that was the only way she knew he was hurting just like her. They were full of passion and tourmoil just as her own used to be but now they were blank with the hurt that couldn't show through anymore. Her heart was in such bad shape it was hard for her to even go to sleep but slowly she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
"Death...It is a scary word and to think an innocent young gurl would take her own life. The bad thing is that I knew I could have saved her from all of this. If I would have only tried. If only I would have gave her my love back but I couldn't because love is a word that scares the shit out of me. The thing was is that I loved her back with all my heart,"JC stepped down from the podium unwilling to go on any longer. He stepped up to her open casket. "Well, Angel, I feel this is my fault and I just want you to know that I do love you....,"JC felt a soft breeze blow by him and something soft struck his parted lips.
It was so reasuring as if to say 'Don't worry I am fine'. He shivered slightly and went to take his place on the pew. The whole time he felt someone sitting by him holding his hand to keep it from shaking. He couldn't cry not here so he ran outside and threw hisself down on the grass. The tears spilled over causing his body to rock in sobs. HE felt a hand on his back. "Go away,"he shouted.
"JC,it's just me,"he heard her voice. JC turned around and saw her sitting there talking to him. She seemed to glow and he just wanted to touch her but it was as if he was afraid she may crumble from his touch.
"I thought you were dead," he told her. Angel stared at him noticing the way his hair fell over his left eye as he tryed to push it away only to find it fell right back.
"Josh...I am dead. I took my own life because you were slowly killing everything good about me. I don't want this to be all you swell on move on JC just move on..."she said as she lightly placed a kiss on his lips and with that she was gone.......