To my killer and his family:

I am in Heaven now. I know no more pain, fear or suffering, as those are things that I once endured on earth. I am at complete rest. I am still full of joy, only now more so.

I am at peace. Unlike you and your family. Unlike what your actions caused my family and friends, who now grieve. My last moments on earth were of horror.

You deprived me of the very thing I needed to live......you denied me air.

As my brain reacted to get it's primary needs... you denied me air.

As my lungs screamed, burned, ached, felt like they would explode....you denied me air.

As my voice wanted to scream out and draw attention...you denied me air.

As my body tried to fight...you denied me air.

As my body went limp...you denied me air. As you dumped my body in the water...

As you went to my funeral...

As you live your life without honor, before God and man...

I hold no malice towards you. I cannot, as I am with my Heavenly Father. Your actions will be punished, either while you are alive on the earth, or when you die and go to your eternal resting place. It is in your hands where you will spend that eternity. Unless your action is confessed, you will spend eternity in anguish. Wailing, weeping, blood-curdling screams, without ceasing. Close your eyes and imagine a blackness so intense you cannot see your hands, the same ones that killed me, in front of your face. You see nothing but darkness...no light of any kind. The loud, thundering, wailing, screaming, shrieking, cries from the bottom of your soul, that never ends. You cannot shut out the noise. It shakes your entire body, it never stops. You feel like you are being suffocated, the air is filled with a stench. Flames and worms eternally eat at your body. Close your eyes and imagine not being able to breath. You will have no control. Your eternity will be worse than what you are now enduring, a living hell. You see my face everywhere, you hear my voice, in your dreams, in your moments of wake, as you journey through each day. As you try to erase me out of your memory. Unless you confess your actions to man, your eternity will be worse than my last moments on earth, when you denied me air.

You will always be looking over your shoulder, wondering, waiting. Your heart will become harder, harsher, vile, bitter.....it has already. You look into other peoples eyes searching to see if they know. You seek forgiveness for what you did, but you cannot have that forgiveness. Unless you confess. In order to be forgiven, you must confess. Your family must confess, that they hid your secrets and their secrets. Your witnesses must confess, that they felt threatened, that they would rather turn a blind eye to the truth, that they turned their back on humanity, that they didn't want the hassle or inconvenience.

Maybe you don't have the courage, strength or capability to ask for that forgiveness. Maybe your family will. Maybe someone who saw what you did will. Each and every man must account for his actions. How will you account for yours? I am in Heaven now. I am at peace. Unlike you. Unlike your family. Unlike anyone who saw what you did to me. God waits for your decision. He wants you to be forgiven. But you must confess to man, before that forgiveness will be extended to you. Your eternal destination is in your hands.