Too Dark To See
Chapter 1
“You know I love you, right?”
Abby smiled. “Yes, but it’s always nice to hear it.” She sighed, and cuddled closer to Isaac. “You’re so sweet, I can’t help but love you.”
Isaac kissed the top of her head, and let her watch the rest of the movie. His mind was on other things, however.
The two were sitting in the Hanson’s den, watching some movie that Abby had wanted to see. He’d said sure, because he never really paid any attention to the movies he and Abby rented. In the theatre it was different because, afterwards, he and Abby would go to a small café were they could talk and discuss the movie.
Isaac was pretty sure he loved Abby, seriously loved her. It scared him slightly, but it felt so good to love someone so completely, with all his heart, that he let it carry him away. What really scared him was whether or not Abby felt the same. If she didn’t, he needed to know before he completely fell for her.
Abby stretched, breaking him from his thoughts. The movie was over.
Isaac took a deep breath. “Abby.”
She turned to face him, smiling. The smile faded when she saw the look on his face. “Ike? What is it?”
“I need to tell you something major, and I need to know how you feel about it, okay?” She nodded, and he continued. “Abby, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love everything about you; I love your laugh, your smile, and the way you look in the morning, the way you get grouchy if you miss your favorite show…I never realized I could feel this way about someone. I…well…I think that, someday, I would want to be your husband, and I need to know if you feel the same, because, if you don’t-”
Abby silenced him with a kiss, and then she pulled back, smiling, tears shining in her eyes. “Yes. Yes, I feel the same.”
“Isaac?”
Isaac blinked, the memory slowly floating away. He turned from the window, toward the voice.
Dr. Winslow looked at him with a concerned expression in his eyes. “Are you okay?”
Isaac shook his head.
“Is there anything I can do?”
Again, Isaac shook his head.
The doctor sighed, and leaned back in his seat.
Isaac remained silent. He didn’t feel like talking to anybody, especially not this doctor. He didn’t know him. Why let a stranger into your thoughts, into your mind?
Time ticked by slowly, and the doctor checked his watch. “Well, Isaac, it seems our session is up. I’ll see you next week. If you need to contact me, you know the office number. Have a good week.”
Isaac opened the door, glad to be able to breathe. He saw his mother leafing through a magazine. “Mom, what are you doing here?”
Diana looked up at her son. “I just thought I’d come and pick you up so you didn’t have to walk home.” She picked up her purse, and fell into step with Isaac. “How did it go?”
“Fantastic.”
“Isaac…” She paused, thinking for a moment. “Ike, you have to talk to someone. It’s not good to bottle up your feelings like you are.”
“I’m not bottling up anything. I feel fine.”
“Ike…”
“I do,” he protested, and opened the car door. He slammed it harder than necessary, and Diana knew the conversation was over.
Dinner was usually easy. Mackie, Avery, and Zoë talked enough for all of them, so all Isaac had to do was sit there and eat. Most of the time, anyway. And then he would scrape his food into the trashcan and go to bed. He had a feeling tonight would be different, though. He was right.
“Isaac, could you please stay here for a moment?”
Isaac, who had been heading for the door, stopped and turned.
“Please?” his father said again.
Isaac sighed and settled at the table. Everyone else had already finished eating, and it was just him and his parents.
“Isaac, your mother and I care for you a great deal,” his father started, obviously deciding just to jump right in. “We want you to go to this doctor because he can help you. He can’t help you unless you talk to him. But if you want a different doctor, all you have to do is tell us. We will find a different doctor for you.”
“What difference does it make? I’m not going to talk to someone else, either.”
“Ike,” his father warned.
“You have to. If you won’t talk to your brothers, and you won’t talk to your father and me, you have to talk to someone else. There’s nothing else to it.”
Isaac stood up. “I don’t need to talk to anyone.”
“You sit back down; this discussion is not over.”
“Yes, it is. I don’t need to talk to anyone. There’s nothing wrong with me. I don’t feel anything. Why can’t you just leave me alone? Just leave me alone!” Isaac, who had been getting louder and louder without knowing it, practically screamed the last sentence and bolted from the kitchen and up to his room. He slammed the door and leaned against it, breathing hard.
Finally, his heart stopped racing, and he pushed away from the door and collapsed on his bed. Staring at the ceiling, he let all thoughts rush away from his mind. He turned his head and spotted the picture of Abby he kept on his nightstand. He picked up and stared at it. Abby.
“Faster! Faster!” Abby yelled, laughing.
Taylor staggered around before falling into Isaac. “She’s killing me, man,” he gasped.
Abby jumped off his back and swatted him on the arm. “I am not!”
Taylor pretended to sink to the ground in exhaustion. “So…tired…” he murmured, and Abby laughed.
“Abby, we beat you! We beat you, Abby!” Zoë exclaimed happily.
“You did, huh?” Abby swung the little girl up into her arms and blew on her stomach. Zoë laughed, squirming, and Abby twirled her around a few times before setting her on the ground. She stumbled dizzily to where Taylor sat and he pulled her into his lap.
Abby laughed, and wrapped her arms around Isaac’s waist, his arm automatically going around her shoulders. Someone had come up with the brilliant idea to have a piggyback race, and somehow she had landed on Taylor’s back and Zoë had landed on Isaac’s. But it had been fun.
Abby sighed happily, and rested her head against his chest. “I can’t wait until we have a child,” she whispered, so only Isaac could hear.
Isaac held her tighter. “Me too.”
There was a knock on the door. “Isaac?”
Opening his eyes, Isaac noticed how much darker the room had grown. “Yeah,” he called out sleepily.
The door crept open and Zac peered in. “Oh, sorry. Did I wake you?”
“No, you’re fine. Come on in.” Isaac sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.
Zac shut the door, but didn’t bother to turn on the light before settling at the end of Isaac’s bed. “I did wake you up, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, but it’s just as well. My dream probably would have turned into a nightmare anyway.”
“Was it about Abby?”
Isaac hesitated. “Yes,” he admitted. “God, I hate thinking about her, but I don’t ever want to forget about her.” He swallowed hard.
Zac sensed that he had said all he was going to, and stood up. “Well, I just wanted to see what you were up to. Good night, Ike.” He slipped out the door.
Isaac waited until the door was shut before letting the tears come.
Chapter 2
“What am I supposed to do about it? It’s not my fault!”
Isaac opened his eyes and found himself looking at the wall. Someone had been yelling and woke him up.
“He won’t talk! God, why can’t you understand that?”
It sounded like Taylor. His parents were probably getting on to him. About me, Isaac thought sourly, and sat up.
“I know that! He’s my brother, and I love him, yeah, but I don’t have any special pull with him! Why don’t you just leave him alone and let him work it out on his own?”
Yep, definitely about me, Isaac thought.
“He can’t work it out on his own. Why can’t you understand that?” Walker retorted, finally losing his cool.
Someone stormed up the stairs, probably Taylor. The door to Isaac’s room flew open.
“I am tired of having to make excuses for you! I can’t do it! It’s been three months! Get over yourself, damn it!”
“Taylor! What do you think you’re doing?” Walker asked angrily. He had obviously followed Taylor up the stairs. “No, I don’t want to hear any excuses! Go to your room right now! I said now!” Walker added when Taylor didn’t move.
“Fine,” Taylor muttered, and went down the hall. A door slammed, indicating that Taylor had, in fact, gone to his room.
Walker leaned against the doorframe, running his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry about that, Isaac. Taylor is just upset.”
“It seems everyone is these days.” Isaac rolled over, so he was no longer facing his father. “You know, maybe you should take Taylor to a doctor instead of me. Seems he has more problems.”
“Isaac…”
There was a loud crash, and something shattered.
Walker sighed. “I better go see what your brother’s breaking.”
Ear-splitting music ripped through the air, full of sexual images and profanity. The music soon shut off and everyone in the house could hear Taylor and Walker screaming at each other.
And it’s all because of me, Isaac thought. Everything that has happened - all my fault. All my fault. He closed his eyes tightly. "I miss you so much," he whispered.
“Oh, God no!” Tracy screamed. She fell to her knees, wailing into her hands and rocking back and forth.
“You killed her! You killed my baby!” Samantha, Abby’s mother, shrieked, alive with rage. She started shoving Isaac backward. “You killed her, you bastard! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! You killed my baby!”
Isaac stood there in disbelief, letting himself be pushed back into the wall, her blows barely registering. He was too numb to do anything else.
Matthew, Abby’s father, pulled his wife away from Isaac. He didn’t say a word, just pulled her back and held her close. Samantha fought against him for a moment before letting herself go and sobbing into his shoulder.
