Deeper and Deeper
I fall deeper and deeper the further I go


Disclaimer: This story is focused on Taylor and his struggles with his sexuality. If you feel you cannot handle it, then don't read it. If you don't mind it, feel free to read it, and enjoy it!


Chapter 1

"Tay, did you see her?" Zac said, nudging Taylor with his elbow. 

"Ow! Zac, would you quit?" Taylor asked, rubbing his sore side.

He was at the mall with his brothers. They were heavily disguised, of course, and had bodyguards standing by, but not too close. About every three seconds, Zac would throw his elbow into Taylor's side, and say, "Did you see her?"

"What? I'm a teenager - I have horomones."

"I don't think that 13 really qualifies as being a teenager."

"Zac, please don't talk about your horomones. It scares me," Isaac said, holding up his hand.

Zac sighed. "You guys are no fun." He crossed his arms, but a moment later, grabbed Taylor's arm and said, "Did you see her?"

"Ike! You sit by him!" Taylor jumped up and waited for Isaac to scoot over before he sat again. 

"You are such a cry baby, Tay."

Taylor's mouth dropped open. "I am not!"

"Yes, you - ooh, did you see her?" 

Isaac winced at Zac's tight grip. "I see why you didn't want to sit here anymore."

Zac sighed and muttered "Babies" under his breath. Taylor had to bite back his grin.

He had to stop himself from crossing his legs, since Isaac had said that it seemed to be his trademark. Instead, he hunched over with his elbows on his knees, resting his head in his hands. The truth was, he wasn't that interested in the passing girls. It didn't worry him much - Isaac didn't seem too interested either. Taylor glanced at Zac and rolled his eyes. He was interested enough for the both of them.

Taylor leaned back. "Ike, can we go now? Why are we sitting here anyway?"

"Don't ask me - it was Zac's idea."

"Figures. Come on, let's go."

The three brothers stood up and froze as they heard a cry. 

"Look! It's Hanson!"

Taylor glanced out of the corner of his eye, and saw one of their bodyguards tense up, ready to protect the boys.

"Walk normally. Don't look back, and don't jump," Isaac commanded.

So the three started walking, trying to relax and act like normal people, but there were shouts behind them, and they could soon hear the sound of pounding feet and people yelling "Hanson!"

"Run!" Isaac yelled.

The three brothers took of running, as fast as they could. Shoppers turned and looked at them, dodging out of their way, and security guards came to life. 

"This way," Zac said breathily, grabbing Isaac's hand.

Isaac barely had time to grab Taylor's hand before Zac pulled him around a corner. 

They skidded to a halt and tried to decide which store to hide in. After about four seconds, they just ran in one. It was a clothing store. Taylor and Zac ran to the back, while Isaac told the woman working that they needed a dressing room. 

Looking confused, she led Isaac back and unlocked one of the small changing rooms for them. 

"Thanks. And if anyone comes looking for three guys, unless it's kind of a big man or a security guard, you haven't seen us, okay?"

Giving them strange looks, she nodded, and went back up front. 

They crowded into the changing room and shut the door behind them, trying to be quiet. Luckily, it was one of the changing rooms in which the bottom was sealed off. However, since it was meant for one person, it was very, very cramped.

Finally, there was a knock on the door, and they heard a familiar voice. Opening the door, they practically fell out of the room. In fact, they did fall. Isaac and Taylor were on bottom, Zac partially on top of both of them. They looked up. "Hi," they said, almost in unison.

Adam Walkins raised his eyebrows. "Uh, hi." Adam was the younger brother of one of their bodyguards, and he and Taylor had been friends since they were seven, so he knew the Hanson family pretty well. He had just turned 16, the same age as Taylor. He offered his hand and helped Zac up.

Taylor pushed himself up and dusted off his clothes. He felt someone's eyes on him and looked up to see Adam looking at him. Adam looked away quickly. That was weird, Taylor thought, but shoved it aside. He took off his hat, letting his hair fall down to his shoulders. Next came the sunglasses.

"Okay, guys, let's get out of here before TV stations start showing up."

Waving at the woman at the desk, they followed Adam out of the store. The security guards had managed to throw together a barricade, and now masses of people stood behind them. Their three bodyguards joined up with the boys, walking closely.

Shoving the door open, Taylor squinted. The sun was really bright. "Looks like it's too late," he said to Adam.

About four media vans were lined up, with more pulling up. Reporters swarmed towards them as they walked out of the mall, shoving cameras and microphones into their faces and shouting questions at them. 

Adam stood in front of the boys, and the three bodyguards fell into place beside and behind them. Moving quickly and effiecntly, the boys were at the car in no time. Isaac went first, then Zac, and then Taylor. Adam slid in after Taylor. The car took off.

"Whew, that was close." Zac shoved down in the seat and looked around. "It's a good thing this is a big backseat. Otherwise, it'd be almost as bad as that changing room."

Taylor smiled half-heartedly. He was very aware of Adam, seeing as how they were pressed against one another. He glanced at Adam from the corner of his eye to see if he noticed, then closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He felt really stupid. 

"Are you okay, Taylor?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. Just a little freaked out."

Adam nodded. "Understandable."

Taylor was glad when the ride was finally over. He hopped out of the car and headed into the house, practically running to his room. He shut the door and leaned up against it, closing his eyes. "Okay, I'm a freak," he said to himself, his heart pounding. He wondered why he had ran up to his room so fast, but he pushed it out of his mind. 

Yawning, he shoved himself away from the door and threw himself down on the bed. He could hear his brothers, and probably Adam, running up the stairs, laughing and talking. He rolled over and closed his eyes, hoping they'd leave him alone. 

"Party over here!" Zac yelled, bursting into the room. "Party over there!"

"Zac, did anyone ever tell you that you have problems?" Adam asked, a smile evident in his voice.

"Lots of people, actually. I just don't get it..." 

Taylor could sense that someone was looking at him. He resisted the urge to open his eyes and see who. Besides, he had a pretty good idea...

"Taylor, what are you doing?" Zac asked innocently. He waited for an answer that never came. "Hmm, guess he's asleep. That's too bad."

Taylor yelped as Zac jumped on him. He sat up as best as he could, seeing as how he was still on his side, and came face to face with a grinning Zachary. He glared at him and shoved him, laughing when he fell off the bed.

"Ha!" Zac yelled, jumping up. "At least I got you up!"

"Tay, it's 4 in the afternoon. It's a little early do go to bed, isn't it?"

Taylor shrugged. "Running from a herd of screaming girls that would like nothing better than to rip off your clothes really takes a lot out of ya, ya know?"

Isaac gave him a you've-finally-lost-your-mind kind of look and busyed himself going through a notebook.

"I feel your pain, Taylor, I'm tired, too." Adam pointed towards a bed. "Whose bed is this? Oh, well, doesn't matter." He plopped down on the bed, which just happened to be Isaac's, and laid back. He wasn't sure whose bed it was because the boys liked to switch their room around so often.

"Hey, what's everybody doing?" Zac demanded, hands on his hips. He had found some Mountain Dew and downed it in three seconds flat, so now he was very hyper. Usually, he was pretty calm, but the rush of running through the mall probably didn't help.

"Sleeping," Adam replied, throwing his arm over his eyes.

"Um, no." Zac wandered over to Taylor and whispered in his ear. "Hey, let's get him."

Taylor pushed his younger brother away. "No. You're a freak."

Zac stuck in lower lip out in a mock pout. "You're no fun."

Taylor knew he was bluffing, but he couldn't help himself. He rolled his eyes and stood. "All right."

Zac got an evil spark in his eye, grabbed a pillow, and advanced slowly and quietly towards Adam. He motioned for Taylor to follow, pointing towards the opposite side of the bed. They were right up beside Adam before he realized it was too quiet and opened his eyes. Zac let out a whoop and he and Taylor jumped on the bed.

Adam shouted in protest as Zac bomboarded him with the pillow and Taylor tickled him. They had done this many times to Isaac, and Adam reacted almost the same way: laughing and shouting, and trying to keep Taylor from tickling while at the same time grab the pillow from Zac. Isaac rolled his eyes and left the room.

Adam somehow managed to grab the pillow and he threw it at Zac. Zac yelped and ran from the room, slamming the door behind him. Taylor sat back on his heels, grinning, while Adam tried to catch his breath. "You are so dead," he finally said.

Taylor scrambled off the bed and ran over to Zac's bed. Adam, hot on his heels, ran to the opposite side, and they circled the bed for a few times before Taylor darted for the door. He wasn't quick enough, and Adam pounced on him, sending both boys flying to the floor.

"Ha!" Adam shouted victoriously from his place on top of Taylor. "I got you!"

Taylor was still for a moment, thinking of his next move. Suddenly, he bolted upright, causing Adam to fall off his chest, and climbed on Adam, struggling to capture his failing arms. They wrestled for a few minutes, rolling around on the floor as they each tried to come out on top.

"Boys! What's going on up there?" Diana yelled.

They stopped mid-struggle and looked up, although they were the only ones in the room. "Nothing," they yelled back before releasing each other and rolling apart.

Taylor jumped up, laughing, and helped Adam to his feet. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Adam dusted off his jeans. "Boy, nothing like a mid-afternoon fight to get the blood pumping!"

Taylor giggled, feeling like a school girl. Adam grinned at him. A silence fell over the room, Taylor's giggles dying away. Adam's grin melted off his face and they stood there quietly, not sure of what to say or do.

Taylor's eyes focused on Adam's lips for a moment before he turned, mentally yelling at himself and hoping that Adam hadn't notice. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. There is nothing to do." Adam was quiet a moment, his grin coming back. "We could always go to the mall."





Chapter 2

"Tay, Adam - Zac and I are gonna go grab a bite to eat. You guys wanna come?"

The boys looked up from the music videos they were watching. Isaac stood in the doorway, holding his car keys, eyebrows raised.

Taylor glanced at Adam who shrugged, so he grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. "Sure, why not." He shoved himself off the couch and waited for Adam to stand before he followed his brothers out the door.

"Shot gun!" Zac yelled.

"Zac, calm down! Geez, no more soda for you!" Adam said, grinning.

"You're just mad because you have to share the backseat with Tay," Zac retorted.

Taylor's mouth dropped open. "Hey! Leave me outta this!"

Isaac slid into the driver's seat, not paying any attention to the conversation between the three. 

Zac just stuck his tongue out and jumped in the car. Taylor rolled his eyes and he and Adam climbed into the car a bit more calmly.

"Okay, where do we wanna eat?" Isaac asked after they'd been driving for a while.

"Pizza Hut."

Adam shrugged. 

"Pizza Hut," Zac repeated.

"Tay - where do you wanna go?"

"Huh?" Taylor, who had been staring out the window, snapped back to reality. "Oh, anywhere's fine."

"Pizza Hut it is," Zac crowed happily.

"Hey." Adam touched Taylor's hand. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Adam studied his friend's face for a moment before sighing and facing forward.

A few minutes later, they pulled into Pizza Hut's parking lot. Zac, who had calmed down considerably, suddenly became alive again and jumped out of the car, shouting happily.

"Zac," Isaac hissed. "Could you be more obvious?"

Zac considered this for a moment before shrugging. "Probably."

Once again, Taylor rolled his eyes at his younger brother's antics, climing slowly out of the car. He was the last one out.

The small groups trooped to the small building. Isaac had chosen the smallest Pizza Hut in hopes there wouldn't be many people there. Zac, of course, had complained, saying that it wasn't as good as some of the others.

Once they were seated in a booth, they studied their menu's critically, trying to decide on what to get. Taylor said he didn't care what they got, Zac wanted something totally outrageous, and Adam said he'd go with whatever the group chose, so Isaac ended up ordering. 

They made small talk until the cheesesticks arrived - then they busied themselves by fighting over the pieces. Taylor excused himself to the bathroom without touching any and, when he got back, they were all gone. 

"Pigs," he said, sliding in beside Adam.

"Can't help it if we're hungry," Zac said, shrugging.

Adam held his hands up. "Don't look at me and Ike, we only had a few pieces. Zac scarfed that sucker down."

Zac grinned proudly, and Taylor couldn't resist laughing.

The pizza came soon after. Isaac had ordered half pepperoni and half hamburger in hopes of pleasing everyone. No one complained as they fought over pieces. 

Taylor picked up his fork and preceeded to chop his slice of pepperoni into little bites. He'd already taken off the pepperoni's, and cut them up also, giving the pizza a chance to cool. The whole process took him at least a good ten minutes. He glanced over and saw Adam looking at him, eyebrows raised. "What?"

"You're odd."

"Yeah, I know. Can't help it - it runs in the family," he said, gesturing to Isaac and Zac.

"So I noticed." 

Taylor turned back to his masterpiece and picked through them carefully, trying to decide which piece he wanted to eat first. Finally, choosing the smallest, he stabbed it with his fork and popped it into his mouth. By the time he'd eaten half of his chopped up pizza, the rest of the boys were done. Taylor shoved his plate aside and took a drink of his water.

"That's all you're eating?" Adam asked in disbelief.

Taylor shrugged.

"Don't worry about him. He barely eats anything one day, then scarfs everything in sight down the next," Isaac explained. "And, you know how he went to the bathroom when we got the cheesesticks? That's one of his little tricks, so he doesn't have to eat it."

"He's retarded if you ask me. He claims it's his diet."

Taylor's eyes widened. "Guys, could you please not talk around me? Especially when it's about me. I'm right here!"

"Sorry, Tay, but it's the truth," Isaac said.

Adam shook his head. "Doesn't sound too healthy to me."

Taylor stood up. "Look, I didn't come here to be harrassed about my eating habits. So I don't eat that much - big deal. I'm fine!"

Taylor's tone of voice and the way he stormed off to the car made Adam guess he'd had this conversation before. He looked at Isaac who shrugged helplessly.

"Guess it's time to go." He threw money down on the table for a tip, ushered Zac out of the booth, and paid for the meal. "Okay, come on. Oh, and leave Tay alone." He looked at Zac when he said this, but he was also talking to Adam. "We all know how he gets."

Taylor was sitting behind the driver's seat, pouting, his arms crossed. Adam fought the urge to say something, to reach out and touch him, and stayed over on his side. The ride back to the Hanson household was quiet.


It was somehow silently agreed that Adam was spending the night. So, that night, they boys all trooped up to the big bedroom, changed into night clothes, and settled in. Taylor was still quiet, and refused to sleep on the floor with the rest of them. 

Adam, Zac, and Isaac talked for quiet a while, but they soon drifted to sleep while Adam stayed awake. He knew Taylor was still awake, too, and he felt it was his fault that he wasn't on the floor with them. Being careful as not to wake the sleeping boys, he got up and made his way to Taylor's bed. "Tay," he hissed.

Taylor ignored him, faking sleep.

"I know you're awake."

Taylor still tried to ignore him, but when he felt Adam laying down beside him, he jumped. He turned, looking into Adam's brown eyes. "Dude, what are you doing?"

"Let me talk to you."

Taylor rolled over, facing the wall. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Tay, I'm sorry, man. I shouldn't have even brought it up, but it just shocked me that you weren't going to eat more."

Taylor flipped onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "It's just that I get a lot of shit from my parents. They worry that there's too much pressure on me, and that I don't eat enough or sleep enough, and that I think I have to be thin just so we'll be famous."

"Well...do you?"

"No, not really. I mean, there is more pressure to remain thin than before we became famous, of course, but that's not why I don't eat very much. I'm just not hungry most of the time."

"Tay," Adam propped himself up on his elbow so he could get a better look at Taylor, "you would tell someone if you had a problem, though, wouldn't you?"

"I suppose...my parents make me go to this therapist, so I guess I would tell her."

Adam didn't think he sounded too sure, but decided not to pursue it. He lay on his back, also staring at the ceiling. 

The silence that lay over the room was broken by Taylor's giggles. "Do you realize that, the last time we were in the same bed, is when we were ten?"

"Yeah. You know, when my sister has a friend stay the night, they share the same bed. I wonder why girls can still do that, but with boys it feels weird and uncomfortable?"

"I don't know. It's that way in movies, too." Taylor sighed. "Well, anyway, what do you say we get on the floor with Ike and Zac?"

"Sure." Adam sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and standing. He took a few steps before realizing that Taylor was not behind him. He turned to see him sitting on the bed, holding himself up by one hand. "Tay? You coming?"

Taylor looked up. "Yeah, I was just thinking." He slowly got off the bed and gathered his quilt and pillow, throwing them between Zac and Adam's spots before squatting and arranging them the way he wanted. 

Adam sat down and watched Taylor work. Soon, Taylor sat down also, facing Adam. He could see that something was bothering his friend; Taylor's blue eyes looked clouded - Adam could see that even though the room was dark. He wanted to shake Taylor until the truth came spilling out, but he knew it wouldn't accomplish anything.

Taylor sighed quietly. "I'm just sad," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he had read Adam's mind. He lay down, curling up in a little ball and clutching his quilt around him.

Adam watched him for a moment. He knew Taylor was more sensitive than his brothers, and became hurt and depressed much easier than they did. He also knew it was very rare for Taylor to voice it when he was hurting. He lay down, propped on his elbow, looking at Taylor. He reached out slowly and touched him lightly. "If I could take your pain, I would."

Taylor didn't say anything, just closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.



Chapter 3

"Grr." Taylor was rubbing his hand on Adam's black cat, trying to get her to play, but the cat was just looked at him lazily. "Your cat is not very playful, is she?" he called.

"No, not today. She was outside all night, so she's probably wore out or something."

Taylor sighed and decided to let the cat sleep. "Are you almost done?"

"Yeah, in fact, I'm done." Adam emerged from the bathroom. "Let's go."

Taylor jumped up off Adam's bedroom floor. He yawned, trying not to let Adam see.

"That is, unless you wanna stay here and sleep instead."

"No, I'm fine."

"If you say so...you wanna drive, or shall I?" Adam held the keys up, but when Taylor yawned again, he clasped his hand tightly around them. "Never mind. I'm driving."

"Hey, if you didn't talk in your sleep, I wouldn't have this problem."

"I don't talk in my sleep."

"Oh, right. So all that mumbling about your brother was what, my imagination?"

"It would appear so."

The boys were on their way to a local teenage club. It was a place for teens 13-21 to just hang out in. Smoking was not permitted, and, of course, alcohol was not served. There were pool tables, video games, a food and drink booth, tables to sit at, and a dance floor. Every weekend, from five to one in the morning, they held dances. The dances were always packed. Admission was five dollars per person; eight per couple. Every once and a while, they would hold a "21-and-over" night, and sometimes Taylor, Isaac, and Adam managed to sneak in.

The ride over was quiet, but as soon as they walked in the building, they came to life. Calling out to friends, they walked onto the dance floor. They danced by themselves at first, but soon enough they turned and were dancing with girls. They danced close, never talking or exchanging names. That's just how it went sometimes. Soon enough, they needed a break and went to sit at one of the tables.

Gulping down some of the water Taylor had bought himself before he sat down, he wiped his face and handed the rest to Adam. Adam emptied it and tossed it towards the trashcan. It bounced off the side and fell to the floor. Adam waved his hand. "I'll get it later. I'm too tired to move right now."

Taylor nodded. "Same sentiments here."

"We've been here for, what - an hour? You wanna leave, or stay a little longer?"

"Let's split." Taylor stood, took a step forward, and faltered.

"Hey, are you okay?" Adam asked, alarmed. He caught Taylor's elbow and helped him sit.

"Yeah, I just need some sugar or something. And my legs are weak from all that dancing." Taylor closed his eyes a moment and took a deep breath. 

"I'll get some fries or something, and we can share them, and a Coke for you." Taylor started to reach for his wallet, but Adam stopped him. "No, that's okay. I'll get it." He started towards the stand, picking up the water bottle on the way and tossing it. He bought another water, a small Coke, and a small fry and headed back to Taylor.

"Thanks." Taylor took a small sip of the Coke and ate a few fries. Adam gave him a disapproving look, so Taylor ate a few more. He took another drink of the Coke and held it out. "There's not much left. Want it?"

"No, that's okay. You can finish it."

Taylor drank the rest, ate a few more fries, and stood once again. "Okay, I'm good. Let's go."

"You sure?" When Taylor nodded, he rolled the water bottle across the table. "Great. Carry that and let's bail." He grabbed the fries and started for the door, knowing Taylor was right behind him. Pushing open the doors, he sighed as cool air washed over him. "Hey, it's really nice out here."

"Yeah, no kidding." Taylor squeezed the bottle, shooting a spray of water at Adam and managing to hit him. "Keep movin' soldier."

"Hey now! You may be older," Adam tossed a fry at him, "but I'm stronger. I could take you down!"

"Oh, whatever. I do believe I was putting up a pretty good fight yesterday."

"Good fight my french fries! I was being nice enough to not squash you like a bug!"

"In your dreams, pal." Taylor squirted him once more and ducked into the car.

"You're lucky I just got the car cleaned or you'd be looking fancing in fries."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, and if you spray me, you're dead." Adam pulled out of the parking lot.

"Oh, yeah?" Taylor said again, aiming the bottle at him.

"Just try me, buddy boy!"

Laughing and keeping up their steady exchange, they drove through the darkness and to Adam's house.


"Kick off your shoes."

Adam grinned, watching Taylor kick his shoes at the wall. "Get on the floor," he supplied.

"This is what we came here for." Taylor practically threw himself down onto the sleeping bags and blankets Adam had laid on the floor. He sighed, rolling onto his back and staring up the ceiling. "Now that I can actually go to sleep, I'm not that tired."

"Sucks to be you!" Adam chirped and flicked the lights off before collasping beside Taylor. He lay on his stomach, his arms crossed on his pillow, his head resting on them. He closed his eyes.

"Oh, no, you don't!" Taylor shook Adam's arm. "You are the host! You have to keep me company."

Adam opened one eye and looked at Taylor. "Go away."

"Now, is that any way to talk to a guest?"

"You're not a guest - you're Taylor. Leave me alone." He turned his head to the other side.

Taylor wasn't ready to give up quite so easily. He thought for a moment before spying the remote to Adam's TV. He grabbed it and turned sideways, laying halfway across Adam's back, and turned the TV on.

"Jordan Taylor Hanson, shut that damn thing off and get back over on your side."

"No, I'm fine." He dug his elbows into Adam's back lightly.

Adam yelped and rolled over, catching Taylor off guard. He reached for the remote, but Taylor regained control of himself and held it out of reach. They struggled for a few moments, giggling like maniacs, before Adam finally grabbed it and turned the TV off, casting the room into darkness. He slid it towards the door and rolled onto his back, panting slightly. "Must we always do that?"

"We must," Taylor said, giggling again.

"I'm going to sleep now, if that's okay with you."

"Well, okay, I suppose I'll let you." Taylor grinned at Adam, who stuck out his tongue. He pulled the blanket up to his chest, one arm under the blanket and the other on top.

Adam turned onto his side, both arms under the blanket. His hand brushed Taylor's and he glanced quickly at him.

Taylor looked back at Adam. He swallowed hard, but didn't move his hand away. 



Chapter 4

Taylor waved to Adam before shutting the door behind him.

"Taylor?"

"Nope, just a crazed fan who wants to ravage your son."

"Oh, okay. He should be home soon." Diana smiled as Taylor walked into the kitchen. "Hi, honey. Did you have a nice time at Adam's?"

"Yeah." He grabbed an orange from the fruit bowl. "I'm going upstairs. I won't be down for lunch."

"Taylor, at least eat something else besides an orange." Diana knew it was useless to try and convince him to eat with everyone else. It was a wonder he even ate dinner with them.

Taylor grabbed a box of crackers from the cabinet. "Good enough?" His mother nodded. "Okay, I'm going upstairs. If I'm not back in twenty minutes, that's okay. I wasn't planning to be."

Diana made a face at him - a habit she had picked up from her children - and swatted at him with her dishtowel. Taylor darted up the stairs and into his bedroom. Zac was laying on the floor, playing a video game and Isaac was sitting on his bed, looking through a magazine. 

"Hey, Tay. Just get home?" Isaac closed the magazine and tossed it onto his bedstand.

Taylor tossed his food carelessly onto his bed before sitting beside Zac, waiting for him to die so he could play, too. "Yep."

"Taylor!" Jessica screamed from downstairs.

"What?" he screamed back.

"Mom said Mal called!"

"Okay!" He turned to Isaac and switched to a normal voice. "Hand me the phone, will ya?"

Isaac tossed the cordless phone to Taylor, who dialed the number from memory. It rang three times before someone picked up.

"Hey, Mal, what's up?"

"Same old shit, just on a different day."

Taylor grinned. He loved Mallory Klein - she was totally unique and never afraid to say what was on her mind or stand up for what she believed in. His parents liked her, too, but didn't like the language she frequently used.

"So, where were you yesterday?"

"Adam's. We went to that teen dance hall, then I spent the night at his house."

"Cool. So, wanna go ridin' around with me?"

"What time are you picking me up?"

"Depends. Shall I get Adam or not?"

"Yeah, sure. Why not."

"Great. I'll be there in fifteen." 

There was a click and the line went dead. Taylor disconnected from the line and set the phone aside. 

"Where are you going?"

"Ridin' with Mal and Adam."

"You know, you're gonna be so sick of Adam before this week is over," Isaac said, smiling. 

Taylor shrugged. "Probably." He stood and grabbed the nearest brush. He pulled it through his long, blonde hair before securing it tightly with a hair tie behind his head. Mallory loved to have all the windows down, and Taylor hated it when his hair flew in his face. "See you guys later."

Zac mumbled something and Isaac raised his hand in a wave. Taylor rolled his eyes and left the room, heading down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

"Did you call Mallory back?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna go ridin' with her, if that's okay."

Diana gave him a look. "Just stay out of trouble."

"Always." Taylor checked his watch. "She should be coming, so I'm going outside to wait."

"Don't stay out too late," Diana called after him.

"Okay." Taylor let the door bang behind him, waving at the fans that had gathered outside the fence around his house. He sat on the steps and let his mind wander, ignoring the screams. When he saw Mallory's familiar red Mustang, he stood, opened the door to the house, entered the code so Mallory could drive in, and waited once more. Finally, he hopped in the front seat, nodding to Adam in the back, and they left, the gate closing behind them.

Mallory drove slowly, trying not to run over any of the fans that came up to the car. "One of these days..."

"Sorry, Mal." Taylor winced as a girl banged on the passenger window. "If they do any damage, just bill me."

"Damn straight." She sped up a little more, and soon all the fans were behind them. "Damn teenies," she said, looking in her review mirror. "Shoulda ran 'em over!"

Taylor raised his eyebrows, extremely amused. "I'd like to see you get outta that one."

Mallory shrugged and turned on her turn signal. "Hope you guys don't mind if we go to Wal-Mart."

Adam and Taylor shook their heads, knowing it wouldn't have mattered if they'd said that yes, they did mind. Mallory would have pulled in anyway.

After they all got out and Mallory locked the car, they started up to the store. They walked in the middle of the road, not caring who they pissed off. Taylor had pulled his hair up into a baseball hat and was wearing sunglasses, and, just so he wouldn't look so strange, Adam was wearing the same and Mallory had a bandana on, along with sunglasses. Anybody who saw her probably thought she was a gang member, which was kind of what she was going for.

They sat at the little soda place at the back of the store, sucking down some slurpee's and talking about the people walking past. It was pretty normal until Mallory made a comment about some guy walking past.

"Whoa," she said, peering over the top of her sunglasses, "did you see that guy?"

Adam and Taylor exchanged looks. "Um, no. We don't check out guys."

"What? You can't even admit when a guy is hot? Listen, I'm as straight as a girl can be, and I'm not afraid to acknowledge the beauty of other women."

"Sorry, but guys just don't notice that about other guys," Adam said.

"Look at Taylor. He's very - sorry Tay - pretty. Can't you even admit that? And Taylor, Adam is such a cutie. Now what's wrong with just admitting the truth?" Mallory finished the rest of her drink and slid out from the booth. "I'll be back. I have to pee."

Adam twirled his straw around in the red liquid. "Now that was weird." He glanced at Taylor, who was sitting with his head down, staring at the table. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You are so totally transparent, so don't even give me that. What's up?"

"I just feel like..." Taylor trailed off, biting his lip. He stood suddenly. "Never mind," he said, and started walking away.

Adam jumped up and started after him, dodging out of the way of oncoming shoppers. "Taylor, what? What do you feel like?" He caught Taylor's arm. "Stop, will ya? Now, come on, talk to me."

"I don't want to." Taylor refused to look back.

"You can't keep bottling your feelings up inside of you, Tay. It's not healthy."

Taylor spun and stuck his face in Adam's. "I have to! Don't you get it? If I told anyone how I felt, they would look at me like I'm a freak! And I probably am!" He pulled his arm away and stalked off once more. 

This time, Adam didn't follow him. He just watched helplessly as Taylor disappeared into the crowd of people.



Chapter 5

"What's up Taylor's ass?"

"I don't know."

Shortly after Taylor had walked off, Mallory had came back from the bathroom and helped Adam track him down. Now they were back in the booth and Taylor was sitting sullenly next to the wall, memorizing the table.

"Taylor, dude, whatever is wrong, either spill it or get over it, okay? We're here to have a good time."

"Sorry."

"Okay, fine." Mallory stood up. "Let's go. I'm taking you home if you're going to be like this."

"No, Mal, please." Taylor looked up. He didn't want to go home - his siblings and his parents would bug him to death, asking what was wrong. "I'm okay, see? I'm fine." Taylor forced a big grin, but he still looked sad.

Mallory sighed. "Whatever. Come on, let's do something."

The boys followed her around, not really paying attention until they reached the electronics section. Then they browsed through the CDs and the movies until Mallory dragged them to the stereo part. She thought it would be fun to set all the stereos to the same station and turn the volume way up. So, after doing that, they ducked away before anyone saw them and headed for the sports section, where they tossed a baseball back and forth until the store manager approached them and asked them to leave. They left in good spirits, Taylor taking the back and Adam the front.

"Hey, you guys wanna grab something at Mickey D's?"

Adam piped up with an enthusastic, "Sure!" and Taylor just shrugged, so Mallory pulled into drive-thru. She ordered for everybody - 20 piece nuggets (to share), fries, and a Coke for herself; a Big Mac, fries, and a Mr. Pibb for Adam; and a large order of unsalted fries and a small chocolate shake for Taylor. She drove to the park, but they didn't get out, just sat in the car and ate.

Mallory had her box of nuggets sitting on the armrest in between the two front seats, and Adam kept eating them. She hit him playfully in the stomach. "Hey, you pig! Stop! We've got to save some for pretty boy back there."

"Will you stop calling me 'pretty boy?' I know you want me, but-" Taylor was cut off by Mallory turning and shoving a handful of fries into his mouth.

"If I wanted you, I would have had you by now and you know it," Mallory giggled. She whipped off her bandana and threw it down before jumping out of the car. She did a few crazy cartwheels before getting back into the car. "I feel better," she said before anyone could ask.

"Hey, Tay, let me have some of your shake."

Obidently, Taylor handed the cup to Adam. "Want some fries, too?"

"No, that's all right. You can keep those." Adam took one more drink and then handed the shake back to Taylor. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm about ready to go home."

Taylor glanced at his watch, which read five twenty. He wondered how long they'd been in Wal-Mart. "Yeah, my mom is probably having a major cow or something."

Mallory scooped up all the trash, putting it in the empty McDonald's bag. She held it up. "Who wants to run this down to the trashcan?"

Adam volunteered for the job, and soon he was back in the car and they were on their way. Mallory punched the code in so Taylor didn't have to worry about being attacked and let Taylor off at his house. He waved goodbye to them before letting himself inside.

"I'm home!" he yelled, slamming the door behind him. He ran up to his room, not waiting for an answer. Isaac and Zac were no where to be seen, but Taylor didn't think much about it. He pulled off his shoes and collasped onto his bed, feeling exhausted. He soon drifted off to sleep.


"I wanna hear you scream."

Taylor squirmed beneath the burning touch of the person above him. The hot breath against his skin didn't help any either. He swallowed hard.

"I want you to scream louder than you've ever screamed. Will you scream for me, Taylor?" The voice was soft, seductive...

"Yes," Taylor gasped, trying to catch his breath. "I'll scream, you just have to-" Taylor ended his sentence with a gasp. His voice was barely above a whisper when he next spoke. "Adam."

Taylor's eyes flew open. "Oh, my god," he whispered.

"Taylor, are you okay?"

Taylor would have pushed himself up if he thought that he had the strength, but he seriously doubted it, so he just turned his head to look at the speaker. "Bad dream."

Isaac nodded and returned to his book. Taylor rolled over so he was facing the wall and started to freak out. 

He'd been dreaming about Adam - Adam! Why? What kind of person has sexual dreams about someone of the same sex and, worse, gets turned on by them? Did this mean he was gay?

No, it couldn't. It was just because of that stuff Mallory was saying today. Right?

Taylor squeezed his eyes shut and tried to convince himself that it was, but, in reality, he wasn't sure. He'd been having all sorts of weird thoughts and feelings lately, which was why he'd ran today - he was afraid Adam would look at him and be able to tell, but still - he couldn't be gay. He was Taylor Hanson! Famous rock star - well, pop star at least - and adored by millions! No, he wasn't gay.

What if he was! What would the fans think! What would his parents think? His brothers would probably kick his ass and there would go the band. His parents would not only kick him out, but disown him, and forbid any of his siblings from talking to him. His pictures would be taken off the walls and out of the photo albums, and the stuff he left behind would be thrown away. All traces of him would be gone, and Zoe wouldn't ever remember him.

Okay, Taylor, stop. You're overreacting. Just calm down. Taylor took a deep breath and tried to let all the thoughts and fears flow away, and let the correct information flow in. He'd read somewhere that it was perfectly normal to have dreams and thoughts about people of the same sex, which meant he was safe.

Taylor opened his eyes and glanced down at his shorts. Although he was probably straight - he hoped he was anyway - the erection he'd received from the dream was not going to go away on its own any time soon. He sat up and grabbed his jeans off the floor, bunching them up and carrying them in front of himself. "I'm taking a shower. Tell Mom I'll be down in a bit if dinner is ready before I'm out, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

Taylor continued down the hall, not relaxing until he'd closed the bathroom door behind him. He locked it and turned the water on before slipping out of his boxers. He stepped into the shower stall and closed the curtain behind him.


Chapter 6

"Don't." A few minutes passed. "Don't." Another minute passed. "Stop!"

Mackie burst into giggles. "Don't stop? Okay!" 

Taylor caught Mackie's hand as it neared his arm. "Poke me again and you'll wish you hadn't. Go bug Ike or Zac, and leave me alone."

"You're nice," Jessica commented from the couch.

"Well, I'm trying to watch this movie and he's over here poking me in the arm..."

"Poor Mack. Come over here, sweetie, and get away from mean 'ole Taylor." She held her arms out and Mackie scampered over to her.

Taylor rolled his eyes and turned back to the movie.

"Taylor!" Isaac screamed from upstairs.

"What?"

"Will you come here?"

"I'm watching a movie!"

"So?"

Taylor rolled his eyes once more and pushed himself off the chair. Promptly, Mackie launched himself into the empty seat. Taylor decided to deal with him when he came back and continued towards the stairs.

Isaac looked up when Taylor came in. "Hey, have you seen Zac?"

"Is that what you wanted?"

"No." Isaac started to fidget.

Taylor's eyes narrowed. Isaac was hiding something. "Isaac."

"Hm?"

"Why did you want to see Zac?"

"Just wanted to ask him something."

"Oh? What?"

"Just something."

"Well, if you tell me, I'll ask him for you."

Isaac bit his lip and stared at the floor. Finally, sighing, he thrust something at Taylor. 

For a moment, Taylor just looked at the object in Isaac's hand. It was as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. It was a bag of weed. 

"I wanted to ask if it was his."

"Zac's? But it can't be..."

"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, too." Isaac ran a hand through his hair. "But why would he have it?"

"Have what?" Zac asked, breezing into the room. He froze when he saw the way his brothers were looking at him and what Isaac held in his hand. Immediately, his guard went up. "It's not mine."

Isaac's eyes narrowed as he slipped into his tough-love mode. "Who's is it?"

"I don't know. I found it on the ground, and I didn't know what else to do so I picked it up." He held his hands up. "Honestly, guys, I swear. It's not mine - I wouldn't even know how to smoke it!"

"Okay, fine, but why bring it in the house? Especially with all the little kids running around? Who knows who could've found it!"

"It was stupid, I'll give you that. And I'm sorry. But now what do we do with it?"

Taylor watched Isaac's face as he debated on how to get rid of the bag. He could tell that Isaac wasn't believing Zac's story, and he could understand why. After all, why would he pick up a bag of weed off the street?


"Ugh, I'm so bored." Taylor threw himself down on the bed, dipping his hand into Zac's bag of Dorito's and pulling one out. He munched on it slowly, taking very little bites. Isaac watched, looking rather amused.

"You know, you could always call Adam."

"Ha-ha, very funny." Taylor sighed, rolling onto his back. After staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, he shoved himself back up. "Actually, that's not a bad idea..."

Isaac shook his head. "Okay, two straight weeks. Two weeks that you and Adam are almost always hanging around-" He shook his head. "I'm about ready to kill you both."

"Okay, I'll see if I can go over to his house." Taylor dialed the familiar number and waited for Adam to pick up. "Hey, it's me. Listen, Ike's driving me nuts, so I'm looking for a way to escape." Taylor was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, okay, I'll be ready."

"He's picking you up, right?"

"Affirmitive."

Once again, Isaac shook his head. Taylor just grinned and waited for Adam to pull into the drive.


"So, what do you wanna do?"

I'll tell you what I wanna do, Taylor thought, then immedietly shook the thought from his head. "I don't know - what do you wanna do?"

"Something other than sit here and ask one another what we want to do all day."

"Correction - we're laying, not sitting."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Sherlock."

They two boys were laying side by side on Adam's bed, staring at the ceiling. It was one of those lazy summer days when there really isn't anything to do other than lay around and watch TV. 

"Let's go somewhere." Taylor flipped over, looking at Adam. "Will your mom let you take the car?"

"Yeah, probably. But where are we gonna go?"

"Hey, don't look at me. I gave us something to do, not somewhere to go."

"Well, we can figure that out later, then. Let's just go."

Taylor followed Adam down the stairs, where he asked permission to borrow the car and to go out. Finally, they were on their way to nowhere.

"Ahh, this is the life." Taylor stretched in his seat, straining against the seatbelt. "You have no idea how lucky you are."

"Me? Lucky? Why do you say that?"

"Because you can do this-" Taylor gestured to the road, "-and not worry about being chased down by crazy fans or their parents. You can actually go places, and do what you wanna do, without people saying, 'Why is he going there, why is he doing that?'" Taylor stared out the window. "I like doing what I am, but sometimes I just wish I had some privacy, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Adam squeezed Taylor's hand.

Taylor stared down at the seat, at his hands. He knew the quick squeeze was meant to be reassuring, but he couldn't help but wonder if it meant something else, too.


A few weeks went by, with the boys hanging listlessly around the house. There wasn't really anything for them to do, and they had begun to get edgy, with the fans constantly screaming outside their door. So Walker and Diana decided they need a vacaction. Putting Adam's brother, Denny, in charge, along with a few other bodyguards, the boys went on their way. After a lot of pleading, from all the boys but mostly Taylor, Adam was allowed to go with them, also.   

They had only been there a few days when, Taylor and Isaac, along with Adam, decided to sneak into a club. After about two hours of dancing and drinking, Adam decided that he and Taylor should go back to the hotel. Asking Taylor if he was ready, Taylor nodded, stood and started toward the door, but he stumbled and almost fell. 

Laughing, Adam caught him. "Are you okay?" he asked, trying to focus on Taylor's face.

Taylor pressed himself against Adam. He tended to get very touchy-feely when he was drunk - his brothers had learned that the hard way. "Yeah, but think that, um, that...um..." Taylor seemed to have lost his train of thought. 

This made Adam laugh harder. "Okay. Good job, blondie."

Taylor pulled away and tried to stand up tall. He stuck his chin in the air, but he still couldn't balance very well and started to tip over. He waved his arms wildly until he caught onto Adam.

By this time, Adam was almost dying of laughter. He wasn't very stable himself, so when Taylor grabbed onto him, they both went down.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Adam stood and helped Taylor up. "Come on, I think we'd better leave."

Taylor nodded. That, combined with the flashing lights, made him dizzy, so he fumbled around until he found a chair. "Okay, I'm just going to sit here while I find Ike and tell you."

Adam giggled again at Taylor's mixed up speech before disappearing into the crowd and returning a few minutes later. "Okay, let's go." He once again had to catch Taylor to keep him from kissing the floor. Taylor grinned and kissed him instead. Holding onto his elbow, he guided him out of the club and somehow managed to flag down a cab. 

They made it back to the hotel, throwing money at the cab driver and hoping it was enough. After deciding that the elevator was taking too long - they'd never pressed the button - they went to the stairs. Taylor stumbled up them as best as he could, Adam laughing at him. Finally, they reached Adam's room. Of course, it took them a few minutes to get in because Adam couldn't get the key card in the slot correctly. 

"Whew! It's hot!" Taylor exclaimed, and started pulling off his clothes. 

"Tay, dude, what are you doing!"

"It's hot!" Taylor came up to Adam, right in his face. "Don't you think it's hot?" he inquired, trying to get closer still, backing Adam into a wall. He  didn't seem to realize how close he was to Adam already. "I think it's hot." 

Adam could smell the alcohol on Taylor's breath, and he coughed, waving his hand in front of his face. "Go gargle some Scope or something." Placing his hand on Taylor's chest, he shoved him back slowly. 

Taylor looked down at the hand on his chest, not quite registering what was happening. His feet weren't moving at the same speed and he fell to the floor. "Your breath doesn't exactly smell like roses."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Damn, it's hot." Taylor stood up and peeled off his jeans. He was now left standing in his boxers, which he soon discarded also.

"Shit, Tay, why can't you just turn on a fan or something? Geez, man, put your clothes back on!"

Taylor shook his head. "It's hot." Slowly, very slowly, he started to tip sideways. Luckily, the couch was there, and he landed on it. He jumped up. "Too hot." He looked toward the balcony. "I know! Outside is nice!"

Adam felt the giggles creeping back up. "Tay-lor," he cooed, giggling. 

Taylor didn't even look at him. He just kept going toward the sliding doors. Opening them, he stepped out. "Ahh, much better."

Adam shrieked with laughter, throwing his hands over his mouth and trying to swallow it. Taking a deep breath, he tried to act halfway sober. "Okay. Okay." Walking to the balcony, he grabbed Taylor's arm and pulled him inside. "Can't do that. Come on, put your clothes on."

"It's hot!" Taylor said once again, opening his eyes wide to try and get his point across. He threw himself down on the couch, but got right back up. "Do you have anything to drink?" He headed to the minibar and started pulling stuff out.

Adam gave up protesting. Giggling softly, he took one of the bottles and raised it in a fake toast before drinking it.
 

Half an hour later, both boys were almost completely wasted.

"We'd better go to bed," Taylor said, giggling. He kissed Adam's cheek, then tried to twirl across the room, but instead landed on his butt. He crawled back to Adam and used him as a human jungle gym as he struggled to get back on his feet. 

"Yep." Adam swayed towards the couch. 

"You dumbass. You can't go to bed with your clothes on! Here, let me help you." Taylor pulled Adam's shirt off and tossed it aside. Both boys had forgotten that Taylor was still as naked as the day he was born. "See? Easy?" Still, Taylor continued to undress Adam, his hands going down to the button and fly on his jeans. He fumbled with them for several seconds before finally succeeding in undoing them. "There!" he said happily, kneeling down and yanking Adam's jeans down around his ankles, along with his boxers. He stood slowly. "Easy."

Suddenly, their lips met. Neither had known it was going to happen - it just...did. Breaking away, they stared at one another before kissing again.

"Taylor," Adam gasped. "Tay, this isn't right. We, um, can't think right."

"Adam," Taylor giggled, and wrapped his arms around Adam. "Adam," he repeated, and kissed him again, more forcefully this time. He broke the embrace and looked around for a minute. His face lit up, and he pulled Adam toward the bed. Shoving him down, he climbed on top of him and kissed him again before rolling over and pulling Adam on top of him.

"Tay, no." Adam closed his eyes and tried to get his brain to work, tried to figure out a way to stop this, but the haze from the alcohol prevented it.

Taylor smiled at Adam, and then passed out.


Taylor groaned and rolled over, trying to figure out what had caused him to wake up. A knock on the door answered his question. He opened his eyes and found himself face to face with a sleeping Adam. Worry about it later, he told himself, and reached out. "Adam!" he hissed, shaking the sleeping boy's arm.

Adam's eyes fluttered open. Confusion clouded his eyes. "Tay? What are you doing here?"

"I don't know. Someone's at the door."

"Okay." Adam rubbed his eyes. "I hate hangovers," he muttered, and stood. He and Taylor both gasped when they noticed he was naked. "Oh, shit." Shaking his head, he spied his boxers, slid them on, and went to the door. 

Taylor pulled the covers over his head, trying to go back to sleep, but his eyes flew open at Adam's words.

"Oh, hey, Ike."

Taylor took a deep breath. He couldn't hear his brother, but Adam's voice floated back to the bed. 

"No, he's still sleeping. We'll come down to your room when Tay wakes up and all that."

Taylor heard the door close, and slow footsteps walking back towards the bed. Someone, he assumed it was Adam, took ahold of the covers and started pulling. Yep, it was Adam. He kept pulling, slowly, slowly, said, "Oh, shit," then sank down beside Taylor.

"Shit," he repeated. "Tay, do you remember what happened last night?"

Taylor's cloudy mind flashed back briefly as he pulled the covers back up to his waist. "Yeah, some of it."

"It was only kissing, right?"

"I think so," Taylor answered slowly. He sat up and looked at Adam. For some reason, he didn't feel embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I think I was kinda...pushy. Then I think I passed out."

"It's fine." Adam licked his lips. "Do...do you remember what it felt like?"

Taylor couldn't look at him when he answered. "Yeah, it was pretty damn amazing." He wasn't sure where his answer came from - maybe it was some leftover alcohol or something, but it slipped out before he could stop it.

"Tay." Adam waited until Taylor looked at him. He noticed the tears shining in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I'm...I'm so mixed up! God, I hate feeling this way! I liked kissing you, but maybe that's because I was drunk. Or maybe the alcohol didn't have anything to do with it. Shit, I'm just so confused." Taylor cradled his head in his hands, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

"Hey, hey. It's okay. Shh, it's okay." Adam wrapped his arms around his friend, rubbing his back. "I know how you feel."

Taylor drew back slightly. "You do?"

"Yeah. I'm attracted to girls, but last night..." He trailed off, biting his lip. "Okay, listen. If you ever want to - see - when you're sober, I'm...well, I'll be here."

Realizing they were still hugging, they broke apart, laughing slightly. 

"Thanks, Adam. That helps. It's good to know I can 'see' with you, and that I can talk to you without you thinking I'm totally weird."

"Hey, I never said I didn't think you were weird," Adam shot back.

Taylor shoved him off the bed. "Go take a shower."

Adam laughed, winced as it made his headache worse, and stood up. "Okay, fine. I can see where I'm not wanted." He walked to the doorway and turned. "But, Tay? If you get hot, please don't walk out on the balcony naked. Again."


Chapter 7

"Boys?" Hearing the door slam, Diana appeared in the doorway. Seeing Isaac, Taylor, and Zac standing in there, she rushed forward, trying to throw her arms around all three of them. "I've missed you boys so much! Did you have a good time? You all look so much better. Are you hungry? Do you need help bringing everything in?" Diana paused for a breath and smiled, half laughing. "I'm so glad you're home."

They took turns hugging her before going out to the car and dragging their suitcases inside. They didn't even mind the small crowd that had gathered around to watch them. Getting away from it all and just being able to relax in peace and quiet had been amazing, but nothing could beat coming home. 

It was weird, how much had happened when they'd been gone. Jessica had scored the winning goal in street soccer, Zoe had learned a new word, Mackie had lost a tooth, and Avery had fell off her bike and had plenty of scrapes and bruises to show for it, which she showed off rather proudly.

That night, after dinner, Walker and Diana settled down on the porch swing with Isaac and Taylor sitting at their feet. They watched as Zac chased Avery, Mackie, and Zoe around while Jessica tried to help them defend themselves. The usual crowd of fans had gone home for the night, and nobody even glanced out their windows as they drove by.

"Man, it's great to be home," Isaac said, stretching his arms overhead.

Diana glanced up in time to see Avery be caught by the arms and swung around by Zac as she screamed with laughter. "We've really missed you guys. I didn't think it would be, but the house has been pretty quiet, especially without Zac."

"Yeah, he's something else, isn't he?" Taylor said, smiling. As he said this, he couldn't keep Isaac's discovery out of his head and Zac's weak story about finding it on the street. It just didn't add up. For one thing, Zac was a lot smarter than that. If it had really happened like he said it did, he would have known who to tell, or at least probably would have told him or Isaac. He sighed and leaned back against the swing, feeling his mother's hand as she stroked his hair.

"Are you feeling all right, Taylor? You don't seem like yourself."

"No, I'm okay, Mom. I just have a lot on my mind." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Isaac glance at him sharply. He closed his eyes.

"Well, you know talking about it can sometimes help."

"I'm not so sure it would help in this case, Mom." And from somewhere in the back of his mind, he could feel the touch of Adam's lips against his.


Taylor wasn't quite sure how to act the next time he saw Adam. He tried to act normal, but he wasn't quite sure what normal was, and he earned himself a lot of strange looks from everyone around him. So, when Zac asked if they could go to the mall, Taylor was all for the idea.

Armed with disguises, six bodyguards, and multiple warnings from Walker and Diana, the four boys headed to the mall. Right away, they could tell that something wasn't right. People were too quiet, and stared too long at the boys when they walked past.

Taylor swallowed hard and looked around. "Maybe we should go..."

"Hey, relax. It's going to be okay," Isaac said, but he didn't sound so convinced.

"Okay, guys, sorry to ruin your fun, but we've got to get out of here before something happens. Just keep walking calmly like nothing's wrong, okay?" Denny Walkins said. "But if something does happen, just run."

The boys nodded, staring straight ahead. The quickened their pace a bit, not sure if they were imagining the growing whispers or not.

"Uh, guys?" Denny placed a hand on his younger brother and gently shoved him forward. "Run."

Without even looking back, they took off. This, of course, attracted a lot of attention, and soon they had a whole herd after them.

"This seems oddly familiar," Taylor commented.

"Yeah. Maybe this is God's way of telling us not to come to the mall anymore."

"In here." Adam motioned towards a clothing store, not understanding the three groans.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is." It was the same woman as last time. "Another dressing room?"

"Make that two," Zac said, pointing at Adam. "We have another person with us."

She nodded and led them quickly back to the dressing rooms and unlocked two rooms. "There you go."

"Tay, Adam - you two pair up. Zac, you're with me."

Taylor slid into one of the rooms, Adam right behind him. He slumped against the wall, rolling his eyes. "Ugh, I hate being chased. You think they'd have something better to do."

Adam grinned. "Look on the bright side - you're getting in your cardio workout."

Taylor laughed, and Adam pushed his hand against his mouth. 

"You're supposed to be quiet, remember?"

This only caused Taylor to laugh harder.

"Tay," Adam whispered, pressing his hand more tightly against Taylor's mouth, trying to stifle his laughter.

Taylor tried to stop laughing, breathing as deeply as he could through his nose. "Ah un eeeth." 

"What?"

Taylor rolled his eyes. How did Adam expect him to speak clearly if his hand was still pressing against his mouth? He grabbed his arm and pulled it down. He must have pulled too hard, because Adam lost his balance and fell into Taylor. Taylor slammed against the wall, Adam falling against him.

This time it was Adam who laughed, but his laughter was soft. He pushed himself up halfway to look at Taylor. "Sorry," he breathed.

Taylor felt like he was frozen. His mind seemed to have stop working. "Um..." was all he could managed to get out. He could feel his heartbeat speeding up, and he could feel Adam's breath, hot against his cheek, faster than normal. "Um..."

Their head were coming closer and closer together. It was happening so slowly, almost as if it were happening in slow motion.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and the two jumped apart. Taylor forgot he was practically against the wall, so when he jumped back, he hit his head. "Oww," he groaned.

Adam bit back a laugh. "Are you okay?" he asked, his laughter showing in his words. 

"Tay? Adam? It's clear."

Taylor, rubbing the back of his head, stuck his tongue out at Adam. "Just open the door."

Giggling softly, Adam opened the door. "Your brother is a klutz," he said to Zac.

"Hey!" Taylor was still rubbing his head. "You're the one who made me hit my head."

"Guys, come on. That's enough," Isaac cut in.

Taylor was about to ask him what his problem was, but stopped himself just in time. Isaac was just worried. 

"Okay, boys, follow me." Denny appeared seemingly out of nowhere, making Zac jump. He led the boys out one of the store's side doors, where the car they'd came in was waiting, and opened the car door to the backseat. The boys quickly got in, and Denny shut the door firmly and climbed in the front.

The backseat was rather crowded with all four boys back there. But nobody complained because, this time, there were no cameras flashing or reporters screaming at them, and no girls crying and screaming and shouting. This time they had made a safe getaway, and no one cared about the crowded backseat.


"That's it for going out in public."

Taylor and Isaac, who had been on their way downstairs, stopped and stood in the stairwell, listening. 

"Walker, please."

"Do you realize how seriously our boys could have been injured? They are not going out unescorted like that any longer."

"They weren't injured, and they weren't unescorted. In fact, if Denny hadn't been there, the boys might not have gotten home as safely and quickly as they did. You can't just take away their privileges for something that isn't their fault."

"I don't care, Diana. They're celebrities - certain sacrificies must be made. They knew what they were getting into when they signed on. I'm not taking away something that the media and public hasn't already."

"Walker, sweetie, I know you're worried, and so am I. But that is not fair, and you know it. Besides, what are they supposed to do all the time - sit around the house and sulk?"

Walker sighed. "I guess you're right. I just...I can't stand the thought of them being hurt. I know I push the boys too hard sometimes, and maybe I should let them off the hook from time to time, but I just want the best for them."

"I know you do. And the boys know it, too, and they love you for it. But they won't love you if you take this away from them."

There was soft laughter, and, silently, Taylor and Isaac turned and went back up the stairs.





Chapter 8

"What do you think of this shirt?" Jessica held the shirt up in front of her, her head cocked to the side as she observed her reflection in the mirror.

"Jess!" Taylor rolled his eyes. "I've told you a thousand times before that I have no fashion sense whatsoever. A stylist dresses me!"

"Oh, come on!" she pleaded.

"Fine, I think..." Taylor squinted his eyes and studied his sister critically. "I think it clashes with your skirt."

Jessica chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment. "You're right," she said, turning and leaving the room. "You don't have any fashion sense."

Taylor's mouth dropped open but, before he could think of a good retort, she was gone. Sighing, he reached over and flipped on the stereo.

Diana's voice drifted up the stairs. "Taylor! Adam's here!"

"Okay!" Taylor stood and studied his own outfit in the mirror before heading out of the room. Adam was coming up the stairs, and Taylor quickened his pace slightly, not watching where he was going.

Suddenly, Taylor tripped over one of Mackie's toys and fell against Adam. It was a good thing he was standing there or Taylor would have banged into the wall. "Sorry," he said, pushing himself up. His heart almost stopped when he heard the song that came onto the radio. It was "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer.

The two boys stared at each other, Taylor's blue eyes meeting Adam's brown ones. They didn't talk, just kept looking at one another. Their lips slowly met, the kiss soft.

Adam pulled back, looking into Taylor's stunned face. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Do you...?"

"Yeah," Taylor said softly, answering Adam's unfinished question. Leaning back in, they kissed once more. Taylor let his arms go around Adam's waist, pulling the boy slightly closer, Adam's arms going around his neck.

"Tay," Adam whispered, his breath hot on Taylor's ear.

Taylor shuddered slightly, feeling as if his heart were going to pound right out of his chest. Feeling a little braver, he layed a few kisses on Adam's jaw and his lips brushed his neck. He heard Adam's breath catch, and he smiled. Suddenly remembering his family was downstairs, he pulled back, out of Adam's grasp. "We need to talk."

Adam nodded. "Wanna go to my house? Nobody's home."

"Yeah, let's go."


They didn't sit close to one another, and they didn't talk. They just drove over to Adam's house in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. They went into the house and up to Adam's room, sitting on the floor, their backs against the bed, space between them. For a long while, they just sat there. Finally, the silence was broken.

"I can't believe that actually happened." Taylor's voice was soft.

"Do you wish it hadn't?"

"I...I don't know. One part of my brain is saying that it was nice, and the other part is saying that I'm a freak and a sicko that should be locked up for even thinking I enjoyed it. And, of course, there's that little voice telling me it's wrong and I'm going to hell. I don't know which is right."

"Taylor, you're not a freak, and you're not a sicko. Don't ever think that about yourself, okay?"

Taylor looked at Adam. "Well, what do we do now?"

"There are a few options." Adam turned so he was facing Taylor, and Taylor did the same. They sat with their legs crossed, knees touching. "We can forget it ever happened, or..." Adam looked down at the floor. "Or, we can do it again." Taylor didn't answer him, and he looked up, afraid that he had pissed him off somehow.

"I don't want to forget it." Taylor's voice was barely audible.

"So, should we?" Adam's voice was shaking.

"No, I don't think we should right now." Taylor caught one of Adam's hands in his own. He brought it up to his face and inspected it, then brought it to his lips and kissed the tips of his fingers softly.

Adam could feel Taylor's hands trembling. The touch of his lips to his skin sent bolts of electricity through his body, and all he could do was stare in wonder at the person who was making him feel this way.


"Why are you in such a good mood?" Diana asked, turning back to the stove.

Taylor leaned against the refridgerator. "You know, you're the third person who's asked me that. What's the deal? Can't I be happy once in a while without raising a national crisis, or do I have to play the part of the sullen rock star all the time?"

Diana laughed. "You can be happy. I was just wondering what made you that way so I can continue it. I love seeing that smile on your face."

"You're so corny, Mom."

"I know, but I can't help it." Diana took his arms and moved him to the side. "Now, if all you're going to do is get in my way, I want you out of my kitchen."

"Well! If that's the way you feel!" His mother's laughter trailing behind him, Taylor left the kitchen and headed up the stairs and into his room. Plugging his earphones into the stereo so he wouldn't disturb Isaac, he lay back on his bed.

He and Adam had stayed over at his house for a little while longer, mostly talking. They had decided not to tell anyone what had happened between them until they saw how far it would go. Then they'd tell Mallory and maybe their families. They did kiss again before Adam brought him home, and that's why Taylor couldn't keep that stupid smile off his face. He was saddened by the thought that he wouldn't see Adam again for a couple of days - they'd both decided that they should stay away from one another for a while as they sorted their feelings and thoughts out. But he didn't really mind. It would be worth the wait.


Almost a week later, Taylor and Adam saw one another again. Taylor thought his heart was going to burst, but he tried to keep his composure as he slid into Mallory's front seat. "Hey, Mal. Hey, Adam." He glanced back at Adam who was sitting in the middle of the backseat, slouched down.

"Hey, Taylor."

Mallory lifted her sunglasses up and looked at Taylor carefully. "Something's different about you." She narrowed her eyes before letting the sunglasses slip back into place and backing out of the driveway.

"Don't worry, Tay - she said the same thing to me."

"Really?" He glanced back at Adam quickly. "How odd."

"Okay, you guys, what's going on?"

Taylor shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Pursing her lips, Mallory turned the music up so conversation was impossible and drove to the park. Once there, she shut the car off and got out, walking down to the equipment. Taylor and Adam had no choice but to follow. She waited until they were seated in the middle of the play set before speaking. "Seriously," she said, leaning back. 

Taylor looked away, studying the objects on the play set. There were swings, slides, monkey bars...all sorts of fun things for children to do. However, the park was usually deserted, just as it was now.

"Hey." Adam's soft voice drew Taylor's attention away from his thoughts and back to reality. He looked at Adam. "Should we tell her?"

"Yeah, I guess. She won't ever leave us alone if we don't."

Mallory waited patiently for one of them to tell her, but it was written all over her face that she already knew what they would say.

"The other day, Taylor and I...well, we sort of kissed."

Mallory bounced up and down excitedly. "I knew it! So, what's the deal? Are you two, like, a couple now or something?"

"Well, we haven't exactly decided that yet."

"Oh. Well, do you need some privacy? I'll go back to the car if you want."

Taylor exchanged glances with Adam before shrugging. "Okay."

Mallory stood and made her way down to the ground. "Just take it easy, you two. Remember, little kids play on this."

Taylor and Adam laughed, but fell silent as Mallory walked away. They heard the car door slam, but continued to just sit there for a few minutes before even looking at each other.

"Listen, Taylor, I...well, I liked it. I want to do more of what we did the other night. But I need to know how you feel about it."

Taylor remained silent.

"Taylor." Adam took his hand.

Immediately, Taylor jerked his hand away. He stood up. "I can't do this, Adam."

"Do what?"

"This! You and me! It just can't happen! I can't do it!"

"Why not?"

"Because-" Taylor stopped. "Because I don't want to."

"Yes, you do."

"Don't tell me what I want or don't want to do."

Adam circled Taylor slowly. Taylor, breathing heavily, stared straight ahead. He was pissed. 

"You're scared, aren't you?"

"Scared of what?" Taylor spat.

"Of feeling the way you do. And I know how you feel." Adam stopped close behind Taylor, his breath hot against Taylor's cheek. "Well, I have news for you. I'm scared, too. But why would you want to fight something that you know you will like? Something that you know will feel good and will feel right."

Taylor turned and shoved Adam away. "There's nothing right or good about this!" He shook his head. "You don't understand, Adam! You didn't grow up the way I did! My parents - no, my DAD was constintly breathing down our necks, telling us how wrong and dirty homosexual people were and how they were going straight to hell. He told us always to stay in the path of the Lord, which means marry a woman, have children, and die!" The line 'I let my father mold me' from an old Madonna song flashed briefly through his head.

"Taylor, you're not going to go to hell! Everyone says that everything happens for a reason, and the Lord has a plan for you. Do you believe that?"

Taylor shrugged reluctantly, then nodded.

"So if two people of the same sex fall in love, that means it was supposed to happen." Adam took a step towards Taylor. "That means the Lord wanted it to happen. Wouldn't you think?"

Taylor looked down, also taking a step forward so he and Adam were face to face and looked up. "I guess so."

Adam placed his hands on Taylor's arms, running them slowly up and down. "And if two people of the same sex want to...want to kiss, then that has to be right also, yes?"

"Well..." Taylor reluctantly placed his hands on Adam's hips, playing with the hem of his shirt. "Well, I suppose."

"Do you think it's still wrong?" Adam whispered, his face just inches from Taylor's.

"I'll tell you tomorrow," Taylor answered breathily before kissing Adam hard.


Taylor wasn't sure how long he and Adam stood there before a car horn jerked them out of the little world they had built themselves. Releasing Adam, he stepped back and tried to catch his breath. He looked around, mostly out of habit, but there were high walls on the play sets to keep kids from falling, and no one could see in or out. His heart felt as if it was about to pound out of his chest.

"Oh, my god," Adam said. He closed his eyes. "I...that...wow."

"Yeah."

Adam opened his eyes and looked at Taylor. "So, what? Are we a couple now or something?"

"Well..." Taylor took Adam's hand. "I'm game if you are."

Adam squeezed Taylor's hand, and that was all the answer he needed.





Chapter 9

Mallory looked at the two boys in the rearview mirror as they slid into the backseat. "Something tells me that you two weren't up there talking."

Taylor glanced at Adam, who's lips were puffy from kissing. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was a little messed up. He could only assume he looked the same. He pressed his leg against Adam's. "No, I guess we weren't."

Mallory laughed. "I don't mind if you kiss, but if someone sees, it's your own fault. Now, where are we going?"

"I don't know. Can we just drive around for a while? I'll give you some gas money."

"Yeah, maybe we can find a backroad or something," Adam piped up.

Taylor playfully hit him in the stomach. "Shut up!"

"Ow!" Adam clutched his stomach. "Geez, maybe we should go to the emergency room."

"Do you see how mean he is?"

"Me? I'm the one being abused!"

Mallory shook her head. "You two sound like a couple already."

"Is that a bad thing?" Taylor joked.

Mallory just turned up the music once again, this time for a different reason.


After Taylor and Adam had called their parents and gotten permission to stay out until curfew, they just drove around for a while. They didn't really go anywhere, and if they did stop, they didn't stay long. By the end of the night, Adam had his arm around Taylor and Taylor had his head on Adam's shoulder, drifting in and out of a light sleep. He could hear bits and pieces of the conversation around him.

"...he's pretty tired, isn't he?"

"Yeah. I don't think he sleeps very well at night. But who can blame him? I can't sleep at his house, either."

Taylor roused himself long enough to lift his head and tell them not to talk about him. He felt Adam's grip tighten around his shoulders and let his head fall back onto his chest.

The next thing he knew, Adam was shaking him lightly. "Taylor, time to wake up."

Taylor sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?"

"A little before 12. Mallory's taking you home now. We're about five minutes away."

"Oh." Yawning, he leaned back against the seat. Lifting his hips, he pulled out his wallet. "How much money do you need, Mal?"

"Don't worry about it, Taylor. I'm not."

Taylor nodded and slid his wallet back into his back pocket. He ran his hand through his hair and tried to keep his eyes open. He lightly pinched Adam's arm. "Keep me awake," he commanded.

"You just can't get enough of me, can you?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure that's it."

"You can hide it all you want, but I know the truth." 

"Just shut up and kiss me."

"I like it when you're assertive." Adam smiled before doing as Taylor had commanded. 

"Guys?" Mallory said a few minutes later. "Hate to break it to you, but we're here." As if to prove her point, she stopped the car and put it in park. Leaning out the window, she punched in the code to the gate before driving inside.

Taylor pulled away from Adam slightly, resting his forehead against Adam's. "Okay," he said before turning his attention back to Adam. "I guess I'll see you...tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll come by around noon."

"Okay." Taylor kissed him lightly as the car slowed once again to a stop before turning and opening the door. "Thanks, Mal. Drive safely."

"I will, you little horn dog," she replied cheerfully.

Taylor rolled his eyes and slammed the door behind him. Mallory waited until he was inside before zooming off.

Taylor shut the door behind him, carefully relocking it, and punched in the security code. He made his way upstairs, shutting off the lights that had been left on for him. Pausing in his parent's bedroom doorway, he told them he was home and wished them a good night before disappearing into his own room. He was glad his brothers were asleep because he didn't know how he would explain the way he looked now. Slipping off his clothes, he slid into bed and stared at the ceiling. A lovestruck smile crept onto his face as he thought about that night.

Rolling onto his side, he sighed and closed his eyes. He knew he would dream about Adam.


The next day, he and Adam tried their hardest to act like just friends, although Taylor was sure Isaac and Zac wondered about the little looks they gave each other. He knew he couldn't help it, though, and knew that Adam probably felt the same way. And even though he wanted to just be close to Adam, it was fun this way too, because he knew his brothers knew there was something weird going on. He liked knowing something his brothers didn't, although he doubted very much that they'd want to know this.

Taylor fought the giggles at dinner that night with Adam seated beside him. He felt like his date was over for his parents approval. He did let a few giggles slip out, though, and that provoked his mother to ask him if he was all right. All he could do was nod helplessly.

After dinner, he and Adam went up to Taylor's room. They sat on Taylor's bed as close as they dared, talking to one another in a hushed whisper. When Zac walked into the room to get a notebook, Adam stopped mid-sentence and Taylor started laughing again.

Zac gave them a weird look. "You guys are being even weirder than normal." Giving them another look, he grabbed his notebook and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Taylor leaned towards Adam, still laughing. "He thinks we're being weird," he whispered in a conspiritual tone.

Adam laughed as well. "Thanks, I don't think I could have figured that one out myself."

"You know, we're being totally obvious."

"No, you're being totally obvious, but no one seems to notice, so who cares?"

Taylor pinched him lightly. "I'm not being obvious."

"Oh whatever, Mr. Hehehe."

Cracking up, Taylor fell back onto the bed. Covering his mouth, he tried to swallow his laughter, but it just kept spilling out. He couldn't help it, though - he was nervous.

"Taylor." Adam squeezed his leg right above his knee a few times, smiling and trying not to laugh at the giggles it caused. "What have you been smoking?"

"Nothing." Taylor took a few deep breaths and propped himself up on his elbows. "I'm just nervous."

"I know." Adam let his hand stay on Taylor's knee, resting lightly. "I am, too."

"What time are you supposed to be home?"

"Oh, I don't know. I should probably be going, though..."

Taylor sighed. "Yeah, okay. I'll walk you down to your car." Standing, he offered his hand to Adam and helped him up. Leading him over to the door, he leaned against it and slid his arms around Adam's waist. "I dreamed about you last night," he said, his voice dropping back down into a whisper. 

Adam lowered his head and brushed his lips against Taylor's neck. "I dreamed about you, too."

Taylor closed his eyes, fighting the urge to sigh. He felt as if he could die right now and be happy. He'd never thought he could feel this way, but here it was, and it was scary and overwhelming, but he never wanted it to stop.


A few weeks went by, and the boys continued to see one another. Taylor wanted to spend every available moment with Adam, but knew it was impossible, so he held tight to the few moments they could be alone and not hide what they felt. He knew he was starting to fall for Adam, and he didn't want to. He wanted time to stop for just one day so he could maybe sort things out. But the world kept on spinning, and time never stopped, and Taylor stayed just as confused and scared as ever. He wasn't getting nearly enough sleep, and had started to get headaches. He might have been falling for Adam, but he was also falling apart. He hid this from his parents as well as he could and, when they announced that Hanson had an interview scheduled for later that week in New York, Taylor forced a grin and said, "Great!"

Walker explained to them that, while they were taking a break, he didn't want the public forgetting who Hanson was. The interview was going to be focused on new material and what the boys had been doing. Although Taylor was less than psyched about it, he did perk up when he heard Adam was coming, too, and the end of the week saw them to New York and the building in which the interview was going to be held. 

It took forever to be prepped because the interview was going to be televised. There were a couple of magazines there, and Walker set up a few short interviews with them, complete with pictures. He broke the news as gently as he could to Isaac, Taylor, and Zac, and told them that as a reward they would get to stay in New York for a couple of days and do whatever.

Taylor knew the TV interview would take the longest. He sat in between his brothers and forced himself not to look around. Adam was standing in the corners, out of the view of any of the cameras, and it took almost all Taylor had not to look back at him once and a while. Especially when the relationship question came up. But he just laughed and said no, he was too busy.

Two of the magazines were more than happy to do the interviews right there, but the third wanted to do it in another studio. By the time the boys were ready to head over to the other studio, it was about five and they were hungry and tired. They were in no mood to mess with the large crowd of fans that had gathered, but forced themselves to be sociable.

Taylor smiled and waved, explaining that there was no time for photos or autographs and that he was sorry. Suddenly a girl appeared out of nowhere, shoved a piece of paper in his hand, smiled, and disappeared. He was so shocked that all he could do was stop. It took a little push from Zac to get him moving again, and soon he was in the van that would take him and his brothers for more pictures.

Studying the piece of paper, Taylor saw that it said 'Naomi' and listed a number. When Adam sat down beside him and asked him what it was, Taylor just shrugged and shoved it in his back pocket.




Chapter 10

Finally, they were free to go. After checking into the hotel, Walker told the boys he would take them out to eat. Isaac and Zac agreed, but Taylor said he wanted to sleep off a headache, and Adam said he was going to go with Denny to get some food.

To make his story credible, Taylor laid down on the bed and curled up under the covers. He waved good-bye to everyone and, after the door closed, waited five minutes before picking up the phone and dialing a number. It rang several times before someone answered.

Taylor cleared his throat as the rain that had been graying the sky all day began to fall. "Hi. Um, is...is Naomi there?"


Naomi gasped as she fell back onto the bed. Taylor ran his hand up, up, up her leg, kissing her neck as she rolled her head back. She gasped, and bit her lip. "Taylor," she breathed.

He continued to kiss her, running his free hand up and down her body. Suddenly, she was pushing at his shoulders. "Taylor. Taylor!" She nodded towards the door and he turned to look.

Adam stood there, dripping wet, watching. Taylor met his eyes before Adam turned and ran. "Adam! Adam, wait!" Taylor pushed himself up and tried to run after him, pulling his jeans up at the same time. He fell in the process, but managed to get his jeans fastened before stumbling to his feet.

"Taylor, who was that?"

Taylor just shook his head and bolted down the stairs and out the door into the pouring rain. He caught Adam's arm, stopping him. 

"Let go of me, Taylor! Let go!"

"No! Adam, please."

Adam spun around. "Who was she? Huh? Who the hell was she!" He pushed Taylor, watching him stumble and fall to the ground.

"Adam, come on. It's not like that, you gotta believe me." 

"Oh, yeah? Then, tell me, what's it like?"

Taylor stood up slowly, pushing his soaking blonde hair out of his face. "I'm scared, all right? I'm only sixteen!"

"Well, so am I, but you don't see me going around and banging some random girl!" A clap of thunder sounded, giving Adam's statement some kind of edge.

"God, Adam, can't you stop and think, for one minute, that I can't think of any other way to deal with it?"

"Deal with what? That you're gay?"

"I'm not gay!" Taylor's tone was biting. A long stretch of silence followed, interrupted only by lightening and thunder. 

"So, so what are you saying?" Adam's voice trembled. "Do you wanna break up or something?"

"No. I-no." Taylor took a step forward, capturing Adam's hand in his own. The street was deserted, so they weren't afraid of anyone seeing them, but that was the least of their worries at that moment anyway. "I just...I feel like I need you so much. And it is so scary." A tear rolled down Taylor's cheek, mixing with the rain. "I don't let myself need people, you know. But here you are, and I feel like, if you ever went away, I would just die."

Adam hesitated only a second before he grabbed Taylor, hugging him tightly as he sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere." He closed his eyes, trying not to think of the scene he had witnessed just minutes earlier. "Nowhere."


Taylor finally calmed down enough for Adam to convince him that getting back up to the room was the best thing he could do. Taylor kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," and Adam tried to reassure him by telling him it was okay, and it was over. When they opened the door to the room, Naomi was sitting on the bed. She stood as they entered.

"I...I'm sorry for staying, I just wanted to make sure he was okay. Um, is he?"

Adam glanced over at Taylor, with his soaked clothes, messy hair, red eyes, and sullen expression and felt like asking her if he looked okay. He just took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"Okay, well...I'm just going to go. I won't tell anyone, I promise." Looking at the two once more, she picked up her purse and left.

Adam sighed and pulled Taylor to him once more. Kissing the top of his head, he released him. "Okay, I think you need a hot shower. Come on." He felt like a mother as he led Taylor to the bathroom and turned the water on for him. 

"I just...I'm really sorry, Adam." Wrapping his arms around himself, Taylor looked down, tears sliding down his cheeks once more.

"Taylor, I told you it was okay. I mean it. I love you, and nothing-"

Taylor's head snapped up and he stared at Adam. "What?"

For a minute, Adam was confused. Then what he had said came rushing back into his brain. "I...uh...well, I think I love you."

Taylor sank down onto the closed lid of the toilet. "Really?"

"Yes." Adam took Taylor's hands and pulled him back up. "Really."

"Oh, my god, I'm so glad." Taylor threw his arms around Adam, practically knocking him over. 

"You're choking me."

"Oh, sorry." Taylor released Adam, and took a step back. Noticing that the small bathroom was quickly filling up with steam, he told Adam that he would take a shower, then Adam could, and then they would talk later. Watching Adam leave, he felt a little lonely. He halfway wanted him to stay, but he knew he wasn't ready. He couldn't even tell Adam that he loved him, too. Sighing, he pulled off his sopping clothes and stepped into the shower.


By the time Walker, Isaac, and Zac got back, the boys had gotten themselves dry, Taylor was asleep, and Adam was sitting at the foot of the bed, watching TV.

"What are you doing?" Zac asked, shoving Taylor's feet aside to sit beside Adam.

Adam looked back at Taylor, who gave a soft moan and turned over, but didn't wake up. He turned back to Zac. "Watching TV."

"With no sound?"

"The caption's on."

"Don't worry about waking Taylor up; he's a hard sleeper." Zac grabbed the remote and turned the volume up as if to prove his point. It was kind of blown out of the water when Taylor told him to turn the TV off.

"Zac, I told you not to wake your brother up," Walker scolded.

Zac grinned. "Whoops. Sorry, Tay."

Taylor pushed himself up and leaned against the headboard. "It's okay," he said, rubbing his eyes.

Adam had to fight a smile. Taylor looked so cute with his hair sticking up like that.

"Well, boys, I'm going to bed. You know where I am if you need me, and please try to keep it down." Walker started towards the bathroom, which had a door leading to an adjoining room. He and Isaac would be sharing a room, and Zac, Taylor, and Adam would be sharing the other. Isaac was in bed with a headache. He'd crashed as soon as they'd came back.

"Sure, Dad." Taylor ran his fingers through his hair before laying back down. "Put the TV on mute, Zac. I'm going back to sleep."

"Yeah, I think I'll go to sleep, too. I'm pretty tired. I'm not used to this weird schedule."

Zac pouted. "You guys are no fun."

"You should go to bed, anyway. Take all the sleep you can get," Taylor advised. 

"Whatever. I'll get the lights."

Adam waited until Zac had turned off all the lights, casting the room into complete darkness, before sliding over to Taylor and wrapping his arms around him. He kissed his neck lightly. "Do you have any shorts I can borrow?"

"No. Just sleep in your boxers."

"Zac? Do you have any shorts I can borrow?"

"Why do you need shorts? Sleep in your boxers, man."

Adam sighed. "You guys are weird," he said, but did as they said. This time he stayed on his side of the bed.

A little while later, just as Adam was starting to drift off to sleep, Taylor nudged him.

"Are you asleep?"

Adam cleared his throat. "No."

"Okay, good. I can't sleep."

"Come here." Adam held one arm out to Taylor.

Taylor scooted across the bed and laid so his head was on Adam's shoulder, Adam's arm was around him, and he was laying more on Adam than on the bed. He sighed happily. It was silent for a long time except for Zac's deep, even breathing.

"You know we can't fall asleep like this," Adam said groggily, breaking the silence.

Taylor sighed again, sounding on the edge of sleep. "Don't worry about it."

And that was the last thing Adam heard before falling asleep.


When Taylor woke up the next morning, it took him a moment to figure out where he was. After all, while he was used to waking up in strange places, he wasn't used to waking up in someone's arms.

Sitting up slowly, he heard the shower running in the bathroom. He sighed with relief when he saw Zac was still fast asleep. Not bothering to slide back over to his side, he climbed carefully over Adam and walked over to the bathroom door. He knocked lightly before twisting the knob and going inside.

Isaac poked his head out of the curtain. "Oh, hey, Tay."

"Hey, Ike. Feeling any better?"

"No, not really. Do you have anything I can take?"

"Uh, no, but I'll check with Adam. He usually carries stuff like that around, for some strange reason."

"Okay, thanks. Just don't let Dad know, okay?"

Taylor raised his eyebrows. "Whatever you say." 

"It's not some big government secret or anything, it's just - well, you know how Mom and Dad worry."

"I didn't say anything."

"Just go get the stuff, will ya?"

"Yeah. I'll be right back." 

"Great."

As Isaac pulled the curtain closed once again, Taylor turned back to the door and that's when it first started. It just seemed like everything rushed in around and on him, and he couldn't move except to close his eyes, which just made everything worse. All the things he'd done in the past few months came back to him, as well as all the things he'd ever heard about how wrong it was. He could feel himself start to freak.

"Tay? Hey, Taylor - are you okay?"

Taylor tried to take deep breaths, telling himself to calm down. He could feel himself shaking slightly, which he didn't understand. But he couldn't stop that, either.

"Tay!" Isaac, wrapping a towel hastily around his waist, shut the water off and climbed out of the shower and over to his brother. "Hey, look at me. Taylor, open your eyes."

Taylor felt Isaac take hold of his arms, and just his touch comforted him. Taking another deep breath, he was finally able to open his eyes. "Dude, put some clothes on."

"What the hell just happened?"

Taylor shrugged out of Isaac's grasp, suddenly uncomfortable. He turned away. "Uh, you got out of the shower?" he suggested.

"Taylor..."

"I, uh, I'll go see if Adam has that stuff." 

"Taylor," Isaac started again, but Taylor ignored him and left the bathroom.

Taylor shut the door behind him and leaned against it. He sighed, wondering what had just happened to him. He couldn't explain it, though, so why dwell on it? Shoving the scene to the back of his mind, he pushed himself away from the door and walked over to the bed. 

After he checked to make sure Zac was still asleep, he leaned down and pressed his lips against Adam's.

"Tay?" Adam's voice was soft and groggy before opening his eyes, which were clouded with sleep.

"Yeah, it's me. I hope no one else in this room kisses you like that."

Adam smiled slowly and reached up, pulling Taylor onto the bed. "No, they don't." His arm went around Taylor and he sighed happily. 

"I wish I could stay here, but I came to see if you have anything for Ike. He still has a headache."

Reluctantly, Adam let him go. He motioned towards his bag. "I think I have something in there."

Taylor rummaged through the bag. Shoving aside clothes, a book or two, some CDs, a few batteries, and a pack of bandages, he finally found what he was looking for. Dumping a few of the Tylenol into his hand, he carelessly threw the bottle back into the bag and stood. "Dude, you have some weird stuff in there."

"What, have you never seen boxers before?"

"No, I go commando."

"That's sick," Zac said from the other side of the room, causing Taylor and Adam to jump. He rolled over and pulled his pillow over his head. "Now, could you guys please be quiet?" he asked, his voice muffled.

Taylor raised his eyebrows. "Sorry." After fullfilling Isaac's request and giving him the pain killers, he forced Adam to dress along with him. Checking in with his father, he grabbed his wallet, key card, and Adam's hand, and left the hotel room. 

"Taylor, we're going?"

"You'll see," Taylor replied, trying to tuck all of his tell-tale blonde hair into his hat as they rode in the elevator. He looked down at himself, dressed in torn, baggy jeans and a t-shirt 10 sizes too big. "Well, what do you think? Would you recognize me?"

"Actually, yeah, but that's just because I know you. Would you recognize me?" Adam was dressed in a similar fashion.

Taylor giggled and nodded. "You know, we look like a couple of punks."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Oh, yeah, we're badass!"

"Are you feeling okay, Taylor?"

"Shh!" Taylor hit Adam lightly in the stomach. "My name's not Taylor, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. What was it again? Killer?"

"That'll work."

"Why don't I get a fake name?" Adam whined jokingly.

"Do you want a fake name? Okay, how about Skull."

"Skull and Killer. Nice."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened. The boys swallowed their laughter and stepped out into the lobby, trying their hardest to look tough. Dozens of heads turned towards them as Hanson fans hoped to catch a glimpse of one of the famous brothers, but they barely gave 'Skull and Killer' a second glance. Denny glanced over, also, his eyes widening. As Taylor and Adam made their way through the crowd of people and out into the street, Denny nonchalantly exited the building and strolled over to them.

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're going out. Killer has already cleared it with his father."

"Killer?" Denny raised his eyebrows.

"You got it." Taylor clasped a hand over his mouth, once again attempting to swallow his laughter. Finally, taking a few deep breaths, he removed his hand. "Okay, let's go," he said as calmly as he could and started walking.

"Are you coming with?" Adam called, walking backwards as he talked to his brother.

"Uh, no. I got my cell, though, so call if you need to. Be back by twelve."

Adam nodded, then turned and jogged slowly to catch up with Taylor.


Chapter 11

Taylor and Adam had the time of their lives. They felt very sneaky, walking confidently through large crowds and barely getting any looks at all. There were, of course, a few girls dressed in very little clothing with several piercings and a few with tattoos that seemed to find them sexy, but they just smiled and ducked into the men's bathroom. Occasionaly, they ducked into the bathroom just to sneak in little kisses. The little nagging voice in the back of Taylor's mind telling him that it was wrong was even stronger since they were in public, but Taylor somehow managed to ignore it.

Stopping at the mall's McDonald's, the two boys got a drink and a large order of fries to share before sitting down. Adam dug into the fries, while Taylor just took one and devored it slowly. Noticing that he was the only one eating, Adam stopped and looked at Taylor.

"What?"

"Why aren't you eating?"

Taylor rolled his eyes. "Not this again."

"Yes, this again. Come on, this is serious. You didn't have anything at all yesterday that I know of, and you've had a total of two fries today. What's going on?"

"Adam, I told you before - I'm just not hungry."

"Why?"

"I don't know why!" Taylor bit his lip and lowered his voice. "Just let it go, okay? Please?"

Adam studied Taylor's face for a moment before sighing. "Only if you eat the rest of the fries."

Taylor made a face. "But they're all cold and greasy now. Besides, I don't like salt."

"Okay, I'll get you some fresh ones." Adam started to stand, but Taylor held his hand out.

"Fine. If it'll make you happy, I'll eat them."

"It'll make me very happy." Adam crossed his arms and watched as Taylor shoved the remaining fries into his mouth.

Making another face, Taylor swallowed. "Can we go now?"

Adam fought a grin. "Of course." Taking one last drink, he threw it in the trash and disposed the of the tray. Motioning to Taylor to lead the way, he followed him into the large crowd of people. Looking around to make sure no one was watching them, he nonchantly slipped his hand into Taylor's. Although he looked at him in surprise, Taylor didn't pull his hand away.



"What do you boys want for lunch?"

It was a little after twelve, and Adam and Taylor had made it back to the hotel without any problems. Now, they, along with Isaac and Zac, were down in the otherwise empty pool.

Taylor stretched his arms over his head before attempting to float on his back. "I had something at the mall." Knowing he was starting to sink, he pulled himself upright, ignoring the look Adam gave him.

"I'm not hungry." This statement was from Isaac, who was sitting on the side of the pool, his legs dangling in the water. He'd been really quiet, and Taylor wondered if he still had a headache.

"I'll take anything, just as long as it's edible."

That just left Adam. Realizing that Walker was now looking at him, and feeling as if it would be impolite to refuse, he shrugged. "I'll just have whatever you're having."

"Chinese okay?" Adam nodded, and Walker turned towards Zac. "Do you want to come with me to get it?"

"Sure!" Zac hopped out of the pool. "Just give me a minute, and I'll be right there."

"I'll be waiting."

As soon as the two were gone, Taylor pushed himself over to Isaac. "Are you okay, Ike?"

"No." Isaac brought his hand to his head. "This headache just will not let up."

"Maybe you're really sick. I think you should tell Dad."

"Tay, no. You're overreacting - it's just a headache. Besides, if I tell Dad, he'll probably make us all go home. Is that what you really want?"

"If you're really sick, yes."








"Come with me," Taylor whispered in Adam's ear before getting to his feet and walking out of the room.

A little confused, Adam followed him. A smile crept over his face when Taylor led him to the bathroom. "Not potty-trained yet, Tay?"

"Shut up." Taylor glanced into the hallway before shutting and locking the door as Adam flicked on the light. "I couldn't sleep, and we can't very well talk in my room with cranky Isaac." Taylor turned towards the mirror.

"Aha! You just couldn't bear to be away from a mirror that long!"

Taylor reached his arms up, stretching. "You got me."

"I know." Placing his hands on Taylor's hips, he slowly ran them up his sides.

Yelping, Taylor jumped away. Clamping his arms tightly to his sides, he faced Adam. "Don't do that!"

An evil grin crossed Adam's features. "Is someone ticklish?" He started walking slowly towards Taylor.

"Adam, no." Shaking his head, Taylor backed away, eyes wide. Soon he was against a wall. "No. Adam, stop it. Adam."

"Tay-lor." Adam wiggled his fingers. "I'm gonna get you, Taylor," he cooed.

Eyes even wider, Taylor tried to back up even though he knew he was against the wall, but it was hopeless. Adam began to tickle him as Taylor tried to contain his laughter and protect himself. Finally, he managed to grab Adam's hands, his laughter dying away. For a moment, neither moved. They just stood there, looking at one another.

Releasing Adam's hands, Taylor slid his own around his waist, pulling Adam closer and kissing him. Adam's hands never stayed in one place too long; they just kind of drifted where ever they wished. 

Kissing his way down Taylor's neck, Adam stopped just above the middle of his collarbone and left a little "vampire mark." Taylor sighed and closed his eyes. This time, when Adam ran his hands up and down on his sides, he didn't jump.

"Taylor?"

Both boys froze, their attentions turning away from one another and to the door.

There was a soft knock. "Taylor? Are you in there?"

"Avie," Taylor whispered for Adam's benefit. He cleared his throat and raised his voice. "Yeah, it's me. What do you want?"

"I need to go."

Taylor sighed. "Okay, hold on." He turned to Adam. "Get in the bathtub."

"What?"

"Get in the bathtub. I'll close the curtain. She's tired - she won't notice."

"Man, I feel like such a pervert," Adam muttered, but climbed into the bathtub and laid down anyway.

Taylor pulled the curtain into place, turned the light off and opened the door to a sleepy Avery. "Hurry up."

Avery rubbed her eyes. "What were you doing in there, anyway."

"Avie, do you have to go or not?"

"Yes."

"Then go!" Leaning against the wall, Taylor waited for his little sister to come out. Finally, the toilet flushed and she emerged. 

"What is that?"

"What's what?"

Reaching forward, she poked the mark Adam had left. "That."

Taylor shoved her hand away. "I got bit by a mosquito."

"That's not a mosquito bite."

"Avery! Would you just go back to bed!"

"You're grouchy," Avery pouted, but headed back to her room anyway.

Taylor walked back into the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain back. Offering out his hand, he helped Adam out.

"Man, of all the things I've ever wanted to do in my life, listening to your little sister pee was not one of them."

Taylor laughed. "Come on - let's go downstairs and watch TV or something."

Adam followed Taylor down the stairs and into the living room. 



"Taylor?"

Taylor rested his forehead against Adam's before carefully manuvering over him. He sat down beside him, leaning against the couch and pulling his knees to his chest. He was careful to cover the love bite. "Yeah, Mom?"

"What are you doing up?"

"Watching TV."

Diana walked over to stand in front of the TV. "But you have a TV in your room."

"Yes, Mom, I know. Zac and Isaac are sleeping and we didn't want to wake them up."

"Well, get to bed soon. You know I don't like it when you stay up all night."

"Okay." Taylor waited until Diana was gone before before rolling his eyes. "No one in my family wants me to get any action."

Adam laughed softly. "We'd better go back upstairs before your whole family hunts us down."

"Yeah, okay." Sighing, Taylor flicked the TV off and 






Adam kissed Taylor's lips lightly and started to turn away, but Taylor grabbed his arm and smiled before kissing Adam harder.

The boys ended up laying on the bed, still kissing, their hands drifting over each others' bodies. Taylor was alternately kissing and biting Adam's neck when a door slammed downstairs.

"Adam! Are you home?"

"Yeah, Mom."

"Will you come down here and help me, please?"

"I, uh, I'm sorta busy. Taylor's here."

"Oh. Okay. Well, when ever you get done, just come on down."

"Sure, Mom."

Taylor grinned. "You might as well tell her we won't be done for a while," he whispered, squeezing Adam's hand and capturing his lips for yet another kiss.<!--'"</title></head>-->

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