1. Cover your stump before you hump.  
  2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker.
  3. Don't be silly, protect your willy.
  4. When in doubt, shroud your sprout.
  5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner.
  6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong.
  7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
  8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
  9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize.
  10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter.
  11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick.
  12. If you go into heat, package your meat.
  13. While you're undressing Venus, dress up that penis.
  14. When you take off her pants and blouse, dress up your trouser
      mouse.
  15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member.
  16. Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.
  17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool.
  18. The right selection! Protect your erection!
  19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil.
  20. A crank with armor will never harm her.
  21. If you really love her, wear a cover.
  22. Don't make a mistake, muzzle your snake.
  23. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener.
  24. If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
  25. No glove, no love!
  26) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye.
  27) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver
  28) No one likes a horses ass, protect yourself at climax
  29) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt
  30) Avoid a frown, contain your clown
  31) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam
  32) Constrain the little head before you stick it in the shed
  33) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink
  34) The weasel you must surround before you please her on the ground
  35) Cloak the joker before you poke her
  36) Encase that torch before you paint her porch
  37) Cape your throbber before you bob her
  38) After detection sheath your erection
  39) Before you penetrate hide your magistrate
  40) Don't surprise her plug your Geyser
  41) Cover that lumber before you pump her
  42) Protect her wrinkle before you sprinkle
  43) She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle
  44) House your noodle then release your strudel
  45) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound
  46) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey
  47) Cage that snake then shake and bake
  48) Cover your peter it will be much neater 
  49) Coat that Labrador then allow him to explore
  50) It's always funky to cage your monkey
  51) It won't be funny with a coatless dummy
  52) It won't be fun with an unwrapped thumb
  53) It's not much money to catch your honey
  54) Don't be a fool cover your tool
  55) Hood that match then scratch that thatch
  56) Stitch that switch then itch her niche
  57) Wrap that tool to catch the drool
  58) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive
  59) Contain that sputum before you use him
  60) Restrain your log then plow her bog
  61) Glove your pecker before you check her 
  62) Coat that slimmer before you prime her
  63) Condomize then womanize
  64) Cover old pete then grind her meat
  65) Guard your peter before you meet her
  66) Check your list before you tryst
  67) Wrap your bait before you mate
  68) Can your worm before you squirm
  69) Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe
  70) Contain your lizard then tickle her gizzard
  71) Bag the mole then do her hole
  72) Cuff your carrot before you share it
  73) Jail your number then call the plumber
  74) Cover your vein then drive her insane 
  75) Wrap that pickle then slip her a tickle
  76) Protect your dink then fluff her mink
  77) Restrain your lantern then stick it in her cavern
  78) Hide ole harry then take her cherry
  79) Wrap that spout then bore her out
  80) Conceal your train don't cause her pain
  81) Guard your bridge then do her ridge
  82) Shroud your trout then make her shout
  83) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky
  84) Box your blister then poke her in the whiskers
  85) Wrap your spout to catch the trout
  86) Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel
  87) Cover your steamer before you ream her  
  88) Protect that fish then dip it in the dish
  89) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass
  90) Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret
  91) Clothe the boner before you hone her
  92) Got no protection? Can't use your erection!
  93) Cork your pump or you don't hump
  94) No unwrapped stags get between my legs
  95) Dress that erection to make a deflection
  96) Contain that shanker before you spank her
  97) Cap that seeder before you breed her
  98) Stop the stream before you cream
  99) Secure that ladder then drain your bladder
 100) Protect your screw to catch that glue
 101) Package your meat for a real neat treat
 102) Holster your gun then shootings more fun
 103) Canvas that trailer before you nail her
 104) Garage the tractor then attack her
 105) Net that grass hopper before you pop her
 106) Sock that wanger before you bang her
 107) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser
 108) Trim your hardwood then do her real good
 109) Garnish your oak then give her a poke
 110) Pouch your associate then go fornicate
 111) Smother your affiliate before you ejaculate
 112) Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates
 113) Catch that goat before it bloats
 114) Ensnare that barbarian then do her abdomen
 115) Restrain your hammer then wam bam her
 116) Prune that stalk then make her squawk
 117) Wrap that rod then please her bod
 118) Sheath that knife she ain't your wife
 119) House that bottle then mash her throttle
 120) Sash that hash then thrash that gash
 121) Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle
 122) Can your knob then throb her swab
 123) Contain old Doug then clean her rug
 124) Cover your limb before you swim
 125) Retain your bailer then impail her
 126) Rope your dope then make some soap
 127) Net your salamander then make salad in her
 128) Cap your flapper then sniff her snapper
 129) Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds
 130) Hat that chef then scramble her cleft
 131) Cover your stone before you bone
 132) House your hose then curl her toes
 133) Saddle your penis then straddle her mean ass
 134) Blanket your twitch then hump that bitch
 135) Shield your rocks then pond her box
 136) Cover old sly then do her dry
 137) Wrap your rail then fill her pail
 138) Glove your chimney before you come in me
 139) If your nude tube your dude
 140) Cloak your hitter then go split her
 141) Wrap your nipper before you dip her
 142) Can your spam then bam that mam
 143) Corral your ram then slice her ham
 144) Sheath your sliver then jab her liver
 145) Twist your wick then stick that prick
 146) Cover old Bart then dart her tart
 147) Shed old spot then do her slot
 148) Drawer your pip then split her lips
 149) Contain that leach then mash her peach
 150) Bag your elm then take the helm
 151) Constrain your gem to catch the flem
 152) Catch that head cheese or I won't spread these
 153) Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot
 154) Survey your land then plant her stand
 155) Before you drive her protect that diver
 156) Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt
 157) Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her
 158) Cover you post then slice her roast
 159) Blanket old juicy then plug old loosey
 160) Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon
 161) Contain that viper before you pipe her
 162) Tub that sub then rub her hub
 163) Wrap Mr. Clean then introduce her spleen
 164) Dam your giver then fill her quiver

Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten millon strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but Ph balanced for a woman.
Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey-- you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always a Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Cambells Soup Condoms: Mm, mm good.
The Carl's Jr. Condom: If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't 
    belong in your face...
General Electric condom:  We bring good things to life!
AT&T condom: "Reach out and touch someone."
Bounty:  The quicker picker upper.
Microsoft: where do you want to go today ?
Energizer: It keeps going and going and going....
M&M condom: "It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!"
Chevron:  use them?  people do.
Taco Bell: get some; make a run for the border
MCI: for friends and family
Double Mint:  Double your pleasure, double your fun!
The Sears latex condom: One coat is good for the entire winter
Delta Airlines travel pack: Delta's ready when you are
United Airlines travel pack: Fly United
The Star Trek Condom: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before