David Spade's droll wit shines in this clever episode about a surprise visit by Finch's estranged father. When Red Finch (Brian Dennehy, who starred with Spade in Tommy Boy) suddenly shows up with tickets to "Show Boat" and a desire to make amends with his son, the younger Finch is delighted and confused. He fears that his father is either dying, or having an affair. But the real reason is even more shocking to the womanizing Finch: Red has come to accept his son as being gay. "I'm not gay," retorts Finch. "Is this because I look like Ellen?" Also, Maya invites Jack over for dinner, but her apartment is robbed.
201 - The Experiment (9/23/97)
An article idea leads Maya to try to prove beautiful people get ahead in the job market, but then she falls for a male model. Meanwhile, Finch's "fear" of Jack-in-the-Boxes is revealed.
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin
Sounds
"Wait, I just remembered something! You're boring, and my legs work." - Finch
"Oh my God, not the cheerleader tryout story again..." - Finch202 - The Assistant (9/30/97)
Maya's bungling new assistant (Cheri Oteri) causes chaos. Elliott and Finch put fake "Words of the Day" on Nina's calendar and she humiliates herself on National Public Radio.
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn
Note: Well-known stand up comics Larry Miller and Cathy Ladman also guest star.
Sounds
"Can we just get on with it!?!" - Finch203 - Sweet Charity (12/9/97)
Maya hopes that Jack will lend her a hand in a charity she is involved in but loses faith when she sees what kind of help he is willing to give. Meanwhile, Elliott keeps getting snubbed by the office gopher.
by Marsh McCall
Note: Model Amber Smith makes a cameo.
Sounds
"You people are all whores!" - Maya204 - Old Boyfriends (10/28/97)
When Maya begins dating a much older man (Chad Everett), she discovers that Jack has a real problem with it. Meanwhile, Nina's flirtation with a window washer (Les Brandt) leaves her walking on air, until she causes him to fall off the side of the building.
by Steve Levitan205 - La Cage (11/4/97)
Finch dates Elliott's model ex-girlfriend (Stephanie Romanov) despite Elliot's advice not to. Meanwhile, Nina gets caught using company expense accounts for her own personal use.
by Jack Burditt
Sounds
"Is it cool in here or is it just me?" - Finch
"Ah no, my worst nightmare involves being covered in frogs." - Finch
"If you're waiting for a hug, you might want to pack a lunch." - Finch206 - King Lear Jet (11/11/97)
Jack must part with his tickets to a "King Lear" performance in London, and when he gives them to Elliott and Nina, Maya balks. Meanwhile, Finch and Elliott vie for the affections of Carmen Electra, who plays herself.
by Danny Zuker
Sounds
"And hopefully that concludes Mutual of Omaha's Nipple Safari." - Maya
"Back off, you pasty freak!" - Finch207 - My Dinner with Woody (11/18/97)
A Woody Allen impersonator (Ed Crasnick) is drawn to Maya after she pens a favorable article about the filmmaker. Meanwhile, Jack loses his sight for a day.
by Steve Levitan
Note: Woody Allen has a voice-over cameo (his first sitcom "appearance").208 - Twice Burned (11/25/97)
Jack tries to get Hannah, his daughter, into a prestigious school, and begs Maya to vouch for his great fathering skills, despite the fact that she burned down the school when she attended. Elliott and Nina bond over a blues singer's music.
by Pam Brady
Note: Dedicated to the memory of cinematographer Robert Caramico, A.S.C.
Sounds
"I am the can-do king." - Jack
"Oh, I hope you're wearing a cup." - Finch209 - Jesus, It's Christmas (12/16/97)
'Tis the season for Finch to get his jollies when he schemes to get Elliott to take him on a Christmas Caribbean photo shoot with a dozen models. Meanwhile, Maya arranges for a generous cash gift for the office custodian, Jesus Santos (Luis Antonio Ramos), who spends it all on her. This leads up to one of the best endings of a JSM episode ever.
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin
Sounds
"All I know is I'm going to be eight chicks-a-chasing." - Finch
"No way. The last time I took you on a photo shoot with me, you walked in on Kate Moss taking a shower." - Elliot "It was an innocent mistake. I was trying to walk in on Elle McPherson." - Finch
"So close, yet such a nerd." - Finch210 - Elliott the Geek (1/6/98)
When Elliott's favorite teacher dies, the staff discovers a terrible secret about the suave photographer: he was a high school nerd. Meanwhile, Jack teaches Finch how to be assertive, but Finch takes his advice too far.
by Marsh McCall
Sounds
"You couldn't score in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas." - Finch
Note: This line was first spoken by Spade in a Hollywood Minute on SNL.
"If this is about stuffing a sock down my pants, I'm way ahead of you." - Finch211 - In the Company of Maya (1/20/98)
Maya asks an attractive writer (David Lee Smith) out on a date -- and he files a sexual harassment suit. Meanwhile, Elliott finds out that his new girlfriend (Heidi Schanz) is a spokeswoman for a hemmorhoid cream.
by Pam Brady
Sounds
"If this isn't the pot feeling up the kettle..." - Elliott
"I know this guy in the CIA. He turned me on to this place called 'Radio Shack'." - Jack212 - Pass the Salt (1/29/98)
by Jack Burditt
213 - Sewer! (1/13/98)
Nina gets Jack an orangutan (Sammy the Orangutan) for his birthday. Maya spends the night in a sewer, while a reporter friend of hers (Lisa Edelstein) is visiting and starts a relationship with Elliott.
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn
Sounds
"Hold your calls, America, we have a winner." - Finch
"Done, sold, Bob's your uncle!" - Jack
"Shoot it, stuff it, hang it on the wall!" - Jack
"Crank it, spank it, smack it on the bing-bong!" - Finch
214 - The Walk (2/3/98)
The staff tries to uncover the reason for easygoing Jack's sudden outburst. Maya thinks it's because he's having an affair in Brooklyn. Meanwhile, Finch follows Elliott's advice and plays hard to get with Courtney from accounting (Megan Gallivan).
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn
Sounds
"Maybe... twice as sweet as no, half as good as yes." - Finch
"Believe me, I know the recipe for love: one pound of grief, two cups of crap, and sprinkle on the moxie." - Finch215 - College or Collagen (2/26/98)
Maya and Nina battle for the soul of a college student from Maya's alma mater. Meanwhile, a bridge game becomes an obsession for Jack and Finch.
by Marsh McCall
Note: The college student is named Karey Burke after the senior Vice President of prime time series at NBC, a champion of the show.
Sounds
"I worked a summer at a nursing home. Why do you think my apartment is full of afghans?" - Finch
"I have pointy elbows and I am not afraid to use them." - Nina216 - Nina in the Cantina (2/24/98)
Nina's former lover, rock star Nick Hewitt (Michael DesBarres) doesn't remember her.
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin217 - Amblush (4/16/98)
Jack sends Maya in his place to a college lecture, where she is grilled by angry feminists. Meanwhile, Nina realizes too late that silence is golden during a photo shoot with Elliott, who tricks her into thinking that the gold paint she wore for the shoot can't be removed.
by Pam Brady
Sounds
"That was tough love." - Finch218. Nina's Bikini (3/3/98)
Nina gives her famous bikini to the Model Cafe, who puts it in a terrible location by the bathrooms. Finch and Maya steal it back for her. Jack poses for boudoir photos.
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin219 - The Kiss (3/19/98)
It seems Elliott and Maya may have the hots for each other as sparks fly between them during an apartment-hunting excursion. Maya accompanies impulsive buyer Elliott to look at what sounds like a perfect place. Elliott immediately falls in love with it, but the elderly landlady prefers to rent to a "nice married couple." In desperation, Elliott introduces Maya as his new wife. The ruse works, until Elliott panics and suddenly plants a big, wet kiss on Maya. It leads to an even bigger, wetter kiss, leaving Maya and Elliott to wonder how they can face each other at the office. Meanwhile, Jack puts Finch under surveillance.
by Tom Maxwell & Don Woodard220 - Jack's Old Partner (4/9/98)
While trying to write his memoirs, a guilt-ridden Jack decides to hire his old partner (Tom Poston), whom he fired just before the magazine took off. Meanwhile, Nina prepares herself for a tax audit.
by Marsh McCall221 - Bravefinch (3/26/98)
After Finch complains about doing petty errands, Jack hires a personal assistant (Jim Wise), whose crazy personality only emerges when he's around Finch. Meanwhile, Maya mistakenly wears Nina'a nicotine patch.
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn
Sounds
"If I get killed, tell Courtney in accounting I love her, and erase all the porn on my computer." - Finch
"It's go time!" - Finch222 - The Eve of Destruction (5/5/98)
A visit from Maya's mother---one of Jack's dreaded exes---threatens to ignite a civil war at the Blush offices. Jack's three former wives, known affectionately as "the Leech," "the Vulture" and "the Jackal," seem to have the upper hand in making his life miserable. So when "the Jackal," a.k.a. Eve (Jessica Walter), shows up claiming to visit her daughter, Jack immediately suspects that she's after something from him. Maya just wants to keep the peace, but she has a hard time trying not to take sides as the bickering heats up. To make matters worse, the staff contends with a spit-and-polish efficiency expert (Dan Butler).
by Jack Burditt & Pam Brady
Sounds
"Father Time sure gave her a good spanking." - Nina223 - The Emperor (4/23/98)
When she unintentionally insults a flamboyant clothing designer (Dana Carvey) and must make an apology, Maya discovers that being humble just doesn't suit her. Meanwhile, Jack "coaches" Elliott on how to woo a woman (Marcy Kaplan).
by Don Woodard & Tom Maxwell and Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin224 - War and Sleaze (5/12/98)
Jack and Finch go paintballing with disastrous results. Maya's date, a married congressman, throws his back out in her apartment and threatens to drag her into a publicity nightmare if she calls for help.
by Marsh McCall225 - Rescue Me (4/30/98)
While donating blood at the office, the staffers fondly reminisce, via flashback, about how Jack "rescued" them from careers that were not exactly fulfilling.
by Steve Levitan
Note: Levitan also directed this episode.
