You find your party in front of an old hobo's shack. The shack is apparently a run-down outhouse with a Playskool Big Wheels parked outside. An old hobo hobbles out and greets you. "Welcome to my castle, strangers!" "Where's your shitter? I gotta take a major piss." * Adian smacks the hobo upside the head with his mug! "The guest bedroom is inside. Why don't you all come in for a spell. I made brownies!" im shure you did You hit the hobo with your mug and he doesn't seem to notice. but i dont want any ........ bastard! "Der. Brownies good." * TheDreamyDM the hobo passes out some magical brownies. * Adian pushes Duuurrrr inside * Duuurrrr crams the brownies in his mouth. * Duuurrrr stumbles forward. * Alty looks at the brownie fearfully * Adian casts detect evil on said brownie * Seph dodges Duuurrr, and looks for the can You find nothing, Adian. ....... he lives in an outhouse... where the hell did he get brownies? Except a delicious brownie. "they hold no evil... but I still will not eat it "Gimme it." Upon further inspection you find that the hobo has tricked you, Dur. * Adian hands it to Duuurrrr They are not brownies, but in fact macaroons. * Duuurrrr grunts. "Where in the HELL is your bathroom? I'm gonna piss on your floor in a second." "This not brownie." "I bet you'd like to come in!" "JUST FUCKING PISS ALREADY! NOBODY CARES! "I knew it! EVIL! "If you insist!" hey mr hobo, wich way to the nearest town? "Not evil. Macaroon." The hobo pulls his pants down and urinates on Adian. ......... "You can find the nearest town 78 miles to the West." * Adian casts his healing spell on the hobo .... roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d6 and gets 6." HA! YOU DIE! why are you rolling? you do not roll yet. .... one in six chance to die 6 being said chance you have to roll 1d6 first.to make sure it works. then roll again. ..... roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d6 and gets 5." ..... dick! there. you miss. * Seph gives up looking for the damn toilet and pisses on the Hobo's bed ewwww... "That toilet?" * Adian blames Duuurrrrr thats one pissed off hobo... or is that pissed on? * Seph comes back relieved. The hobo says you are spending too much time here and dies violently before telling you about the secret entrance is in his shed that leads to a dungeon filled with treasure and wacky monsters. Much better. :D I know how to move things along. And one of those things is dropping a boulder on Adian. ...... stupid dice bot * Alty enters the dongeon "TREASURE!" "Duuurrrr, smash stuff until you find the entrance." ..... shouldn't I get a saving throw? I haven't dropped it yet. * Duuurrrr follows Alty inside the shed and starts punching at stuff. damn * Adian follows the idiot... and Alty You find the entrance easily, because it's a giant door that says "entrance" "Me can't find dungeon." woohoo! You guys goin' in? I don't go first * Alty goes into the dungeon * Seph takes up the flank and follows the motely crew in moneymoneymoneymoney * Adian enters the dungeon Okay. * Duuurrrr follows Alty in. Wait. Lemme write up a description. "Gold gold gold gold gold GOLD gold gold GOld gold goLD GOLD GOLD gold." nice song Duuurrrr :P "Me wrote it myself." You enter a large opening after going down a few flights of stairs. You can't see very well, because none of you thought it wise to get a torch. You can hear the dripping of water off the cave walls. There is a cave opening to the West. And, for future reference, a torch magically pops into Alty's hand. hot damn! ...... stupid warrior Oops. Exits are to the South and West. ok. go. * Alty heads west * Duuurrrr looks at the west exit. just so long as its not the way i came The cave opening is man-made. * Seph sits on the top step and pours himself 600 ounces of wine Oh yeah. North exit leads back outside. Sorry. ok * Adian heads west too * Duuurrrr looks up at Seph. "You coming?" "I'll catch up to you." * Alty looks through the opening "heloo! any mosnter in there?!" * Duuurrrr grunts and follows the others. You find yourselves inside a medium-sized rectangular room. There's a large treasure chest sitting in the center. Stalactites and stalagmites line the floor and ceiling. The walls seem rather damp and covered with moss. You get no response. * Seph begins to drink. * Alty aproches the chest "moneymoneymoney" * Adian puts his foot in the middle of Duuurrrr's back and kicks him toward the chest * Duuurrrr shoots forward and falls down. * Adian whistles innocently The moss on the walls comes to life and attacks the party. It tries to attach itself to the members, but fortunately misses all. Alty, roll for init. roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d6 and gets 5." * Seph is back at the top of the stairs, drinking heavily The moss monster attacks first. damn * Duuurrrr gets up with his helm fallen in front of his eyes. "What happen? What happen?" The moss monster hits you for 8, Alty. Dur, what do you do this round? ouch (I stumble around blindly.) * Duuurrrr stumbles around blindly. "Who turn off lights?" Argh. You're not gonna fight? All right. You stumble around blindly. (I will once someone helps me :D) Adian, what're you doing this round? I wish to hide in the shadows like any good cowardly cleric damn coward Ok. Seph, what're you doing this round? thats it no healing for you (Poor Alty. I'm blinded, Adian's hiding and Seph's drinking.) Doh! I forgot to have Alty attack. Alty, roll 1d6 roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d6 and gets 1." You hit. yay! Roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "TheDreamyDM rolls 1d20 and gets 16." i just realized thats not..a hit.i forgot.sorry.dont worry.you just need to get better than 10. so roll 1d20. I'm drinking. im talking to alty. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 1." D: I'm laughing oO Alty, you accidentally throw your sword. damnit But. It hits a stalactite which falls on Adian. Adian, roll 1d6. oops :P roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d6 and gets 5." HA! You're hit. doh Roll 1d20 for damage. * BondageDice --> "TheDreamyDM rolls 1d20 for damage. and gets 14." ..... I die now... right? hes dead no I don't roll for damage. you do. so. roll 1d20 for damage. roll 1d20 for damage * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d20 for damage and gets 14." ...Ok you're dead. I dead x__x The moss monster senses death nearby and breaks battle to devour Adian. Alty, roll 1d20. auch! fuck! roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 8." Roll for damage. 2d4*2(since moss monster broke battle) * BondageDice --> "TheDreamyDM Dice Error: Illegal characters in input!." roll 2d4*2 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 2d4*2 and gets 10." *** Adian has quit IRC You kill the monster. *** TDE has joined #pantsrp augh *** TDE is now known as Adian yay! what happened? i killed it! * Duuurrrr stumbles into a wall and falls on his ass. For exp: the party gets 120 exp. ^_^ alty gets a 100xp bonus FOR ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. hotdamn! Continue. I take another drink * Alty uncovers Duuurrrr's eyes "Hello. " Also, the ghost of the hobo appears and sodomizes Adian's crotchless body before resurrecting him. boo big guy (This is the best DM EVER) Haha! YOU ASS! (lol) And. You guys can get your treasure chest now. * Alty opens the treasure chest * Adian casts revive on the dead hobo Also, if you want, you can use this room as a resting place. You'll regain 2hp per day. roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d6 and gets 2." damn The hobo has disappeared. double damn In the chest you find: 2,500GP , a Naturalist Barryminster doll, and a Ring of the Undead. * Adian takes the ring * Alty takes the gp and ring MY RING! or just the gp.. MINEEEEEEEEEE! * Duuurrrr looks at the doll. * Adian dons it! "He naked." Adian puts on the ring and is killed instantly, because only the dead can wear it to regain life. Thus on a living person it's the direct opposite. * Alty looks about for her sword AUCH! bitch..... You find your sword behind a stalgmite. well.... I'm dead now.... so then I must be alive! =P * Duuurrrr picks up the doll. * Alty picks the sword up and sheathes it The doll comes to life and, after sodomizing Adian, resurrects him. Because inanimated objects just love that stuff. * Adian twitches and tosses the ring at Duuurrrr * Duuurrrr doesn't notice the ring hitting him. Oh yeah, Sephy earns a 50xp bonus. For acting drunk and staying in character. lesse... 2 hp a day huh? yes. You aren't being timed, so stay as long as you need. hey Duuurrrr.. see that ring? "No." yes you do * Alty rests fo 4 days "no way am i going anywhere untill im healed "You looney." You do so. ... * Duuurrrr stands in the same spot for 4 days. And for four days, Adian and Dur fight over the ring and Seph gets mega-drunk. * Adian sighs and skins his two remaining cats during the 4 days Continue. * Alty looks around the room Awesome. "We moving now?" It's a medium-sized cave room. i wanna know where the doors are first Oh! * Adian heads east to the first room then sits down two steps from seph One exit to the East. east it is * Seph is still at the top of the stairs hey, you, drunkard.... can I get some ale? * Alty heads east * Duuurrrr follows Alty. ...f....ffff....ffffuccckuyoooouuu... *hic* ...... I have no friends.... * Adian sighs Haha. The Barryminster doll gives Adian a hug and a Chili Dog. You head east. ....... detect evil! Exits are to the South and West. The Entrance is to the North. * Alty heads south ..... * Adian DETECTED THE FUCKING EVIL! You find yourself in a small room. An upturned table and chairs are strewn about the room. Exits are to the south and east. Argh. I mean West, North, and East. hmm... "Me want smash stuff Alty." * Adian sighs and gives the chilli dog to seph, gets up and follows Alty south HAHAHAHA!!! * Alty looks through the west exit ...I mean...You do so. :D It's the gift that keeps on giving, Galin. (Indeed. Too bad no one else gets the jokes!) You can't see very far down the dark corridor. * Seph throws the chili dog at Adian drunkenly * Duuurrrr goes after Alty. "We find gold yet?" * Seph stumbles drunkenly after the party * Adian takes Alty's torch from her and tosses it down the darkened corridor yeah, i got a whole 2500 gp A bag of gold falls from the ceiling into Dur's hands. "Hey....waitup....fuckerssssss" damnit adian go fetch the torch Duuurrrr * Duuurrrr looks a the gold in his hands. "Gold." "Bewaaaaaaaaaaare...." * Alty punkces adian and walks west * Duuurrrr puts it in his beard. *punches ow! You head west and find an intersection that splits to the North and South. gah... excuse me for being somewhat safe.... * Alty picks up the torch * Seph takes another drink and stumbles into the back of Duuurrrr next time throw something thats NOT usefull! * Duuurrrr turns around. "Hello." "terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......iblluyyy sorrrry..." You can hear a faint whispering from all around you. "Beware. Beware. Beware the Shocker." "Boy.......amidrunk..." .... you mean like Seph? shocker? or Duuurrrr? * Alty looks about (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!) The whispering fades away. Continue. (exits to the south and north, and east is where you came) * Alty heads north * Adian follows Alty "They went that way... me think." * Duuurrrr points where Alty and Adian went. You find a dead-end but you can feel a breeze coming from the North wall. * Adian leaves a trail of kitten parts * Alty examines the north wall The North wall's bricks are inconsistent with the other walls, and upon further inspection you find that it is made of bread crumbs and old Zagnuts. (because NOBODY LIKES ZAGNUTS) * Seph sits on the floor and drains his first mug's worth of Wine * Adian attacks the north wall with his bare hands! Adian, roll for success: 1d8 well.. at least hes usefull now... 600 ounces of wine in my gut.....600 ounces of wine....*hic* roll 1d8 * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d8 and gets 1." ...... feck man You strike the wall and it falls. (the lower your score the better) * Duuurrrr tries counting up to 600 on his fingers. BOOYAH! "That... that a lot of wine." "Youuuuuubetter beliefe it, drwarf" The wall crumbles to reveal a secret room. * Alty walks north my hand's sticky now... ew... "That more wine than TWO." A zombie appears and attacks from behind the wall. Roll for init, Alty. * BondageDice --> "TheDreamyDM Dice Error: Illegal characters in input!." ... crap.. zombie... damnit.. whats the numbers again? (1d6) roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d6 and gets 2." Ok. Alty, you attack first. cool roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 10." You miss. Dur, what're you doing this round? damnit * Duuurrrr looks at Seph a little while more and then follows Alty and Adian. The zombie begins to dance. "What happen here?" * Seph stands up hey durr, gimme a hand here * Seph teeters over to the zombie "Okey." Ok, Dur and Seph just used their rounds moving. I attack with my mug! * Seph draws the mighty Masamune from its sheath Adian, what're you doing? damnit Adian, roll 1d20. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d20 and gets 4." You miss. demn The zombie continues his dance. (my turn now?) (yes) roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 7." (Yes.) You miss. damnit Dur, what're you doing? * Duuurrrr smashes the zombie with his axe. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 16." go dur! You hit. roll 1d8 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d8 and gets 1." Dur, roll for damage. .... damnit... You hit the zombie for 1. (don't worry.) * Seph hacks at the zombie drunkenly (that's good.compared to the zombie.) Seph, roll 1d20. (will the zombie now be taking its own life?) roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d20 and gets 6." -2 because you're drunk. You miss. * Seph falls on his ass roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d20 and gets 2." .... * Adian falls on his face owie roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 15." No it won't. Because this was all a clever ploy to waste your time. Because as anyone who really played the game will remember. There was a second zombie. Who just stole 5GP while you all attacked his partner. "Gerroffme" Alty, you hit the first zombie. Roll for damage. 2d4. roll 2d4 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 2d4 and gets 4." You kill the zombie. yay ive never played the game before.. The other zombie is trying to hobble away. i killed it! (its monster party. :D ) attack! There's a second zombie. (MONSTER PARTY = WIN) * Seph throws his 600oz mug at the fleeing zombie Dur, what're you doing this round? * Duuurrrr keeps on smashing the first zombie. Dur, roll 1d20. dur! its dead! roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 13." THERE'S A SECOND ZOMBIE. YOU KILLED THE FIRST. Dur, you hit. Dur, roll for damage times two. (Duuurrrr ain't too smart.) ((INT=6!!!)) roll 1d8*2 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d8*2 and gets 16." (Cripes, max damage on a dead opponent.) wow.. You kill him. You each earn 250 exp. (He was already dead!) YOU RE-KILL HIM * Seph throws his 600oz mug at the fleeing zombie And. You earn a gold bonus of 120. whoo! Now that you're fight is over, you find that the room contains many scrolls and things. (can we kill the other zombie now?) (YOU ALL READY DID) (lies!) Alty killed the first. Dur killed the second. (durr atacked the one i killed, or so he said) ((Dur bashed the first one after it died)) (Durr continued to smash the first =\) (I did.) Alty, you hit the first zombie. Roll for damage. 2d4. roll 2d4 * TheDreamyDM --> "Alty rolls 2d4 and gets 7." You kill the zombie. OH. ... ((Duuurrrr=moron)) Argh. Adian, roll 1d20. If you're attacking the second zombie. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Adian rolls 1d20 and gets 3." .... You miss. Seph, roll 1d20 if you're attacking. I can't throw my mug worth a damn * Seph throws his 600oz mug at the fleeing zombie roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d20 and gets 19." You hit. cool Seph, roll for damage. 1d4 Seph.... from now on... you throw your mug roll 1d4 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d4 and gets 3." You do 3 damage plus a 5 point penalty to the zombie for breaking combat. The zombie...is...RE-DEAD. yay! You guys get 250 exp and 120 gold. go mugs! * Seph grins drunkenly and reclaims his mug * Alty wanders into the room and examines the scrolls (Is that 120 each, or 120 separated?) * Adian claims the gold Blah blah blah scrolls and crap in the small room. Exits to the south. Each * Alty heads south "that was pointless" EXP good You find nothing of importance, Alty, except a Scroll of Invisibility to Undead and in your search you find a small finger-shaped rod. * Seph vomits 600 ounces of beer onto the floor and stands up sober * Alty takes both the rod and the scroll * Duuurrrr slips on the vomit. You do so. welcome to sobriety again Seph Eh, fuck you. let me buy you a beer oh drunkard "Duuurrrr fall and can't get up." I have my own liquor * Alty heads south You trip over a small chest, Seph. OW! MotherFUCKER * Seph opens the blasted chest fine... A flask of 500 proof Atomic Injun vodka slides out. SWEET! You do so, Alty. * Seph takes it I needed a flask. * Duuurrrr manages to get up. * Adian wanders east and then takes the west route by mistake You are now back at the intersection. And this vodka...mmmmm. Exits to the South, North, and East. (though it was east?) (if i read that scroll, do i get to learn invisibilty to undead?) North. Let's go north. (yes alty) * Alty reads it then * Adian goes south then You do so, and learn the spell. lets go east * Duuurrrr follows Seph. You go south. Upon which you find a large open room. There's a large panel here. * Alty follow adian ..... I'm not pushing it As well as several corpses, their faces frozen with a very uncomfortable look. * Adian nudges a corpse ...Inspect the panel. So that you will know IT'S NOT A GIANT BUTTON. The corpse falls over. * Alty stands at the entryway an throws the finger shaped rod at the pannel * Adian hrms, fishes out the ring from earlier and places it on the finger of a corpse The corpse turns to dust. Oh, for chrissake. ... damn * Seph inspects the panel Because I only wanted an excuse to kill you. * Adian takes the ring back You find that there are two colored circles. One pink and one brown. Look, two circles. A pink and a brown one. pink? pink is pretty... The pink circle contains two medium-sized holes while the brown one has one small one. Shut up. "This remind Duuurrrr something..." down woman eait a sec... What is it, duuurrrr... "... gold." thats a familier reference... You hear a whisper from the corpse "Beware the Shoooocker......It's not as good as the hobo said it issss.." and then it disappears. "Oh, well we KNEW THAT" indeed hmm.. "Duuurrrr, play with the panels, see what you can do." "Okay." * Duuurrrr fiddles with the panels. * Alty stands outside the room * Adian steps into the doorway toe be out of harm's way You find that one of the holes is marked "Index" ... "On hole marked 'gold'." don't push it push the other one YOU CAN'T PUSH A HOLE. * Alty examines the finger shaped rod (sure you can) A whisper in Adian's ears explains COMMON SENSE. Duuurrrr, stick your index finger in the hole. oO "Which one index?" the the one closest to your thumb "Which one thumb?" the big fat one * Duuurrrr looks at his fingers. "They all big and fat." * Alty places the finger-shaped rod into the hole "The one you pick your nose with" The holes are sized for fingers, but that a finger-shaped key would only work. * Adian waits to die ...One of you should realize the finger-shaped rod you found is a key that will fit in the panel. And that you should use it. she did ((Alty did)) * Alty places the finger-shaped rod into the hole * Alty places the finger-shaped rod into the hole it fits. You hear a click. The finger sinks down inside the panel and you can't get it back. Nothing happens however. "Where gold?" looks like we need the other two... :D * Alty starts looking around the room .... * Adian tosses the ring to Alty It's a rather large room, but only the panel and corpses are inside. put it on the corpses ok.. * Alty uses the ring on a corpse I'm going to... hide in the shadow and heal you guys,, yeah... The corpse comes to life with a jolt. uhh... hi undead person... "Who he?" His face is still frozen in the uncomfortable position. "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" * Duuurrrr holds his ears. "ARG. STOP." "Only death will allow me sanctuary from the embarassing pain!!" * Alty tried to get it to stick its fingers in the lock * Duuurrrr punches the guy in the face. oh.. He takes off the ring and puts it back on, killing himself. in that case... .... damnit... shouldn't he turn to dust like the other one? * Alty cuts off its fingers :D 25 gp pours out of his mouth. ...Then he turns to dust. "He puke gold." .... special.... * Duuurrrr picks up the GP. again! again! its fun to watch Whaaaaaat? anyone see anymore keys? this is the last room we can get to... No it isn't. Go North then East. Back to the three-way room. * Alty goes Which lets you go farther East. * Adian follows! * Alty heads east! * Seph hangs here and waits You head east. Then east again. * Adian east! * Duuurrrr follows Alty and Adian. You are now in a room identical to the one with the tables and chairs only with one minor difference. Someone has cleverly left a packet of salt on the table. salt? .. I don't like this... Yes. detect evil! "... Adian big weak turd." You find nothing. * Alty casts invisibility to undead on herself shut up you little dwarf You do so. You are Invisible for 6 rounds. cool "Dwarf SUPPOSE to be little." but not stupid * Alty examines the room "Who you call stupid?" you I believe You see that Shocker has been written in blood across the North wall thats odd... some shocker... "Me smash you." * Alty aproches the north wall * Duuurrrr advances towards Adian. look boy.. I have magic The salt packet gingerly moves a little. "I HAVE BIG AXE." ... I have a one in six chance to kill you * Alty looks closely at the salt packet * Seph is sitting in the room with the panels, waiting for the rest to come back You see that it is just an ordinary salt packet. but it moved! "How many is six?" hmm.. Maybe it was the wind. .... one hand's worth plus one * Alty examines the table "... you looney." * Duuurrrr forgets about Adian and looks over at Alty. "What you doing?" You find nothing suspicious about the table. It's made of sturdy oak. trying to figure this room out "Salt tasty." * Duuurrrr grabs the packet. * Alty goes back to the north wall Before you can grab it the salt packet is pulled towards the North wall. It falls on the floor and then begins to slide towards the North. "Hey! Stupid salt come back!" ... * Adian yawns and sits down in a chair goasts? * Duuurrrr runs after the salt. The salt packet slides under the wall. * Adian covers his face with his mask * Duuurrrr runs headfirst into the wall. * Alty pokes the north wall with sword There is a half an inch of space about 4 feet wide from the bottom of the wall. * Seph takes a small sip of the 500 proof fire vodka in the flask The wall shakes violently as you hit it. Seph, as you drink the vodka you find it is much too weak for your iron stomach. This is PUSSY vodka! The wall slides open and you see a small goblin laughing at you. "Ahahaa! You fell for my trap!" attack! "Who you?" * Seph dumps the flask's contents on the floor and fills it with his cider "I knew this would work! Who can't resist salt!?" You realize he'd pulled the salt attached to a thin thread. * Duuurrrr grunts and lunges at the goblin. You attack the goblin. Because he's a jerk Dur, roll 1d20 roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 14." * Alty takes a ready stance You hit. * Duuurrrr punches the goblin in the face. dur, roll for damage (What's the roll for a punch?) 2d4 roll 2d4 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 2d4 and gets 5." You punch the goblin in the face a little too hard and his brains splatter against the wall inside the tiny niche. ewwww.... * Duuurrrr grunts again and sits down on the goblin's corpse, grinning. * Seph hears a sickening thud 3 doors away You earn 65 exp and 20 gold * Duuurrrr picks up the salt. * Duuurrrr takes out a dead rat and pours the salt on it. * Adian wakes up at the sound of the thud neh!? In the room is a flint and tinders and 2 torches, as well as another finger rod. * Duuurrrr munches on the rat. * Alty takes the rod you guys should take the torches * Adian stands, walks over to the room and takes a toch *torch * Duuurrrr stops chewing for a moment, looks up at Alty, then resumes eating. * Alty heads back to the pannel room * Adian follows Alty along, yawning again Exits in the room(with the table) are to the West and East hmm.. * Duuurrrr finishes his rat and notices everyone left. go west.... you just came west. * Duuurrrr gets up and heads in the opposite direction that the others left. the room im referring to is the one with the shocker on the wall. as the niche isnt a room.its just a small panel. * Alty places the rod in one of the remaining holes * Seph waits for everyone to come back Oh ok. You guys went back. (Except for me.) "What in the hell was that noise?" The rod sinks into the hole. All that is left is the brown. (I went in the opposite direction.) Durr.... was a bit violent dur splating a goblin across a room Oh. Where is the oaf? i dunno.. Exits are to the North * Duuurrrr looks around the room. * Alty heads to the room where the goblin was Where are you, Dur? hew went east Oh ok. from the goblin room i think You find yourself in a medium-sized tomb. The statue of a king guards the large, marble coffin. Exits are to the North and South, and the West. * Alty heads east hi dur * Duuurrrr looks at the coffin and starts to open it while singing loudly. * Adian yawns and uses one of the corpses in the panel room as a prop "Gold gold gold gold gold gold gold gold!" "Hello!" Found him. * Duuurrrr resumes singing. * Seph runs after Duuurrrr "Duuurrrr, what are you doing?" * Adian snoozes quietly "Pushing big square rock open." The coffin is too heavy for you to lift on your own. "It no budge." * Alty heads north "It's no rock. It's a coffin." "need help?" "Yes." Alty, you come to a large square room. There's a big Bouncy House in the center and a snack machine. * Seph helps Duuurrrr * Alty aproches the snack machine Also, while Adien sleeps he does not realize that the chair he is sitting on was overturned and he never turned it right side up. Therefore he is sitting on the chair leg, and probably enjoying it. The snacks look yummu. y argh (I returned to the room with the corpses and such Ohhh. Then you have saved yourself from another mind-blowing experience. Also, Seph and Dur lift the coffin. (I'm using one as a pillow ^_^) "whoo hoo!" * Alty buys some snacks * Seph highfives Duuurrrr Inside you find a pinata of a king. "You hit too high." "Look, Duuurrrr, it's a pinata" Alty, you find that the snacks are free. * Seph grabs a nearby femur bone and hands it to Duuurrrr yay! "What a pinata?" * Duuurrrr takes the femur. * Alty cleanes out the mahine and heads south "Smack the shit out of it. There's goodies inside." "Okey." * Duuurrrr starts smacking the pinata. The pinata springs to life. Its head spins around and attacks you. "It moving. Do I still smack it?" * Seph unsheathes his sword * Alty charges the pinata! "Yes!" Roll for init! * BondageDice --> "TheDreamyDM Dice Error: Illegal characters in input!." Alty, 1d6 roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d6 and gets 5." * Adian snooooze The pinata hits you. damnit It hits you foooor...(rolls)....1 damage. Alty, roll for attack. 1d20 roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 3." You miss. damn Dur, roll for attack. 1d20 roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 6." You miss. Seph, roll for attack. 1d20 roll 1d20 * TheDreamyDM --> "Seph rolls 1d20 and gets 14." You hit. ((With the sword)) 1d8 roll 1d8 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d8 and gets 3." You hit the pinata for 3 damage, but since he has zilch armor and is made of paper mache, you slice him in two. yay! "Yeah, take that!" * Seph flips off the pinata for good measure The three of you earn 150exp and get 130gold for the fight. Adian gets diddly squat for sleeping. * Alty examines the pinata remains You find: *snort*fuckyoubitch*snore* A boulder falls on Adian. And the zombies eat him. AUUUUUGH! what? no sadomizing him first? And you find 25 gold, a scroll, and a bunch of candy. * Alty takes the sroll *scroll * Alty reads the scroll * Seph shares the candy with Duuurrrr I was kidding about him dying. But for sleeping through most of it, he suffers a -1 CON penalty. The scroll is a Cure Light Wounds spell. * Duuurrrr snarfs down the candy. * Adian is sleepy... bite me * Alty casts cure light wounds onm herself You do so. Alty, roll 1d8. roll 1d8 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d8 and gets 8." You get 8HP restored. yay! Exits are to the South, North, and West. Continue. next stop.. south... * Alty heads south * Duuurrrr finishes his candy. "More?" You enter the long rectangular room. * Seph follows. * Seph gives Duuurrrr his share of the candy * Duuurrrr follows Alty and Seph. * Alty examines the room At the end you see a large stone head. * Duuurrrr eats the rest of the candy. The room is 60 feet long and only 35 feet wide. * Alty aproches the stone The stone head is shaped like that of the kind found on Easter Island. You do so. "Duuurrrr, punch the rock." "Yar." * Duuurrrr punches the rock. Nothing happens. "Nothing." The eyes of the head begin to glow. "Whaaaaaaaaaat do you want?" "Gold." do you know where the last finger key is? "Yes." where is it? "Also, why was that vodka so fuckin' tame, man?" "I am the Magic Mascot of Denny's. I will give you three items at your request." cool! i want he last key, a better sword, and lots of booze! I want a ton of the strongest Vodka in the universe Hey! Way to hog all the wishes, asshole. "GOLD. " i was gonna give the booze to you fine fine fine just gimme the key The Mu head spits out the small finger rod. * Alty takes the finger rod As well as 5,000 gold sacks for the three of you. Argh I mean.. three sacks containing 5000GP (Each?) Yes. cool! "GOLD GOLD GOLD." that makes.. What about my vodka? 7793 gp i have now! * Alty heads back to the pannel room As well as IM NOT DONE YET oh, sorry you get one more item request. * Alty waits A MUG MADE OF BACON! (You're sleeping FAR AWAY.) NO You are not in the room. lies Therefore you get no request. I want a ton of the strongest Vodka in the universe That's my request The Mu head enlarges and floods the room with Vodka. * Alty swims out of the room It quickly washes away through the cracks and you realize you should've asked for a barrel of it. Horseshit! The Mu head then sinks down into the floor and is gone. * Duuurrrr waddles in the vodka. * Alty heads back to the pannel room "Smells like Seph." You do so. Mmmm... You are now in the panel room. * Seph follows * Duuurrrr follows the others. * Alty puts the last key into place The key sinks deep into the panel. * Alty steps back You hear sliding as a trapdoor appears on the floor near the backwall. *** Adian has quit IRC It flings open as a ghoul floats up and cries "Two in the pink! One in the stink!", and then falls back down. Where's that asshole cleric... ... You hear a rumbling as a large octopus emerges from the trapdoor. (I AM DYING!!! WAHAHAHA!) "Who dares to steal my treasure!!" (i got away with an evil dead 2 reference as well!) i do asshole! Adian "BUWAHHHHH!!!!!" But he just left. You missed him. The octopus waves his tentacles around as he begins to attack. Alty, roll for init. 1d6 roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d6 and gets 3." You go first. Alty, roll 1d20. yay! roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 12." You hit. Alty, roll for damage. 1d6+1 roll 1d6+1 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d6+1 and gets 3." I want to cast Super Nova on it. You do 3 damage. damn Oh shit, I forgot to send you spell descriptions. hold on Dur, roll for attack. 1d20. at least i hit roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 5." I got your spell thing, Seph. Dur you miss. Okay All spells go last in rounds. So, cast now. * Seph casts Super Nova on the Octopus Do you have the material for it? Also, you don't have the dice roll for the spell. umm...sure. Ok, I'll believe you. Haha. See, all it takes is just not to be too drunk to see I'll allow your spell a 3d6. okay Plus a 5 bonus cause the octopus is weak against fire. roll 3d6 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 3d6 and gets 9." Seph, roll 1d20 first. oh yeah roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d20 and gets 18." You hit. roll 3d6 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 3d6 and gets 15." (Hell yes) You hit for 20. (HELL YES) hoit damn! The octopus has lost 5 of its arms. It cries out in pain and changes forms. The spell also takes 10 minutes for the cinematic to end. :D It puffs out and the remaining tentacles form small penguins ready to attack you with their tiny bath brushes. * Alty charges a penguin * Seph unsheathes his sword Alty, roll for attack. 1d6 roll 1d6 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d6 and gets 5." ack! i meant 1d20 sorry rol 1d20 roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 2." D: You miss. damnit Dur, roll 1d20. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 17." You hit. * Duuurrrr smacks one of the penguins with his axe. roll 1d8 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d8 and gets 4." Dur, you kill a penguin. "DUUURRRR SMASH." roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d20 and gets 6." Shit. The octopus changes itself into the hobo. He puts on a pair of surgeon's gloves. "Time for the Shocker boys and girls!" Alty you suffer 1 damage. (YOU RUINED MY NUTS.) Dur, you suffer 3 damage. The other penguins miss. Alty, roll for attack. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 3." You miss. danit * Alty readys a party heal light wounds roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 16." (you cant) Dur, you hit. roll 1d8 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d8 and gets 8." You kill another penguin. * Duuurrrr smacks the hobo. next round just anounceing my plans Argh. Dur, you'll have to wait next round. (Oh, nevermind. Penguin then.) Seph, whatcha doin this round? Attacking whatever there is to attack The hobo has snuck off from the battle to apply some serious Shockin' to Adian. Seph, roll 1d20. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d20 and gets 18." You hit damage roll roll 1d8 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d8 and gets 2." Horseshit! You wound a penguin. The penguins both miss. Alty, roll 1d20. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 12." yeah! You hit a penguin. damage roll. roll 2d4 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 2d4 and gets 4." You kill the penguin. yay! Dur, roll. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 7." One more left. You miss. Seph, roll. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d20 and gets 4." FUCK! I miss...HEAVILY The penguin hits Alty for 1. Alty, roll. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 7." you miss. dur, roll. damnit roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Duuurrrr rolls 1d20 and gets 9." You miss. Seph, roll. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Seph rolls 1d20 and gets 20." BOOYAH! You hit and hit well! hit CRITICAL HIT. hell yeah! (so...what do I roll now 1d8?) As you go to strike the penguin, you decapitate him and your blade sends out a wave that injures the Shocker for 8. You kill him. YEAH! yay! And the Shocker is almost dead as well. The Shocker is now attacking. And he misses. Alty, roll. roll 1d20 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 1d20 and gets 19." yay! Alty roll for damage. roll 2d4 * TheDreamyDM --> "Alty rolls 2d4 and gets 5." Roll again. I'll give you a half bonus roll 2d4 * BondageDice --> "Alty rolls 2d4 and gets 7." All right. You get an 8. cool And! You ram your blade through the heart of the Shocker. He cries out for his mommy before turning to dust. Good shot, Alty! burn in hell bitch! "You smash good!" The three of you are rewarded 4,500 exp. and 12,000 gold.