Till's Olympic Tragedy
By now,we all know that Till almost made it to the Olympics. He was close,but one little accident cost him his chance at Olympic gold. So,here's what happened on the day thet would change his life...
It is 1988, and a young man from what was then East Germany was preparing for the summer Olympics in Seoul South Korea. His name was Till Lindemann. Ever since he could remember,it was his dream to become an Olympic champion. Maybe it had to do with pleasing an ungrateful father or maybe this was to prove to himself that he could accomplish the impossible. Whatever the reason,his dream was about to come true. He had just became runner-up in the European championship. His specialty was free-style swimmiing. He was young,strong,and fast. Growing up,he was picked on in school and his father was an abusive prick. This was his chance to prove how much better he was than these people. After all,were they going to the Olympics? This is the day that will decide his fate. This is the final trial. One step away from his Olympic dream. Before the competition begins,he has to take care of some business. The women just so happened to be doing their trials as well. However, they were so pumped full of steroids, they could have easily been mistaken as men. Oh well,Till though,a hole is a hole. Every woman had her turn (even the lesbians!). He gave each one of these Olympic sluts the quickie of their lives. Till got his rocks off,but still felt weird about screwing women with more chest hair than him. Some time goes by and it is finally Till's turn to show the judges what he's got. He was very confident as was everyone else about his chances. But,oh no,our Olympic-bound hero did something not-so smart. While he was being fluffed by his Olympic whores,he had 5 cases of Heineken,7 bottles of Smirnoff,4 bottles of Jager and a diet coke. Just as he lined up with the other competitors,he felt the urge to pee!! Everyone was looking at him strangely as he was crossing his legs and jumping up and down frantically. He thought to himself,"Vell,as long as I can hold it until I get in ze Vater,novone vill notice."When the announcer gave the signal,the swimmers dived into the water. Till let it out while he was swimming. He was at a head start and looked to be the winner. But something strange happened. Till noticed that all the swimmers were gone! And the water turned red. Still confused,Till looked around in bewilderment. The audience had their hands over their mouths in complete shock. Then the announcer broke the silence,"Looks like ve haf ourselfs a pisser!" Everyone laughed so loud for the longest time. "Oh my Gott!", Till thought,"Zos bastards put something in ze vater to make it turn colors ven I pissed. Zis vas a trap against me!! A conspiracy!!" Needless to say,Till was disqualified, forever destroying his chances of going to the Olympics. For his act of inconsideration, he was also banned from professional swimming anywhere in the world forever. Some Hungarian eneded up being the winner. Realizing he had nothing to lose, Till broke both of the winner's legs out of jealousy. That silly Tilly!! What a pisser!!
Yeah, that Till, what a character! lol! Just couldn't hold it in! ~Missy
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