Reasons why I don't like Michel Foucault:
1. Nobody can pronounce his name. He is so French, our feeble American minds can't handle it. His first name is Michel. Not pronounced "Michael", but more like "Michelle". Man, what a girly name. And Foucault is pronounced Foo-Co. It's not spelled anyway like it should be. Argh.
2. Nobody can understand his philosophy. He uses all this big words, ones he made up, like "objectification" and "subjectification" and "normalizing" and abstract terms that have no clear definition, such as "objects of knowledge". Sure, it's easy to make sentences out of them. "You are normalizing society and causing a conflict between the state and your personal ontology through your objectification of that object of knowledge rather than subjectifying it." But explaining it is a different story.
3. Nobody can understand his philosophy! I've been trying to understand for two years! Whenever someone tries to explain, they say, "I'll try. But it's too hard." Thent they explain it some way totally different than all the other people who've tried to explain. I get more confused and hit my head.
4. His philosophy is so popular in policy debate for no reason! Some team gets up and reads 8 minutes of Foucault trash, they pretend to know what they're talking about, and the judge votes for them so the judge can pretend it understands and doesn't feel stupid. I loathe Foucault. He's cost me many rounds.
5. He is so bald. Not the cool kind of bald look, like Morpheus or Seal. But the "look at me. I'm a pseudo-intellectual starving-artist" bald look.
6. He's dead. So now I can never meet up with him in real life and punch him in the face.
7. He's probably in Heaven. God didn't want to admit he didn't understand Foucault's philosophy, so he let him in to sound cool.
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