vs.
- - I QUIT Match - -
vs.
- - 50 Point Bonus Match - -
vs.
- - "Anything Goes" Match - -
vs.
vs.
- - Tag Title #1 Contender Elimination Match - -
SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: CRIMSON KLINE
vs.
- - Barbed Wire TLC "Winner Take All" Match - -
A victory counts as two wins
(One for "Last Breath")
vs.
- - $10,000 Briefcase Match - -
vs.
- - Gauntlet Match - -
vs.
vs.
- - 50 Point Bonus X-Treme Elimination Match - -
vs.
- - Submission Match - -
- - METAL MAYHEM MATCH - -
MAIN EVENT
vs.
vs.
- - Elimination Match - -
SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: MC TERRIBLE
The show doesn’t open with any kind of pyros, or even in the main arena..
Instead, a panning shot of the bowels of the arena. Poorly lit and devoid of crowds and fanfare, it looks like the shipping and receiving area of the arena..
The shipping department has long since cleared out, finished unpacking the random equipment and light grids for the Pay-Per-View. A few stragglers were left behind, crew who were taking smoke breaks, finishing up charts of random order, taking advantage of a bit of down-time, before the chaos of the night can begin.
*Squirt*
OW! FIRE IN THE HOLE!
The camera pans around to see one man, using a single flashlight to see, hovering over a giant metal vat. We see a young man, a yellow sweater vest with a beige cummerbund and purple handkerchief, struggling to use a utility knife to open one of what appears to be quite a few dozen large crates, having been strewn to the side, unpacked from a recent truck, which now squeals its tires far away. The man throws a tube of toothpaste off to the side and grabs another from the box.
Well, I didn't need you anyway!
It's HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE!
His swagger and bravado seem to amuse several of the passers by, yet he pays them no attention. His focus is resolve, as he makes quick work of a single create, his eyes widening, as he surveys the treasure, apparently laden within!
HONKEY: With THIS, yes... I, the formidable HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE, ha ha, shall commit the most ultimate, awesomest prank the XWF has ever seen, bar none, tardy-har!
His fake, cheesy laugh, makes the stomach churn of several grown, roughnecks in the back, as they grimace at what the man now pulls from one of the creates.
A large vat, oval-shaped and humongous, is sitting empty next to HONKEY, as he plucks the treasure unseen, holding it above the vat.
HONKEY: YES! YES! I shall down Crimson Kline in... MWAHAHAHA! TOOTH PASTE! HE'LL NEVER FORGET IT!
With a devious smile,, HONKEY brushes and pets, one of the bottles of tooth paste, he pulls from the create, which is apparently rich and bountifully full of many of the tubes of toothpaste.
Holding one of the tubes, over the vat, he begins trying to open it. He seems to want to fill the vat to the brim with the paste. It looks as if the vat is large enough to carry quite a sum of
volume.
Quickly removing the cap, HONKEY begins massaging the tube, a Stark-raving mad grin plastered across his mug.
HONKEY: HE SHALL KNOW HE HAS THE BAD, ODOROUS BREATH! HE SHALL KNOW THAT HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE IS A MAN OF FINESSE! IS A MAN OF WEALTH AND POWER! THAT HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE.... MWAHAHAHA... IS NOT A MAN TO BE TRIFLED WIT--- OW!
*Squirt*
A large glob of toothpaste, has seemingly exploded from the tube, shooting like a rocket burst, straight into HONKEY's eye. It causes him momentarily blindness, as he scratches and paws at his face.
Not a drop of the toothpaste even made it into the vat.
HONKEY: HMM... hm... well, that was unexpected. It must be defective. No bother, Crimson Kline shall know... he shall KNOW...
As he speaks, HONKEY plucks another tube of tooth paste from the crate, unraveling it's width, squeezing for all he's worth. He
is solicited by another audible explosion.
*Squirt*
Shaking his head, another empty tube of tooth paste, falls to the ground, accompanying it's brethren. The tooth paste is dripping from HONKEY's hair, as he merely shakes his head, tapping his foot.
HONKEY: Okay... it's going to be a long night.
HELMUT and BONECRUSHER face off in the ring, Staring at each other. The two men circle, and HELMUT takes the lead by running at BONECRUSHER and slipping him into a headlock. HELMUT hip tosses BONECRUSHER onto the mat, then rolls him into an arm bar. BONECRUSHER breaks out of it and gets back to his feet. HELMUT gets up quickly, but not quickly enough, because BONECRUSHER grabs him and Irish Whips him into the ropes. HELMUT hits them and bounces back. BONECRUSHER gives him a spinning kick to the gut, then grabs him and pulls him into a DDT. HELMUT's head hits hard, and he rolls on the mat holding his head. BONECRUSHER runs to do a leg drop, but in mid air, HELMUT lifts a leg and hits BONECRUSHER's groin. BONECRUSHER doubles over and falls to the mat. HELMUT gets up. He grabs BONECRUSHER and locks in a Boston Crab. BONECRUSHER seems almost unaffected. He thrusts his body up, and tosses HELMUT off enough to roll out from under him. BONECRUSHER stands, and immediately catches HELMUT. He hits a perfect German Suplex on him. BONECRUSHER grabs HELMUT's head and slams it into the mat a few times. BONECRUSHER picks HELMUT up again and Powerbombs him. HELMUT isn’t quitting yet! He gets up in time to kick BONECRUSHER in the gut. He hits a Tornado DDT hard on BONECRUSHER. HELMUT gives him a boot to the head, and BONECRUSHER scrambles to his feet. He picks HELMUT up and gives him a Spinebuster into the mat, using all his strength. BONECRUSHER doesn't wait for HELMUT to get up. He picks HELMUT up and gives him a Vertical suplex. HELMUT stumbles up quickly, and clotheslines BONECRUSHER, but misses and hits him in the mouth. He puts BONECRUSHER in another Boston Crab, but BONECRUSHER reaches out and grabs the bottom rope. The ref makes HELMUT let BONECRUSHER up. BONECRUSHER stands, wiping his mouth with his arm, checking for blood. The two circle, and then BONECRUSHER takes the initiative. He spears HELMUT hard, AS A FIGURE STALKS DOWN TO THE RING!
HE'S GOT A NIGHTSTICK AND A PAIR OF HANDCUFFS!
IT'S XWF newcomer ERIC ANDERSON! He's thickly built, sliding into the ring. The two superstars merely look at him, shrug their shoulders and turn to attack him, but before they can, Anderson superkicks Helmut BLOK in the chin, twisting his body so he kicks him with enough force to send him reeling. Following that up with a haymaker to BONECRUSHER, the two opponents of the ring, are knocked flat on their ass!
Within a moment.. MY GOD! WHAT IS ERIK ANDERSON DOING? HE'S GOT THE HANDCUFFS!
HE'S JUST HANDCUFFED BONECRUSHER AND HELMUT BLOK TO ONE ANOTHER!
Stalking around both of them, he taps the nightstick against his palm, a menacing
glare striking the two men into a paralyzed state of fear.
Then... the brutality begins!
*CRACK* *CRACK*
With two swift blows, Erik ANDERSON SMASHES THE NIGHTSTICK INTO THE FACES OF BOTH HELMUT BLOCK AND BONECRUSHER! BLOOD IS FLYING EVERYWHERE! BOTH MEN ARE SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS! WHO IS THIS MADMAN, ERIK ANDERSON???
Dropping to one knee, Anderson begins raking the barbed wire against Helmut Blocks chin, dangerously close to his throat. IS HE TRYING TO KILL HIM??
Then, turning to BONECRUSHER, he takes the steep end of the bat, and STABS it into his sternum! BONECRUSHER BEGINS COUGHING UP SPURTS OF BLOOD, AS ERIC ANDERSON GOES ON THE ATTACK!
*CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK*
ERIC ANDERSON IS GOING TO KILL THEM!
THE REFEREE JUMPS BETWEEN THEM, ATTEMPTING TO SAVE THE TWO MEN'S LIVES!
REFEREE: FOR GOD'S SAKES, SAY I QUIT!
*CRACK*
The referee is knocked in the side of the hat from the lunatic, Anderson. He goes to reel back one more swing, but at the same moment, the shrieking, shrill screams of both Helmut BLOK and BONECRUSHER, scream out together!!
HELMUT BLOK & BONECRUSHER: I QUIT!
THE MATCH IS A DRAW! ANDERSON stalks around the ring, kicking the two men with his spare boot, smiling viciously.
Who IS this man?
NO WINNER
After ERIC ANDERSON is subdued and brought to the back, the X-Tron lights up as STEVE SAYORS makes his way down to the ring..
SAYORS: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.. Tonight, I have the distinct honor of inducting another XWF STAR into the class of LEGENDS.. Later tonight, I will be inducting EXTREME WARRIOR.. But right now, I am here to interview another former XWF STAR.. A STAR who may someday be inducted into that very elite group, but for now, he is surrounded in controversy. Ladies and gentlemen, via satellite from his home.. Please welcome..
SAYORS: SEWASIDE!
The fans erupt as a live image of the former XWF STAR hits the X-Tron..
SAYORS: Thank you, SEWASIDE, for taking the time to talk with us this evening.. Due to the terms of your firing, you aren't allowed to step foot in an XWF arena, so we appreciate you taking to time to talk to us from your home.
SEWASIDE: Terms of my firing?! Hold up, mothaf***a was you in a coma?! I was SUSPENDED not FIRED! After being SUS-PEN-DED I'd simply had enough of all this bulls***. How the f*** you gonna suspend somebody who isn't even under contract?!
SAYORS: Well then let's get right into it. A lot of questions have arisen about the way you were treated in the XWF. Some say you were treated unfairly, while others contend that you got what you deserved after the way you manhandled the owner of the company.. Your thoughts?
SEWASIDE: JONATHYN BROWN KNEW what he did was wrong! Now don't get me wrong, maybe there were other ways to go about things than I did. Believe me it wasn't easy walking out on that World title shot. I walked away from a shot at a title that ultimately would've been against a guy I absolutely DOMINATED in the past in RIGG. I mean you talk about a sure thing? Believe me it ain't a day that's gone by that I don't think about this s***. I was finally doing it! I was finally cementing my legacy in XWF as that of an absolute legend! Only to have all this politics and bulls*** f*** it up. It's f***ed up when you dominate the competition, and nobody in that ring can stop you so they get dirty on yo ass. I guess JONATHYN couldn't handle seeing SEWASIDE as the flag bearer for the company...
SAYORS: But surely you can't expect to beat up JONATHYN and get a free ride to the top.
SEWASIDE: Free ride? Did you see all the matches I'd won? I was beating JB's ass outta pure enjoyment! I didn't expect no free ride. How the f*** is it a free ride when your dominating your opponents week in and week out?!
SAYORS: And do you feel that letting T MONEY go was justified as well, or do you feel that was to further punish you and keep the Blood Hounds down?
SEWASIDE: Obviously they figured me and T at this current stage in our careers was unstoppable. JONATHYN knew there wasn't a name on his roster that could contend with us and he couldn't live with that. Guess he figured he gets rid of one the rest will fall. Well after he got rid of T and then I was suspended it was just too much bulls***. I came here to dominate IN THAT RING and that's exactly what I was doing! Only problem was my greatest competition was coming from upper management who obviously couldn't stand to see me get my shine on.
SAYORS: And how do you feel about the current Blood Hound line up? Let's start with DYNAMIC DYNAMITE.
SEWASIDE: DYNAMITE? That's my boy. He been repping for the Hounds and fighting the fight for the squad ever since he came in. He's shown me a lot far as loyalty goes. Times haven't always been easy since me and T left but he ain't never stop lettin' these mothaf***az know the Hounds is still THE dominant squad here in XWF.
SAYORS: And what about ARSON?
SEWASIDE: Tell you the truth he was brought into the squad strictly under DYNAMITE's recommendation. He's never disappointed though far as I'm concerned. He's built a name for himself in the XWF and has done the Hounds proud. I haven't talked to 'em since my departure but as far as I'm concerned I was willing to shed blood for 'em last I was in XWF, why would that change now?
SAYORS: Your thoughts on JUGGALO?
SEWASIDE: I really don't know the guy but he's looked impressive in the ring. Far as I'm concerned if he's good enough to KID MONEY and the rest of 'em and he reps this s*** till the death I ain't got nothin' but love for 'em.
SAYORS: Speaking of KID MONEY.. He was the only member who can call himself an original, but he seems to be taking a back seat to DYNAMITE right now. Your thoughts?
SEWASIDE: A backseat? I'd have to disagree. When has KID MONEY taken a backseat to anybody?! Me and this boy done put our lives on the line for each other and for you to say something like that Steve?! F*** YOU! DYNAMITE and Kid? I'ma ride for both of 'em, far as I'm concerned they two of the top talents in the federation, PERIOD.
SAYORS: There has been a lot of talk about whether or not you'd be the XWF World Champion right now had you not reacted the way that you did. Many say you did what you had to do, and they respect that, but a lot say that BIGG RIGG would have beaten you anyhow. How does the World division look to you, from an outside perspective, and do YOU feel you would have your hands on that belt right now had it not been for the boss' actions?
SEWASIDE: Listen Steve all you gotta do is look at the old days when SIDE was dominating RIGG EVERY TIME we stepped in the ring and draw your conclusion. Some things never change. Some people say I would have lost? Is that some people or is that SOMEONE who likes to surf the XWF website and vote for himself on all the polls a hundred times? Seriously your a reporter right? Do your f***in' job! Find some wrestling fans who really think RIGG can beat me! It can't be done!
SAYORS: I guess we'll never know, but it would have been an amazing match either way, as you are still in your prime..
SEWASIDE: Awready.......
SAYORS: Another question that the fans, and all of us are still very concerned about.. Exactly WHAT HAPPENED WITH JEM WILLIAMS? HE was never found, and you were never formally charged with - -
Without any music, JONATHYN steps out onto the stage. SAYORS stops dead in his tracks as he sees the boss looking straight up at the X-Tron, trying to get a view of SEWASIDE.. JONATHYN backs up down the ramp, staring at the image on the screen the whole time..
SAYORS: Um.. What can we do for you, sir.. Ma'am?
JONATHYN: Okay, YEAH.. It's MA'AM, thank you.. Who is this guy? Wait, don't tell me.. I remember you from somewhere..
SEWASIDE: You should.
JONATHYN: No.. No.. Wait a second.. Were you at the opening of that nightclub in LA two weeks ago. I think I danced with you.. Are you in Three 6 Mafia? I think I made out with you!
SEWASIDE: What the f***? Steve what's wrong wit this mothaf***a?
JONATHYN: Oh, WAIT A SECOND.. Are you a WRESTLER?
SEWASIDE: Quit playin' mothaf***a.
JONATHYN: And what's going on here?
SAYORS: It's.. It's an interview, sir.. Ma'am.
JONATHYN: An INTERVIEW? NO NEED! YOU GOT THE JOB, HOTTIE! I’m faxing you a contract RIGHT NOW and I want you here tomorrow night! YOU'RE SO HIRED!!
SEWASIDE: Hmmm......This COULD be interesting. Obviously JB's outta his f***in' mind.
SAYORS: Well, no.. It wasn't that KIND of inter..
JONATHYN: I just got myself some dark and lovely MAN POWER on my show! Take THAT, KLINE!!
JONATHYN raises his arms in the air, blows the X-Tron a kiss and trots back up the ramp, leaving SAYORS in shock and SEWASIDE just laughing..
SEWASIDE: Who the f*** could pass this s*** up? No REAL JONATHYN BROWN? Instead we got this..... well what the f*** would you call this? This definitely ain't JONATHYN BROWN.
SAYORS: Well, I guess we'll be seeing you tomorrow night.
SEWASIDE: You jus may.....
SAYORS: Thanks, SEWASIDE.. And I guess congratulations are in order..
SEWASIDE: Save it Steve I got bigger things in mind. Congratulate me later.
SAYORS: Ladies and gentlemen, XWF's newest roster member.. SEWASIDE!
The crowd can’t believe what they just witnessed! JONATHYN BROWN just enthusiastically hired back SEWASIDE!
DEANO and TONY CAPRETTI circle each other in the center of the ring for a moment. They lock up, and TONY CAPRETTI pulls DEANO into a headlock. TONY CAPRETTI lifts DEANO up, and nails an atomic drop. DEANO shakes it off, and gets to his feet quickly, but TONY CAPRETTI stays on the attack and hits with him with lefts and rights backing him into the corner. TONY CAPRETTI whips DEANO across the ring, and runs at him. TONY CAPRETTI goes for a spear into the turnbuckle, but DEANO moves out of the way and TONY CAPRETTI makes contact with the ring post. DEANO walks over, and lifts TONY CAPRETTI to his feet. He whips TONY CAPRETTI off the ropes, and lays him out with a flying lariat. DEANO walks over to pick TONY CAPRETTI up, and TONY CAPRETTI hits him in the gut with a hard right hand. TONY CAPRETTI gets to his knees, and starts punching away at DEANO until he makes it to his feet. TONY CAPRETTI locks up with DEANO and lifts him up high in the air bringing him down with a spinebuster, but he hurts his shoulder in the process. Both TONY CAPRETTI and DEANO are down, and the ref starts a ten count. 1...2...3...6...7...8...9 DEANO finally gets to his feet with help of the ropes, and he walks over to TONY CAPRETTI who is on one knee. DEANO picks TONY CAPRETTI up by the head, and lifts him up on his shoulder. DEANO spins around, and slams TONY CAPRETTI down to the mat with a powerbomb type maneuver. DEANO stumbles backwards into the corner out of exhaustion. TONY CAPRETTI starts to recuperate, and by time DEANO gets to him he is back on his feet. DEANO and TONY CAPRETTI start trading punches in the center of the ring until TONY CAPRETTI grabs DEANO, and whips him off the ropes; TONY CAPRETTI lays DEANO out with a hard side kick, and goes for a cover; 1…2.. kick out by DEANO. TONY CAPRETTI looks a little flustered, but lifts DEANO up by his head, and hooks him up for a reverse DDT, but DEANO reverses it into a pinning maneuver; 1…2. kick out. DEANO and TONY CAPRETTI both stand up quickly, but TONY CAPRETTI is the first to strike hitting DEANO with a kick to the gut, and then nailing a spear. TONY CAPRETTI goes for another pin; 1…2… DEANO barely kicks out, and TONY CAPRETTI picks him back up, and he and DEANO lock up. TONY CAPRETTI hooks DEANO between his legs, but before he can deliver any type of move DEANO lifts TONY CAPRETTI up over his back with a back body drop. TONY CAPRETTI is shaken, but gets up before DEANO can capitalize. DEANO grabs TONY CAPRETTI and whips him into the turnbuckle; DEANO follows up and hits TONY CAPRETTI with chest chop after chest chop, and then as TONY CAPRETTI starts to fall DEANO runs a bit, and delivers THE DESTROYER to TONY CAPRETTI slamming his face off the mat!! DEANO crawls on top of TONY CAPRETTI and hooks one leg; 1…2… THREE!! DEANO HAS DEFEATED TONY CAPRETTI YET AGAIN!
WINNER:
The fans start cheering, all with their own idea of who may be the subject of the interview.. SAYORS takes the ring and addresses the fans.
vs.
- - 50 Point Bonus Match - -
Coming back from the intense action in the ring, we find ourselves returned to the backstage area, and a most bizarre sight.
On the ground, are HUNDREDS of tubes of tooth paste, it literally coats the ground. Stray crew members, are passing cash to one another, as if making some kind of bet, as random passerby once more, look over the young man standing in the middle of the battleground of dental paste.
The man known as HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE, is barely visible, through a cloak of toothpaste. He is covered, head to toe, in the long thick, coating of tooth paste. He is white as snow, although his teeth are oddly gleaming from the lights outside the arena. Everywhere he turns, his mouth is shining.
HONKEY: DAMN YOU, TOOTHPASTE! DAMN YOU TO THE BOWELS OF HELL!!!!
The vat next to him, has a miniscule amount of toothpaste laden within, mostly offspray from the splattering, explosive amounts of goo that is now stuck to HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE's skin. The young man, his chipper attitude quickly disappearing, as his frustration hits a new peak.
As he tears open a new tube, holding it directly above the vat, you can see people all around him, writing down in notepads, trading cash back and forth. The bets are back!
Turning his head around, watching them, HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE growls.
HONKEY: WELL... GRRR! FORGET ALL OF YOU! I SHALL SHOW CRIMSON KLINE WHAT THE ULTIMATE PRANK IS! WHOM THE TRUE MAST--- OW!
*Squirt*
He is shot right between the eyes with another defective tube of toothpaste. We see what we believe is a tear rolling down the cheek of HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE. Then, he explodes, his arms flailing wildly about, pointing at the toothpaste, stomping his legs up and down on the empty tubes!
HONKEY: NO! NO! YOU TOOTHPASTE! YOU WILL NOT DEFY ME! I AM THE HONKEY! I AM THE HONKEY! I AM THE-- WOOOAH!
*CRASH*
Having just slipped on a patch of toothpaste, HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE can only lay there, shaking his head..
Elsewhere backstage.. JONATHYN bumps into CRIMSON KLINE.
JONATHYN: Hey KLINE! Don’t be jealous!
KLINE: Don’t be jealous?
JONATHYN: Don’t be jealous that I just signed up SEWASIDE! Serves you right after you FIRED JOSH HUDSON and ANDREW GIBSON last week! Now I got SEWASIDE and you got NOTHING!
KLINE: Yeah. You got SEWASIDE. Good for you. Do you even know who SEWASIDE IS? The relationship you have with him? You think I’m JEALOUS?
JONATHYN: I KNOW you are..
KLINE: Not at all.. In fact, I’d say you’ve got quite a roster all of a sudden. I mean.. You got SEWASIDE.. You got RIGG.. You at least got ONE of the three guys in our trade.. and you got that guy right there.
KLINE points over JONATHYN’s shoulder as CYREN approaches from behind.
JONATHYN: Yeah! That’s right! My man CYREN is the GREATEST! And his number one priority is making sure I’m PROTECTED!
CYREN: Yes. That’s right, and that’s why it pains me to do this..
JONATHYN: Huh? To do what?
KLINE: NOW!
KLINE grabs JONATHYN and turns him around so that CYREN can stuff a chloroformed rag in his face! JONATHYN lets out a muffled scream before he blacks out in KLINE’s arms. He hands the passed out owner to CYREN.
CYREN: Thank you, Mr. KLINE.
KLINE: Thank YOU, CYREN. And good luck. Please make him better.. Please..
CYREN: I will do my best. I owe it to this man..
CYREN picks the boss up in a fireman’s carry and heads off in the opposite direction..
In the backstage area, we find a referee holding BRIAN LANCE and MYSTIC J apart, from one another, each men chomping at the bit to get at the other. With a chop of hands, the referee signals for the match to begin. MYSTIC J goes on the offensive, walking behind a catering table backstage, quickly grabbing a fork and a butter knife, slashing them at BRIAN LANCE, but BRIAN LANCE dodges out of the way, finally jumping over the table, with a flying clothesline, that takes MYSTIC out, both of them smacking hard against one of the walls in the backstage area, scattering bystanders, many different vendors backstage, some hot-dog vendors rolling their carts out of the way, yet one is not fortunate enough to move quickly. MYSTIC J pokes BRIAN LANCE in the eyes, than stabs him in the thigh with a steak knife, drawing deep blood, that is flowing freely onto the ground already. MYSTIC J smiles sweetly then, seeing a pumpkin on the table backstage, taking it, flipping BRIAN LANCE the middle finger, than smashing it against his head. LANCE stumbles backwards, flipping over the vendor. The merchant runs down the hallway, as MYSTIC grabs BRIAN LANCE by his head and starts ramming it down onto the deep fryer. Scorch marks are quickly being seen all over LANCE's face, but he quickly grabs a free hot dog, shoving it into MYSTIC's face. The chicken and pr force the superstar to hack and spit, allowing BRIAN LANCE enough time to hit a vertical suplex onto the car. He then delivers an elbow across the throat of MYSTIC! MYSTIC grabs his throat, choking, as BRIAN LANCE kicks the cart down the hallway! OH MY GOD... THE FLOOR ISN'T LEVEL! MYSTIC J IS GOING DOWNHILL! HE'S FLYING PAST DRESSING ROOMS, JANITORIAL CLOSETS! HE'S HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE!
BRIAN LANCE shoots of at a dead run, chasing his opponent, his eyes widening as he sees a maintenance man walking with a ladder!
MYSTIC CRASHES RIGHT INTO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE LADDER! THE MAINTENANCE MAN SPINS AROUND! THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE LADDER
JUST SMACKED MYSTIC J IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD, LAUNCHING HIM NEARLY 10 FEET INTO A WALL! HIS HEAD IS BUSTED OPEN! BLOOD
IS STREAMING DOWN HIS CHIN!
BRIAN LANCE sees his advantage as he jumps onto the cart, twisting his body into a vertical leap, smacking right on top of MYSTIC J! MYSTIC J HOWLS IN PAIN! BRIAN LANCE doesn't let up however, as he begins mauling MYSTIC, raining down with lefts
and rights. He then drags him to his feet, but he is stopped as MYSTIC headbutts him, splitting open his forehead. He snatches a steel chair from the area, quickly folding it together and... WHACK! HE JUST HIT A HOMERUN ON BRIAN LANCE'S SKULL! BRIAN LANCE begins stumbling backwards, but MYSTIC J simply smacks him in his back, forcing him to fall forward.... MYSTIC J GIVES CHASE! WHACK! WHACK!
Finally, his legs giving out, BRIAN LANCE crashes through the door of the restroom! He leans against the sink, quickly dodging under another of MYSTIC's blows! The chair smashes against the full-length mirror! Shards of glass embed in BRIAN LANCE's face and arms, but he shakes the pain away! He punches the chair straight into MYSTIC's face, tackling him THROUGH A STALL! THE TWO MEN ARE IN THE BATHROOM! THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER A BOWL!
Finally gaining an upper hand, MYSTIC hits a knee into the sternum of BRIAN LANCE, hitting an... OH MY GOD! FACEBUSTER ONTO THE TOILET! FACEBUSTER ONTO THE TOILET! THIS IS THE SWIRLIE FROM HELL!
Blood splatters everywhere, some dripping into the toilet water, as BRIAN LANCE immediately grabs his face, blood dripping everywhere. He flees the restroom, stumbling down the hallway, as MYSTIC J gives pursuit. They end up near the loading docks of the XWF arena. BRIAN LANCE leans against the wall, but MYSTIC J attempts a clothesline. He ducks under, hitting a SWINGING NECKBREAKER FROM THE RAMP! THE BOTH OF THEM CRASH OFF THE LOADING BAY ONTO THE COLD, CEMENT GROUND OF THE PARKING LOT! THESE TWO MEN NEVER EVEN MADE IT TO THE RING!
Each man is bloody and bruised! The referee follows closely, as MYSTIC J punches BRIAN LANCE in the throat, tossing him onto the hood of a car cracking the cars windshield! He jumps on top, motioning for.. a. NO! NO! HE'S GOING TO IT A PILEDRIVER ON THE HOOD OF A CAR! H'S GOING FOR IT... BUT NO! BRIAN LANCE REVERSES! BACKDROP... THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD!
MYSTIC J HAS JUST SMASHED THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE! BRIAN LANCE GATHERS HIM FROM THE GLASS, TAKES HIM ON TOP OF THE CAR, AND SETS HIM UP FOR.... OH MY GOD! IT'S A POWERBOMB! BRIAN LANCE HEFTS HIM UP, AND BEGINS... RUNNING!
*CRASH!!*
RUNNING POWERBOMB FROM THE HOOD OF THE CAR THROUGH YET... ANOTHER WINDSHIELD! MASTIC J IS UNCONSCIOUS!
BRIAN LANCE COVERS! ONE...... TWO....... THREE!
WINNER:
vs.
- - "Anything Goes" Match - -
We return to the elsewhere in the backstage area, to find ourselves Staring at a relatively full vat of toothpaste.
HONKEY: WOO... That was some workout, huh?
Idly talking to no one, we are astonished at what we see. HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE, covered in many thick coats of toothpaste, looks much more like the Michelin Man, than a human being.
The vat however, is now as full as it’s going to be, making the first part of his mission complete.
HONKEY: Well, it's all in a day's work!
He rubs his hands together, steadying himself, as he gets ready to lift the vat up, attempting to carry it.
HONKEY: GRRR.... *HEAVE*.... GRR... *HARSH BREATH* .... GRRRUUUUAAAH *MUSCLE SPASM* OWWWW!!!
As he holds his back, having realized just how heavy the vat is now, HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE kicks the vat, quickly regretting it, as e massages the pain out of his foot. However, abstaining from being a quitter, he begins using all his force to push the giant bin of toothpaste, across the floor.
Many onlookers watch him in stunned fascination, just as he begins looking to gain momentum, his foot begins getting ever so much closer, to an extension cord that ran all the way around the room, allowing a small television set to play in the backstage area. It extends through the air, rising right above a small painter's elevation pad, which had held a small table. Perhaps some rather lazy crew were dashing up the paintjob of the arena, having forgotten quite a large meal.
In any regards, nearly a dozen, open Value-size boxes of corn flakes, are high up above HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE's head.
He begins moving forward, but before anyone can warn him, his foot snaps against the extension cord, pulling it out of place.
OH MY GOD!!!
The cornflakes seem to be snowing from the sky, as they cover HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE. All that is visible are his eyes, and his pink tongue as he wipes the toothpaste from his lips, bringing a few crunchy corn flakes into his gullet.
*crunch*
*crunch*
As he stands there for a moment, having forgotten about the vat, he just contemplates... silent. Rubbing his chin, or rather, corn-flake pasted head, he taps his foot.
*crunch*
*crunch*
His eyes falling downward, another tear falls from his eyes.
*crunch*
HONKEY: WHY??? Why can I not get this blasted thing to move? Why, oh great cheesecake in the sky, why?
*crunch*
*crunch*
Hearing him, an elderly member of staff with a big white beard, perhaps out of a bit of mercy, wanders over to HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE, tapping him on the shoulder with a stick.
ARENA CREWMAN: Hey... man? You having trouble hefting that thing?
*crunch*
Raising his eyebrow, or rather, we believe he is, HONKEY responds.
HONKEY: Why, yes my dear man, I am. Have a proposition?
*crunch*
ARENA CREWMAN: As a matter of fact....
The man looks left and right... as if checking to make sure no one is in earshot of their conversation.
HONKEY: Yeah?
*crunch*
ARENA CREWMAN: I've heard... that we have a winch out back, the keys are in the ignition. Why... I'd wager you could
carry this thing with ease, if you could... say, borrow it, why I see no reason why you couldn't carry it all the way to the stage?
Listening to the man, HONKEY is shaking his head, yet as he looks at more people around him pulling out their wallets, making out checks and pulling out valuables, laying them down for a bet, he shakes his head.
HONKEY: You WAGER, now do you? Well, I'll take that bet!
*crunch*
*crunch*
With that, HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE leaves the vat momentarily, making his way outside.
*crunch*
*crunch*
*crunch*
*crunch*
The shot cuts to yet another location in the back, where CYREN has now successfully strapped JONATHYN down to a metal slab. JONATHYN is wiggling violently, but to no avail.. A dark-cloaked CYREN turns the lights down, allowing the room to glow only with the light of two hundred candles.. An eerie mist begins to fill the room as CYREN begins speaking, reading from a book..
CYREN: What is your name..
JONATHYN: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, CYREN? LET ME GO!!
CYREN: What.. is.. your.. name..
JONATHYN: YOU ARE SO FIRED IF YOU DON’T LET ME OUT OF THIS RIGHT NOW!!
CYREN: WHAT IS YOUR NAME!!!
JONATHYN: ..Ni.. Nicole.
CYREN: NO! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!!
JONATHYN: NICOLE! YOU SON OF A..
CYREN: NO! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!!
CYREN pulls a small vial of liquid out of his cloak and splashes it across JONATHYN’s face.
JONATHYN: EEW! DAMMIT!! WHAT IS THAT? IS THAT AXE? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? I DON’T WEAR AXE!! THAT’S A GUY’S COLOGNE!
CYREN: YOU ARE NOT NICOLE RICHIE.
JONATHYN: OH, OKAY. I SUPPOSE YOU’RE GOING TO SAY I’M CALLISTA FLOCKHART? HA HA, DICK!
CYREN: WHO IS YOUR FATHER?
JONATHYN: LIONEL RICHIE!
CYREN: WHO IS YOUR MOTHER?
JONATHYN: My mother is.. Um..
CYREN: YOU DON’T KNOW?
JONATHYN: I know, I’m just nervous. You’ve got me all strapped down.. For all I know, you’re gonna try to have your way with me.. Just let me go!
CYREN refers to the book again quickly and reads his own notes in the margin.
CYREN: What is the name of the book you just wrote?
JONATHYN: Book? I wrote a book? SHUT UP! This is a trick!
CYREN pulls the vial of Axe out of his pocket again.. He sprinkles it on JONATHYN’s forehead.
JONATHYN: Knock it off! Security!!
CYREN: YOU ARE JONATHYN BROWN!
JONATHYN: What? Who?
CYREN: YOU ARE JONATHYN BROWN!
JONATHYN: No I’m not!
CYREN: YOU ARE JONATHYN BROWN!
JONATHYN: STOP IT!
CYREN: YOU ARE JONATHYN BROWN!
JONATHYN: SHUT UP!
CYREN: YOU ARE JONATHYN BROWN!
JONATHYN: SECURITY!!
CYREN turns and turns on a CD boom box, loaded with JONATHYN’s theme song; a song he recorded himself when he was 15-years-old..
MY NAME’S JON BROWN
CYREN: LISTEN TO IT!!
JONATHYN: WHAT IS THIS CRAP?
CYREN: This is YOU!!
JONATHYN: WHAT? NO WAY!!
CYREN: LISTEN TO THE REFERENCES!! WHO IS ADAM BUCK?
JONATHYN: What? I don’t know!!
CYREN: YOUR NAME’S JON BROWN!
JONATHYN: No!
CYREN: JON BROWN BROWN, BABY, JON BROWN!!
JONATHYN: SHUT UP!!
CYREN: THAT’S YOUR NAME BABY, JON BROWN BROWN BROWN!!!
JONATHYN: I’m NICOLE RICHIE!!
CYREN: Who was your sixth grade teacher?
JONATHYN: What? Who?
CYREN: MRS. HEFELE!! You changed your name to RAY because you didn’t want to be called JON BROWN anymore!! LISTEN! IT’S ALL IN THIS SONG THAT YOU RECORDED!
JONATHYN: I had nothing to do with this!!
CYREN: You recorded this yourself, you told me! You used a dual cassette recorder in your garage! You remixed the Dead Or Alive song so it was just an instrumental, then you overdubbed your own vocals a bunch of times! THIS IS ALL YOU!
JONATHYN: NO!!
CYREN: YOUR NAME’S JON BROWN BROWN BABY JON BROWN!!
JONATHYN: My name is NOT JON BROWN!!
CYREN: THAT’S YOUR NAME BABY, JON BROWN BROWN BROWN!!!
JONATHYN: STOP THIS!!
CYREN: THINK ABOUT IT!! WHERE WERE YOU IN 1985?
JONATHYN: I wasn’t born yet! I don’t think..
CYREN: JONATHYN BROWN was born in 1969!! In 1985, you were recording song parodies and going to PRINCE concerts!!
JONATHYN: WHAT? NO!! LIONEL RICHIE!! ME!! NICOLE!! NOT.. WHAT?
CYREN: JONATHYN BROWN!!
JONATHYN: No!!
CYREN: Who is JOHN REID!!
JONATHYN: SHUT UP!!
CYREN: YOUR NAME’S JON BROWN BROWN BABY JON BROWN!! THAT’S YOUR NAME BABY, JON BROWN BROWN BROWN!!!
JONATHYN: NO!!
JONATHYN blacks out. CYREN looks at his progress..
CYREN: It’s worse than I thought.. I need to take this to phase two.. But first.. I have a match to win.. You just sleep, my friend.. You sleep..
CYREN pats JONATHYN on the forehead before heading out..
Walking around backstage a camera picks up 504 BOY as he seems hurrying off somewhere when he's stopped by STEVE SAYORS.
SAYORS: Whoa! Whoa! WHOA! What's up 504 BOY? Where are you off to in such a hurry?
504 BOY: I just got word that my fiancée and tag team partner for my match tonight has fallen sick, VERY sick at that, and has been hospitalized. I tried to talk to the doctors who would have no word of it and said that she won't be able to even be here tonight much less be able to wrestle tonight. So how do you think I feel? JEN is practically at death’s door in the hospital, and I promised her this win! I'm going a bit crazy over here in now knowing that tonight I may be partnerless tonight, but I have to win this for her!
SAYORS: What?! You can't go on into the match tonight by yourself. That's impossible, Fiver!
504 BOY: Of course it is, just like SKITZO did last year! I can do this!! Either way, I’ve got to do something about this and do it fast as my match is coming up soon!
And just like that 504 BOY walks off out of sight.
At the beginning of the next match, we find all the combatants in the ring, but we're missing JEN JETSON!
However, with microphone in hand, 504 BOY is standing in the middle of the ring, looking very solemn.
504 BOY: Hello, everyone. It is with great sadness that I have to admit, that tonight, JEN JETSON due to many intestinal, and medical problems, was not able to make it here. She is feeling very sick as of late, so it is with a heavy heart that I have to inform all of you, that she will not be
in attendance.
At this news, many fans begin booing.
504 BOY: So it looks like I’m entering this match all by my..
Suddenly, a loud rendition of what appears to be the 'Superman', theme song hits around the arena!!
A pre-recorded voice hits the PA!
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bong! It’s a dime bag! No!! It’s…
420 KID: COME WITH ME, FIVER, AND WE’LL ROLL THIS THING UP!! 504 BOY AND THE 420 KID ARE GOING TO SMOKE THE COMPETITION TONIGHT!
504 BOY doesn’t know what to say. Who the hell is this guy? Crimson Kline, wearing his referee T-shirt, makes a disgusted face, then shrugs, taking the microphone.
CRIMSON KLINE: Oh this should be good.. I'LL ALLOW IT! THE 420 KID is the legal partner for 504 BOY! NOW... GOOD FIGHT! I WANT A GOOD CLEAN FIGHT, NO HITTING BELOW THE BELT!
504 BOY is still confused as CRIMSON KLINE signals for the match to begin.
EXTERMINATOR, 504 BOY, and HEATHER HALLIWELL are the first ones to begin the match. 504 BOY immediately rushes at HEATHER, attempting a chop block, but he is quickly intercepted by EXTERMINATOR, who flips him against the ropes, hitting a sadistic flip DDT, when 504 BOY rebounds. 504 BOY skids across the entire ring, landing near the corner, just as HEATHER HALLIWELL spins EXTERMINATOR around, landing a vicious European uppercut, rocking him back several feet. EXTERMINATOR than, with a smile and challenge to HEATHER, spits in her face, quickly hitting a crescent kick, knocking her flat against the mat. He then proceeds to pick her up in a press slam, throwing her over the top rope into the banister on the outside!
THIS MATCH HAS TURNED BLOODY ALREADY!
HEATHER is quickly tended to by CHERRY, as EXTERMINATOR runs around the ring, signaling for a baseball slide, attempting it on 504 BOY, but 504 BOY quickly rolls out of the way, forcing EXTERMINATOR's legs to go right into the turnbuckle. He winces in pain, but he doesn't have time to recover, as 504 BOY hits a quick leg drop on the back of EXTERMINATOR's head. The superstar spits up a small amount of blood, as one of his teeth slice his upper lip. Blood trickles
to the ground, even as 504 BOY tags in the 420 KID! The 420 KID, walks into the ring, does a bit of a strut, than picks EXTERMINATOR up, nailing him with a sadistic PLANCHA! He just did a standing plancha! He wipes the both of them out! In the meanwhile, CHERRY rolls HEATHER
back into the ring, who is still holding her midsection. Quickly having enough wits to tag herself into the match, CHERRY immediately sneaks behind the 420 KID, allowing herself to hit a quick crucifix Facebuster! The 420 KID is down, even as EXTERMINATOR is making his way back to the action! He looks extremely displeased! Holding his groin, he goes to grab CHERRY
by the hair, but the lithe young rookie, quickly snatches him by the neck, in a cradle pin!
ONE.... TWO..., THREE!
EXTERMINATOR HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
The superstar grabs his hair, not believing this! However, Crimson Kline, pinches his referee t-shirt, forcing EXTERMINATOR to the back! He quickly obliges, but the action in the ring has heated up, as CHASM quickly steps in, hitting a flying lariat on the awakened 420 KID. 420 KID stumbles backwards, his elbow smashing into the face of CHERRY, breaking her nose on impact. The young seductress, the fire brand, however, fights through the pain, letting out a wail of rage. She rushes forward, blood dripping from her nose, and begins... OH MY GOD! CHERRY IS BITING THE NOSE OF THE 420 KID!
THE 420 KID IS HOWLING IN PAIN!
The KID begins stumbling backwards, CHERRY having wrapped her legs around his waist. 504 BOY sees his chance and tags himself back into the match, snatching CHERRY from behind in a vertical suplex! The motions caused an echo throughout the entire arena, as the fans stand in awe. CHERRY rolls like a pebble to her corner, where HEATHER HALLIWELL climbs the top rope! She attempts a Hurricanrana on 504 BOY... CONNECTED! 504 BOY is down, however CHASM rushes forward, nailing a bulldog on HEATHER. He quickly presses the attack, hitting a series of German suplexes, followed up by a succession of leg drops over the back of her head. After that, he picks her up
by her hair, and stomps her in the gut. She falls to the ground, as he rams his knee into her jaw. A loud, audible crack is heard as the young female rolls on the ground! HE MAY HAVE BROKEN HER JAW! Not stopping the attack, the vicious CHASM begins stomping harshly on HEATHER's midsection. ONCE... TWICE... THREE TIMES! He's stomping a mudhole in her and stomping it dry! HEATHER HALLIWELL is spitting up blood each time CHASM presses the attack.
504 BOY gets to one knee, witnessing the attack on the other side of the ring, but he quickly just rests in the corner, apt to watch it unfold. CHASM doesn't any time, quickly rolling HEATHER HALLIWELL over, covering her for the pin!
ONE.... TWO.... THREE
HEATHER HALLIWELL HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
CHASM begins celebrating his victory, but it is short-lived as 504 BOY runs forward, nailing a face-first Russian leg sweep, that bloodies CHASM's mouth. As CHERRY jumps back into the match, holding her neck, she hits a vertical elbow snap onto the side of CHASM's head. He is rocked back, quickly caught buy 504 BOY, who hits a reverse DDT! He then proceeds to lift the larger man up into the air... POWERBOMB! 504 BOY JUST HIT THE BUYA BOMB! However, as he stumbles backwards, surveying his handiwork, his partner 420 KID enters the ring, prancing around, merrily happy to even BE in the ring, however his time is brief, as CHERRY quickly hits an armbar fujiwara!
420 KID JUST TAPPED OUT TO CHERRY!
At this, CHASM gets back up, shakily, Staring down 504 BOY, as he walks forward, he walks right past CHERRY, who has this dumbfounded look on her face, as if offended he didn’t even consider her a threat! None the matter, she spun him around, kicking him in the gut. She then led him over to the corner where she hit an off-the top rope, neckbreaker! CHASM's body rattled around the entire ring, stopping at the feet of 504 BOY, who quickly picks the superstar up, smashing him in the face with several forearms before knocking him into the ring ropes! As he comes back, a high knee flips him inside out, but.. OH MY GOD!
AS HE'S FLIPPING, CHERRY jumps over the pronge form of 420 KID, catching CHASM by the neck, FALLING FORWARD IN A VICIOUS DDT!
SHE COVERS. ONE... TWO... THREE!
CHASM IS ELIMINATED!
IT'S DOWN TO 504 BOY AND CHERRY!
The two superstars who've taken the brunt of the action, stand in opposing corners. Their breaths coming quickly, they size one another up, before locking horns. The powerful 504 BOY, however, quickly grabs her in a headlock, but CHERRY reverses it into a hammerlock, ringing it down, as she wretched back on 504 BOY's neck! His eyes are bulging out of his head! He quickly reaches out for oxygen, but as Crimson Kline asks about whether or not he wants to give up, 504 BOY powers out of the hold, flipping CHERRY over his back!
Climbing the top rope, 504 BOY signals to everyone in attendance, as he flips CHERRY the bird! HE JUMPS.. SOARING OFF THE TOP ROPE! A 450 SPLASH! A 450 SPLASH! BOOOOOM!
He covers, the 420 KID now, reaching from outside, holding his legs down, as the fire cat known as CHERRY wildly, yet to no avail, kicks her lags.
ONE.... TWO........ THREE!
CHERRY IS ELIMINATED!
504 BOY WINS THE MATCH!
Does this mean the 420 KID is now a number one contender as well? Where does this leave JEN JETSON?
TAG TITLE #1 CONTENDERS:
THE 420 KID!!
Out of nowhere, some goofball in a cheesy mask runs down to the ring! 504 BOY is baffled. He had nothing to do with this.. The man in the mask has a microphone!
vs.
vs.
- - Tag Title #1 Contender Elimination Match - -
SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: CRIMSON KLINE
HONKEY: WEE-HAWWWW!
HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE, covered from head-to-toe in toothpaste and corn flakes, stomps on the brakes, as he parks the winch, vat and all, at the back door of the stage area. He has made it!
Jumping from the large machine, after lowering the vat, he wipes his brow.
HONKEY: YES! CRIMSON KLINE SHALL KNOW THE ULTIMATE PRANK! HE SHALL HAVE NO MERCY UPON FROM WHICH THE LIGHTHOUSE! THE LIGHTHOUSE SEES ALL! THE HONKEY IS THE MASTER!
Shaking his fist in the air, HONKEY is smiling brightly, so bright... it casts a blinding light into the camera, for a moment.
HONKEY: I really MUST, go and express my gratitude to that rather fine gentleman who gave me such STELLAR advice! Well, off we go!
With that, a happy gait is what is left behind, as HONKEY begins merrily making his way outside, a shortcut to the backstage docking area.
As soon as he opens the outside area, however, he hears a loud humming.
*BUUZUZZZ! BUZZZZ*
It's like a swarm, a loud thrumming from the distance. In the horizon, far above the arena, we see small dots. It's... by god, it's a flock of pigeons! And.. there are pigeons strewn al around the arena! As HONKEY has made his presence known, unanimously, every single pigeon has locked eyes with him.
THEY'RE ADVANCING!
HONKEY: NOOOO!!!!!!!
At that, the swarm from above, darts down to the earth as the small army of pigeons on the ground, launch themselves like speeding bullets onto HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE, pecking him, tearing at his spin, biting his lip.
HONKEY: OOH! AH! WARRIOR! GET OFF ME AGHHHHHH!!!!
With that, he waives around, his corn-flake arms looking more like wings, as he flail around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Not even realizing where he's going, he stumbles back into the building.
KILLJOY looks to his left as the pigeon looks to his right, allowing them to share a moment.. They face each other for a split second and KILLJOY suddenly looks to the sky in triumph..
KILLJOY: EUREKA!! Finally, I have found the simplest way to make pigeon’s breath minty fresh!
The crowd laughs heartily as KILLJOY crouches down to get closer to HONKEY..
KILLJOY: Let me explain something to you, son. You and this whole “toothpaste” thing.. It’s about as exciting as “Dancing With The stars”. You want to learn how to REALLY prank someone, you stick with me. But you’re going to have to remember one thing.. ALWAYS be prepared for anything, especially when it may involve exploding toothpaste, a giant crate of cereal, an elderly staff member costume, fifty trained pigeons, and a predictable sap named after a white building with a light on top.
HONKEY LIGHTHOUSE just drops to the ground, and KILLJOY gets a finger full of toothpaste off his head, using it to rub across his teeth as he heads away from the pooped prankster-in-training.
HONKEY falls to the floor, brushing off a few straggler pigeons, one of which lands on the shoulder of a man standing above HONKEY..
A disheveled and exhausted HONKEY looks straight up at the man standing before him.
NO WAY…
HONKEY just stares up at him as the crowd goes crazy at the sight of the Prince Of Pranks with a grin on his face and a pigeon on his shoulder..
Back In the ring, the foreboding structure starts to lower for the IRON BULL/SOUL BEARER match, as IRON BULL stands inside waiting for his opponent. You can tell IRON BULL is nervous as hell, but ready for his destiny. "Hells Bells" by AC/DC starts ringing into the ears of the XWF fans, as the lights go off and the fans cheer their heads off for both men. They know they are about to witness history. The lights pop back on, as SOUL BEARER appears in the ring, playing his mind games already. But wait... Who's that outside the cage? SOUL BEARER just grabbed a mic from the man, who's wearing a low hood to cover his face.
SOUL BEARER: Ladies and Gentlemen, please say hello to my new manager...
SOUL BEARER drops the mic as the man lifts his hood off. Is that? It is!
WILDCARD has returned as SOUL BEARER's manager! The fans cheer loudly with a small, WILDCARD chant. Both SOUL BEARER and IRON BULL check out the structure. The entire thing, from top to bottom and all of its sides, wrapped in barbed wire. Ladders and tables surround each side, chairs hanging around the top of the cage. The bell finally rings, and we are now under way.
IRON BULL and SOUL BEARER lock up, as WILDCARD cheers his client on from the outside. Bull is able to fight off SOUL BEARER’s power, as he locks on a headlock, trying to make SOUL BEARER weak early. Unfortunately for Bull, SOUL BEARER finds a way to nail a few elbows to the midsection. He runs against the ropes looking for a clothesline, but instead is met with a crazy kick to the face courtesy of Bull. He jumps off the ropes himself, jumps, and lands a perfect elbow to the grounded SOUL BEARER. He stands again and works more on SOUL BEARER’s head with rights and lefts, but he realizes he needs to tae out the legs of the big man, trying to lock on a figure-4 leg lock. SOUL BEARER is able to kick IRON BULL away, who just barely misses going into the barbed wire on the side of the cage. Picking himself up, SOUL BEARER goes towards Bull, but he's met with IRON BULL's left elbow, sending SOUL BEARER straight back. Bull bounces off the ropes and hits a nice spinning bionic elbow, knocking SOUL BEARER to one knee, as he returns with a dropkick to his back. SOUL BEARER still remains on one knee, as IRON BULL scratches his head wondering what he has to do to get him flat. He asks the ref for something, and he gets...wire cutters? IRON BULL carefully balances himself on the top rope, as he cuts down a chair from the top. He falls off the top with the chair, and makes his way over to SOUL BEARER with a huge grin across his face. WHACK! IRON BULL smacks SOUL BEARER in the back with the chair, as he thrives in pain, but still remains on one knee. THWACK! Again to the back, but same results! IRON BULL throws the chair down at SOUL BEARER’s head in anger, and then picks him up. Bad mistake though as SOUL BEARER finally cooks up some offense and hits BULL in the head with a few European upper cuts, the last one sending IRON BULL to the mat. SOUL BEARER gets the cutters and makes his way to get a chair, but a revived Bull stops him in his tracks. What is he going to do here? OH! Dropkick! and it sends SOUL BEARER off to the top rope and straight into the barbed wire! Bull pulls him off, but has trouble as SOUL BEARER’s skin is stuck to the wire! He finally gets SOUL BEARER free, but almost pukes as he sees part of his skin missing on his arms. With the now quivering SOUL BEARER, IRON BULL picks him up then slides him across the mat straight into a ladder. Bull grabs that same ladder and tries to set it up, but not without struggle. it has been IRON BULL so far in this match, even after WILDCARD's training with SOUL BEARER. WILDCARD pleads for SOUL BEARER to stand, as IRON BULL starts to climb the ladder. He almost reaches the top before SOUL BEARER flings his own body towards the ladder, knocking IRON BULL into the barbed wire cage! GOOD GOD! IRON BULL is hanging on the wire!! SOUL BEARER, with no mercy, rips BULL off the barbed wire, causing him to bleed all over his upper body, arms, and legs. SOUL BEARER finally finds a moment to catch his breath, but goes right back to work setting one table in each corner, using four of the eight tables in the ring. He then grabs the chair and hits IRON BULL right in the groin, ouch! He picks up IRON BULL and throws him into the one cornered table. He runs at him and CRACK! Spear right through the table! But he's not done yet. To the other corner....CRACK! Spear through that table! And now the third corner...CRACK! SPEAR. And now the fourth...NO! reversal, as SOUL BEARER goes into the table. IRON BULL charges and....spears himself through the table as SOUL BEARER moves at the last minute! Bull is down, as SOUL BEARER starts piling up the broken tables right into the center o the ring. He takes a deep breath, then sets IRON BULL up against the ropes. Bounces him off, picks him up and!....SPINEBUSTER right onto the broken table pieces! The crowd gives a decent pop, as the ref checks on both men. A few moments later they're both back on their feet, but IRON BULL has the chair! THWACK! SOUL BEARER staggers. BANG! This time he stumbles right towards the ropes, his face only inches away from the side and barbed wire. IRON BULL winds up one last time...CRACK! SOUL BEARER’s head just got crushed between steel and wire! HIS FACE IS STUCK TO THE BARBED WIRE!!! IRON BULL pays back SOUL BEARER for earlier as he rips SOUL BEARER away from the side, and blood gushes out near SOUL BEARER’s right eye. IRON BULL again sets up the ladder as he checks to make sure SOUL BEARER is down. He's not, so from the fourth rung, IRON BULL jumps off and sends SOUL BEARER back into the barbed wire! Stuck on the same spot as well! IRON BULL quickly climbs the ladder. He's almost there.....YES! IRON BULL has the briefcase down, now he's just needs to exit the cage with it! He tumbles off the ladder, clinging onto the case for dear life. He stands, smiling at SOUL BEARER, as he goes towards the door, casually tossing the briefcase onto his shoulder, whistling. SOUL BEARER just ripped his own face out of the wire, bleeding even more! IRON BULL tries to quickly climb out, but SOUL BEARER lunges and stops, as the briefcase flings back behind both men. SOUL BEARER gains a second win, as an angry face comes across, dragging IRON BULL back to the center. He stands him up and....NO! HE throws him into one side and rips him off! Now the opposite side! God, no! IRON BULL is being shredded here! Now the trifecta! And one last side....BAM! RIP! IRON BULL looks unconscious now, as SOUL BEARER falls due to all the blood he's lost. The ref throw's up the X. Is this it? EMT's come down and enter the ring. They check up on both men, as they lay there motionless. This match is not for the weak at heart, ladies and gents. Wait, what's happening here? SOUL BEARER and IRON BULL are being helped up. But wait! IRON BULL throws himself at SOUL BEARER, and they're fighting all over now. NO! They're throwing the EMT's into the cage! What carnage! SOUL BEARER and IRON BULL turn their attention towards each other now, as they duke it out. Rights after lefts, lefts after rights! IRON BULL gets the upper hand, as he makes SOUL BEARER stagger against the ropes. IRON BULL sets up a table near the ladder, and lifts him and they both ascend the ladder. IRON BULL grabs SOUL BEARER’s head, banging his bloody eye against the top rung. He then tries to lift him for a suplex, but he blocks and....no....no!....NO!..........GRIM REAPER OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!! IRON BULL is out cold as SOUL BEARER is barely stirring! More EMT's come down to assist, but SOUL BEARER will have none of it. He slowly stands and one by one knocks them all out. The inside ref pleads to SOUL BEARER, but he too gets knocked on his ass. There's bodies lying everywhere! One ref, IRON BULL, at least 6 EMT's. SOUL BEARER rids the ring of the bodies, but time was of the essence for IRON BULL as he was able to become conscious again and raise himself up. SOUL BEARER doesn't notice, and BAM! Dropkick right into the door! IRON BULL staggers towards the remaining three tables, as he stacks them. One close to the cage, and then one on top of the other near the lonesome table. He climbs the cage with the wire cutters, cutting himself a path, as SOUL BEARER comes after him. IRON BULL cuts loose the chairs, tossing them at the climbing SOUL BEARER, almost making him fall numerous of times. They're both balanced up there now, throwing fists for Christ sake! IRON BULL gets the upper hand! NO! DON'T DO IT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!.........IRON BULL JUST HIT A TOMBSTONE THROUGH THE THREE TABLES FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! They're both out! Wow, look at IRON BULL's leg! It’s definitely broken after that fall. It looks like a rubber band. More EMT's rush to the ring, but are too scared to enter the ring! 1...2....3....4...5 minutes pass, and only twitching occurs, as the fans sit in awe of what they've witnessed. 6....7 minutes later, they both take their time getting to their feet. Noticing the briefcase, IRON BULL grabs it and makes his way towards the door. IRON BULL is almost there! Just a few more steps! THWAP! Chair shot straight to the head, and IRON BULL falls down hard! SOUL BEARER has the case now! He leaps through the cage door! SOUL BEARER HAS DONE IT! AND THIS MATCH IS OVER! The EMT's finally are able to get to both men. They assist SOUL BEARER onto a stretcher, as they wipe his blood off his eye. For IRON BULL they put something around his broken leg to keep it from moving. And the crowd is giving a standing ovation, and man do these athletes deserve it.
WINNER:
vs.
- - Barbed Wire TLC "Winner Take All" Match - -
As SOUL BEARER leaves the ring, IRON BULL is still not moving. Everyone claps SOUL BEARER for a great performance, but IRON BULL still isn't moving a finger. A trainer and EMT's come running down the ramp and into the ring to examine IRON BULL. There faces drop and they quickly signal for back up.
EMT#1: QUICK! THE GUYS COMPLETELY OUT! We don't have much time.
The crowd go very silent, anxious to see what is wrong. IRON BULL is yet to move.
EMT#2: What's wrong with him?
TRAINER: We think he may be paralyzed. He can't move any part of his body.
EMT#2: That was a nasty fall he took off that ladder.
EMT#1: What should we do?
TRAINER: Get the ambulance. This guys career could be over, unless we help him quickly.
EMT#1: OK.
The EMT calls for an ambulance. Moments later, it appears rolling down the ramp and the trainers strap IRON BULL to the stretcher and slowly carry him out of the ring and into the ambulance. All the fans show their appreciation to IRON BULL as the ambulance pulls away, taking the XWC ANARCHY superstar away.
CYREN starts with a quick elbow to the face of SMITTY, it knocks him back to the ropes and then CYREN runs towards SMITTY and clotheslines him over the rope to the floor. CYREN slides out and grabs SMITTY and Irish whips him into the guardrail. SMITTY screams in pain, and CYREN grabs out a metal chair from under the ring, and charges toward SMITTY and clocks him with the chair across the side of his face. CYREN then goes and grabs the 10-foot ladder and puts it inside the ring, slide it to the center and then opening it. He motions to start the journey to the top. But SMITTY slides in and low blows CYREN as he starts up the ladder. SMITTY picks up CYREN, stands on the second step, and gives him a spinning DDT. As CYREN lies on the mat, SMITTY goes and grabs the metal steel chair CYREN pulled out earlier. And SMITTY places the chair into the middle and top turnbuckle. He then walks over to CYREN and Irish whips him into the metal chair, and CYREN drops to his knees in pain. SMITTY grabs CYREN up and drops him with a body press slam. Then he proceeds to climb the ladder, but making it only to the third step, as CYREN grabs him and powerbombs him to the mat. CYREN stumbled about but manages to grab hold of the ladder and start his climb up to the BRIEFCASE, SMITTY slowly crawls to the other side, to begin his climb to the top, and CYREN slowly begins to come eye to with the BRIEFCASE. But then SMITTY punches him in the gut. And CYREN almost falls, but then he punches SMITTY back, and he almost falls, and then they begin a huge punch battle, first CYREN punches SMITTY, then SMITTY to CYREN and the ladder slowly jiggles in the ring and then falls, CYREN falls to the outside and SMITTY falls straddling the top rope and then falls to the apron, then rolls to the floor on the outside of the ring. The ref rushes to the side of CYREN and SMITTY. The ladder lay on the top rope and the wreckage outside tells the story of what just happened to the just tuning in visitors. CYREN is showing signs of life, and SMITTY slowly gets to his feet. And then CYREN slowly rolls inside of the ring, and sets the ladder back up. And SMITTY gets to the apron, and climbs into the ring. CYREN notices SMITTY entering the ring, so he grabs up the chair still in the ring in the corner, so he grabs it and tosses it toward the standing SMITTY, and SMITTY catches it, but CYREN runs and dropkicks the chair into the face of SMITTY and he flies up and over the top rope to the outside. CYREN, looks up to the BRIEFCASE and the crowd cheers, as he goes and climbs up to the briefcase, first step, second, fifth step, sixth, and then finally, seventh and eighth step. He then reaches and grabs a hold of the briefcase. But SMITTY rolls into the ring and charges the ladder, and knocks the ladder from under CYREN, and he stayed hanging onto the BRIEFCASE, and he swayed into the air, 12 feet above the ring, and SMITTY decided, to open the ladder up, so he opened the ladder and spread the legs out so if CYREN would fall he’d land on the ladder, and then SMITTY rolled out and grabbed another ladder and placed it unopened in the middle of the opened on. So that it covered the whole ring. CYREN started to lose his grip by on a last and final pull; he yanked the briefcase down as he falls crashing into the ladders below. CYREN has managed to hold on to the briefcase!! As CYREN hits, the ref calls for the bell.
WINNER:
SMITTY can’t believe it!! He’s lost his only chance at getting his money!! Will he have to sign up to become a full time wrestler again just to pay his bills?
CYREN takes the briefcase and heads up the ramp, contemplating what to do with his newly won cash, but more concerned about getting back to the boss...
The scene cuts to the back, JASON MUDD walking down a hallway, a roll of tape in hand, his hands and wrists slowly being covered in preparation for his championship title match later in the evening. Walking around the corner, JASON MUDD suddenly realizes someone is in front of him and he's about to collide. Stepping back, the individual in front of him steps back as well, each of them automatically sizing the other up, seeing whom they were dealing with.
JASON MUDD: Uh, sorry about that man. Should have been watching where I was going.
STEVE JASON: Yeah, don't worry about it. Your mind's probably somewhere of, mate, dealin' with the title match you've got.
It was STEVE JASON! JASON MUDD looked him straight in the eyes once realizing whom it was, it being a show and sign of respect from the younger of the two men, time wise in the XWF. There was also a competitive glance racing through each of their eyes, JASON finally breaking a grin and shrugging, tearing off the tape to finish off his left hand.
JASON MUDD: Yeah, you could say that my mind has been on that for a while.
STEVE JASON: You've been makin' a name for your self here with a pretty solid impact. If there's ever been a moment to show that you've got what it takes to become one of the largest names in the XWF, tonight's the night.
JASON MUDD: Man, oh man if that isn't the strongest and most agreeable thing I've heard all night. It's also something that I've heard time and time again since I've been in this business.
STEVE JASON grinned to that, shrugged and gave a slight nod of understanding to what JASON said.
STEVE JASON: Either way, mate, best of luck out there tonight. STAR'S someone whom has a lot of power behind her whim. It's gonna be a blockbuster no matter how things turn out.
JASON MUDD grinned and nodded his head in thanks with STEVE JASON, slowly walking to the side to get past him and head to wherever his destination was.
JASON MUDD: Thanks for the shot of luck, but it isn't going to be needed.
STEVE JASON gives him a look of 'oh really', his eyebrows raised nearly as far as they could go, half in amusement, half in curiosity of the attitude JASON MUDD gave off. JASON MUDD looked back to STEVE JASON and gave a grin over his shoulder, one that was full of a casual boy glance and a serious, serious tone.
JASON MUDD: After all, STEVE JASON. Destiny knows what's to become of all of us before it even happens. Just like tonight's match. There’s no luck to it, because the winner has already been decided.
STEVE JASON looks at JASON MUDD for a few seconds before MUDD simply turns and walks off. Stopping for a second, JASON MUDD turns around and looks at STEVE whom was simply standing there and thinking.
JASON MUDD: Oh yeah, and STEVE?
STEVE JASON turns to look at JASON MUDD, a questioning glance on his face.
JASON MUDD: Watch out.
STEVE JASON'S brow furrows slightly, not understanding what JASON MUDD was saying. STEVE JASON looks all around himself, thinking maybe it was an attack... but no one was there. Blinking a few times, STEVE JASON looks back to where MUDD was and already sees he was far too much down the hallway to get his attention.
Standing there on his own, STEVE JASON tries to think of what JASON MUDD meant by that and simply shrugs it off before heading to where his own destination was.
The lights dim in the arena as we prepare ourselves for the HART Championship Title Match-up. SABRINA Wilson will go head-to-head against MUNGBEAN, Premiere, and MINDFREAK. The lights dim as SABRINA's theme song plays. She struts down to the arena with her usual demeanor. And tantalizes the crowd's senses. SABRINA's eyes are full of intent and focus as she stares down the direction of the locker room. All of the sudden all of the lights in the arena go out. Then the song of MUNGBEAN begins to play just before it sounds like the "record is ripped" causing a large buzz into arena. Everyone's confused and looking at one another puzzled. SABRINA stands intently at the edge of the ring, looking around wondering what the hell is going on. They attempt to play Premiere's song but it sounds all distraught and ungodly so they cease playing the song. What is happening here on Autumn in Hell?! All of the sudden a loud chord on a pipe organ reigns throughout the arena - causing all of the pillars to light ablaze. A deep voice calls, "The heathenous pagan will burn!" as a loud cackle follows overtop of the voice. Five, 7ft tall large beings adorned in black hoods all walk out, heads dipped down low and arms caught in their sleeves save for 3 of them - who are carrying large sacks slung over their left shoulder. As they make their way to the arena, SABRINA backs away - and almost gets singed by the flames. She stands tough and watches as the five beings enter the arena. Three stand in the middle across from her and two more standing on the opposing ends. Then, "MINDFREAK!!!!!" is screamed by a vile voice over the P.A. As a large flash of white light flares in the center of the ring, and a hooded figure in a deep, rich black and purple cloak appears. As he tilts the hood back, we see it's none other than MINDFREAK! SABRINA's eyes narrow on him as she slowly begins to pace back and forth. The music dies down as some how MINDFREAK's voice seems to be booming over the P.A. System:
MINDFREAK: I'm glad to see that you actually managed to muscle up the guts to make it out here to defend your title against three of us. Well...I told you that I would even out the playing field as much as possible...
Upon saying this, the three men with sacks toss them forwards and they crash just behind MINDFREAK. MINDFREAK turns around and walks up to the first sack and opens it...
MUNGBEAN IS INSIDE?! The crowd jolts into cheers as MINDFREAK begins to pull the sack off of his unconscious body! The bruises from MINDFREAK’s fists are evident all over his body. He is hog tied with thick chains and a master-lock. MINDFREAK walks over towards the second bag and opens it - SABRINA doesn't know what to say or think...
PREMIERE IS INSIDE! He pulls the bag off of him and we find thin wires hog-tying him, lacerations and bruises just like on MUNGBEAN. MINDFREAK takes off his robe and tosses it to one of the Dark Clergy as they all begin to walk out of the arena the pipe-organ playing once again as they retreat. The crowd cheers for this group of eerie, and HUGE cloaked individuals as they retire to the locker rooms. MINDFREAK gestures downwards with his hands and the fires on the turnbuckles slowly diminish. He then raises his hands upwards and the lights within the arena turn back up. The crowd continues to cheer violently for the man as He then backs away and points down at MUNGBEAN, looking towards SABRINA. SABRINA looks at MUNGBEAN, and then the referee, and then MINDFREAK boggled. As SABRINA approaches MUNGBEAN, the referee signals for the bell. SABRINA places one foot on his chest and the referee hits the floor. 1...2...3! And gestures for the bell as SABRINA eliminates her first adversary. MINDFREAK nods and then points towards Premiere. SABRINA cautiously walks over towards Premiere and stomps on his chest to make sure he is unconscious. MINDFREAK shakes his head in disbelief as if saying, "Are you kidding me..." but does not say a word. SABRINA then places a foot down on his chest and the ref. gives the count off "1...2...3!" and calls of the bell to be rang as Premiere is Eliminated. SABRINA's eyes are full of intent and anger as the ref prepares to signal for the two to begin their match...
SABRINA immediately starts throwing both slaps and punches left and right over and over again onto MINDFREAK before the bell rings. The ref then looks down surprised at seeing SABRINA out of nowhere doing this so suddenly! He then tells SABRINA to stop and to get back into her neutral corner, but she does not stop and just keeps up wailing on MINDFREAK. When the referee then finally decides to yank her off MINDFREAK flips over throwing her off of him and rolling out of the ring. MINDFREAK then stands up as the ref has the bell rung starting the match now officially. While walking around though he gets a little bit too close to the ropes and is yanked outside by SABRINA.
She then takes him down with a hard right and begins dragging him over towards the steel steps. SABRINA then places MINDFREAK'S leg on top of it while stepping up onto the first step and onto the ring apron. She points down at MINDFREAK mocking him before jumping off landing a hard knee down onto his hurt leg! You can then hear as MINDFREAK yells out in pain while she picks him up and rolls him into the ring. SABRINA then grabs a hold of the one of MINDFREAK'S leg and yanks it over by the steel ringpost only to wrap it around it nastily while slamming it into it as hard as she can! While he jumps back rolling around in pain SABRINA slowly begins climbing up to the top to the ringpost on the top rope. She mocks MINDFREAK again now as she then jumps off with a leg drop as MINDFREAK somehow just perhaps to roll out of the way at the last second!!! With her crashing down and MINDFREAK still laying there in pain, the ref sees both of them down and decides to start up the 10-count. 1....2......3.......4........5........6 and MINDFREAK has now crawled over and gotten up to his hands and knees using ropes as SABRINA is now back up to her feet. She then comes running over and goes to kick MINDFREAK in his side but he catches her leg and nails the dragon screw!
MINDFREAK then uses this time to get up to his feet and pick up SABRINA now. He then Irish whips her to the ropes and kicks her in her gut on the way back. He takes a step to the side and grabs a hold of her while flipping her up and powerbombing her! He drops down and makes a cover. 1.... and a kickout with ease. MINDFREAK then picks her up and flips her around while hooking her head to then drop her down flat with a reverse DDT drop. He then jumps on her hooking her leg for another pinfall cover. 1.....2..... and a kickout! MINDFREAK then starting to seem a little bit more frustrated picks her up and scoops her up in a suplex-like motion. Instead of nailing a suplex though he goes walking over and throws her straight of the ring!!!!! The crowd pops and starts chanting, "Holy S**t! Holy S**t! Holy S**t!" as MINDFREAK tries to get out of the ring but is stopped by the ref telling him not to go out. MINDFREAK then gets mad and shoves the ref knocking him down somewhat hard. He then rolls out and walks over slowly towards SABRINA when suddenly KID MONEY is seen hopping over the security guard wall! He runs over with a steel folding chair and nails MINDFREAK in the back of his head. KID MONEY then drops the chair after opening it and begins picking up MINDFREAK. He then flips him up holding MINDFREAK straight upward only to drop him down with a stalling brainbuster through the opened steel folding chair onto the cement ground!!!! He then grabs up a tko'd MINDFREAK and rolls him into the ring as SABRINA is slowly crawling into the ring as well. She slowly crawls over to him and drops an arm over him as the ref is coming to. He looks up seeing a cover and starts the count. 1...... 2...... But MINDFREAK snaps back to life and rolls SABRINA up in a small package!! 1… 2… THREE! MINDFREAK has beat the odds and won the match!!!!
NEW HART CHAMPION:
vs.
- - X-Treme Rules - -
NICK NITRO, TRENT, and AIDAN COLLINS are all circling each other in the
middle of the ring then suddenly TRENT and COLLINS start trading punches
and NITRO slides to the outside and grabs a chair from under the ring. He
slides in and smacks TRENT across the back of the head knocking him down.
COLLINS backs off into the corner and NITRO drops the chair and runs toward
him tackling him down and starts hitting him with lefts and rights. He
stands up and grabs COLLINS by the hair and lifts him up. NITRO whips COLLINS
on the ropes and lays him out with a roundhouse kick. NITRO goes back to the
outside and digs under the ring pulling out a long metal pipe. He throws it
in the ring and TRENT picks it up and start wailing on COLLINS. NITRO goes
searching back under the ring and grabs a sledgehammer. He slides back in
the ring only to catch a beating from TRENT with the metal pipe. TRENT
throws the pipe down and grabs NITRO by the throat lifting him up. He backs
NITRO against the turnbuckle and slaps him across the chest and then tries to
break him in half with a shoulder thrust. COLLINS picks up the sledgehammer
and smacks TRENT across the back with it. TRENT drops to his knees and
COLLINS nails him in the neck with the hammer. NITRO gets out of dodge and grabs the steel pipe and starts choking the hell out of COLLINS. He throws COLLINS on the ground and walks over to TRENT and smacks it across his face busting him open. NITRO lifts TRENT to his feet and hangs him over his shoulders and wastes no time driving him down with a death valley driver. COLLINS gets to his feet and approaches NITRO from behind
and performs a back to belly suplex and finishes it by applying the ankle lock. NITRO tries to break the hold, but fails at every attempt. He resorts to reaching for the ropes, but the hold is broken when TRENT grabs COLLINS
by the throat lifts him up and chokeslams him down. NITRO stands up and limps
to pick up the chair and just as TRENT is powerbombing COLLINS, NITRO
smacks him across the back with the chair laying them both out. NITRO goes to
work on TRENT and smashes the chair across his face a few times, and as
COLLINS is leaning up NITRO measures up and lays him out and laughs as blood
starts to pour from his nose and from above his left eye. NITRO rolls outside
and searches under the ring yet again and finds a heavy and lengthy chain.
He slides into the ring with it and starts whipping TRENT with it laughing
every time he screams. COLLINS gets to his feet and damn near indents NITRO
into the ring with a German suplex. COLLINS goes to cover TRENT, but he
kicks out after a 1 count. TRENT throws COLLINS out of the way and goes after NITRO. He lifts NITRO up only to catch a low blow from the steel pipe. NITRO cracks it across his
forehead and TRENT falls backward onto COLLINS crushing him. NITRO picks
the sledge hammer up and climbs the top rope. He leaps off and drives the
hammer into COLLINS' eye socket and watches as he squirms in pain. NITRO
looks on the outside and sees a wooden table. He slides out and grabs it and
slides it in the ring. He climbs up the top rope and leaps off for a diving
elbow on TRENT, but TRENT moves and NITRO drives his elbow into a steel
chair. TRENT stands up and sets up the table that NITRO placed in the
ring. He picks NITRO up and places him on it, but NITRO keeps hitting and
kicking him away. COLLINS comes from out of nowhere and wraps the chain
around TRENT's neck and drags him down. NITRO stands up on the table and
leaps off hitting COLLINS with a missile dropkick. NITRO picks TRENT up and
hits him with a solid right hand knocking him back onto the table. NITRO
pulls a pair of knucks from off his hand and nails COLLINS in the head one more time! NITRO is about to finish them both off.. But TRENT’s hand suddenly thrusts upward and grabs NITRO by the throat! The crowd erupts! TRENT stands up and tightens his grip on NITRO’s throat.. He hoists him up in the air and holds him as the crowd screams.. CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!! NITRO is OUT!! ONE.. TWO.. THREE!!! TRENT GEIN HAS ELIMINATED NICK NITRO!!!! The crowd goes berserk from seeing this as COLLINS now has to grab onto the ring apron to pull himself up. TRENT then whips COLLINS across the ring, upon the way back TRENT picks up COLLINS in a flapjack right over the chair when.... CRUNCH!!! COLLINS somehow came to and used to ropes to stop himself while slamming TRENT and his back right through an opened and standing steel folding chair!!! The crowd starts chanting as COLLINS pulls the hurting TRENT away from the ropes before dropping down and covering him. 1......... 2........ and an amazing kickout!!!! The crowd pops from seeing TRENT kick out!!! COLLINS however has other plans in mind as he then grabs a hold of the steel chair, which is now dented flat and slides out of the ring. He sets it straight in front of the announcer's table as he climbs back in slowly into the ring. COLLINS then grabs up TRENT and whips him up against a steel ringpost. He slowly walks over and climbs up to the second rope while mounting TRENT before starting in with the 10-mounted punches. The crowd counts along with COLLINS as he does so when COLLINS finally gets back down and throws TRENT down to the ring mat. COLLINS then slowly turns back around and climbs up now sitting on the top rope waiting.
TRENT finally rolls back over onto his hands and knees tired out now as COLLINS jumps off crowning him on the way down. With TRENT laid out flat though it appears that COLLINS is going to go in for the pin when instead he grabs his legs and drags TRENT over to the side. COLLINS then drops down catapulting TRENT up and over the top rope sending him over and down head first onto the pre-dented steel folding chair!!!!! No sooner than 30 seconds after TRENT lands on the chair a pool of blood begins forming from under his head. COLLINS and the ref then get out of the ring to check on TRENT when COLLINS instead starts stomping on TRENT'S broke up head on the steel folding chair showing no mercy on him!! COLLINS then grabs up a knocked out TRENT and rolls his bleeding lifeless body back into the ring as he and the ref get in too. COLLINS then steps on TRENT'S chest in a cocky pin as the ref slides in. 1...... 2.....THREE!!!
WINNER:
vs.
vs.
- - 50 Point Bonus X-Treme Elimination Match - -
The referee signals for the beginning of the match. JASON MUDD eyes up STAR, and they begin circling one another. STAR goes in for a quick trip-kick, but JASON MUDD simply jumps
over top of it, lashing out with a haymaker, but it isn't on target. STAR catches him by the wrist and in a type of judo toss, throws him down to the mat, pulling backwards on his wrist in a dragon hammerlock. MUDD feels the pain shoot up through his elbow, turning the joints into hollow points of nervous sensation. He quickly bites down on his feet however, rolling backwards, twisting his arm, so that he pulls STAR to him in a sort of deadly dance, placing her in a sleeper hold. STAR quickly tries to break it, dropping down, flat onto her gluts, rolling backwards, capturing JASON MUDD’S legs. He begins to fall backwards, his momentum being shifted, unexpectedly. STAR takes advantage of it, hitting q quick German suplex that sends JASON MUDD to the other side of the ring. He staggers to his feet soon after, narrowly dodging a spear, from STAR. She comes back from the ring ropes, attempting a lariat, but MUDD jumps into the air, a wide arc, delivering a vicious drop kick that sends Star reeling backwards... she smacks the back of her head against the middle rope, and falls slack to the side. She begins to roll away from the ring, but MUDD captures her foot, dragging her back in, going to work back on her neck, delivering a quick elbow drop onto her spine, pulling his arm between his legs as he locks her neck back! He's got her in the rings of Saturn.
STAR is reaching for her jaw, clawing at his hands, but there's very few ways out of this hold,. Knowing that her only chance resides in powering out, she draws to herself her strength, beginning to push upwards, forcing MUDD’S formidable hold to begin shaking. His grip slackens for but a moment, but it's all STAR needs. She quickly slides forward, slamming her boot into his
nose, shattering it within a moment. MUDD grabs his bleeding face, as STAR, with her adrenaline pumping jumps back onto her feet, turning around wildly, as she climbs the top rope. She then signals to the crowd, as she jumps off, a graceful dive that lands with her doing a hart attack, on JASON MUDD. JASON MUDD’S head smacks vertical to the canvas, his eyes rolling up into his head for a moment.
Taking advantage of this, STAR quickly does a splash on the back of his head, the going back to work on his arm. She locks in a fujiwara arm bar, pulling for all she was worth, ramming the edge of her elbow into his shoulder blade, unsatisfied with the audible pops and cracks the ligaments snapping underneath sinewy muscle. JASON MUDD bites down, flexing his biceps, as he maneuvers his legs forward, capturing STAR between them, locking her in a headlock, yet she reverses it... OH MY GOD!
STAR IS SHOWING HER CONDITIONING! SHE JUST POWERBOMBED JASON MUDD!
JASON MUDD rattled, but does not release the hold, he clenches it on even tighter. STAR's face is going red. She tries to take him back up, but her legs are shaking from the effort. However, she gets him back up once more... POWERBOMB AGAIN! We see the side of MUDD’S head has begun to bleed, a thick sheen of sweat pouring from his brow, yet once again, the hold is not broken. Star gathers every fiber of her being into this last push, not attempting a powerbomb this time, but an.. OH MY GOD! SHE JUST FLIPPED JASON MUDD OVER HER SHOULDER! HE'S FLYING OUT OF THE RING! OH MY GOD! JASON MUDD JUST HIT THE GROUND LIKE A DOLL!
STAR tries to stand, but she's lost too much energy. As she fights for air, she's driven to one knee. JASON MUDD however, is trying to roll back to his sense on the outside, holding one hand on the guard rail. STAR however sees where she can capitalize, as she quickly climbs the top rope once more, signaling for the MOVE! OH MY GOD!
STAR IS ATTEMPTING THE SPARKLING INTUITION! SHE'S SOARING THROUGH THE AIR... OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
JASON MUDD JUST JUMPED TO HIS FEET, HITTING A MID-AIR HIP TOSS ON STAR! SHE'S FLYING INTO THE CROWD!
CRASH!!!
As STAR's body smacks into several fans, chairs and popcorn vendors, JASON MUDD stomps back over to her, holding his head, stumbling slightly. He picks her up, delivering several hard right hands, but the broken STAR, now bleeding from the mouth and eyes, matches him blow for blow! This WOMAN CAN BANG!
The two superstars battle it back to the ring, each one rolling back in, still clobbering at one another. Yet, JASON MUDD seems to get the upper hand for a moment, kicking STAR in the stomach! STAR bends forward, but is quickly met with a DDT! SHE'S DOWN, AND JASON MUDD HAS HIS CHANCE! HE SNAPS IN THE SHARPSHOOTER! STAR is in trouble!! She’s screaming in pain, but MUDD has it locked in! She’s ready to tap!! She grabs the ref as he leans in, and she pulls him into the ropes!! DYNAMITE comes in with a steel chair and absolutely CLOBBERS MUDD! MUDD crumbles to the ground, losing the hold along the way! STAR rolls out of the ring, sending DYNAMITE back up the ramp. The BLOOD HOUNDS are at it again!! The ref gets back to one knee as STAR straddles MUDD and puts on a COBRA CLUTCH! She puts all her weight on MUDD’s back and pulls with all her might on his head!! MUDD is already woozy and out of it, and he finally has no choice! JASON MUDD TAPS OUT!! The ref calls for the bell!!
STILL CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION:
The ref is knocked down!!
MUDD holds the sharpshooter, and STAR CAN’T STAND IT!!
She TAPS!!
SHE TAPPED OUT!!
SHE TAPPED OUT!!
BUT THE REF IS OUT!!
And here comes DYNAMIC DYNAMITE!!
The BloodKnight Rogue JUST BITCHSLAPPED JONATHYN BROWN! OH... MY... GOD.
Back in the arena, STEVE SAYORS once again enters the ring with mic in hand..
The fans cheer as EXTREME WARRIOR’s theme song hits, accompanied by a highlight reel on the X-Tron of some of his greatest moments..
The fans burst into even greater applause as WARRIOR makes his way out to the stage! He looks relaxed and healthy in a smart three-piece suit as he waves to the fans and humbly accepts the reaction of the fans.. He gets into the ring and SAYORS welcomes him with a hearty handshake. WARRIOR looks at the crowd and decides that he needs to hop up on the turnbuckle and throw has arms in the air! The fans love it!! He still looks like a champion!
He hops down and looks pumped up as SAYORS once again speaks.
Suddenly, Clown Walk by The Insane Clown Posse blares over the speakers.
EXTREME WARRIOR gets a look of disgust on his face as he grabs a hold of SAYORS asking what’s going on.
JUGGALO comes stomping out on the stage area with the X-Treme Title over his shoulder. He asks for a mic, a request that is quickly granted.
JUGGALO LEGEND? LEGEND? Am I hearing this s*** right? I can think of exactly 87 people who deserve this before you. Two of which are THE FRAMED PICTURE OF DARKHAN and DR. BADD.
The crowd lets out a chuckle.
WARRIOR: You have no right to be here? This is my time.
JUGGALO Do you seriously think that you were going to get this award? I paid Nicole to give me some time on the show just to lure your ass back here. You see I have a few loose ends I need to tie up in my career and you’re the lesser of them. So let’s say we have a match.
WARRIOR: NO! NEVER! YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE IN THE SAME RING AS ME!
JUGGALO I figured you were still a pussy.
WARRIOR: HEY SCREW YOU MAN.
JUGGALO Nah no thanks. I mean doesn’t it bother you that every time we are in the same arena as each other you end up bloody?
WARRIOR: I WON’T BE BLOODY TONIGHT!
JUGGALO On the contrary.
Suddenly A chair hits WARRIOR in the back of his head. LISHA is standing in the ring holding a chair. JUGGALO slowly strolls down to ringside and rolls into the ring.
JUGGALO lifts WARRIOR up and props him up in the corner.
JUGGALO You’re right WARRIOR you won’t end up bloody tonight because I don’t want you claiming you’re injured to weasel out of our match. Instead I’m going to make an example out of someone else.
JUGGALO takes the chair and blindsides SAYORS with a shot to the side of the head. He then begins to lay into SAYORS with a bevy of chair shots until blood starts flying off the chair with every shot. WARRIOR attacks JUGGALO with a double ax handle but LISHA low blows him from behind. JUGGALO scoops him up and nails the Riddlebox on SAYORS’ limp body. JUGGALO takes some of SAYORS blood and smears it on WARRIOR’S face.
JUGGALO This man’s blood is on your hands now. It’s your fault I did this.
JUGGALO drops the X-Treme belt in front of WARRIOR’S face and grabs him by the hair showing him the title.
JUGGALO: If I have this belt, or ANYTHING around my waist tonight coming out of this PPV, I will put it on the line! I challenge you, LEGEND.. My title versus your career. See me on Anarchy if you accept!
JUGGALO stomps WARRIOR one more time, then leaves. The crowd is silent looking at JUGGALO has done in the ring.
As WARRIOR helps his old friend SAYORS up and out of harm’s way, RYAN STEVENS is shown on top of the scaffold where the cage is. He has a microphone. The SAINT's personal ring announcer looks down and gulps because he’s afraid of heights. He sucks it up and starts his intro.
RYAN STEVENS: Ladies and gentlemen. We are here live in the City of Champions. St. Louis, Missouri. In this match, all of Anarchy's championships will be on the line. You fans will have the pleasure of seeing a real champion in St. Louis. He is right up there along the lines of other famous St. Louisians like... Jimmy Connors... Mark Buerhle... Bob Costas... Jack Buck.. Joe Buck... Harry Carray.... Dick Weber... Miles Davis.... Stan Musial.. Albert Puljos... Ryan Howard...
RYAN takes a drink..
RYAN STEVENS: Continuing with Larry Hughes... Charles Lindbergh.... Jackie Joyner-Kerse.... Pat LaFontaine.... Bill Mueller.... Nelly... The Ortons... Neil Rackers... Branch Rickey.. and The Wizard of OZ... Ozzie Smith. Introducing a man that is a more of a champion than any of these people combined. He weighs in at a slim, trim, and chiseled 238 pounds. He is the Technical Messiah, The King of Cages, The King of Kings, The Lord of the Ring, The Best Wrestler in the World. And I man that will have more titles than the St. Louis Cardinals can ever dream of having. He is your reigning and defending XWC World Heavyweight Champion. He is the BOONDOCK SAINT!!!
The crowd showers STEVENS and SAINT with boos as the match is set to begin!
The competitors are locked inside the cage and they see all of the weapons around the cage. There are chairs, Singapore Canes, chains, and other implements of destruction. The bell rings and ALEX, CONNOLLY, and KID MONEY are in the ring to start off this match. All of the speedsters are in the ring. CONNOLLY makes a beeline for KID, but ALEX trips him up with a Drop Toe Hold. KID hits a Basement Dropkick to the face of CONNOLLY. ALEX drops an elbow into the back of CONNOLLY's head. It looks like the Order and the Hounds are working together. KID picks up CONNOLLY slams his head off the cage. KID starts to celebrate, but ALEX grabs KID's head and slams it off the steel. ALEX starts stomping away at KID in the corner. KID knows that he is in trouble so he scrambles the Legacy corner and tags in the SAINT. SAINT climbs in and stares down with ALEX. The two of them start shoving each other, but SAINT gets in a shove that knocks ALEX over. CONNOLLY was actually behind ALEX on his hands and knees and didn't know that ALEX was there. SAINT tells CONNOLLY to start beating on ALEX, but CONNOLLY is hurting. Suddenly, JUGGALO and KID are exchanging blows on the outside of the ring! More dissention in the Blood Hounds!! DYNAMITE comes over and attempts to break them up. JUGGALO blindsides DYNAMITE out of nowhere and KID joins in stomping on him. SABRINA WILSON and LISHA run out from the back and start laying the boots to DYNAMITE as well. DYNAMITE is just getting destroyed. KID MONEY grabs a mic.
KID MONEY: Ya didn't see it coming man, I mean I sorta felt bad about that, i blame it on my hustle skills cuz NOBODY SAW IT COMING!!! Everybody thought it would be me and JUGGALO at each others throats but we suckered everybody from CRIMSON KLINE on down. Did you guys actually think that I wouldn't be at somebody’s house with my eagle drawn if somebody stabbed SABRINA?
JUGGALO: Well you were at my house but you weren’t drawing your eagle. You were running draw plays on my ass playing Madden laughing at these morons falling hook line and sinker.
KID MONEY: You owe me another game too. Yeah that stabbing It was all staged with some Hollywood props that we got from a close friend of ours and everybody bought into it.
JUGGALO: Should we bring him out yet?
KID MONEY: Nah! Now lets get something straight DYNAMITE, I LEAD THE HOUNDS, I RUN THIS! You, your just along for the ride, i say jump, you say how high. In other words DYNAMITE from this moment on you are no longer my equal, for lack of a better term, YOUR MY BITCH!
JUGGALO: Takes the mic DYNAMITE did you really think I gave a shit about you and Arson? I don’t care for either of you. Do you think I would turn my back on my best friend? You’re either stupid or well stupid.
JUGGALO stomps DYNAMITE and lifts him up on his shoulders setting up the Riddlebox. Kid Money slaps him across the face a few times to wake him back up. LISHA and SABRINA sets up a table on the outside of the ring. The begins stacking light bulbs on the table.
KID MONEY: We all saw what happened when you were left to lead the Hounds, you single handedly turned one of the most dominant stables EVER into a joke and made some of the most bone headed moves i have ever seen in my life, your no leader man and you never will be. However i know you DYNAMITE and you'll never be able to get that through your thick skull until i prove it to you. So DYNAMITE this is what i suggest, KID MONEY, SABRINA WILSON, and JUGGALO VS DYNAMITE, STAR, AND ARSON! I'm not talking one match either DYNAMITE.
JUGGALO climbs to the top rope with DYNAMITE still on his shoulders.
KID MONEY: I'm talking about one WAR! So DYNAMITE it’s your choice, accept your place in the hounds as nothing more than my bitch or you can go to war with me and I CAN DESTROY YOU! The Choice is yours but until then…
KID motions to JUGGALO who proceeds to leap from the top rope hitting the Riddlebox through the table as both men writhe in pain. KID MONEY grabs DYNAMITE and rolls him back in the ring. JUGGALO pulls himself back up to the top rope as the girls yanks down DYNAMITE’S trunks. They stack light tubes on DYNAMITE crotch along with thumb tacks and a barbed wire bat. JUGGALO leaps double stomping DYNAMITE’S crotch.
SABRINA WILSON: Consider yourself Neutered!
SABRINA gives DYNAMITE one more kick to the groin before they leave the EMT’S to attend to DYNAMITE, who says he wants to finish the match! He wants that title!!
Back in the ring, CONNOLLY tags in RIZZA and it looks like The Legacy is going to enjoy an advantage. SAINT whips ALEX off the ropes and RIZZA does a one man Flapjack to him. SAINT bounces off of the ropes and hits a Great Muta Elbow to the head of ALEX. RIZZA starts stomping away at ALEX and SAINT lifts him up. SAINT whips ALEX into the Legacy corner. He is in the wrong part of town. SAINT tells CONNOLLY to beat on ALEX, but ALEX tags CONNOLLY and rolls back into the Order's corner. All three members of the Legacy are in the ring at the same time!!! SAINT and RIZZA are pissed while CONNOLLY cracks a wry smile. SAINT and RIZZA go to tag other teams in, but the run to the other ring. It looks like the Legacy is stuck. The ref tells them to go at it. SAINT whispers into RIZZA's ear and they agree on something. RIZZA starts to let SAINT climb the cage and go for the belts. CONNOLLY catches this and grabs the leg of the SAINT. PRINCE AKEEM can't believe this. CONNOLLY yanks SAINT off of the cage and crotches BOONY on the top rope. RIZZA is pissed and goes for a Rizzaliner, but CONNOLLY ducks and hits a Superkick. Has CONNOLLY turned on the Legacy or is he in it for the World Title. SAINT tries to gather himself, but gets whipped off the ropes by CONNOLLY. CONNOLLY goes for a Clothesline, but BOONY rolls through and tags in JUGGALO who wasn't looking. JUGGALO gets in the ring and locks up with CONNOLLY. CONNOLLY is too powerful and gets the advantage. CONNOLLY picks up JUGGALO and hits the Paragon Bomb. Cover... ONE.. TWO.. DYNAMIC DYNAMITE comes in and breaks up the pin. SAINT comes in from behind and hits a Back Jack on DYNAMITE that sends him into the other ring. CONNOLLY is in shock that he didn't get a three count. In all of the confusion, RIZZA starts choking JUGGALO while the ref is dealing with the fight between SAINT and DYNAMIC. LEE STONE blind tags CONNOLLY and rushes over towards RIZZA and plants him with a DDT. Cover... ONE.. TWO.. RIZZA kicks out. JUGGALO and STONE start to work together and have a plan for RIZZA. JUGGALO picks up RIZZA and STONE goes to the top rope. JUGGALO hits the backbreaker while STONE comes off with a Leg drop from the top rope. Cover by STONE.. ONE.. TWO... JUGGALO breaks it up. STONE pops up and shoves LEE. STONE asks him why he broke up the pin. JUGGALO wants to beat RIZZA himself. JUGGALO hits STONE with a thumb to the eye and whips STONE into the ropes. STEVE JASON sees this and blind tags himself in. STEVE JASON mounts the top rope while JUGGALO misses a Lariat. STEVE JASON leaps off the top with a clothesline while STONE clips the knee of JUGGALO. ALEX CUTWRIGHT doesn't miss a beat and hits a Quebrada (Moonsault from the middle rope) ALEX tries to hook the leg, but the ref tells ALEX that he isn't the legal man. RIZZA tries to drop an elbow on ALEX, but he hits JUGGALO instead. SAINT and DYNAMITE are still brawling in the other ring. DYNAMITE grabs a chair and cleans the clock of the SAINT. DYNAMITE tosses SAINT into the main ring and continues the assault. The ref tries to tell DYNAMITE to go back to the Hounds corner, but RIZZA comes over and boots DYNAMITE in the face making him drop the chair. DYNAMITE is sent back into the other ring. RIZZA lifts up SAINT and Gorilla Presses him onto JUGGALO. SAINT and RIZZA are working like a team. ALEX superkicks RIZZA off of his feet and goes for a cover. ONE.. TWO.. SAINT breaks up the pinfall. RIZZA crawls over to CONNOLLY and makes the tag. SAINT puts a waistlock on ALEX and tells CONNOLLY to drop him with a STO/German Suplex Combo, but ALEX wriggles free and CONNOLLY hits SAINT with an STO. CONNOLLY stands in amazement, but is indifferent while AKEEM is pissed. ALEX comes up from behind and tries to Russian Leg Sweep CONNOLLY as AKEEM reaches into his pocket for white powder. CONNOLLY hits a few elbows to ALEX's head and AKEEM hits CONNOLLY in the face with the powder. CONNOLLY is blinded, but manages to block a stiff kick from ALEX and locks on the CDT. ALEX strains and struggles, and is forced to tap out.
- - METAL MAYHEM MATCH - -