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TIKO'S BLEAK MAGIC

Episode 1 – Hallie’s Secret Past

Scene: Deep in the Black Forest, Germany
Music: “Silent Night” (First Verse)

This is a perfect setting for those who wish for the perfect Christmas – snow as far as the eye can see, beautiful decorations and a peaceful silence. As we zoom in through a window in a country house, we see that one little girl is not at all happy…

[Music changes – Limp Biskit – “My Generation” (Instrumental)]

As we speak she is chopping down the Christmas tree, tearing the tinsel from the roof and snapping the lights into bits… hang on – this is some girl we know…

(Music stops)

Lio: (comes into the room) HALLIE!

She turned to face him.

Lio: What the heck is wrong with you? It’s Christmas!
Hallie: Exactly, and I’ve had problems with that for the past 25 years!
Lio: Problems? You never told me or any other sibling…
Hallie: Well you’re about to find out now – 25 Christmases ago I was waiting eagerly for Santa. It was 1:17 in the morning and I was still as lively as ever…

FLASHBACK
********************************************************
(Hallie then sounded like her usual self, but with a higher-pitched voice and some xylophone music gets played in the background)

Little Hallie: Come on Santa – it’s been 1am and I am waiting for my presents! You best bring me them or else…

She put her fist back harshly, destroying a Barbie doll on her bedside cabinet. Then there was a noise from the chimney. Some soot was seen drifting down to the bottom.

Little Hallie: (excitedly) That’s him! (ducks under bed covers)

The climber came down the chimney and it looked like an old Arctic fox.

Little Hallie: (peeks through the bed covers and gasps) Santa Claus?

The fox had his eyes set on the broken toy. Without a sound, he took it and went back up the chimney. When he disappeared, she went red with anger…

Little Hallie: (jumps out from the bed covers in a rage) THAT ROTTEN SANTA TOOK MY DOLL!!! NO ONE STEALS FROM MEEEEEE!!!! (starts trashing her room)
*******************************************************************
Hallie: I didn’t get any presents since then…
Lio: So THAT’S how you lost your Christmas spirit… interesting…
Tiko: (comes into the room) Hallie! Lio! Why aren’t you guys…
Lio: (points at Hallie) Hallie hasn’t had any presents in the past!
Tiko: But… I thought…
Deksta: (calling from kitchen) Maybe she lost her Christmas spirit.
Hallie: That’s because of an incident with Nicky 25 years ago.
Tiko: Grrrr… If THAT’S the case, we’ll take 25 years worth of pride for you! LET’S ROLL!

The gang leave the room and head towards the basement.

(As that happens, the camera zooms out through the window and through the snowstorm of the Black Forest towards the land Down Under. At the same time, the title and credits run alongside Oxide & Neutrino – “No Good 4 Me”. When the song finishes, the scene quickly changes to a watery area half a mile from N. Sanity Beach.)

Pura is seen on a floatable raft drinking a cocktail and listening to the walkman stereo…

Pura: (sings) You may hate me but it ain’t no lie, baby bye bye bye…

[Music changes – Beach Boys – “Surfin’ USA” (Instrumental)]

Suddenly, a great force spun Pura’s raft around in circles, nearly causing a capsizing.

Pura: WHAT THE… (looks at the “force”) Oh no…

The camera catches up with the force, and we see Dr. Neo Cortex taking Private Boron for a water skiing ride.

Cortex: OK, triple splits somersault, NOW!

Boron made a jump up into the air, did the splits and flipped 3 times in that position. As he came down for landing, he tripped up, broke one of the skis and fell face flat into the water.

Cortex: (stops the engine) Hang in there…

At the same time, Pura was riding his raft over to the speedboat.

Pura: Just wait ‘til I get my hands on you guys… you are dead meat…

(Music stops)

Over at the speedboat, everything came to a halt.

Cortex: Let’s see if I can shape you up… bring back the other half of the ski and I’ll see what’s wrong with it.

Boron took the skis off and swam towards his target. At the same time, Pura finally caught up with the speedboat.

Pura: (angrily) What the heck do you think you’re doing, and why does Boron have that stupid headscarf over his eyes?
Cortex: Boron wanted a water skiing ride, and he thinks that headscarf is the new thing.
Pura: Well, could you tell him to take it off?
Cortex: We tried. We really tried but we can’t do it.
Pura: What do you mean you can’t do it? It’s just a case of undoing a simple knot…
Cortex: That’s the problem. He pulled too many knots in one go. We also tried to get it off with scissors, hacksaws, drills, electricity, missiles and lasers!
Pura: I guess you’re having trouble…

Boron came swimming back with his broken ski and a fuzzy blue object…

Cortex: OK, pass the ski over.

Boron tried, but he sent over the fuzzy object by mistake…

Pura: (screams) A DEAD SQUIRREL!!!!!
Cortex: It’s not a squirrel - it’s an arctic fox.
Pura: Squirrel, fox… they’re the same, aren’t they?
Boron: (shook his head) UH-UH!
Cortex: This is a serious condition… (puts the fox in the speedboat) Come on, cubs! We have a casualty to sort out!

(Music restarts – WWF – Unforgiven theme)

Pura and Boron hopped on board and the speedboat headed back for the shore…
*********************************************
Episode 2 – The Lost Vixen

Scene: The shores of N. Sanity Beach

We see Crash napping as usual, along with Coco working hard on her laptop and Polar finishing off his sandcastle…

Polar: (puts on the final seashell) That should do the trick…

[Music starts – Angelic – “Can’t Keep It Silent” (Instrumental)]

Suddenly, Cortex, Pura and Boron come speeding towards the shore in the speedboat with the fox…

Cortex: (struggles to pick up the victim) Boron, could you help me out?

Boron saluted and rushed towards him, helping out in the errand.

Coco: What’s going on?
Pura: Chaos out at sea, Coco!
Coco: Geez… Crash… (nudges him) Wake up! We have a problem here…
Crash: (tiredly) Ah… what?
Cortex: Boron, put her down…

The victim was put on the ground.

Crash: That thing, eh? What are we supposed to do with that?
Coco: We try the kiss of life, stupid.
Crash: Oh…
Cortex: I’ll sort out the chest presses. (looks directly at Crash) You breathe in by the mouth.
Crash: Why me?
Coco: I can’t do it because I’m a girl, and the cubs are just… cubs.
Crash: Fine…

Crash and Cortex both carried out the procedure with great care… until the victim started coughing slightly…

(Music stops)

Polar: SHE’S ALIIIIIIIVE!
Coco: Excellent!

[Music changes – Moby – “Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad” (Instrumental)]

The fox sat up, still feeling weak.

Cortex: Are you OK?

(The vixen sounded like Claire Danes. *)

Vixen: Where… where am I?
Crash: You’re on the shores of an island just off the coast of Australia.
Vixen: Oh darn…
Crash: What’s the matter?
Vixen: I’m miles away from home, and it’s very important… I’m one of Santa’s little helpers.
Crash fainted with shock.
Cortex: So, if you’re a “pixie”, then how come you’re in the wrong hemisphere?
Vixen: It’s chaos. Utter chaos. I went drifting off an iceberg that broke off, and it melted on the Africa coast. It was around October.
Cortex: (gasps) You have strength…
Coco: It’s a pleasure to meet you. Who are you?
Vixen: My name’s Monnika Muski. I’m one of 2 female assistants there.
Polar: Sounds hip…
Coco: Hi. I’m Coco and these are my friends – Pura, Polar, Boron, Neo Cortex and my brother Crash…
Monnika: Crash, eh? Is that why he fainted?

(The gang laugh)

Polar: (laughing wildly) Good one…
Monnika: Yes, I AM a bit of a comic at times, but I’m more Kurt Angle than Snappy Gator…
Cortex: You know him?
Monnika: Nah – I can remember him from the news bulletins nearly a decade ago. Anyway, back to business. Obviously, Santa’s place isn’t the same without me, so can you take me back?
Coco: (reviving Crash) We’ll see what we can do.
Crash: (recovers) What ARE we doing?
Coco: I’ll explain on the way.

The gang leave the beach for the Castle.

5 MINUTES LATER, ROUND THE BACK OF CORTEX CASTLE

(Music changes – Radiohead – “Talk Show Host”)

The gang were looking at all the transport…

Monnika: Wow… I can’t believe you have all THIS lot! But…
Pura: But what?
Monnika: But most of the equipment is busted.
Cortex: (stutters) That’s what happened to those machines in one of our ventures, when Crash had to free us all and earn revenge.
Monnika: Cool! I wish I did that…
Crash: So… what are we using to fly to the North Pole?
Cortex: Hmmm… The only thing we have left is that blimp over there… (points to the blimp)
Coco: Hey – I’ve never seen that since 1997!
Polar: No time for flashbacks – we have to roll!

The gang hopped into the blimp and headed straight for the Arctic…
*****************************
Episode 3 – Eye of the Storm

Scene: 5km above sea level, just above China
Music: LeAnn Rimes - “Can’t Fight The Moonlight” (Instrumental)

The gang were seen in the blimp riding towards the North Pole. Coco and Monnika were talking to each other, Cortex and Boron were at the cockpit, Crash was just napping and Polar and Pura were having what was a friendly game of chess…

Polar: I’ll move my pawn over here… (moves the pawn to square C7)
Pura: (eliminates Polar’s king) Checkmate!
Polar: Dang… (smacks his fist on the chess board) not again…

(A voice was heard and it sounded like TK from “Digimon”)

Voice: Don’t give up your hopes – you’re nearly at your destination.
Polar: Who… who was that?
Pura: Who was what?
Polar: I thought… I thought I heard a voice…
Pura: It must be your imagination.
Polar: Let me check… girls, did you hear anything?
Coco: We sure did – a storm coming this way!
Polar: I guess that would wait… What about you, Crash?
Crash: Zzzzzz…
Polar: Yeah, I thought so. (rushes to the cockpit) Guys, did you hear or make a noise?
Boron: Er…
Polar: I know it’s not you… it sounded squeaky…
Cortex: CALL ME A GIRL AND YOU’RE DEAD!!!!!!!
Polar: (blushes anime-style) Sorry if I disturbed you… (leaves the cockpit) Who can it be?

[Music changes – Fatboy Slim – “The Rockafeller Skank” (Instrumental)]

Some thunder was heard from out of the window and heavy rain and gale force winds tried to attack the blimp, causing it to rock side by side.

Coco: HEEEEEELP!
Monnika: Hang in there…

Both girls hung onto the same light bulb on the ceiling and started laughing, Pura was packing his chess set away furiously, Cortex and Boron buckled up in the cockpit while Crash did nothing.

Polar: Crash, please! We’re in a bad storm! (nudges him madly)
Crash: Zzzzzzz…
Polar: COME ON! HEEEEEELP!

The door was destroyed and removed and the blimp tilted 60 degrees, causing Crash to slide towards the door.

Polar: (rushes towards him) WAAAAAIT…

(Music stops)

But it was too late – Crash was out of the blimp like a paper aeroplane. The storm calmed down too, stopping within seconds…

Polar: Crash… (sniffs) Why…
Coco: (sighs sadly) I’m gonna miss him…
Voice: Miss who?

[Music changes – Backstreet Boys – “Shape Of My Heart” (Intro instrumental)]

Polar: (gasps) That’s the voice I was telling you guys about!
Cortex: (leaves the cockpit) What’s going on… (gasps)

The person with the voice came out of nowhere, with Crash on his shoulders. Upon touching down inside the blimp he drops his cargo…

Crash: Ow!

…and walks straight towards Cortex. As he heads into the light, we see that he is a young crocodile.

Cortex: (gasps) Snappy? No… he’s dead.
Crocodile: (stops walking) Are you Neo Cortex?

Shocked by the surprise, Cortex gave in a slight nod.

Crocodile: My dad knew you. I’ve been spending the past 2 years looking for you.
Cortex: Why are you doing this?
Crocodile: This is for revenge on the Cerulean Wizard. (puts his fists together)
Cortex: Well… it’s a pleasure to meet you.
Crocodile: Same here. I’m Midget.
Rest of the gang: Hi!

(Some bongo music gets played)

There was a violent bang on the blimp, causing it to rock slightly…

Midget: Woah… This is getting very unsteady here…
Crash: Let me check it out…
Cortex: I’m coming with you!

Boron howled wildly and followed the crew to the top of the blimp…
*******************************************************
Episode 4 – Force 2 Force

Scene: The top of the blimp, now hovering 5000m above East Russia
Music: Kid Rock – “American Bad Ass” (Intro instrumental)

The gang were seen coming out from the blimp armed and dangerous…

Crash: OK, who set the bang?
Coco: Maybe it was just a plane in which collided with us by accident.
Voice: You are SO wrong!
Crash: Eh?
Cortex: Be careful… you never know what to expect…
Crash: Pipe it – I always know my target, and that target will be YOU if you…

BANG!

(Music changes – Storm – “Storm Animal”)

Crash: Wha… what was that?

Tiko and his gang came out from the clouds and towards the blimp in the airship.

Tiko: So… you think you’re gonna get away with it, are ya?
Midget: You’re coming in for a right thrash, mate! And besides, what you did to my dad was horrid, so you’re gonna face more strength from Crocodile Shoes Junior. (puts his fists together)
Tiko: And since when did you know about my scheme to take Santa hostage?
Cortex: (gasps) YOU WHAT?!?
Monnika: No one takes my pride away from me!
Deksta: Your pride? Ha!
Coco: What do you think is so funny?
Deksta: It’s that we’re taking that fox down…
Monnika: I’m a VIXEN, you bugger!
Hallie: Who cares? She could be the key to Santa…
Monnika: And you’re not taking me down!

Immediately, she shot up into the air and preformed an ice beam right at the gang, freezing a huge majority of them frozen solid…

Lio: Brrr…. It’s too c-c-c-cold!
Monnika: Maybe you guys oughta chill out! (laughs)

But before she could say anything else, Tiko stepped out of the dust cloud and we see that he didn’t even get hit!

Monnika: (gasps) AYE CARAMBA!

She tried to form another ice beam, but nothing came out…

Crash: Now what?
Monnika: My power… I’m too weak to fight…
Cortex: Take it easy, because there are still the others! Stand back, and let the fireworks explode…

He drew out his laser and pulled the trigger, striking down the enemy…

Deksta: T-t-tiko!

Within seconds, she broke out of her ice sculpture and dashed over…

Deksta: Are you OK?
Tiko: I’m fine, but I want you to take my strategy…

He whispers into her ear and upon hearing those words Deksta gave in a smile. Then she dashed off and freed the others by breaking the ice…

Crash: Oh no…
Midget: How did she do that?

The very moment Lio was free, he threw a batch of ooze right at our heroes, pinning them down. Then Deksta came over and went for Monnika…

Deksta: Your happy days are numbered, vixen!
Monnika: (faintly) Help…

She tied her up and carried her back to the airship…

Crash: You… you ain’t gonna get away with this!
Tiko: (gets up) Ah, but we can!

The enemies hopped into the airship and flew as far north away from them as possible…

(Music stops)

Midget: You… numbskulls…

Just then, Polar and Pura came up…

Polar: Guys, we heard you scre… Oh no…
Pura: What the heck has he done this time?
Coco: Monnika’s gone, and now she’s gonna be used to take on Santa…
Polar: Oh great…
Pura: We need to help you out!

Soon enough, the two cubs were set to work to try and free the gang…
**************************
Episode 5 – Down With Foxy Pleasure

Scene: Just outside Santa’s Workshop
Music: Outkast – “Ms. Jackson” (Instrumental)

Tiko and the others were seen here with Monnika all tied up, leading them to Santa…

Monnika: (acting worried) Behind the trees now… that’s it…
Tiko: If this is the wrong place, we’ll freeze you to death!
Monnika: (acting worried) But it IS the right place!
Deksta: Let me see… (peeks through the window)

Through the window she can see thousands of arctic foxes, most of these old with big white beards.

Deksta: (turns to Hallie) You call THEM Santa’s?
Hallie: (stutters) Er…
Deksta: (turns back to the window) Man, I’m gonna thrash you one when we get back home… (gasps) IT’S THE REAL SANTA CLAUS!
Lio: You WHAT?!?
Tiko: If only if Moe and Oxide celebrated Christmas like us… then they can see what fun we’ll have with him…
Hallie: This will be the best Christmas ever…
Deksta: Only for the four of us!
Lio: This will be a pure paradise!

(Music stops)

INSIDE

Santa was seen polishing his sleigh for the journey with a younger fox in his 20’s…

Santa: I don’t know if I can handle this journey with a missing vixen…
Fox: Cheer up – we could still find a replacement, or we could do without…
Santa: But she’s so special to me – her magic always soothes the skies…
Tiko: And that magic will soon be hours!
Santa: Eh?

[Music changes – WWF – Kane’s theme (“Out Of The Fire”)

Tiko and the others came in barging in with Monnika all tied up…

Santa: Monnika! (pauses, panting) You’re alive!
Deksta: Maybe so, but she isn’t YOUR little present…
Monnika: What the heck do you think you’re doing?
Hallie: This, baby! (ties Santa up with a cane) He’s gonna stay that way!
Monnika: Grrr…
Lio: You guys do everything you tell us if you want to have a happy new year, or else…
Cub: Or else what, jerk?
Lio: Or else Santa will be sorry…
Fox: Awww…
Cub: Do we HAVE to?
Tiko: Yep. Now load up all the presents into our airship!

The foxes started packing the presents and taking them towards the airship…
*********************************************
Episode 6 – To The Rescue

Scene: Somewhere on the coast of the Arctic
Music: Limp Biskit – “Take A Look Around” (Intro instrumental)

The foxes were seen dumping all of the presents into Tiko’s airship…

Santa: Why are you doing this? I don’t understand this…
Hallie: So how come you can’t understand what happened to me 25 years ago?
Santa: What happened?
Hallie: Your fox took my favourite Barbie doll away from me!
Santa: But he won’t do a thing like that!
Old fox: That’s true! I was only trying to fix it, and I’ll prove it!

He heads back to the workshop, and returns with the same Barbie doll, only that it’s been fixed.

(Music fades)

Hallie: But… I thought…

The old fox put his hand on her forehead and in her head comes what really happened…
******************************************************************
Little Hallie just woke up in the middle of the night and saw no sign of her doll.

Little Hallie: (gasps) Someone took my dolly! (cries)
******************************************************************
[Music restarts – Craig – “At This Time Of Year” (Intro)]

Hallie: Man… (buries her face into the doll, crying) I should have thought carefully about this…
Tiko: That little liar…
Monnika: I didn’t realise that enemies have hearts…
Santa: Maybe that’s because they grow bigger, just like their instincts.

(Music changes – WWF – Mankind’s theme)

Tiko: Maybe so, but we’re still taking all of these presents anyway!
Santa: But… why? You’ve learnt what you’ve done wrong…
Deksta: We know that, but we wish for the perfect Christmas!
Santa: I know but…

(Music stops)

Voice: You should be careful to who you’re speaking to!
Santa: Eh? Who’s that?

(Music restarts – Safri Duo – “Played A-Live”)

A blimp made a quick touchdown onto the snow below... it belonged to Crash and his crew!

Monnika: All right!
Crash: (jumps out of the blimp) You should have realised that those people were on your naughty list!
Santa: But… I didn’t know…

The others came out.

Cortex: You should do. They were all successful criminals at the dawn of the 90s.
Coco: Next time take a closer look!
Santa: Sorry…
Midget: It’s all right, as long as they leave here empty handed!
Monnika: (unties herself) It’s time to chill!
Crash: Great! We need to give them everything we’ve got!
Monnika: And I have just that!
She shoots another ice beam right at the airship, freezing it solid.
Tiko: (gasps) MY SHIP!
Hallie: You ain’t getting away with that, pipsqueaks!

She cracks her whip, causing a crack in the ice, defrosting the machine. Having done that, everyone hopped in and took off.

(Music stops)

Polar: Oh no…
Crash: They’re escaping!

Boron howled with envy.
***************************
Episode 7 – The Final Frontier

Scene: Somewhere on the coast of the Arctic

Tiko’s airship was zooming towards the horizon as quick as it could…

Crash: Well… I guess the punk stole Christmas after all…

Boron howled with sadness.

(Music starts – Santos – “Camels”)

Midget: (puts his fists together) Maybe not yet – you haven’t seen what I can do!
Coco: What do you mean?
Midget: I mean that I’ve got something my dad didn’t have!

He shoots an energy beam towards the airship…

AT THE AIRSHIP

Tiko: We ain’t moving! Put more fuel in the blast furnace!
Lio: I tried, but we still aren’t moving!
Deksta: The whole ship is at ultimate efficiency!
Tiko: I don’t understand…

BACK ON SHORE

Midget was towing back his energy beam and steps backwards towards a 10ft candy stick. He ties it around there with no problem at all.

Midget: Come help me out here, guys…

The others came over to Midget, while Monnika was helping to free Santa from the whip.

Midget: PULL!

The gang pulled the beam as far as they can like a towing rope. Eventually, the airship was pulled back to shore.

Santa: EMPTY IT OUT!!!!

The gang used the rope to tip the airship upside-down, removing all the presents.

Crash: Now let’s take care of them for good!
Midget: Roger! (unleashes another energy beam)
The beam caused a big blast, sending the gang flying high.

(Music stops)

Tiko: You’re gonna pay for this, Hallie!
Hallie: It wasn’t MY fault!
Deksta: Yeah right, you turnip!
Lio: We’ll never have a happy Christmas for sure…

The blast sent them over the horizon.

Midget: AAAAAAAAAND STAY THERE, YOU SON OF A GRINCH!

The rest of the crew laughed out loud.

AT SUNSET

[Music changes – Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues – “Fairytale of New York” (Intro instrumental)]

The gang came face to face with Santa…

Santa: I would like to thank you for saving my life.
Crash: Ah! Don’t mention it!
Santa: The biggest thanks came to Monnika and Midget, who were both great mercenaries to this epic crime. Speaking of Monnika… (turns to her) I just got a letter in the post concerning you about your courage. Because of this you are getting a promotion to the freedom fighter league!
Monnika: YES! Er… (turns to Santa) I’ll… miss you… (hugs him with tears in her eyes)
Crash: Aaaaaah…
Santa: Oh well, best be hopping off with my presents…

He jumps in his sleigh, tows the reins and flies off towards his duty.

Gang: BYE! TAKE CARE!
Midget: I wonder what kind of presents I’ll get…
Crash: I FORGOT!
Cortex: Forgot what?
Crash: I forgot to tell Santa what I wanted for Christmas!
Monnika: Santa knows what you want…

She gave some presents out towards the gang.

Monnika: Merry Christmas!
Crash: Wow – thanks!
Pura: I wonder what’s inside…
Cortex: You don’t open it until Christmas Day…
Pura: I know that, I’m just a bit curious…
Boron: (hugging his present with a smile) WHOOOOO!

And so this left a jolly holiday that should be in Santa’s heart for years to come…

(Credits run alongside Mariah Carey – “All I Want For Christmas Is You”. When the song finishes, the scene quickly changes back to the cottage in the Black Forests in Germany.)

Tiko: This is our only chance…
Deksta: Yeah! Next time Santa approaches us he’ll be sorry…
Hallie: This time there’s no excuse!

Sooner enough, a young Arctic fox peeked through the window and opened it.

Lio: That little pixie… (gets out his ooze)

But before Lio could throw his weapon, the fox gave out a bright flash, which lasted for a few seconds. When the flash faded out, the gang were on the floor in the land of nod.

Tiko: (talks in his sleep) Too bad… better luck next time…

OUTSIDE

[Music changes – Sugarbabes – “New Year” (Finish)]

Santa was seen towing his sleigh over the cottage in the evening sky towards the children of the world…

Santa: HO HO HOOOOOO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

THE END

Credits (in order of appearance)

Claire Danes as Hallie Cortex and Monnika Muski
Vicki Winters as Coco Bandicoot and young Hallie Cortex
Leslie Phillips as the old fox
Neil Morrissey as Lio Cortex and Santa Claus
Dana Gould as Tiko Cortex and the young arctic fox
Toni Braxton as Deksta Cortex
Scott Chisholm as Pura and the young fox cub
Clancy Brown as Dr. Neo Cortex and Polar
Jake Lloyd as Private Boron and Midget Gator

Directed by: Bev Wooff (T-Rex) ***************************
OUT-TAKES OF THE STORY

Little Hallie: Come on Santa – it’s been 1am and I am waiting for my presents! You best bring me them or else…

She put her fist back harshly, but she missed the Barbie doll completely.

Little Hallie: (screams with pain) NURSE!
**************************
Monnika: I AM a bit of a comic at times, but I’m more Kurt Angle than Snappy Gator…
Cortex: You know him?
Monnika: Nah – I can…
Director: CUT!
Cortex: Now what?
Director: Something’s wrong with Polar…
Polar: (crying) Don’t mention Kurt Angle… He took the WWF title off The Rock at No Mercy!

The rest of the cast and crew sighed.
********************************
Polar: I’ll move my pawn over here… (moves the pawn to square C7)
Pura: (eliminates Polar’s king) Checkmate!
Polar: Dang… (smacks his fist on the chess board, but breaks most of his playing pieces) Oh damn… (runs off the stage angrily) This is coming out of my pay…
Pura: No, it’s not!
***********************************
Coco: What do you think is so funny?
Deksta: It’s that we’re taking that fox down…

Both the blimp and the airship start to lose height…

Monnika: (looks down) Uh-oh…
Midget: TIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRRRRRR…

Both machines collided towards the ground…
***************************************
Deksta: (turns to Hallie) You call THEM Santa’s?
Hallie: (stutters) Er…
Deksta: (turns back to the window, bashing her head into it) OW! (rubs her nose, in which is going bright red) It stings, man!
*************************************
A blimp made a quick touchdown onto the snow below… it belonged to Crash and his crew!

Monnika: All right!
Crash: (jumps out of the blimp, but he slips on the ice) OW!
Santa: Is there… something wrong?
Crash: (painfully) Well yeah, something’s wrong – I think I broke both legs there! We need a substitute…
************************************
Midget was towing back his energy beam and steps backwards towards what WAS a 10ft candy stick…

Midget: OK, who ate it?
Homer Simpson was seen eating the last bits of it…
Homer: Mmmmm… candy…
Midget: GET OFF THE SET! (kicks him off)
Homer: D’OH!
*******************************************************
* If you’re wondering who Claire Danes is, she was Juliet in “William Shakespeare’s Romeo And Juliet” (Directed by Baz Lurhman and has Leonardo Di Caprio as Romeo).

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