COPY RATS 3: THE RETURN
Part 3: The Final Final Frontier
Bero: Uh, Trepy, I don't think we're in Arkansas anymore.
Trepy: We never were.
Bero: Oh, then in that case--I think we're lost.
Trepy: We were never found.
Bero: Ooooooh, then in that case--I think we're somewhere else.
Trepy: So do I.
**SMACK**
Bero: Ow, what was that for?!
Enjin: You eedeots left us behind!
**SMACK**
Enjin: Ow, what was that for?!
Certox: They got another pet without my consent!
**SMACK, SMACK**
Certox: Owwww, what in the world?!
Teeny: Raow!
Pinto: Meop!
Certox: This is why I don't condone pets!!
Teeny: Meoow!
**THUNK**
Bero: Would you look at that! Teeny scared Certox out cold.
Certox: Whhhaaa..? Seee, dis iz why I support spay en neuterin'...owwwww!
**Suddenly the door in front of them flies open, like something out of Star Trek.**
Man: Who's there??
Guybrush: Uh-oh.
**The light turns on. The idiots are now facing a soldier in a red space uniform.**
Bero: Hey wait a sec--
Man: How did you get on this ship?
Bero: You're Captain Panaka! From Star Wars Episode 1!
Captain Panaka: Yes... so? What are you doing on the Queen's ship?
Teeny: *sigh* Allow me to explain.
Panaka: That is what I request!
Teeny: Here, let's get away from these people. I might damage their few brain cells with words too big to fit in their heads.
**Teeny walks out of the room with Captain Panaka. Minutes later they can be heard laughing together, showing that once again Teeny has escaped trouble with his magnificent intelligence. Wait a sec, why is he even in this story?**
Pinto: Ooh... red button!
Certox: Nuuuuuuuuh!!
*WOOMF*
**Teeny and Panaka rush to the room occupied, which it titled "Escape Pod Bay". As they open the door, they see Pinto jumping up and down clapping his fins. They look forward and see an empty spot where an escape pod once stood.**
Panaka: What in the world?!
Teeny: That's a penguin, that's a waste disposal truck full of fireworks tied to the interior of a rocket, and those were a bunch of idiots who somehow managed to find their way in an escape pod.
Pinto: Yaay! Yaay!
Teeny: Come on, Pinto.
**They turn the light off and walk out of the room.**
Jar Jar Binks: Ooh! Mesa like funny penguin thingy!
**Out in the oblivion we call space.**
Guybrush: Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh!
Trepy: Relax! We're only in space!
Guybrush: Exactly! Ahhhhhh!
Enjin: This is all your fault, Trepy! But wait a sec--are we getting closer to that planet?
Guybrush: Planet? Ahhhhhh!
Certox: This isn't good!
Bero: What?!
Certox: I sat on our sacred Uku mask! And we're getting closer to that planet!!
**The escape pod flies past and ever closer to the planet. It looks similar to a certain desert planet most everyone is familiar with. Within seconds, a sickening thud is heard miles away. The top of the escape pod flies off, and five idle idiots crawl out.**
Bero: Owwwwww! My leg is broken!
Certox: That was a stick.
Bero: Oh... owwwww, it still hurts!
**A land speeder comes flying up. It has a driver in it.**
Ratman: This is my property!
**The land speeder flies past the escape pod and right into the side of a big rock. The driver flies out and lands back near the escape pod.**
Guybrush: Wheeew, we're back on land.
Enjin: We're on a different planet.
Guybrush: Ahhhhh! Mommy! This is like a bad sci-fi movie! All I've ever known is swash-buckling and pillaging on solid ground or ocean! This is too freaky!
Enjin: Well if you've heard of sci-fi movies you obviously are familiar with settings like this.
Guybrush: I see... mommy!
**The ratman stands up with dirt all over him.**
Trepy: Sorry if we're invading your property.
Ratman: Oh don't worry. I was just hoping you had some food I could stick you up for. But you all are... poor looking.
Certox: Hey!
Ratman: I didn't mean "poor" poor! So who are you guys?
Trepy: ...
Bero: ...
Certox: ...
Enjin: ...
Guybrush: Ahhhhh! Stop singling me out! Im gonna be the first to die!
Ratman: Ohhhhh k. Well I'll introduce myself. I'm Poke Dot, rat spaceman!
Bero: That's not an original name.
Poke Dot: And yours is!
Bero: Thanks.
Poke Dot: Doh!
**Poke Dot stands with a stupidly perplexed look on his face.**
Poke Dot: You guys are cool!
Enjin: Heehee, we get that a lot.
Poke Dot: Mind if I hang with you?
Bero: Sure! We could always use more friends!
Poke Dot: So where are you guys from? What do you do?
Certox: We're from a planet in space named Bandonia. We're a team of superheroes there...
**As Certox, Bero, Trepy, Enjin, and Poke Dot walk off, Guybrush has already wandered off and is lost.**
Guybrush: What happened?!
**Suddenly a man in a big black cloak flies out of nowhere and lands on the ground.**
Guybrush: Hello there fellow pirate! I'm mighty Guybrush Threepwood, pirate extraordinaire!
Darth Maul: Emmm...
**As Darth Maul lunges forward, we go back to the other idiots. They hear a scream from far away.**
Trepy: Oh my! It's a damsel in distress!
Bero: Actually I think that's just Guybrush.
**They all run off. They run for about a mile when they reach a rock door that shuts right in front of them.**
Enjin: Great! How do we get past this?
Certox: I... dunno.
Trepy: Maybe a secret word.
Bero: Allakazoo?
*Crickets chirping*
Poke: I've seen this before! The entrance is so weird!
Enjin: What do we do?
Poke: I think you push it!
Bero: Noooooo way! That's weird!
**They all lean forward and push the door.**
Bero: Guess not.
Poke: Darn door!
**Poke kicks the door at the same time and it flies open.**
Enjin: Hehe, looks like even the owner had trouble. Now let's go see what awaits us on the other side...!
**They all rush into a huge room, that has several corridors leading off.**
Bero: Three doors... hmmmm. Trepy and I will go this one!
Certox: Sorry newbie, you're on your own!
Poke: Awww...
**Bero and Trepy run down the middle corridor, Certox and Enjin run down the left one, and Poke slowly walks down the right one. We first watch Poke.**
Poke: Stupid stupid people! Send me all alone. Ooh, what's that thingy?
**Poke rushes forward to a bright shining orb floating above the ground.**
Poke: Jesus?!
Voice: Noooo.
Poke: Ahhh!
**Poke jumps back as a man walks out of the shadows.**
Man: Neat aint it? Found it on some weird planet called Earth. Some crazy bandicoot started spinning, jumping, and shooting fruit at me.
Poke: Wow, that is weird.
Man: Bet you would like it. I hear it will be needed one day. Some prophet said when 4 combine the orb will shine.
Poke: I don't really know if I need it.
Man: You do!
Poke: Ok, can I have it?
Man: Of course not!
**They stare at each other with puzzled looks for several seconds.**
Man: Oh come on! Aren't you gonna say "I'll fight you for it," or something?
Poke: I'll fight you for it.
Man: Doh! Well, so be it! I challenge you to a match of Insult orb toss!
Poke: Um?
Man: I dunno what it is either, I just had an urge to say it. Well don't just stand there!
**The mystery man and Poke run to opposite sides of the cave. The man throws Poke the orb, and Poke throws it back. They do the same step for several seconds to warp up.**
Man: You're so ugly!
Poke: I guess we have the same mom then! Last time I saw someone as ugly as you was when I was an infant!
Man: So you never saw your mom after birth, sorry... sorry that you're so ugly!
Poke: Don't be sorry.
Man: I bet your IQ is lower than mine!
Poke: Since when do IQ's go sub-zero? Ooh, is it that time of the month already?
Man: Time for me to kick your arse!
Poke: Ooh, someone's gotten her pannies in a jumble!
Man: I, er, doh! I could beat you with one hand tied behind my back!
Poke: Couldn't you just tie it in front of your face? If I have to look at you one more second I'll puke.
Man: Are you sure that wasn't the dog food you ate earlier?
Poke: Yep.
Man: I... grrrr!
Poke: Now you're acting like a good cat. Good (BLEEP)!
Man: I’m not a female!
Poke: That's not what your mom said last night.
Man: Shut up! Who are you talking to?!
Poke: I dunno, Im still trying to figure it out, but Im assuming you're Barbara Streisand!
Man: Nooooooo!!
**The man explodes into a cloud of smoke. The orb falls right into Poke's hands.**
Poke: Woohoo!
**In the left cave...**
Certox: It's too dark, I can only see that monster cave painting up ahead!
Enjin: What monster cave painting?
Certox: Oh sorry, that was you.
Enjin: Don't scare me like that!
Certox: Wait a second... is that a dog up there?
Dog: No! Woof! Go away!
**Enjin and Certox's faces light up with joy.**
Dog: Uh-oh...Im n1ot a puppy!
**Enjin and Certox rush upon the dog, pick him up, and start pinching his cheeks.**
Dog: Get off me! I'm a vicious dog alien! Grrrrr... go away! My name is Ry Peroo... dog spaceman! Noooooooooo!!!
**Enjin and Certox run out of the cave with their new pet and meet up with Poke, who is bouncing the orb against a wall.**
Poke: Oh! Look at the cute little dog! I have just the present...
Ry: I'm gonna run the second you put me down!
**Poke then slaps a shiny blue collar on Ry.**
Poke: A no-run-away collar! If he goes within 0 yards away of the owner he's zapped... and killed, tragically. But that's more reason not to run away!
Ry: Doh!
Enjin: Hmmmm, I hope Bero and Trepy haven't gotten lost. Shall we all go in that middle path and see where they are?
Certox: Sure thing. And now we have a nice watchdog to take any injuries for us!
Ry: I--no! I'm a... poodle! Yeah...*YOINK*
**Near the end of the middle corridor, there comes a long hallway with laser beams every 5 feet. Every 20 seconds they go off in a row, exactly like a domino effect. And after 10 seconds, they turn back on, zapping anyone caught in them. After the hallways of lasers, there is a huge futuristic room with a big hole in the middle that goes on forever. Otherwise, think of Star Wars: Episode 1.**
Bero: Whoa! Trepy hurry up!
**Trepy runs past the lasers, everyone hitting his backside.**
Trepy: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! *THUNK* Owwwwwwwww!
**Bero picks Trepy up, and they look forward. There is the large hole in the ground, with a bridge going across above it. They see a bleak figure in the middle, holding Guybrush hostage.**
Guybrush: Guys. I'm starting to think this guy doesn't laugh! I did my Ghenghis Khan impersonation and he didn't laugh!
Darth Maul: Hmmp!
Guybrush: Owwwwowww!
Bero: Hey your hands off him punk!
Trepy: Hurt him one more time and your face will be all read!
Bero: Yeah, and I'll proudly leave here without my foot. As long as I know it's crammed up your backside!
Darth Maul: Hmmm?
Bero: That's it!
**Bero and Trepy jump forward onto the bridge. At the same time the rest of the idiots enter the room, half of them burned and smoking from the laser beams.**
Certox: Trepy, Bero... how'd you do that!
Bero: The force is with us, Certox!
Trepy: Actually, we paid Ryan to let us do that!
Bero: Shhh! Stupid!
Trepy: Oh oh I mean, Ryan TAUGHT us how. Yeah, hehehe!
Darth Maul: Death is upon you like an unholy plague!
Guybrush: He talks! Now to make him laugh!
**Darth Maul lets go of Guybrush and kicks him forward. He flies into the hole, and barely grabs onto the side. He then jumps forward to Bero and Trepy.**
Bero: Come on PMS-face!
Darth Maul: No light sabres, easier for me.
Trepy: Uh-oh.
I don't think so, Darth Maul!
**Ryan draws in light sabres in Trepy and Bero's hands.**
Trepy: Yeeha!
Darth Maul: Die!
**Darth Maul starts attacking Trepy and Bero. As he jumps forward he pushes his lightsaber parallel to both their bodies. Each of them blocks with his own sabre. Bero, who is on Maul's right, slices in a diagonal direction, getting blocked. Trepy then spins into Maul, who ducks and kicks Bero in the gut. Bero slices forward and meets Maul's saber. Trepy kicks Maul's side, then he rolls left and meets Bero's saber.**
Idiots: Let's go, T&B, let's go! Let's go T&B let's go!
Poke: Wait a second - aren't we supposed to help that dude who fell...?
**Bero does a back flip as Maul slices forward. Trepy then aims for Maul's left as his hands are forward, but Maul reacts and ducks. He then stabs Trepy in the stomach.**
Trepy: Ugh!
**Maul kicks Trepy off the platform and he flies down to the side, right next to the idiots.**
Certox: We should help him!
Guybrush: Guys?!?
**Bero looks down at Trepy and realizes his friend has been lost forever. He then looks forward with deep sadness, but more courage and determination than ever.**
Bero: Ahhhhhhh!
**Bero and Maul move back and forth as they block each other's light sabres. Bero begins swinging repeatedly, in which Maul can barely react without tripping backward. He rolls up and meets the sole of Bero's shoe. It stuns him for a few seconds. As he shakes his face Bero punches him twice, with a left and a right. He throws his lightsaber back and forth to do so. Then he throws it up, grabs it with both hands, and slashes Maul's mid-section. Maul stares down at his stomach, then up at Bero. He then falls to the side and down the hole. Both his lower half and top half split. Bero jumps down beside Trepy.**
Bero: Trepy!
Trepy: I... you all... are my best friends...
Poke: Don't go!
Ry: Dont know him, but I still feel sad.
Enjin: Trepy... no!
Certox: I can't believe it!
**As they are all there, Trepy's soul starts to rise out of his body (in a Crash-esque style).**
Enjin: Oh no ya' don't!
**Enjin grabs up and pulls the ghost down by it's robe. He jams it back in Trepy's body and then slaps him.**
Enjin: Didn't think so!
Trepy: I'm... I'm alive!!
**Trepy jumps up and dances around like a celebrating Sega Genesis street fighter.**
Poke: Where's the blood?
Trepy: Oh... hehehe. Guess it was just a flesh wound.
Actually, those light sabres were just crayolas. I ran out of money, and George Lucas said he'd sue me.
Guybrush: George Lucas WILL sue you if you let me die!
Certox: Oh oh yeah!
**Certox rushes to the edge of the hole and pulls out Guybrush.**
Guybrush: WOoooo, last time I was that sick I was face to face with LeChuck. Eww, my imagination is beginning to smell.
Trepy: Let's get out of here!
Ry: Please!
Trepy: What? What a cute little doggy! What'd he say?
Ry: Nothing... woof. Woof. *cry*
**All of the idiots run out of the cave and into the open desert. The two suns are beginning to set.**
Bero: Ooh, look at the sun...
Trepy: Ya' know, some things I wish we'd never take for granted...
Enjin: Hopefully people can learn...
Certox: That being here today is the biggest blessing we'll ever have...
Guybrush: And being here tomorrow is icing on the cake...
Poke: Mmmm, er, that's touching guys.
Ry: I must say...
Moe & Joe: Sssssss!
Trepy: Heehee, that tickles!
Poke: Let's go guys.
*WAAAARP*
Certox: Hello?
Enjin: Luuuuuucy, I home!
**The lights turn on, and Teeny, Pinto, and Captain Panaka walk forward.**
Panaka: Welcome back guys.
Teeny: If you care, we now have a ship to take instead of a flying garbage truck.
Pinto: Meep!
Jar Jar: Mesa loooooove penguin!
Certox: Aw, it feels great to be back! We had the greatest adventure yet!
Teeny: And I, for a 3rd time, saved the world. Not to mention I've become general of the Rebellion.
Trepy: Neato! Well I died.
Enjin: And I saved his life!
Ry: I was found...
**Everyone stands silent.**
Ry: Darn you people...
Teeny: Who's he?
Bero: This is our friend Poke Dot! He's a funny space traveller!
Poke: Yep! These guys are great. Would you guys mind if I travel with you? I don't think I'm needed in this universe.
Teeny: Meoow.
Poke: Great, thanks! Hmmm, won't need this.
**Poke throws the orb he won into the back of the garbage truck, right into the sand and water that has collected in the past few days.**
Panaka: Well guys, it's been great having you.
Certox: Been great bein' here!
Jar Jar: Awwwww, but I dun wanna leave thesa penguin man!
Panaka: Would you guys mind taking Jar Jar. We don't need him much, either.
Teeny: I think there's room.
Jar Jar: Yaaaaaay!
Teeny: Now let's board the space--
**Teeny looks up and sees everyone aboard the garbage truck, and the rest sitting on the rocket interior attached to the back.**
Panaka: I told you it was a good idea to go ahead and tune up the truck.
Teeny: I figured they'd get on it before I spoke.
Panaka: Good call. Goodbye for now General Teeny.
Teeny: Goodbye Captain Panaka, tell the Queen farewell.
**Teeny hops into the front of the truck alongside Bero, Enjin, Moe & Joe, Ry and Pinto. Jar Jar hops into the back of the truck.**
Jar Jar: Looka! Im da' king o' da' world!
**Trepy, Certox, Guybrush, and Poke sit on the rocket interior/bench.**
Trepy: Time for the annual fuse lighting! Hmmmm, only 2 left! Oh well!
**Trepy lights the fuse. Panaka opens the cargo bay and leaves into the ship. As the cargo bay door opens, the fuse reaches a remaining fraction of the fireworks. The garbage truck flies forward, again trailing the bench behind it. It flies out into space and into a small warp portal. Seconds later, the familiar wavy static lines are all that is left.**
Ry: Um, wasn't there a loud-mouthed fish thingy in the back of the truck?
Certox: Now that you mention it... I forget. Oh well, couldn't have been too important!
**In another world and another time, one of all light and nothing else, we see a lone figure.**
Jar Jar: Hello? Hello? Ooh... mesa is feelin' mighty lonely...
**The camera zooms out into the reckless oblivion known as the time-space continuum. No one can tell where the super-hero zero idiots will go next.**
Oh my! As the Copy Rats pick up more and more members, the adventure gets greater!
~O.o~
Part 4: The Sacred Lost Jungle
**As the sky glows an eerie black, a sudden burst of wavy red and purple lines appear in a small spot high up in the sky. Suddenly a garbage truck, full of fireworks and trailing behind it the interior of a rocket, flies from out of the wavy lines. It goes careening down to the ground, landing in a shallow pool of water surrounded by trees, mud pools, small hot steams, and various forms of life. For seconds the night is still as the "spaceship" sits still in this prehistoric looking world, or jungle.**
Poke: Woooooooooo! This is what I'm talking about!!!
Guybrush: Feeling... nauseous... *BLEH*
Trepy: Aw man! All over my clean costume!
Guybrush: I wish I were home! Huh--beach!
**Through the trees, Guybrush spies a beach with sparkling clear-blue water.**
Guybrush: Yeaaah!
**Guybrush leaps forward into the water.**
Guybrush: Never did I think I would miss my ship so much! And the smell of a drunken sailor, the taste of grog, my wife's beautiful, big... hat! I'm not going ANYWHERE.
**By now, everyone has gotten out of the ship.**
Bero: But what if we find treasure! After all, this IS a hidden island!
Teeny: Actually it looks to be a rainforest. And if I'm correct, that's a Mayan temple... be back soon.
Guybrush: Did I hear treasure??! Adios compadres, Guybrush is finding some treasure!
**Guybrush takes off into the jungle. Several seconds later, Teeny again runs off into the night, disappearing with the gracefulness expected of a cat.**
Ry: So what do we do? I'm sorta new to this. Woof. Jeez, that's becoming a habit.
Certox: Nothing.
Ry: I see... nothing.
Pinto: Meeoop?
Poke: Strange, this penguin reminds me of this little robot I used to know. R2-D2 or something. Pin2-D2!
**Ry, Poke, Pinto, Certox, Bero, Trepy, and Enjin stand around on the beach.**
Certox: Ow! Stupid mask is pinching me.
**Certox pulls the small spray-painted hockey mask, better know as Uku Uku, out of his pocket.**
Certox: Any words of wisdom?
Bero: Hey, look at this weird fish!
**Everyone except Certox turns their attention to the fish out in the water. Their backs face him, and he jumps up and down for their attention.**
Certox: I don't need you all! So Uka, any words of wisdom?
*WOOMF*
Certox: Woomf?
*WOOMF*
Certox: Woomf.
**Suddenly two poison arrows strike Certox in the neck.**
Certox: OhhHhhhHh... woomf... whoo... *THUNK*
**Two mysterious figures run out from the dark and grab the Uku mask, which fell into the water. They run off back into the jungle.**
Enjin: Um, I don't recall Certox having narcolepsy.
Bero: That's funny.
**They run over to Certox and help him up.**
Certox: I--Uku Uku mask! Where'd he go?! He's been stolen!
Poke: Uku... Uku mask?
Trepy: Ancient voodoo mask used for spiritual ritual.
Poke: Um, interpreter?
Ry: I think he means that spray-painted hockey mask Certox was playing with earlier.
Certox: It's gone! I was standing here, passed out, and it's gone!
Distant Voice: Hoohoohawhawhaw!!
**All of their ear's perk up as they hear a low voice laughing in the distance.**
Ry: Follow me!
**They all take off running after Ry. His blue coat of fur makes it easy for them to keep track of him.**
Distant Voice: Hhalv an monnu my! Kempsieres voo lhat tuh!
**Suddenly, Bero and Poke fly up into the air, each with a foot hanging by a rope.**
Certox: No!
Enjin: We can't stop!
**As they are running, they appear in the middle of a dark looking village. There is a fire in the middle, totem poles in the distance, and sticks with fires on the top in a huge circle, showing the boundaries of the camp.**
Enjin: Weird...
Certox: Tell me about it.
Ry: I smell something funny.
Trepy: Oh sorry!
**Trepy puts his shoes back on after emptying mud out of them.**
Certox: I'll go back and get Bero and Poke.
**Certox turns around and runs in the opposite direction.**
Ry: Something isn't right here.
Enjin: Tell me about it! That totem pole looks exactly like Certox!
Trepy: That's a frog.
Enjin: My point.
**The 3, along with Pinto, walk to the fire in the middle.**
Trepy: Shhhh...
**In an instant, all the voodoo masks encircling the fire jump up and reveal a tribal warrior underneath. A large fat warrior jumps right next to the fire.**
Fat Warrior: Hawhawhaw!
Enjin: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
**The fat warrior walks up to them, and looks them right in the eyes.**
Fat Warrior: I assume you've come for this...
**He then pulls out the Uka Uka mask, which has been encased in some sort of glass coating, giving it a glowingly shiny look. It has also been repainted and shrunk a bit.**
Trepy: Yeah! How'd you guess?!
Fat Warrior: I--you--idiot! How have the spirits of you gotten this far with a lack of all inner knowledge? Unveil them!
**Lights pop up on the outside of the circle of warriors, and hanging from large poles are Guybrush, whose pockets are stuffed with jewelry of some sorts, Bero, Poke, and Certox.**
Fat Warrior: You're friends have not fared as well as you.
Enjin: Give us back our friends, and mask!
Fat Warrior: As if it will come that easy? You will gamble your lives and fight us! Pepe!
**An obese young looking warrior waddles out of a tent.**
Fat Warrior: Meet Pepe Pepe, my son, greatest warrior in all of the land! I--doh! Get away from there!
**The fat warrior sees Trepy, who has already untied all of his friends.**
Fat Warrior: That's it! JUUUUUUNGLE KOMBAAAAAAT!
**Warriors start playing a cheesy fighting song with bongos, drums, and other wooden instruments. Pepe rushes Enjin, Ry, and Pinto, while the fat warrior runs up to Certox, Trepy, Bero, Guybrush, and Poke.**
Enjin: Uh-oh!
**Enjin jumps up into the air and lands on Pepe's head. He then starts doing a bicycle kick into Pepe's chest.**
Ry: Uh... wow!
Pinto: Injin! Injin!
**Fat Pepe falls to the ground after receiving an uppercut.**
Pepe: Pepe sorry! Pepe no mean harm! Pepe made to fight!
Enjin: I don't think so!
**Enjin reaches for Pepe, but he jumps and rolls away. He runs over two warriors and into the jungle.**
Enjin: Wimp. Who's next?! Just bring it!
**The warriors begin circling in around Enjin, Ry, and Pinto. Pinto flies out of the circle and lands behind one warrior and bites him in the "soft spot".**
Pinto: Pin2-D2!
**Ry begins baring his teeth.**
Warrior 5: All bark no bite!
*CHOMP*
Warrior 5: All bite no bark!
Ry: WOOF!
Warrior 5: Ahhhhh!
**The warrior turns around and runs into a totem pole. Enjin then begins to fight the rest. He pulls off his belt and begins hitting them in the head. He jumps off one's chest and kicks two more. He punches one, throws him on another, and then belts another in the eye. Only one warrior stands.**
Warrior 10: *GULP*
**The warrior screams and runs off into the distance. Meanwhile, the fat warrior jumps onto the other gang.**
Certox: Yikes!
**Certox runs over to Enjin, Ry, and Pinto.**
Certox: Look!
**Certox sees that fat warrior has dropped the Uku Uku mask, and picks it up.**
Fat Warrior: That's it! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
**Instinctively, Trepy, Bero, Poke, and Guybrush all grab the poles with fire and throw them into the fat warriors mouth.**
Fat Warrior: *GULP* Ugh...
**The fat warrior falls onto the ground. His stomach gets bigger with every breath.**
Guybrush: I'm getting an exploding premonition that we should run.
**They all run back through the jungle. Trepy grabs the last two poles with fire so that they can see their way back. They run over mud pits, hot steams, and various other obstacles on their way back. When they reach the truck, they see Teeny sleeping in front.**
Teeny: *SNOOOORE* Huh, huh?! Oh, just you inferiors. Have fun fighting fat warrior? I once again saved the world. Got this plant crown too.
Enjin: Move!!!
**Trepy jumps into the back of the garbage truck. Certox, Enjin, Bero, and Pinto jump into the rocket interior. Guybrush, Poke, Ry and Teeny cram in the front.**
Bero: Enjin, I had no idea you could fight!
Enjin: Silent but deadly is the way. Remember all those hours you guys spent at summer school? Well me being home alone I thought watching every Jet Li, Jackie Chan, and Bruce Lee movie we had would be a good idea!
Certox: Quiet, what's that noise??
**Suddenly the tree falls in front of the garbage truck.**
Trepy: Pepe!
**The fat young warrior stands up.**
Pepe: I am sorry for causing you trouble my friends. I will do anything to pay you back for the pain my father has caused.
Certox: Aw, he so cute! Just get in the truck!
Pepe: Thank you! Pepe is much pleased! Where are we going?! Oh who cares, I just want to get away from here where I am forced to fight in Jungle Kombat. I will serve you all well!
Poke: Trepy, light the fuse! This place is gonna blow!
**Trepy throws one of the sticks with fire onto the fuse, which is lying several feet away on the ground.**
Trepy: Last fuse! We better hurry and get outta here!
Bero: It's too short! We won't get that big a blast, so we won't get off the ground!
Pepe: No worry, just aim that way. We can ramp the pyramid!
Trepy: Great idea!
**Teeny turns the steering wheel in the truck. Trepy blows out the final fire pole, and throws it into the sand and ice, which is now more like a small puddle of water. It starts a small smoke, but only results in a tiny pile of ash. In a matter of seconds the last fuse reaches some rockets and sets the truck off flying forward. In the distance, a small figure on top of the pyramid with a chisel in hand sees something coming.**
Figure: Jeebus? WAH!
**The figure flies up into the air and lands in the back of the truck.**
Figure: What in Sam Hill?!
**The figure, who resembles a marsupial, stands up angrily. He then flies back down.**
Trepy: Who are you?!
Figure: Koola Kong, and who are you?!
Trepy: I dunno.
Koola Kong: Hmmmmm, can I help you find out?
Trepy: Later.
Koola: Sweet.
Trepy: Hmmmm, you remind me of a character I know, except he's a littler bigger. Can't be you. And you too, Pepe, except the guy I know is A LOT fatter. Weird. Déjà vu.
Pepe: What?
Trepy: Déjà vu. Ooh, weird!
Koola: Are you guys in need of a pillager of some sorts!
Guybrush: Nope, that's my job.
Koola: Darn. How about a comedian?
Ry: There appears to be an overabundance as it is, sorry.
Koola: Well jee. How about a second-rate videogame character wannabe? Weird, I don’t know what inspired me to say that.
Trepy: Heck yeah! We're in need of those!
**As they look back, the jungle explodes. The explosion nearly reaches the truck. Once it reaches, the truck is gone like the wind. The "spaceship" disappears. The familiar wavy lines last for a few seconds, and then nothing. Once again, the world left behind is two people-less, this time being Pepe and Koola Kong, pillager-comedian entrepreneur.**
Another world will never be the same! As the idiots finish another chapter of history, they inch closer to the end of their journey.
~O.o~
Part 5: The Ancient Civilizations of Egypt
Certox: Wow, talk about beautiful!
Bero: Amazing!
Trepy: Like a movie!
Enjin: I think we're dreaming!
Teeny: Ancient Egypt, my favourite!
**All 5 stand in the sand while looking forward at a land full of people that only dreams have seen before. The rest look on from the "spaceship".**
Poke: Why I never...
Pepe: The lands my father spoke of!
Pinto: Woop!
Moe & Joe: Ssssss!
Guybrush: I guess dreams can come true... and not THOSE ones...
Ry: Woof...
Koola: Ooh, I wonder how much that's worth...
Uku: ....
**They all stand in awe of the ancient civilization only known by one name... Egypt...**
Salesman: Why hello there young men! Allow me to introduce myself. I am El Digo Nile.
Certox: Cute monkey!
El Digo Nile: Oh yes, this is my pet Rija Roo. If you cannot tell, I am a guide.
Bero: We couldn't.
El Digo: Would you like my services?
Enjin: Did I hear free anywhere in there?
El Digo: Um, I don't believe so.
Trepy: Can we hear free?
El Digo: I... I guess so.
Certox, Trepy, Bero, and Enjin: Woohoo!
El Digo: I... what?
Rija: Heeheehee!
**Suddenly, a bandicoot runs by the truck. Wait a sec--oh my! It's Crash Bandicoot himself! Or wait, no look at him! That's Fake Crash himself!**
Fake Crash: Hi, everybody!
Um, did I tell you to show up?
Fake Crash: Sure thing. This is the only job opportunity I've gotten in a year, so I'd better take advantage!
Certox: Hello there Fake Crash! What brings you here?
Fake Crash: I just showed up! That moron Crash Bandicoot is everywhere! I figured by going into the past I'd get away from him!
Bero: But wait a second, the REAL Fake Crash is busy filming "Fake Bandicoot: A Synthetic Tale"! You CANT be him!
Fake Crash: But, I, uh, I'm him!
Trepy: No you're not! The real Fake Crash doesn't sound like that!
Fake Crash: I, um, but--
Enjin: He's also a lot taller, and his hair is darker.
Fake Crash: I... ok, okay! Whatever. So I'm the Fake Fake Crash. Happy! My career is over before it's even begun! Hmmph!
Teeny: Well you can join us, the Copy Rats, superhero extraordinaires.
**Suddenly Certox's face lights up.**
Certox: By golly, I've just noticed something! Every one of us reminds me of a super-villian character! For instance, El Digo Nile is Dingodile, Ry Peroo is Ripper Roo, Pepe is Papu Papu, etc!
Poke: So?
Certox: I dunno. Well that and we're all from the suburbs.
Bero: We rockin' the suburbs!
El Digo: So what do joo all do for a livin'?
Teeny: I save the world. Pardon me - I have an appointment to save the world.
**Teeny takes off into the sands of time and space.**
Bero: Don't mind him, he thinks he's all big. He's really only Teeny.
El Digo: I see.
Pepe: So what do we do?
Enjin: Poke, would you like to explain?
Poke: We just wait here.
Koola: And...?
Poke: Adventure finds us!
FF Crash: Interesting. So we do nothing for now?
Enjin: Yep.
FF Crash: Yeees!
**A commotion comes from the back of the truck. Pinto jumps up and down, and the orb flies out right into Certox's hands.**
Certox: Ewww! Sandy, wet, ashy secret orb!
**The orb begins shining, burning Certox's hands. He throws it to Bero, who throws to Trepy, then to Enjin. Then as it lands in the middle of them, a bright shining light flashes. Certox, Bero, Trepy, and Enjin fall to the ground. As they stand up, they turn around...and no one is there.**
Bero: Huh?! Where'd they go??
Enjin: Oh my! Pinto, Poke, anyone??
**The orb then floats above the ground.**
Bero: Oh how lame! What a "Sphere" ripoff. Psssh, 2 thumbs down!
**Cutting Bero off, a voice emerges from the orb...**
Orb: When 4 combine, only 4 of remain. 4 of elements, 4 of a kind. Those on the outside, will only become, a part once again, with the full rising sun.
**The orb settles on the ground again. All 4 men walk forward. Certox picks it up and looks in side.**
Certox: I didn't catch a word of what that guy said.
Trepy: I feel 2 feet tall, 'cause those words flew right over my head.
Enjin: Wait look!
Bero: Well I'll be...
**Certox holds the orb in both his palms. The ash from the outside floats up and is then sucked in the orb, then the drips of water slide down the side and disappear into it, and finally the sand particles on the outside just press into the orb. All four look into the orb... and hints of fire, water, and earth can be seen.**
Certox: Simply... amazing. Wheeeew... now what?
**The orb lifts from Certox's hands and begins to spin. All four men stare up in awe. They are lost in it's beauty of all time and space. Everything ever made of light combined into one... Suddenly all their eyes close. Each lifts a foot off the ground. Light and particles begin to fly around them. Their clothes begin to change. Certox's run down lab space suit turns anew, and becomes a gentle blue color. Bero's stained small labcoat turns into a red space suit, newer than the finest ever. Trepy's watch necklace and stretched doctor outfit become one in a new space suit, green with a small watch symbol on front. Then, Enjin's old and worn white clothes turn into a space suit, yellow like rays of the sun. Each softly lands on the ground. Their eyes open as they look forward at the orb, that once again lands slowly on the ground.**
Orb: Time and place will come...
**The orb stops glowing, and the men we know as the Copy Rats, Certox, Bero, Trepy, and Enjin all simply stare down at it. For the first time ever, speaking doesn't come easy to any of them.**
Certox: Wow...
Bero: Whoa...
Trepy: Whow...
Enjin: Woa...
**Certox walks forward and picks up the orb.**
Certox: Shall I keep hold of it?
Bero: Sure thing. Just don't lose it like you do my keys. :)
Trepy: Like you'll ever drive, Bero. ;)
Enjin: I feel great!
Certox: Now what do we do?
Bero: The orb thingy said it will find us.
Trepy: Knowing we're always lost that might take a while.
Enjin: But if it's fate, then who knows.
**As Enjin finishes speaking, the ground begins to rumble. Then a loud explosion comes from far away. A pyramid is blown high to the sky, and then a whole line is blown in to the air. The pyramids go one by one as they get closer to the Copy Rats. Then as the last pyramid goes, the ground begins to break. A huge citadel, miles high, springs up. It is like the Roman coliseum, the Pantheon, and the Vatican in one - a monument so great that all places of time can be found in it. People begin to flee from the markets, running away and past the Copy Rats. Two of the last to run from falling boulders are two bandicoot peasants. One an Egyptian soldier, and the other an Egyptian priest. As they both look back, they run dead into the Copy Rats.**
Roman: Ooh!
Mars: Ah!
**Both fall to the ground. Enjin and Bero help them up.**
Roman: Why who are you?
Certox: We're the Copy Rats. And before you say anything else, know that we are here to help you!
Mars: We cannot mind that. But what do we do?
Certox: Follow us!
**Certox runs to the entrance of the epic-sized monument. The others are slow to follow, but knowing it is their fate, they follow. They enter, and what they see inside is a blend of all elements. Rivers flow through fire surrounded by grass and trees as the wind blows them softly. All six men line up, and as they look up, they see evil as an entity...**
Evil: So you are here, I see. Hopes to stop me are gone beyond. Hopes to obey me are much more inclined. Thou shall not fight, for thou has reached its judgement day!
**The large red spirit grips its fists, raises them above it's head, and with all it's evil power slams them against the ground. Fire, water, earth, and air shoot from the blast, and one being stands there alone. A 10-foot being, with agility, balance, knowledge, and attributes of a perfect evil stands there in front of the 6 men.**
Certox: Mother would be proud.
Bero: Her baby boys are all grown up!
Trepy: Now we're good...
Enjin: And he's evil...
Roman: So let's kick some arse...
Mars: And God bless!
**The 6 men run forward as the being jumps up into flames. Mars runs and slides onto one knee as he chants religious hymns known only to those of ancient times. Roman pulls out a sword of gold, and slices through the flame. Certox jumps into the air and finds that he is water. Where he goes the flames are lowered. Trepy goes and, as earth, lowers the flames. Bero jumps, and as fire, sends the fire backwards. And lastly, Enjin, as wind, blows the fire out of place. They send the fire fighting in all directions.**
Mars: And man will serve judgement to all thou false Gods!
**Mars jumps out, and pulls out his gold daggers and begins fighting the flame. The flame goes back, and then springs forward. Each man fights with all his heart and soul.**
Trepy: Certox, the orb!
Certox: Well duh! Any superhero would know that!
Enjin: Hurry up!
Bero: Fire fighting fire ain't that easy!
**Certox takes out the orb, and with all his might he throws it into the evil. All 6 men are knocked back with a huge blow. As the orb is in the air, a golden lion enters the monument of all life.**
Teeny: And with one final good, bad shall be no more than one last dream on the way to bliss!
**Teeny runs and leaps dozens of feet and meets the orb as it hits the flame. And as the sound and sight becomes unbearable, it is gone.**
....
**A land appears. A land of flowing pure rivers, of flying pure flame, of floating pure air, and of that what is Earth. We see 6 men, and a cat... the saviours of good, standing side by side in front of this world. The world that is equivalent of Heaven. As they stand there, a small white light appears in front of them...**
Light: The saviours of good, come in any way or form. One must not be perfect, to do a perfect good. Good is now forever... good is now with you forever... good is now everything and perfect... forever.
**The light fades.**
Certox: Well I guess this is it. While we do not know each other, we will one day meet in Heaven.
Bero: See you there friends.
Enjin: If we make it there, which we will of course!
Trepy: We better, or we're going to meet that evil guy again.
Roman: We have met in Heaven, and we have saved all the worlds...
Mars: What more can you want? See you in Heaven again, so see you on the other side...:)
**Each man fades away, gradually, like the rising sun. As they again appear to "19-2000", their words can be heard.**
Bero: Are we there yet?
Certox: Nope.
Bero: Are we there yet?
Certox: Yep!
Bero: Woohoo!
Trepy: Finally!
Enjin: Home sweet home!
Teeny: Yay, meoow! Yippee, we're here!
**All four men and cat appear in the middle of Bandonia.**
Teeny: Looks like I'm in for a surprise!
**They look forward, and in the middle of the street stands a large golden statue of a lion. They run forward and read the plate on the staute.**
Bero: "In Honor of our Leader of Good, Here Stands Forever... Our President Teeny..."
Certox: Wow!
Trepy: You're a president!
Enjin: How many worlds did you save?!
Teeny: Just enough I guess!
**And then the process is not over. Beside the statue appears more. Then buildings begin to grow.**
Bero: Look, Super Space Rats Eatery! Woohoo!
Enjin: Look, the new statues!
**As they look forward, there stands the statues of themselves, in gold and there to stay forever. Behind them appear statues of more people.**
Certox: "Here, our loving founders, are preserved for all eternity in all good that ever was... Certox, Bero, Trepy, and Enjin. In Gold our Kings lie, the saviours of life!" How amazing!
**Someone taps Certox's shoulder.**
Guybrush: Ahe-hem, you haven't forgotten us, have you?
Trepy: Look at the other statues!
**Statues of all the Copy Rats, from Guybrush Threepwood to El Digo Nile.**
Guybrush: I stand at ease, captain!
Poke: All that's missing is the mob of people.
**Then the ground shakes...**
Poke: Woops...
**And like the statues and buildings before it, the last missing element appears... people.**
Crowds: Our Kings, Our Kings, Our Kings, We Sing!
Certox: So here they are!
Bero: Here we are!
Trepy: Here we all are!
Enjin: Here the Copy Rats are!
Teeny: For the good old times, I, President Teeny, will simply say..."meoow"! :)
**Then a small jeep comes careeming up... inside it...**
Pinto: Riiiiiide!
Bero: Who taught him how to drive!!
**Pinto steps out, and shows them the car like a model.**
Teeny: But wait, I just got something. If everyone one of us is like a super-villian, who is Nitros Oxide...?
**Everyone then looks at the one person who isn't an imitation...**
Guybrush: Wh-what?!
**They all burst out laughing.**
Certox: Laughing... it's what we're here for!
Bero: Now let's ride!
Trepy: I get window!
Enjin: So do I!
Teeny: Doh!
**Certox jumps in the driver seat, Bero next to him, and Teeny in the back, surrounded by Enjin and Trepy.**
Certox: Dozens of new friends!
Bero: Plenty of new adventures to tell of!
Trepy: A whole new city to run!
Enjin: Don't forget spiffy new outfits!
Teeny: A brand new jeep. And finally, a cat as President... go figure!
All: Hahahehehaha!
**Bero presses "Play" on the CD player. As the first beat hits, Certox presses the gas. As they take off down the street and fly over the first of many hills... the Copy Rats go out of style with the melody of "Left Hand Suzuki Method," all in Gorillaz style. We bid you farewell our superheroes! Goodbye for now Certox, Bero, Trepy, Enjin, Teeny, and everyone else we've come to love!**
~O.o~
Classic Copy Moments...
Bero: Hey, you're starting to sound like Cortex!
Certox: I said--really?
**Bero rolls his eyes and snickers.**
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
Certox: Hmmmm, how about we go to the Crash Mart and get some Wumpa slurpies?
Bero: Sounds good to me...
Trepy: Fine...
Enjin: Dat is quite good...
**All of them crawl to the street and look around, wondering if there even is a Crash Mart, let alone such thing as a Wumpa slurpy.**
Certox: Who's stupid idea was this?
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
Enjin: Stooge.
Bero: Shut up! You're the one with a cardboard missile taped to your head!
Enjin: I wasn’t talking to you loser boy! I was talking to Mr. Clock tied around his neck over there!
Trepy: Shut up paperboy!
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
Certox: You're simple.
Bero: But a human cant be simple. A task can be.
Certox: They never learn.
Bero: Who is they? Who are you talking to Certox? Jeez, you're weird.
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
N. Brio: Uh... why are joo copying me?
Bero: Because I love you!
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
Certox & Cortex: Ooooooooow!!!
Certox: Hey look, there is an "N" on my forehead!! I’m just like you now!
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
Enjin: I'm sorry, Bero, but Im kicking you out of this house.
Bero: What?! You cannot do this!!
Certox: MONOPOLYYYYYY!!
**Bero stands up and throws a motel across the room.**
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
Certox: What did Teeny just say?
Trepy: I don’t know, do I look like I speak cat?
**Certox's expression forms the words "Do you really wanna know?"**
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
Enjin: This place looks familiar.
Civilian: Hi, welcome to Bandonia!
Certox: ...
Trepy: ...
Enjin: ...
Bero: Dot, dot, dot
Teeny: ?
C-R--C-R--C-R--C-R
And it's finally, finally over! This is a story written, produced, and directed by Ryan Seyersdahl, in the wonderful year of 2001!
Site map -
Copy Rats 3: The Return - part 1
Back to the Yard
Back to the Main Menu
Links to other sites
Crash Place - yCrAsH's spectacular site! :D
