PINKOFLUFFO'S REVENGE
Out in the darkest depths of space, a pink, fluffy life form is floating lifelessly amongst a trail of shattered planet rock. Not too far off, a familiar green spaceship looms nearby. Inside the ship, a once infamous multi-legged alien is still groaning over his recent defeat.
Oxide: "Oh, this has got to be the most intolerable moment of my sad little life! Ever since I failed in taking the Earth as my own, I never really have anything to do any more. I guess I’m too ashamed to do anything. Nothing but take a leisurely flight around the eight moons of Gasmoxia. Just how could a puny orange rat overthrow me? He has got to be my thickest challenger. And yet he beat me! What an insult! Now I have absolutely nothing to do in my little life but whine my over-conceited head off! What a—"
A beep on the radar finally cuts off Oxide.
Oxide: "Huh? What is it?"
The tiny dot on the radar hovers closer to the dot representing Oxide’s spaceship. He looks up and almost chokes on his tongue. The aforementioned pink life form is floating in his wing mirror.
Oxide: "What on Gasmoxia—what is that?"
Oxide pulls down his window and watches closely as the life form begins to float past him.
Oxide: "Now why does this specimen look so… well, familiar to me? Where have I seen this character before?"
The life form begins to float out of sight, only for a door to open on the back of the spaceship and a small chute pulls it inside. Oxide examines the dead creature.
Oxide: "Hey… now I remember you! You once challenged me to a race some odd few years ago… and I won!"
Pinkofluffo: "Quite right, but I doubt that you will have to be recapping that moment for much longer."
Oxide: "Huh? You spoke!"
Pinkofluffo: "Of course I spoke, you pitiful alien, but don’t think that you’ll be speaking for much longer, because you won’t be around much longer to do so!"
Oxide: (getting angry) "Are you challenging me to a fight? Because I warn you, these puny fists of mine were made for the wheel, not the punch!"
Pinkofluffo: "Well that’s something you’ll just have to put up with, isn’t it?"
With that, Pinkofluffo pulls out his pitchfork and pokes it into Oxide’s stomach.
Pinkofluffo: "Take that!"
Oxide is too busy chortling to hear.
Oxide: "Ha! I’m touched! So you are asking for a fight after all! Okay, Pink Wonder, I challenge you! I’ll take you out with one hand tied behind my back!"
Pinkofluffo: "Good idea."
Pinkofluffo holds his pitchfork high then slams it straight into the side of Oxide’s face.
Oxide: "OOOOOWWWWWWW!!! Hey, that wasn’t the kind of material I was feeling earlier! Uh-oh…"
Pinkofluffo: "Hiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
With a final blow, Oxide is sprawled out on the floor, bruises on his bruises, convincingly dead. Satisfied, Pinkofluffo leaps into the ship’s cockpit with an evil grin.
Pinkofluffo: "Well, I suppose that now Oxide’s dead, he’s no longer fastest driver in the galaxy. I am! However, there is one exception. And now to use this hub to get to Earth and take my revenge on him – (looks up to the stars) Crash Bandicoot! You’d better be real prepared, because I’m ready to hand back the pain you gave me, with a very special share to that pitiful voodoo mask friend of yours as well!"
Pinkofluffo’s dictation ends in an explosion of evil laughter, as the spaceship takes off at lightning speed, headed straight for the Planet Earth.
*****************************************
The next scene is consisting of a typical peaceful mood at Crash's home. Coco is tempting Polar bear with a stick and Crash is asleep again, dreaming of a beach of bikini (bandicoot) girls. Meanwhile, Aku Aku is indoors, practising his witchcraft. He floats beside the burning fire, his ears closed, as if concentrating on something. As he begins to hum, a large blue jar on the windowsill begins to rattle.
Aku Aku: "Hmmmmmm... hmmm... HM!"
The jar suddenly lifts off the sill, now hovering in mid-air.
Aku Aku: "Hmmm.... um... oh, no..."
The jar floats halfway across the room, then drops a little.
Aku Aku: "Hmm. Hmm-- NO!"
Aku Aku's eyes shoot open. The jar drops, then shatters into a million pieces as it makes contact with the floor.
Aku Aku: "No... a disturbance... in my calculations."
Coco and Pura rush in.
Coco: "What is it? We heard a smash--"
Aku Aku: "It's none of your business. Go back outside and play, or something. It was just an error in my spell."
Coco: "But that's exactly why I came! You never have 'errors' in your spells! You're a natural born master at witchcraft, remember?"
Aku Aku: "I know... come to think of it, this was not a natural mistake. While concentrating, I saw a vision. (to Coco) I believe it was of the future."
Coco: "You're kidding. What was the vision?"
Aku Aku: "I only saw one figure. But it was monstrously-built at that, and I could've sworn that I heard screaming in the background."
Coco: "That might've came from outside. Polar bear ran over the sprinkler and me and Pura screamed when a spray of water attacked us."
Aku Aku: "NO! Don't try to disguise things, Coco! This vision was real, and the screams were a lot more horrifying than the ones you describe."
Coco: "So... what could this vision of yours be telling us?"
Aku Aku: "I think it is trying to tell us that we could soon be facing an old ally."
Pura cried.
Coco: (strokes Pura to calm him) "Who could it be, then?"
Aku Aku: (screaming) "LOOK, I DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS AROUND HERE, YOU KNOW, THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH BRAIN THAT A FLOATING TWO BY FOUR CAN HAVE, SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!!"
Coco: "Sorry. But I was only wanting suggestions."
Aku Aku: "Oh. Well it could be anybody."
Coco: "Like... Oxide?"
Aku Aku: "Oxide never made anybody scream. Look, Coco, this returned enemy of ours has to have a link with the vision. It had horrifying screaming in it, like it was some kind of war, so think of the most positively evil life form we've ever had to face."
Coco: "Did the figure look like Cortex?"
Aku Aku has no time to answer before something large swoops by in his window at a lightning speed.
Aku Aku: "OH MY GOD! DID YOU SEE THAT?"
Coco: "See... what?"
Aku Aku: "It was Oxide's spaceship I saw! I swear it was! It must be Oxide! He must've returned to gain his revenge on the Earth! But he must have some kind of army with him this time... Coco, you stay here with Pura, while me and Crash follow the ship!"
Coco: "Hey, no way! I want to see Oxide! I never got a chance to race him when he was last here so I want to see what he looks like!"
Pura: (agreeing) "Meow-wow!"
Aku Aku: "Well, okay, then. Come if you want, but I'd advise that you stay in here. If Oxide's got anything major big under his sleeve then it'll be Crash with the ability to stop him."
With that, Aku Aku floats out the window. Soon after making his exit out the window, Aku Aku approaches his sleeping marsupial friend.
Aku Aku: "Oh, darn... he's dreaming of something good. How am I to wake him without him getting... aw, heck, this is the fate of the world that I'm tossing from side to side here! (leans towards Crash) CRASH, WAKE UP!!!!!!!!"
Crash stirs.
Crash: "Ugh... get out of my room, Aku Aku."
Aku Aku: "But, Crash! It's morning! And what's more, you're outdoors! Crash, wake up! This is urgent! Oxide's back!"
Crash's eyes shoot open.
Crash: "B-b-b-b-but... but you're kidding!"
Aku Aku: "I'm not! It's Oxide's spaceship! I saw it pass our window! I swear I did! (looks up to the sky) Oh no... there it is!!!!!!! It's hovering past N Sanity Beach! Crash, I'm going to follow it! This entire island is my responsibility, and I'm not going to see it in flames, OK?"
Crash: "I'm not exactly saying that I'm buying this, but I think I'll come with you. For the sake of argument."
Coco: (leaping out of nowhere) "SUUUURRRRPPPRRRRIIIIISSSSSEEEEEE!!!!!!"
Aku Aku: "YARRRRGGGHHH-- oh, thank god, it's only you, Coco."
Crash: "Beat it, sis! This is, erm, man's stuff. Right, Aku Aku?"
Aku Aku: (trembling at the thought of the vision) "H-h-h-horrors! Horrors!"
Coco: "He's getting old, Crash-- and besides, I didn't see Oxide when he last came, so I want to see him now -- so ner!"
Aku Aku: "Oh, fine, you can come then! Just as long as you haven't brought the--"
Polar: "Woof!"
Pura: "Meeeooowwwww!!!"
Crash: "Er... pets?"
Coco: "Aw, c'mon, guys, they deserve a chance to see the Oxide guy as well!"
Aku Aku: "Oh, you two, you're growing so idiotic over the years! Look, Oxide doesn't want a race this time round, he wants a war!"
Crash: "Huh? How'd you figure that one out?"
Aku Aku: "It was in the vision I saw -- something I didn't exactly mentioned to you, Crash. But anyway, we don't have time to explain it all to you right now. Everybody-- in direction of N Sanity Beach!"
Crash: "Got it!"
Meanwhile, Oxide's spaceship has already landed not too far off the shore of the beach. Mysterious laughter ensues as the back of the ship begins to open. Crash and the others make it only just in time to meet their hideous ally.
Crash: (leaping before the open spaceship door) "Alright, Oxide, now you're outnumbered real -- WHAT THE!!!"
Coco: "Hey!"
Aku Aku: "Oh no... oh no... this I dreaded the worse!"
The open spaceship hub reveals a familiar pink, fluffy specimen, surrounded by three large, muscle bound bandicoots -- presumably his henchmen. All four are cackling evilly at our heroes.
Crash: "Hey... hold on a minute... hey, you aren't Oxide! But I know who you really are, that's for certain!"
Coco: "Hey hey, I don't recognise this guy at all! Who is he?"
Crash: "You weren't really a part of it, Coco. (to Pinko) But what gives, I always thought you were dead!"
Pinkofluffo: "Well, looks like you thought a little wrongly this time, didn't you? For the initiated, my name is Pinkofluffo--"
Crash: "--that's him! The one I defeated so easily only two years ago!"
Pinkofluffo: "Hey, quit rubbing it in my face, I was a challenging opponent, admit it!"
Aku Aku: "Yes! You were! You were! But now you're back!" (getting jumpy again!)
Crash: "No way! He was as easy as Wumpa Fruit pie! I swear! Look, Pinko, if you want a challenge--"
Pinkofluffo: "I'm sorry, but I think my-- ahem-- little friends have a slight bit more interest in that than I do right now. (turns to henchmen) Bruno! Stinky! Fathead! I want these three fools done in good and proper when I come back."
Bruno: "Derrhh... 'come back?'"
Pinkofluffo: "You know! You three can be having some fun with these guys, while I take the tiger and the white thing away on the spaceship and find some unfortunate planet to humiliate them without any of Crash or his friends getting in the way. Do you understand?"
Fathead: (grinning at Crash) "Oh, yeah!! We understand! Heh heh!"
Crash: (to Pinko) "Hey, white thing has a name, you know--"
Pinkofluffo: (holding up Pura and Polar) "Get them!! And make sure you don't ruff up the thick one too much. I'd like to finish him off myself. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
***************************************************
In the meantime, while the battle for the fate of the islands is about to commence, a familiar temple is shaking fiercely. Eventually, it explodes with a loud blowing of trees. Aku Aku's sibling hovers out from the smoke.
Uka Uka: "WHAT IS THIS!!!! Everybody are wanting to stay away from me and yet they still wake me from my sleep! Oh, for Aku Aku's sake, I just hope they don't come too close as to feeling my immutable wrath! Darn, I feel so tired... what time of morning is this? Oh, no matter... CORTEX!!!!"
Cortex: (coming out of nowhere) "What is it, Master? Heh, heh..."
Uka Uka: "Was it you who woke me up?"
Cortex: "No, sir... heavens, no! You were just having a bad dream, my honour..."
Uka Uka: "Well it was a pretty loud 'bad dream' if you ask me, minion. (grabs Cortex around the neck with some kind of invisible grip and prepares to strangle him) ADMIT IT!!! YOU DID IT!!!"
Cortex: "No, sir! I promise I did not!"
Uka Uka: "Then ask me this, my pitiful slave, who did?"
Cortex: "I know nothing of it! I swear! It must've been that bandicoot--"
Uka Uka: "DON'T--YOU--LIE TO ME!!!"
Suddenly, a whirring noise ensues from somewhere. Uka Uka and Cortex stop to listen.
Uka Uka: "What is it...(turns to Cortex) CORTEX, WHAT IS IT?!!!"
Suddenly, Oxide's familiar green spaceship begins to hover above them.
Uka Uka: "It's that twerp Nitrous Oxide again! What was he doing here?"
Cortex: (secretly getting mad) "Probably to shut you up--"
Uka Uka: "WHAT?!"
The spaceship blasts out of sight. Crash, Coco and Aku Aku come out from behind the trees.
Uka Uka: "YOU THREE!! YOU WOKE ME UP!!!"
Aku Aku: "We promise that we did not, inferior brother."
Uka Uka: "INFERIOR?!!!!"
Crash: (holding his bloody nose) "That was Pinkofluffo making off with Polar and Pura. I tried to stop him, but unfortunately one of those big guys soon made me pay big for it--(feels his nose) OW! It hurts sooo much. I think all the blood has drained out of it. It's gone all soft."
Coco: "Eeeww!"
Uka Uka: "Pinkofluffo?!! But he was defeated 1000 voodoo mask years ago! And besides, that was Oxide's space ship that was flying away!"
Aku Aku: "A very interesting case we have here. (to Crash and Coco) Children, do you know what this means?"
Crash: "Err... Oxide has his spaceship mass-produced?"
Aku Aku: "No! It means that Pinko must've gotten rid of Oxide somehow, and now he's taken control of his ship!"
Cortex: "So, Pinko survived? I should've known, but... hey, he was so easy to defeat!"
Fathead: "Little Pinko doesn't like insults, little man! Heh, heh!"
All three muscular bandicoots, Stinky, Bruno and Fathead come out from the bush.
Bruno: "Huh huh... now it's payback time-- for Pinkofluffo, that is! Get ready to wrestle!"
Coco: "Uh-oh... it's them!"
Crash: "Oh, great. We've got these three yet to take care of, and even if we do take them all out, we'll never be able to stop Pinkofluffo in time! By now he's probably already out in space somewhere, with Polar and Pura under each arm!"
Aku Aku: "Ah, but we still have one hope. (turns to Uka Uka) Brother, you never really liked Pinko either. You must join forces with us to defeat these three!"
Uka Uka: "With you? This is a joke!"
Aku Aku: "The only joke we're having here, my brother, is that you're far too-- should I say-- chicken, to join us."
Uka Uka: "Hey, no way! Oh, okay, then. We'll hoin forces! I'll go round up some of my team."
Aku Aku: "Good. And in the meantime, my children will be squaring off against these guys--"
Crash: "Hey, no way!"
Coco: "And besides, I'm a girl! My fists are too tiny!"
Aku Aku: "Enough, you two! Just remember that this is all in favour of your pets' lives. That should make you more confident. Oh, and Cortex can join you, too."
Bruno: "Huh huh... c'mon, guys, I'm after a big breakfast here!"
Fathead: "Yeah, you've got a point -- I could eat that one in jeans with one swallow!"
*************************************************
Aku Aku has left the newly-formed battlefield -- N Sanity Beach -- with old sibling Uka Uka in search of more contenders for Pinkofluffo's henchmen. In the meantime, it's up to Crash, Coco and surprise addition Cortex to hold them off. The battle to decide the fate of pets Pura and Polar is about to begin.
Crash: (groans) "Let's just get this over with..."
Stinky: "Huh huh huh... hey, hear that, fellas! Squirrel boy thinks that he can 'get us over with'!"
Bruno: "HA! Hah-hah-hah! And how many years of hands-on wrestling experience have they had on comparison to our sixteen years?"
Coco: "Hey, shut it right now, you overgrown wimps in bandicoots' clothing! Crash will only need a second of experience to become your equals!"
Bruno: (to Stinky and Fathead) "Oi, lads... I think there's a problem with this here girl."
Fathead: "Yeah. A problem with her mouth!"
Stinky: "Maybe someone should recap her on how to SHUT UP!"
Bruno: "Well then, why don't we all just dissect their jaws from their skulls? That way, they won't be able to attack us with their sloppy, mindless garble any more!"
Fathead: "Hee hee... yeah, I second that one!"
All three bandicoot men exchange mischievous glances. After a few seconds, they make their move, all lunging straight at Crash!
Stinky: "The tubby one's mine!!"
Fathead: "Hey, no fair! I had my eyes set on that one!"
Bruno: "Quit the arguments, you know perfectly that he appeared in the corner of my eye first!"
Crash: "HORRORS!!!"
Bruno reaches Crash first and holds him up firmly by the neck. Fathead and Stinky soon join the crowd, and both also clamp their hands around Crash's neck.
Bruno: "Won't you guys ever quit? Let go! Why can't you each settle for one of the other two?"
Stinky: "But I want this one!"
Fathead: "The other two stink!"
Meanwhile, both Coco and Cortex are watching the struggle with disbelief.
Coco: "Well, I've never quite been so relieved as to being referred to as smelly before!"
Cortex: "Me too." (laughs Cortex-style)
Coco: "CORTEX! It's Crash, isn't it? You're enjoying this!"
Cortex: "What's to say? You and that wumpa-stuffed brother of yours have been up my backside for years. It brings me such joy to see him in so confined a position, and remember that once he's been dealt with, they're going to have to go after at least one of us."
Coco: (rolling her eyes) "Yeah... but what makes you so confident that it won't be you? Remember that you and Uka Uka never really used to like Pinkofluffo that much, either."
Cortex: "Ah, so we didn't. But we could easily just let these handsome people finish the job they started, and then I can finish them off. Not only will I be getting all the credit for saving the island, but with Crash gone, as well as Pura and Polar who are probably already suffocating out in the far away realms of space now, you'll be the only one standing in my way!"
Coco: "What about Baby T? And besides, I'll bet that Polar and Pura are not dead yet! I bet that we have all the time we need to take out these three bullies, and track down Pinkofluffo-- big time!"
Cortex: "Hmm... you're confident, girl. But if you're to save your pitiful brother then it's now or never! Your time is ticking away, pretty much like a bomb... you try to disable it, but you can't, and BOOM-- YOU ARE WEASEL SANDWICH!!! Bwa ha ha ha--"
Coco: "OK, Cortex, I will save Crash, but I'll need your help."
Cortex: "Oh, puh-leeeaase! Me helping you?"
Coco: "Your master Uka Uka made a deal with our master Aku Aku. We can't disobey them."
Cortex: "But you do forget, my girl, I am a bad guy! We never obey anybody! We don't let our idiot so-called 'masters' shove us around..."
Coco: "Hey, but that's not--"
Crash: (still being strangled) "YOU... IDIOTS... HELP... ME... BEFORE... I... DA-DA-DIE..."
Coco: (to Cortex) "OK, here's the plan, Cortex. I'll drop a penny at Crash's feet. The big guys will hear the noise and all bend down and scramble wildly for it. When they do, that'll be your cue-- to rush over and blast them all in their sorry backsides! Did you get all that?"
Cortex: "You must be crazy if you think--"
Coco: "No time! Cortex--now!!"
At that moment, Coco leans forward and drops the penny.
*************************************************
Aku Aku and Uka Uka are storming through the jungle to reach their destination -- that they're not particularly sure of. But one thing's for sure, progress hasn't been good on the bad guys, so whatever help they find, they'd better bring it over quick, before the bandicoot nation becomes a member short. Uka Uka, moving too fast to notice where he's going, slams head-on into the stone wall of a cleverly-hidden pyramid shaped temple.
Uka Uka: "OWWWWWWW!!!!!"
Aku Aku: "Keep moving, Uka Uka! And do try to watch where you're going in the meantime..."
Uka Uka: "It was hidden, my stupid brother! I did not see it coming!"
Aku Aku: "Well, you sure hit it pretty hard. Look, you've made all the bricks in the wall cave in. Almost like a..."
The damaged part of the wall comes down like a door.
Uka Uka: "...switch?"
The two voodoo brothers exchange curious glances, before slowly floating inside.
Aku Aku: "Uka Uka, do not follow me. You'd be better waiting at the door for me. Now we obviously wouldn't want the door to close in on us--"
The once-opened door behind the two masks slams shut, trapping them in complete darkness.
Uka Uka: "Like that?"
Aku Aku: "Yes, like that..."
Uka Uka: "Mummy! Brother, I've got the willies here! We can't see anything!"
Aku Aku: "Uka Uka, you have forgotten the one ability we have... that gives us light!"
Uka Uka: "What is it?"
Aku Aku: "This!!"
Aku Aku suddenly lights up in golden fire, illuminating the room.
Uka Uka: "Hey, how'd you -- wait a minute..."
Uka Uka suddenly lights up as well, bathed in a red fire. The rest of the room lights up.
Aku Aku: "Yay! That's what I was stabbing at!"
Uka Uka: "Well, fine, then! We've got light again, but now how do we open the frickin' door??"
Aku Aku: "Uka Uka, please give me the space to work on that..."
Meanwhile, the battle is going on as wild as ever - Crash is now having his hair violently tugged out by the muscular guys.
Coco: "Darn it... they didn't see the penny!"
Cortex: (watching Crash) "My, this is too fun!"
Coco: "They're smart... but nobody can have as much brawn as brain. Let's see..."
Cortex: "Oh, fine, then!"
Coco: (to Cortex) "Huh? What?"
Cortex: "I'll attack those big guys. You stay back here while I show those broad-shouldered thickos whose boss."
Coco: (gasps) "Cortex..."
Crash: (to the muscular bandicoots) "EEEEE!!! Let go of me flippin' Adam's apple! Us bandicoots are an endangered species as it is!"
Stinky: "Huh huh huh... no amount of screaming is going to save you, fruit boy! You can't complain us away!"
Coco: "Crash, we're coming! (to Cortex) Go!"
Cortex: "Oh, okay, then... man, just what crime did I commit to fall into this... (to muscular lads) Hey, you! You fat men! Let go of that rat!"
Crash: (suffocating) "I'm--a--band...ee...coot..."
Bruno: (to Cortex) "Hey, we're not fat!"
Stinky: "Yeah, just nicely covered!"
Fathead: "What right do you have to insult us, you little nerdo?"
Cortex: "Drop him! Or I'll shoot you all!"
Fathead: "Huh, huh... with such a tiny little gun?"
Stinky: "He's having us on!"
Coco: (looking out to the forest) "Oh, Aku Aku, where are you..."
Cortex: (to muscular lads) "You had your chance..."
To the muscular bandicoots' surprise, Cortex attacks with a running leap, gun poised at them.
Cortex: "DIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
Stinky: "NNNEEEEVVVVVEEEERRRRR!!!!!!"
Cortex attempts to shoot Stinky, but as he does, they fling Crash at Cortex -- and the fireball from Cortex's gun flings straight through Crash's body!
Cortex: "What the--?"
Coco: "Whoa..."
Crash's body collapses to the ground, a large hole driven right through him. But his eyes are still open, and he's still alive.
Crash: (to muscular lads) "Why, you little cheapskates! Just you wait til my body outgrows this dainty big hole in my belly again!"
Stinky: "Gosh, fellas... a hole in one!!!"
Crash: "That's not funny, you little..."
Bruno: "Whoa, look at him... he's getting kind of mad..."
Stinky: "Derr... you're too right!!"
Fathead: "RUN FOR IT!!!!"
But it's too late -- before they know it, Crash is armed with Cortex's gun and is shooting at them wildly with fireballs. One of the fireballs begins to follow Fathead's feet.
Fathead: "No... noooooooooooooo!!!!!!"
The fireball picks up speed, and eventually it makes contact. Fathead's screams are stopped by a strong glare of bright light. His body is flung straight into a nearby tree and bounced back onto the floor in front of Crash.
Fathead: "Oh, no... Oh, no... YYYAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!"
Fathead disappears in another bright glare of light. Crash is left standing, still holed, Cortex and Coco standing behind him. Stinky and Bruno look annoyed.
Stinky: "He killed Fathead!"
Bruno: "Why, you little weasel-headed moron! You're going to regret this very day, Crash, as soon as we're through with you!"
*******************************************
Crash, Coco and Cortex have just triumphed in defeating the first of Pinkofluffo's henchmen, Fathead. Now it's up to the victorious trio to finish off Bruno and Stinky and chase Pinkofluffo through the realms of space to win back the lives of their precious pets, Pura and Polar -- but it's not going to be easy.
Bruno: "Let's FINISH THEM!!!!"
Stinky: "Yeah, before they finish us! (whispers in Bruno's ear) Say... that little rat boy is kinda tough, in his own little way. Best keep an eye on him. Can't bargain on what's scrolling through his little mind."
Bruno: "Right."
Coco: (to Crash) "Wow, Crash, you really did take care of that Fathead guy! And you were even willing enough to sacrifice your nicely-covered stomach for it."
Crash: "That's not funny. C'mon, guys, let's give it all we've got on the next two, killing Fathead has made them real angry."
Coco: "Right, Crash. Did you get all that, Cortex?"
Cortex: "Oh, sure, of course I did. But all I wanna know is this: where are those two mask brothers when you really need them most?"
Coco: "They have been gone for quite a long time..."
Crash: "Well, we're going to have to make do without them for the time being. It's life, guys."
Bruno: (shouting) "Are you three ready yet? Because we are!!!"
Crash: "Yeah, ready when you are, you headless chickens!"
Bruno: "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"
Stinky: "Never mind. Just finish them off, now! The fun stuff is over!"
Bruno: "Right! (to Crash, Coco and Cortex) OK, this is where the battle really starts, kiddies! So buckle up real tight, cos this is gonna be no merry go round, got it?"
Crash: "Yeah, yeah... just start the battle already!"
Stinky: "OK, then... huh, huh... (to Bruno) Go geddem!"
Bruno: "Me? Hey, that's not fair! I was expecting you to go after them first!"
Stinky: "Well surprise surprise, I'm not. You are!"
Meanwhile, Aku Aku and Uka Uka are busy trying to figure out an escape to their new imprisonment. Aku Aku's eyes light up with excitement as he reads the engravings in the wall.
Aku Aku: "Very interesting... Uka Uka, this very temple used to be a machinery warehouse for a race in existence light years before even us masks! It is said in these engravings -- in mask language, of course -- that their technology used to be incredible, way more advanced than even our own. And all their greatest achievements were enclosed in this dome, shortly before a mysterious ally attacked their race and they faced extinction. Surely they must have a spacecraft of some kind around here somewhere, we could really use one to catch up with Pinkofluffo, wherever he may be right now!"
Uka Uka: "Pinkofluffo will be light years away by now. He will already have killed your precious animals and he will certainly be already on his way back to finish the rest of us off! Pinkofluffo was always the slyest of enemies even those few years ago he was never defeated! He will never be defeated! Pinkofluffo can triumph over all! Pinkofluffo can triumph over anything..."
Aku Aku: "You really need more confidence in you, my brother. There can always be a first time for Pinkofluffo's defeat. The greatest of enemies never die early. Like when you're trying to lift a really heavy bag of sugar, it will always take more than just one attempt."
Uka Uka: "Aku Aku, you are being foolish! Pinkofluffo doesn't die! He never has! Pinkofluffo has been a legend! He has interrupted the lives of many! And now he is about to interrupt yours -- and no matter how much confidence you have in you, you will not succeed in defeating that of PINKOFLUFFO!!!!"
Aku Aku: "Enough, Uka Uka! This argument is never going to end! We're best off searching for a spaceship now while we may still have a chance."
Uka Uka: "Foolish brother... stupid brother... nincompoop of a brother... Pinkofluffo shall dispose of you way before your time is up, Aku Aku! You cannot win! He is too superior over any willing competitor! He is-- hey, what the--"
Aku Aku floats out of a nearby room, a large golden contraption following him out, as if tied to him by an invisible string.
Uka Uka: "What is that...?"
Aku Aku: "Brother, it is the spaceship that we have been searching so long for! Now we may almost certainly have a chance to stop Pinko--"
Uka Uka: "There you are, at it again, 'Ooh I can beat Pinkofluffo with one hand tied behind my back'..."
Aku Aku: "UKA UKA!"
Suddenly, the walls of the dome begin to crack. Then they begin to cave in.
Aku Aku: "Uka Uka -- oh my god -- UKA UKA!!! THE PYRAMID IS FALLING APART!!!!!" (shielding the spaceship) "Uka Uka! Come here and help me, will you? If this crumbling rock falls all over our precious spacecraft then we shall never catch Pinkofluffo!"
Uka Uka: (heading for the door) "Have fun, brother! I'm off to save myself!"
Aku Aku: "No, you fool! You can't do this to me! I could disappear forever under this crumbling building, and never be found again! And then there's all the woodworm that will seep through the remains of the rock and start thawing away at my wood... oh, Uka Uka, it's too scary! Pleeeeaassseee stay and save me!"
Just as Aku Aku's screams begin to disappear behind the falling walls of rock, a figure swoops through and grabs Aku Aku.
Aku Aku: (screaming) "NOOO!!! MY SHIP!!!!"
Surely enough, the spaceship gets plunged on by the collapsing temple rock, but Uka Uka has made it out safely and so has Aku Aku's rescuer, who has now perched himself on a nearby rock.
Midget Gator: "Hey, hey! Are you Ok?"
Aku Aku: (dazed) "Huh? Hey, hold it a minute... I remember you! But... where's your Dad?"
Snappy Gator: "Heh, heh... try looking behind you, Aku Aku!"
Aku Aku rotates himself in Midget's hands so he's facing Snappy.
Aku Aku: "H-hey, hi there! I think you proudly reward your son for saving me, I was almost obsolete MDF!" (chuckles heartily)
Midget: "Yeah, but I'm sorry for not being able to rescue you that spacecraft -- it seemed pretty important to you..."
Uka Uka: "Yeah, he wanted to protect it. You see, Pinkofluffo's back."
Snappy: (stratching his head) "A Pinkofluffo, 'ey? Umm... some kind of famous Candy Floss brand name or somefin'?"
Aku Aku: "Well I'd be much happier if he was a brand of Candy Floss, that way he'd be a lot less threatening... but this guy's evil in the worst extreme! Why, he even made off with Pura and Polar!"
Midget: "Sounds bad... hey, why don't we help?"
Snappy: "Hey, I don't know, Midget..."
Aku Aku: "Of course you can! That is, if you want to, Midget. Snappy, you can stay here if you want, while we go find a spaceship to chase after Pinko in. Midget, Crash, Coco and Cortex are -- let me calculate -- about seven miles in that direction. They're busy holding off Pinkofluffo's henchmen. There's supposed to be three, but I'm having a bit of trouble sensing the third one right now..."
Uka Uka: "Brother, they probably defeated him. I bet you that Cortex has been doing all the dirty work while your two ferrets have been slobbing out on deckchairs, treating themselves to a large, tall glass of wumpa fruit shake..."
Aku Aku: "Enough, Uka Uka! Crash and Coco know a lot better than that! How do you think thst they actually managed to defeat your star pupil Cortex three times in a row?"
Uka Uka: "Erm..."
Midget is already gliding in the direction of the battlefield. Meanwhile, the actual battle has nudged into the heat of the action.
Crash: "Take this, you warthog!" (slams his hand into Bruno's shoulder)
Bruno: (sarcastic) "Huh, huh... 'oo, that hurt sooooo much'! Hey, kid -- eat fist!"
Bruno slams his fist straight into Crash's midsection.
Crash: "YYYYAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!" (colapses to the ground, clutching his stomach)
Meanwhile, Coco and Cortex are busy with the alternative henchman, Stinky.
Stinky: "Hey, you worms! Come closer so that I may kiss your sorry butts goodbye!"
Cortex: "Wrong, my pitiful rodent friend -- both you and the giant mould of flesh that serves as your body is going down!" (attacks Stinky with a shot of his gun)
Stinky: (deflects Cortex's fireball) "C'mon, you weenies, you gotta try a lot harder than that!"
Coco: (to Cortex) "He can deflect all our attacks... how can we stop him?"
Cortex: "Leave all that to me! You don't even have a weapon, remember?"
Coco: "So? Neither does Crash!"
Cortex: "Exactly. And right now, he's doing bad because of it."
Bruno is having fun slamming Crash's head into the ground when he suddenly stops and raises his head.
Stinky: "What is it, Bruno? You've almost finished off your orange ferret friend! What has gotten you so intrigued right now?"
Bruno: "It's another life form, Stinky... and it's coming straight our way! Oh my god, it's so powerful!"
Stinky: "Don't be silly, Bruno. There's nothing here."
Meanwhile, Midget is on his way to the battlefield when he gets flung straight into a tree by a strong wind.
Midget: "Whoa... what a power! It's so huge!"
**********************************************
Meanwhile, while Crash and co are having their trouble with the muscular henchman, Pinkofluffo himself is making back off in Oxide's spacecraft, Polar and Pura in the back, both howling behind locked cages. Pinko is thinking over how he should take care of the two when his eyes light up at the sight of a foggy, pink planet to his right.
Pinkofluffo: "Huh... huh... wha--? Hey, what in the name of... why does that planet look so... familiar..."
Polar bear howls miserably from somewhere in the back of the ship.
Pinkofluffo: (to Polar) "Shut it! (tsk-tsks) Idiot. Now, where was I... that planet, yes!"
The spacecraft hovers closer to the planet. After a few seconds, it disappears in a flash of intense blue light. Meanwhile, Midget has reached the battlefield. And just in time, having arrived only seconds before Bruno was to give Crash the final wallop.
Bruno: (freezes when he sees Midget) "Huh? Hey, no way!"
Stinky: "Calm down, Bruno. This little fella isn't paying homage to the high power level we had felt earlier. He'll be just a by-passer, just, erm, passing by."
Crash: (dazed) "Huh? Hey! Hey, Midget! You made it! Heh-heh! And only just in time!"
Bruno: "WHAT????!!! Bruno squish puny village person!"
Stinky: "Calm down, Bruno, you wouldn't want to get just that bit too mad... erm, whoops! Too late! (to Midget) Don't mind him. You see, when he gets mad, he has a tendency to tear apart puny lizards such as yourself. Just... well, follow my advice, just don't get in his way."
Bruno: (snarling wildly) "STINKY, I AM NOT MAD!!!!"
Stinky: "Oh, I see... well, if you're not quite mad now, then I'd hate to see the moment when you are! Heh-heh!"
Coco: (to Midget) "Wow, you made it... and before we lost our first team member. But... where's your Dad?"
Midget: "He's with your voodoo friends. But I'm sure it won't be long before all three of them will be joining us, and with the perfect weapon to catch Pinko with!"
Cortex: "So... you know about him!"
Midget: "Well... yeah!"
Coco: "Well, that saves us a lot of time to explain... but, Midget, since when did your power reading get so... well, big?"
Midget: "Sorry to disappoint you slightly, Coco... but that isn't mine."
Cortex and Coco: (together) "WHAT??"
Midget: "Yeah, you heard that right. The real big power reading is belonging to none other but... dare I say it… Shen Lo Ken."
Cortex: "Now, how did he figure that out..."
Coco: "Whoa, this is wicked..."
Suddenly, Coco leaps before Bruno and wallops him up the nose. Extra hard!
Coco: "Hey, walking flesh warehouse -- looks like that 'power level' is on our side! Now you're both in for a torturing!"
Stinky: (having overheard) "Hey... hey, no way!"
Bruno: "That's not going to matter. Not if we can beat up these four little squirts before he joins them!" (cracking his knuckles) "it's over, sprouts! We've practically won before the battle has even started!"
Crash: (whimpering) "Save us! Save us!"
Stinky: "There's no-one 'ere to save yers now, fellas! The ride's over! (to Bruno) They aren't getting the point. Tell them through your fists!"
Bruno: "Gottit, huh-hurh! (to Crash & co.) 'Ey, lucky winners... you've all just won infinite supplies of beef and turkey knuckle sandwiches! And no seconds!"
While this is happening, Pinko has landed his ship on the aforementioned pink planet and has his mind set on browsing the area, just as he is greeted by cute little pink aliens... all with a peculiar resemblance to himself!
Alien 1: "Worshipped one! Worshipped one!"
Pinkofluffo: "Huh? Worshipped one? What is this?"
The alien motions to a stone statue behind him... of Pinkofluffo!
Alien 1: "What is this, you ask? Why, it's to show our great love for you, worshipped one! After almost half a decade, you have returned to us, having triumphed over your age-old arch nemesis!"
Pinkofluffo: "I don't even have the faintest idea of what you are talking about. Who is this 'arch nemesis' of mine?"
Alien 2: "Why, you know that! Crash Bandicoot!"
Pinkofluffo: "What?"
Suddenly, everything becomes clear to him. This planet is his own home, and these aliens are his old friends! Pinko was once the ruler of the planet, and requested his deputy to take his place as he set out deep into the realms of space to challenge his newest rival. At this time, Pinko would work for Cortex, and therefore, he was often left to leave them as he set off to deal with some of the mad doctor's most annoying enemies, people of good, just like Crash and his friends, who would fight against Cortex and his minions to avoid the crazy professor from taking the world as his own. But Pinko was superior to Cortex in terms of speed and agility, so those who need manage to trouble Cortex were then left to him. And along with his planet's advanced technology and machinery, he would wipe them all out. However, Crash was special. Once Cortex recognised this, he used some cunning trickery to catapult Crash into the most dangerous realms of space to challenge Pinko. Cortex expected the orange one to be taken out with ease, just like every year. However, this was not the case. With some special technology of his own, beamed up to him by sister Coco, Pinko's machinery was destroyed and as Crash beamed back down to Earth to receive his congratulating, it was thought that the chubby, pink one had been caught in the explosion and eliminated for good. But now, after almost five years of waiting, Pinko had returned to his own home. And although he never quite recognised it at times, more eager than ever to play a bit of bovver on a member of the well-known, orange species. Meanwhile, back on Earth, a familiar figure is catapulting at light speed in the direction of the battlefield. None other than...
Shen Lo Ken: (glancing at his wrist) "Oh, man, how long is this journey taking? Crash and Coco are up to their heads in trouble and not even at this kind of speed am I getting much closer to them! There's definitely something weird going on, though... (gasps) Oh, darn, an energy drop! And it felt like Crash's! This is no good!"
Sure enough, over where the battle's at, Crash is getting a right torturing. Bruno is constantly slamming his head into the ground, enjoying his cries of pain.
Bruno: "Heh, heh... Hey, maybe I should get one of these for a b'day, 'ey, Stinky? Cuddly Talking Crash Bandicoot, with one one phrase - 'ouch'!"
Crash: "Cortex! Coco! Midget! For crying out loud, he's killing me, here!"
Coco: "We're, erm, coming, Crash!"
Cortex: "Admit it, just like the rest of us, you're just far too afraid to bother getting involved and receiving a beating from that big guy! And even then, there's that other guy... oh, brother, do I hate that guy's smirk!"
Midget: "Where Pinko is now could be just about anyone's guess. Probably enjoying some festivities at a friends' place, chatting on about how cruel their methods were with murdering Pura and Polar."
Suddenly, an explosion comes from behind a row of palm trees along the back of the beach. A reddish, mushroom cloud begins to form in the air.
Coco: "Who... did that?"
Cortex: "I'll bet my rather fetching-looking, traditionally handsome mug that it's your little Shen friend."
Stinky: (to Bruno) "Oi! Bruno! These three twerps are talking about something they don't particularly want us to hear! Something about a guy named 'Shen'!"
Coco: "It's none of your business! Quit eavesdropping on us!"
Bruno: "Twerp! Who were you talking about? Tell me, or I'll give your brother here the final wallop... and it's no lie!"
Another explosion fills the air. Then the entire back row of trees explodes.
Stinky: "WHAT THE--!!"
Bruno: "Yaaarrrgghhh... it's some guy!"
Stinky: "You're kidding! You mean to say that that is a power level?"
Bruno: "I'm afraid so..."
Stinky: "Bruno, you idiot! Kill 'em now! We can't waste any more seconds..."
Shen Lo Ken: "You're not killing anyone, you big ape -- let that bandicoot go!"
Cortex: "What in the name of..."
All eyes turn to the glorious sight, even those frightened eyes of the two muscular bandicoots.
Stinky: "Bruno... I told you not to waste any more time..."
Crash: (grabbing the air) "Water... water... need water... I'm dehydrating here..."
Shen Lo Ken: "Coco, you take Crash and get him what he wants. You two have had enough of these two bullies to worry about."
Midget: "This is unbelievable... Shenny made it! Heh, heh... boy, I hope our luck turns round now!"
Cortex: "You said it, gator boy. I'm, erm, intrigued by this such impressive power reading."
Shen Lo Ken: "You guys can take a break for the minute. I'm taking these two both on..."
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