Announcer 2: You still have to respect Spark Gavin for doing this well. This is only his second major competition loss, 10 years ago coming in 3rd after Kev Kangaroo and Crash Bandicoot. Amazing, truly amazing.
**As Kev Kangaroo embraces the crowd around him, a quiet competitor known as Spark Gavin looks on, alone, from a distance. He has a small smile. He slowly turns... and looks at the sunset...**
~O.o~
Episode 2: Seyes
Ahhhhhhh, the good life. I remember the days of living all alone in the outback. Everyday was a good day, but sadly they were all the same. No adventure at all. And any self-respecting koala like myself lives life for adventure. I remember the day my life changed. It was just like any other day... well duh!
**Seyes jumps from a small hut in a tree and lands on the ground. He looks up and sniffs the air.**
Seyes: Ahhhh, the sweet smell of fall.
I'd like to say that it was the worst day of my life, but without suffering through it I wouldn't be here today.
**Seyes walks a short distance from his hut, the only prized possession in his life. It serves as the only memory he has of his parents, whom disappeared when he was merely an infant.**
Then mister macho had to go and screw up my whole life...
**Seyes' stops picking fruit and listens to a rumbling in the distance.**
I dropped my fruit and ran directly to the hut. Then I saw him - a koala the size of a tank. And beside him I saw my hut, laid to ruins.
Koala Kong: What are you lookin' at, junior?
**Seyes' eyes light up, and he runs forward and punches Koala in the stomach until he is tired. Koala Kong then swats Seyes away, knocking him a good ten feet away.**
Kong: Not my fault! It's all Cortex's! I could enjoy my vacation in peace, but NOOOOOO! He's threatening to kill me unless I help his stupid ploys again. So screw him and screw all you little people who don't know what I live through!
**Koala Kong continues his rampage through the outback. Seyes finally stands up, more of a wobbling up than firmly getting up, and stares at the pile of bamboo.**
,br>
I once called that pile of bamboo home. Koala Kong's ignorance influenced me that I wasn't a truly a "little" person. My memories were gone, and my life wouldn't be the same. The next day a young man named Kev Kangaroo approached me when he was on a journey. He was on his way to find Crash Bandicoot. And then it hit me. Why not help find Crash, and then seek his assistance in stopping Koala Kong once and for all? A stupid plan, I know, but I'm certainly glad I made it. Here I am today, living a normal life. Since I'm only 18, I can only compete in the CTR Junior Federation. In about 2 years I'll be able to race against my life-long pal Kev. If you haven't guessed, Kev and I became pretty good friends, and we were roommates for a few months while Kev was waiting to join the CTR Federation. But CTR Junior only has about 10 races a month, so life isn't too busy for me. But nonetheless, I find adventure - life from a small shack to a luxury apartment. It's not easy being Seyes for even a day...
**A phone rings several times in Seyes' apartment.**
Seyes: I'm in the shower! Stupid phone won't listen to a thing I say.
Hey, talking on stick phones for 10 years makes my imagination untamable! I haven't quite adjusted to this weird life full of stuff we call "technology".
**Seyes picks up the phone.**
Kev: Hey there pal! What's happenin'?
Seyes: Nada. Just getting ready to go watch the newest Jackie Chan movie. Oh yeah, congrats on coming in second at the Crash Cove race.
Kev: Thanks. Oh woops, my calling card is out.
Seyes: What?! Mr. Hot Shot here needs a calling card just to call out of country?!
Kev: Hey! I like to think I'm still normal.
Seyes: Yeah, and my name is derived from a semi-famous writer's last name.
Kev: Well I gotta go. I'm going home to Australia for a few months and staying with family. It's what I really need. I'll visit you after that. We can have a party.
Seyes: Toga!
Kev: Whatever, stupid! Alright, see ya Seyes. I'll call you when I get there.
Seyes: Bye.
rrrrrrr
Me and Kev don't get to hang out like we did for a while, but we keep in touch. Since I'm here alone, I like to explore the city. Today's journey...who knows! I've felt like exploring underneath the city, so who knows what I'll find. It was a short walk to a drainage pipe. Those things are everywhere here.
**Seyes hops the fence in front of a large pipe. He then walks inside with a flashlight. He hops down a series of small tunnels. Then he falls through some wooden planks past a sign that marks "Survivor 2: Production in Progress". He lands in the middle of a small puddle.**
RexRock: Hey! What are you doing in here!
Seyes: Owwwww...
MRacer: Great, looks like Ryan's imagination has wandered again.
RexRock: Huh?
MRacer: Erm, nothing. Looks like a koala. Hey Double D, DM, Demon, Naved...we've caught ourselves some good food.
Donut Dunker: Is it a donut?!
MRacer: Don't think so.
Donut Dunker: Then count me out, my friend.
Naved: Wat is it? Look koala! I think he's here to feed us. Ryan where are you? What is this animal for?
DM: What? I'm going back to sleep. I'm still in hibernation.
MRacer: Jeez, DM is no threat sleeping all the time.
RexRock: Then we won't get rid of him just yet.
**In the distance...**
DM: Hehehe, suckers...
Demon: Okay, fire's ready!
MRacer: Hey little koala!
Seyes: Um, I'll be going!
Those people were weird. Now I know never to go back underneath the city. If I need to meet some irrationally exuberant people I'll go down there, but until then, I'll steer clear of oddville. After getting all dirty for nothing, I figured I'd go to the public pool and wash off. After seeing yellow tinted water, I thought it was best not to go in. So from there, I caught a Yankees game. Caught a ball too!
Announcer: Oh my! Homerun Jeter!
Seyes: Huh?
*WACK*
Seyes: Owwwwww, what's this? Woohoo! I got the ball!
After the game, I realized my wallet was empty. Kev had left me an account here in NYC, so I figured I'd stop and get some money since it was so close.
Seyes: I'd like to get out about $100, please.
Bank Teller: Okay, na--
Robber: Hold it!
**A man jumps forward with a shotgun. Two more stand in front of the door, while 3 more aim guns at the customers.**
Robber: Make this easy on us and stay safe!
**The robber grabs Seyes' cash off the counter.**
Seyes: He-hey!
Robber: Don't try me punk!
Seyes: You smudged my Puma!
Robber: Don't try anything funny, junior!
Junior... I hear that every person has one super weakness. Well, that words lights my fuse... all because of Koala Kong.
Seyes: Don’t... call me... junior...
Robber: Ohhhhh, did I strike a nerve in little boy koala. Go pick some eucalyptus leaves or something.
*WACK*
One robber down, and... um... a few more to go!
**Seyes punches the main robber and takes his gun. The robber runs at him, so Seyes' breaks the gun over the robber's head. He then throws both pieces at the two near the door. By now the cops have gathered outside. Seyes butts the two robbers’ heads, then he turns around and ducks behind a desk to avoid the standing three robbers’ bullets.**
So here I am, bruised and dirty from an encounter with some mole-people named "The A-lion-ce," in a bank getting shot at by guys with Mario and Yoshi masks on. How freakin' ironic I tell ya! What else to do but simply fight Mario by being Mario?
**Mario-esque music (Gorillaz – “Slow Country” melody) begins to play. Seyes jumps on top of the desk as all three robbers are re-loading their guns. He jumps from desk to desk, "popping" objects to get rewards. He spins on a chair. A person stands up at one and he has to dive over. He reaches the final desk, which the robbers are about ten feet away from. He dives, grabs a chandelier, spins around it, flies to the ground and knocks out all three robbers.**
Woohoo! Robbers - 0, Seyes - 1!
**Seyes kicks open the entrance of the bank. The first time his foot goes through the glass, so he then pushes it open. He jumps out and stands in a Superman stance (hands on hips, chest out, chin up). Half a dozen women rush up on him and start screaming his name.**
Well, maybe being me isn't so boring after all. Adventures DO just find me, so I'll never complain! Too bad things will have to change soon... but for now, that will stay a private matter. Some things don't need to be known. Until then, I'll be enjoying life as it is, adventure-found extraordinaire! I've got great friends... well a few... and a wonderful home! Life may be down at times, but don't you know that you never get anywhere without suffering? I learned that lesson early on, and I'll make sure to obey it now and forever. So signing out, this is Seyes!
**The women fill Seyes with kisses as the police chief and mayor come to congratulate him. We view farther and farther. The sun begins to set, and a day of Seyes' life comes to an end.**
~O.o~
Episode 3: Teeny
Meoow...
Boss: A one word vocabulary will severely limit this story, so we recommend you pick up that clicker and change the topic!
Just kidding! Welcome to my life. Being a cat, and being famous isn't too easy, although talking comes in handy. You wouldn't believe how many phone calls I get for job opportunities. After altering the past of space, Egypt, the jungle, Arctic, and caribbean, and becoming President of Bandonia, life has been busy. I spend all my days running around the city telling people about town meetings. Bu they all prefer pinching my cheeks and petting my neck. One of these days I'm just gonna BIT--er, ahem, I...um, one of these days I'm just gonna tell them to please stop.
Teeny: Why hello there, maam. I am President Teeny, and I'd like to help you out and notify you of a--
Woman: Honey! The president is in our yard! He's sooo cute, jes he is! Such a cooty wooty little kitty, awwwww...
Teeny: I, ugh, I insist you please sto--
Ughghghg, anyways. I suppose some of you wonder how I came about. It's rather quite simple. Let's see, where to start before going into a day of my life... I've got it... a day before finding the Copy Rats.
**A rather stupid looking kitty wanders the streets with blissful unawareness.**
Hard to believe, huh? But I still refuse to admit that I was ever even half as stupid as my comrades. You know who I'm referring to...
**He hops into a garbage can, and jumps back out without finding anything worthwhile. He trots along and stops in front of an abandoned restaurant.**
I really don't remember anything from before this day, so my input would be like that of someone of Bero's intellect... none.
**He enters through a broken window, and finds a totally dark room. He follows through a hole in the wall to the back room. He sees two big machines. A weird looking man is attending to one with a wrench in hand.**
Scientist: Mankind has yet to see the scientific capabilities of me! I vow to be the first man to make a perfect "knowledge-stealing machine"! Now to tune the inside before experimenting with a bandicoot-man and a rat.
**The scientist turns to a grocer employee tied up in the corner. The scientist begins to laugh manicially as he enters into one of the machines.**
Don't know why I did it, but I'm glad I did!
**Teeny jumps into the second machine. The tied up grocer then hops up and kicks the mad scientist. He smashes into a button, causing a bright light to flash. The grocer flies back, and when he stands up he finds himself untied.**
Grocer: Sucker!
**The grocer takes off, while the mad scientist falls out of the machine, gets up and wobbles around. Teeny jumps out, sniffs the air, and leaves the restaurant.**
And that is how I was born! I'm not sure what that machine did, but it made me what I am! After discovering my new knowledge, I went back to the restaurant, but I found two machines full of kitty litter and now mad scientist. To this day I don't know what happened to him. I have concluded that the machine merely sucked his knowledge out and gave it to me, because if I were him I would know it. Poor fool, but oh well! He was already mad. So that is what brought me here today, to my presidency of Bandonia, super-hero, and member of the Copy Rats. Now I bet you're thinking..."Teeny's life isn't that hard..." Well I'd actually have to agree, but tell me what you think...
**A beeping sound goes off in an office near the top of a large building. A large swivel chair turns around, and sitting upon it is Teeny with a business jacket on.**
Teeny: Meoow.
Secretary: Yes sir, Mr.Teeny, he will be right up.
So this is my office. Splendid, I know, so don't bother telling me how much you love it. Only tell me if you don't like it. In that case you will be evacuated and rocketed into space. You wouldn't like that, right? Good. Then don't detest my office. Just kidding! People take me so serious all the time, but I've learned to lighten up being around people like Bero and Trepy.
**A door opens, and a shadowy figure walks in.**
Teeny: Why hello there. I hear you have some rather serious business matters...
**The figure walks out of the light...**
Enjin: Of course I do! Poke fixed the CRGeep, thought me and you could go with Guybrush to the space race.
Teeny: Meoow! Er, ahem, I mean "Magnificent".
Enjin: You crack me up!
Teeny: Oh, really?
Enjin: Yeah! Every time I see you my skin cracks up because of my allergies. Take a bath more often, please.
Teeny: Hmmmm, you're right, these frequent tongue baths don't seem to be getting the job done.
**Teeny hops off the desk, and he and Enjin leave his office.**
Ahhhhh, a fun day at the annual space race. People from all over the universe come to attend. And to think, it's not even the biggest race. Little did I know that we'd get up close and personal in this particular race.
**When Teeny and Enjin leave the building, Teeny tells the secretary he's leaving early for the day. They go outside and greet Guybrush who is in the CRGeep.**
Guyrush: Hello there, Teeny. How's your day been?
Teeny: Quite fine. Ordered the drilling of a foreign planet for oil, saved Pluto from combustion, sent the first ship to land on the sun. America on Earth has sent a letter of congrats to us, the Copy Rats, the same people they shipped off Earth.
Guybrush: Wow wow wow, I'm hearing Pre-Guybrush stories. Tell me new things.
Teeny: Nuttin' much, dawg. G-code wody, deuce deuce?
Guybrush: Fo' shizzle my nizzle.
Saving the world isn't easy you know! I run a whole planet now, so it takes a considerable amount of time. I'm only up to 5-day weekends now. That means I spend two days in the office! Isn't that horrible! See, being me isn't that great. It's a tough job! Really.
**The Geep speeds in the air, thanks to new modifications on it, and within an hour they arrive at the speedway.**
Guybrush: We're here.
Enjin: That we are.
Guybrush: That's an oddly familiar statement. I'm sort of missing home. I should probably go visit for a week or two and see how things are going. In fact, you guys should come with me.
Teeny: The race is starting.
Enjin: Eeeeeeeh!
**Enjin steps on the gas, and they go flying forward. They fly off a small hill and land in the middle of several parked cars.**
Enjin: Wheeeew, that was a close one. Wait, what's that stoplight for?
Enjin, Enjin, Enjin. I don't waste my time stopping you from being stupid because it's rather fun to see how you get out of these situations.
3... 2... 1... BANG!
Enjin: Yuh-oh.
Teeny: Enjin, put the pedal to the metal.
Enjin: Can DOOOOOOOOOOOO!
**Several cars behind the CRGeep fly forward and ram it from behind. They look up and see a large banner that says "Space Race 2001".**
Enjin: Aw, the brand new finish!
Guybrush: Ahhh, what are these things?!
Teeny: Automobiles.
Guybrush: I don't like these... audomothiggas!!!!
And once again I must save our idle heroes all by myself. Not that I mind, I have fun!
**Teeny jumps in Enjin's lap and takes the wheel.**
Driver: Hey, watch out!
Teeny: Meoow!
Driver: Ah ahhh ahhhhh!!
**The driver veers right into the side of a large mountain. The enviroment resembles Tatooine, just slightly darker due to the purple skies of Bandonia.**
Enjin: You tell him Teeny!
Guybrush: AHHHHHH!!!
Teeny: What kind of people drive in these races?
Enjin: Rednecks, hillbillies, crackers, Mexicans...oh yeah! Look at this neat little trick I got added on!
**Enjin reaches forward and flips a small switch. The front of the geep leaps up as it accelerates towards maximum velocity.**
Teeny, Enjin, Guybrush: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
So at that speed for 10 laps, we won the race. Thanks much in part to the turbo pack Poke added. Although it looks like Certox and Trepy dropped a firework inside, and the switch Enjin flipped heats the engine, lighting the fuse... and well, you know.
Announcer 1: A complete upset by these new competitors!
Driver 20: Awww, I’m so ashamed!
Announcer 2: I bet he's put the other drivers to shame!
Driver 20: Doh!
After the race, we decided to drive home and evade any further messes. But thanks to that tipped over garbage truck we saw even that wasn't possible. The night approaches, and a day in my life is over! Now go away. Oh, just kidding! Lighten up you! Being me is great, after all. No complaints at all, mostly in part due to my friends. So next time you're in a fanatical mood, yell out "I wanna be like Teeny!"
**As they leave the arena, they fly over a huge hill on the road. Enjin presses play on the CD player. Gorillaz – “Re-Hash” plays**
Enjin + Guybrush: (both sing) "It's a sweeeet sensation! Over the dub! Oh what a situation..."
Teeny: Is that Gorillaz CD stuck in there or something?
Enjin: Oh don't be a party pee-er, Teeny!
Teeny: Oh well, I suppose you're right!
Enjin, Guybrush, + Teeny: “It's the drugs for sober! Over the dub! With the sweetest inspiration, we don't wanna stop…"
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