Bear Dada 2

I wrote this one just for Matt... (picky bastard wanted more about the bear in the bow tie...)

The party, my drugged self had descided, was for the turtle because she was seventy-six. She wore false eyelashes made of spiders’ legs and a wreath of violets around her head, and the caterpillar, who was so much younger and always looking for bits of wisdom to improve her rhetoric, asked what she’d learned in life so far. “Not to eat bad grass,” the turtle said. They were sitting around the tree stump, drinking flat beer out of styrofoam cups, and the bear, who had found the precious liquid scattered among pieces of charred wood, seemed already drunk. “Here here” he lifted a cup, “I’ll sing you a song.. it was sad, it was sad, it was sad when the titanic went down. Men and women lost their lives, even little babies died. It was sad when the titanic went down” “Why are you so gloomy?” asked the caterpillar. “This is a birthday party, not a funeral.” The turtle looked depressed. Her husband had died not long ago and the funeral had been a fiasco. “Cheer up,” the bear said. “Today you’re sixty-seven.” “Seventy-six,” the caterpillar corrected him “ and remember what Lincon said ‘If this is coffee, i shall have tea, If this is tea, i shall have coffee.’ ” The bear and the turtle looked at him blankly, “Could you explicate?” the bear asked. “Oh you know Abe,” the caterpillar said, “He was a nice man, though not always coherent.” But there was nothing to be done; the turtle was depressed the big barroom bags under her eyes sagged, and she got teary. “Looks like rain,” she said, glanceing up at the sky. “Yes,” the caterpillar nodded, “everyone make sure to stay away fromt he swing set because it attracts lightening. If you touch a door handle and its hot, never go into the hall; and if someone catches on fire, wrap them up quickly in a blanket. Don’t go in the water if you hear thunder and try not to be at the top pf any trees. Put out campfires with water and don’t throw your cigars into dry grass. Always watch out for stranger danger and be careful if you’ve had a big meal and feel light-headed and your blood turns into heavy cream. Don’t take any pills the troll gives you.” The ones i had taken earlyer made it impossible to keep awake.