We've all succumbed to the dirty pleasures of the mainstream internet...taking those personlaity tests that only perpetuate the existence of labeling and categorization that seek to file us all away like meaningless papers in the file cabinet of the establishment.

So, as long as we are going to do such things, why not rip the system from the inside and take yet another inane personality test to find out precisely which KMFDM member most resembles us? Keep in your capitalist minds that this is only for fun and not to be used as any kind of psychological device, nor is it to be used to feed your delusions of impersonating KMFDM members.

In all likelihood, it's probably really inaccurate. But take it anyway. You're here after after all.

Go ahead! RIP MY SYSTEM!!!!

1. Your hair is....

Short and/or spiky
Brown and scruffy
Dark/ black and longish
Blonde
Kinda icky
Shaved or mohawk
Long and disheveled
Umm...Hair?

2. People say you are:

Freaky
Shy
Rebellious
Sleezy
That other guy
Giving them nightmares
Friendly
German
Pale

3. Your hobby most likely is:

Vodka
Waving your middle finger
Creative stuff
Heckling society
Meat
I can only have one hobby?

4. The job that fits you most is:

Office Assistant
Stripper
Artist
Butcher/Circus Performer
Pimp/Lounge Singer
Public Speaker or Radical Politician
Poet

5. If you are the center of attention, you:

Smile in a deranged manner
Like to get everyone riled up
Give everyone some tongue
Bashfully scurry away
Roll around looking sweaty
Enjoy it, you don't mind.
Are too absorbed in whatever you are
doing at the time to notice
Creep around menacingly with an icy stare

6. Word that best describes you:

Decay
Mysterious
Codpiece
Intimidating
Transient
Ringleader
Deutsche
Scary

7. Pick a song:

Godlike
Megalomaniac
Light
Juke Joint Jezebel
Torture
Anarchy
Drug Against War
DIY

8. The sound that best relates to you:

Bark
Growl
Pluck
Screeee
Bleep
Slurp

9. What does KMFDM stand for?

Kinda Musically Fragmented Destiny Mostly
Kenophobic Misandronists Facilitating Deviated Morals
Keen Moratorium For Defunct Majority
Katharsis Manifesting Fine Daguerreotype Magic
Kinky Malignantly Freaky Deutsche Men
Knavish Maniacal Fellow Decrying Monotony

10. If you were stuck in a dark basement surrounded by vapid blonde pop star wannabies
threatening to suck out your brain cells with a bendy straw, the first object you would grab to defend
yourself would be:

A machine gun. Die you bimbos!
Raw hamburger
Hilfe! Jemand verstecken mich!!!!
My boot. Let's see if they're crunchy.
A blowtorch. I smell barbecue.
A laser pistol. Let's fry some Britney clones!

BACK TO THE PLAYGROUND