Was This What It Was For?

Was this what it was for?
This heart break,
This Hell,
This Silent kill.
The Hours of the old Grandfather clock;
12 Stand still
And Silent.
My own heart’s Will wishes for the Thrill,
The Pain and the Desire
For a smooth cutting Edge.
6 feet under in my own mind
My soul nowhere to find,
Beneath the Graveyard’s tombstones.
I couldn’t find Jesus or the Devil
No one to call my Lover
Or my Child.
Just an empty bullet shell.