There was a young man from Savannah,
Who met his end in a curious manner.
He whittled a hole
In a telephone pole
And electrified his banana.

A thrifty old man named McEwing
Inquired, "Why be bothered with screwing?
It's safer and cleaner
To finger your wiener,
And besides you can see what you're doing."

There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner.
At a quarter to nine
They sat down to dine;
And at a quarter to ten it was in her.

There was a young lady of Clewer
Who was riding a bike, and it threw her.
A man saw her there
With her legs in the air,
And seized the occasion to screw her.

We all know that tampons are spongy
And often times get rather grungy
But why they have strings
Among other things
Is so that the crabs can all bungee.

"You, choirboy!" ordered the pastor
"Bend over the pew for your Master!"
He said with a moan
As he slipped him a bone.
"Now just wag your tail a bit faster!"

Goldilocks has lots of guys
Pinnochio's one, I'm advised!
She sits on the puppet
And sticks his nose right up it
And makes the poor fellow tell lies!

Said the Abbot, "I'm not pleased one bit,
Brother Ambrose; that you should submit
Your signed IOU
In lieu of a ewe -
I just won't accept that sheep chit."

A hard-headed cabby named Peter
Was asked by a fare if he'd eat her.
He said, "It's not free.
I will only agree
To go down while I'm running the meter."

There was a young gigolo named Bruno
Who said, "Screwing's one thing I do know.
While women are fine,
And sheep are divine,
Lama's are numero uno!"

There once was a barmaid named Gale
On whose breasts was the menu for ale
But since she was kind
For the sake of the blind
On her ass it was printed in Braille.

Once there was a man from Boston
Who took a ride in his Austin
He had room for his ass
a gallon of gas
but his balls hung out and he lost them.

There once was pervert named Manny
who stuck his long prick up his fanny.
Oh! What's this shouting about?
Seems he can't get it out.
He can't shit, he can't piss. It's uncanny!

Said a horny young girl from Milpitas,
"My favorite sport is coitus."
But a fullback from State
Made her period late,
And now she has athlete's fetus.

There once was a man from Peru
Who was desperately hanging out for a screw.
He picked up a moll
And rammed home his pole
Then said, "Jesus, that was Long overdue."