Wednesday, January 19    

It's the single life for me
I had to go to the grocery store last night. As you may already know, I hate going to the grocery store. It is a hell from which there is no return. Either you're trapped behind by the slow-moving mom with 300 kids whining for candy or you're clipped by the desperate dad who wants to get in and out as quickly as humanly possible. You know the guy -- he just grabs whatever lettuce is on top, without stopping to inspect it and every other head on the pile before making the ultimate decision. It can be hard to buy lettuce, people. I should know, I had to inspect a lot of produce before I could make my purchase. When I wheeled my squeaky cart up to the line, loaded down with a week's worth of groceries, I realized I hardly had any food at all. In fact, I had pathetic single girl's shopping cart. Luckily, I wasn't buying any diet soda or I would have been a miserable stereotype.

After that, my night was essentially ruined. So, fuck it, I went all the way when I got home. Yeah, that's right, I exercised. (Have you ever tried to bike to Bob Dylan? It was fucking surreal. But a good workout.) Then, to finish off the night of torment, I cooked. I hate cooking. In fact, I think I hate shopping because I know it eventually leads to the cooking. The only good thing about cooking is that it eventually leads to the eating. Which, really, along with "having sex" and "sleeping," is the only reason to continue to get up in the morning.

  posted @ 8:33 AM |