Banshee: Okay guys n'gals. Standard disclaimers apply. I don't own Final Fantasy VIII or any of it's characters. I'm not makin' any money offa this, so just enjoy.

Plot Sketch and Warnings: YAOI, that's boy/boy relationships, in case you weren't sure. This fic is the sequel to "Half a Moment", and is therefore, you guessed it, Seifer/Irvine. It is the second of three Seifer/Irvine fics. Some graphic language, but no other warnings of note except, if you haven't read "half a moment" this fic will likely make little or no sense, and oh yeah, it's sorta angsty, but heck, this is me who's writing it so, bleh.
After Seifer and Irvine have their one night stand, they each try to figure out how to move on, but a little yellow birdie gets together with her other little birdie friends, and they butt in a little.

The cafeteria was always a little louder when Selphie and Zell were there. They sat eating lunch with their friends. Squall and Rinoa, Quistis and Nida, Irvine--hey, where was Irvine anyway? He was late for a lot of things in life, but lunch certainly wasn’t one of them, and they’d been so preoccupied with one another that they hadn’t even noticed.
“You’re coming to help me with the Sunset Ball decorations, right Zell?” Selphie asked in her, ‘you’d better’ tone.
“ ‘course I am Selph! You can count on me!” Zell answered happily in his ‘the things I do for love’ tone as he groaned internally. He loved Selphie, and he loved a happy Selphie even more, but she was such a perfectionist when it came to decorating. “Be a few minutes late ‘cause I gotta help Quisty, but I’ll definitely be there.”
“Yay!” Selphie cheered, and everyone else conveniently thought up other things they absolutely had to do instead of joining the decorating committee.
“Hey, anybody seen Irvy today?” Selphie asked.
Nobody had.
“I’ll check in on him on my way to Cid’s office,” Squall said. ‘If he’s sick it would be just like him to not tell anyone,’ he thought.
“Really?” Selphie asked.
“It’s on the way,” Squall said blandly. ‘Sort of.’ “He needs to be healthy if he gets called for a mission. I’ll drag him to the infirmary.”
That was the closest thing Squall got to an admission of concern for anyone but Rinoa. And as far as everyone was concerned, it was good enough.
After Squall had left, Fujin and Raijin entered, looked around, and decided to ask if anyone had seen Seifer.
“SEIFER?” Fujin inquired. “We haven’t seen him all day, ya know,” Raijin added.
“Him too? Maybe something’s going around,” Zell commented.
“WHO?” Fujin asked.
“Irvine is M.I.A. Squall thinks he might be sick. He’s checking on him now,” Nida explained.
Fujin and Raijin exchanged a strange smile.
“FINE,” Fujin said.
“Yeah, Fuj is right. They’re probably both fine, ya know. Worrying over nothing, ya know. Thanks,” Raijin said before the pair exchanged the knowing smirk again and left the cafeteria.
“What was that about?” Quistis wondered.

Knock. Knock.
“Go away,” Irvine growled. It wasn’t like him, but he just wanted to be left alone.
“Open the door,” Squall said.
“No. Go the fuck away Squall. Leave me alone,” Irvine spat out. He didn’t need this now.
With a sigh, Squall pulled out a universal key card.
“I’m coming in,” he stated blankly before swiping it and opening the door.
His eyes widened. He hadn’t been prepared to see the cowboy curled up in fetal position, hugging his knees to his chest with the blankets only half thrown over his naked form.
“Are you sick?” Squall bit out. ‘Shit, something’s wrong. I suck at this stuff.’
“No,” Irvine grumbled as he sat up, covering himself up and glaring at Squall. “So just leave me be.”
His eyes were bloodshot and there were tearstains down his cheeks. Even Squall couldn’t miss the fact that he’d been crying. He looked almost raw from it.
“Why weren’t you at lunch?”
“Because I was here.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“None of your business.”

When he saw Selphie later, Squall said, “he’s not sick,” but the scowl told her there was definitely something wrong.
“So what…”
“I don’t know! He was crying. I suck at that stuff.”

Seifer had had every intention of going on with life as previously scheduled, but he thought he’d be sick if he moved from his seat by the window, so he didn’t bother until he heard a knock on the door.
“Hey Fuj, what’s up?” he asked, but Fujin always knew when something was bothering him.
“IRVINE?” she aksed. Seifer fought back the wave of nausea as he let her inside. “Hyne, Fujin, I love him so much,” he whispered shakily.
He told her everything--that he’d run into Irvine on the way to the cafeteria yesterday, that they…had sex, that waking up in his arms felt so right, that Irvine was so gentle, that…everything. But Irvine didn’t love him. Of course he told her everything, she was Fujin, and Fujin was strong, and Fujin knew him better than anyone else. She wouldn’t tell anyone. She’d never tell. Even if he cried, she’d never tell,if he even could cry. Because she was Fujin, and she was strong enough for both of them. He didn’t have to pretend to be anything other than what he was for her. Raijin too--well, he couldn’t really talk to Raijin like he could to Fujin, but he didn’t have to be anything special for either of them. Raijin and Fujin liked him for who he was, faults and all. And he liked them too, up to and including all of their little quirks. That’s what friendship was, he figured, or what it ought to be.
So, no problem, he had friendship down; love was a whole nother story, especially of the unrequited variety. Irvine was a person, not a sweater, he couldn’t just take him.
“It hurts, Fujin, it really, really hurts,” he whispered. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”
“Follow your dreams,” she reminded him, point blank. She’d told him that before.
‘As long as you follow your dreams, I’ll be by your side. I promise,’ she’d said. And he remembered.
Seifer nodded. ‘So how do I make him love me back?’ he wondered.

It had taken half the day, but Selphie managed to drag Irvine out of his room in time to meet everyone in the cafeteria for dinner, though convincing him to be happy about it was a whole other issue. He was depressed. It didn’t take a genius to see it. He hardly spoke, so flirting was pretty much out of the question. Rinoa even said something rather suggestive to try to get a reaction, but he just said “that’s nice” and went back to shoving corn around his plate with his fork in no deliberate fashion—no lines, no circles, no little corn guns. He always played with his food, but today he was just sort of shoving it around the plate as he stared blankly and leaned his head on his left hand.
“I can’t take it anymore!” Zell finally erupted. “Irvine, just tell us what’s wrong and let us help you already! This moping around is driving me crazy!”
Irvine stood up, tipping his hat at the group.
“No offense guys, but being around all the happy couples right now isn’t doing anything for my mood. I appreciate the concern, really, but it’s none of your damn business. Evenin’.”
As he started his way from the table, a hard slap across the face stopped him as he met a one-eyed glare.
“Fujin,” he said flatly after a startled pause. The cafeteria had gotten suddenly very quiet.
“ASSHOLE!” she growled.
He’d seen Fujin angry before, but she’d never cursed at him. ‘Damn. Well ain’t that just the perfect end to a perfect day,’ he thought.
“I’d ask why you’re so pissed at me, but I doubt I’d get a satisfactory answer out of you,” he said coldly.
“We know what you did to Seifer, ya know,” Raijin said from about a step behind Fujin’s right shoulder.
“Don’t you mean with Seifer?” Irvine sneered. “And anyway, it’s none of your damn business. Just leave me be.”
“NEVER FORGIVE!” Fujin informed him bitterly. “Me? How the fuck is it my fault!?! He left! HE did! Not me. Do you understand, you bitch? He left!…and I let him go,” his voice started as a yell, but trailed off to a faltering whisper. “ I gave him everything, and he left. And I’m the asshole? Just leave me the fuck alone.”
He stormed out of the cafeteria, and so hasty was his retreat that he bumped right into Seifer in the doorway.
“…hi,” Seifer managed weakly. “…hi. Excuse me,” Irvine returned as he brushed past.
It just clicked, and so, Selphie grabbed Fujin by the arm and dragged her of. “Let’s talk,” she said. “Ah…somewhere else.”
Rinoa saw the look the two boys gave one another and jumped up, saying, “me too!” and followed the other two girls. She, at least, knew about Seifer, but Irvine was a bit of a surprise. ‘Because he flirts so much,’ she thought.
“What was that all about?” Zell asked finally.
“No idea,” Squall said. ‘But something’s definitely going on with Seifer and Irvine. What could it be?’ he wondered silently.
Nida bit his lip thoughtfully. He could swear…it seemed as if… “I think they had sex,” he blurted out after a pause.
Zell laughed unexpectedly at that hypothesis.
“That’s ridiculous,” Squall agreed.
“Irvine likes girls too much,” Quistis told her boyfriend.
“Or claims to,” Nida said thoughtfully. “Nida, come on. Be serious,” she told him. “I don’t think I’m imagining this, Quis. And I think Selphie and Rinoa would agree with me.”

“Seifter and Irvine slept together, didn’t’ they, Fujin?” Selphie asked, serious for once. She’d find a way to get them together if it killed her, if what she suspected was true.
“YES.” Fujin nodded.
“That’s great!” Rinoa cheered, clapping her hands together. “Seifer will finally have a boyfriend!”
“Wohoo! Alright! A plan!” Selphie agreed.
“NOT EASY,” Fujin reminded them.
It was true. It seemed as if somewhere along the line, the two boys had gotten their wires crossed.
Seifer had flat out admitted it, and Selphie knew Irvine better than anyone. He was definitely in love…so what was wrong with a little…divine intervention? The girls formulated their plan.
“SEIFER HATE.” “Yeah, Irvine’s not gonna be pleased with us either, after this, but they’ll thank us eventually,” Selphie said. “Alrighty! Phase one! Rinny?”
“I’ll go talk to Squall now!” Rinoa giggled.

“Why do you want to know what time the second floor classroom gets locked up?” Squall asked as Rinoa bounced around, begging for the information.
“You wanna see Irvine not depressed anymore, right?” she said.
“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”
“Squaaalllll, just trust me! We have a plan!” “Now I know I’m going to regret this.” “Squall!” Squall smiled slightly. He really loved the way she pouted when he teased her, not that he was much good at teasing, but still. Of course, this was a strange request, even coming from her, and if Selphie was involved…the thought made him cringe internally. What the hell was Fujin thinking, going along with these two. Desperate times call for desperate measures? Anything for Seifer, most likely.
“Six fifteen,” he answered flatly, knowing that his primary motivation was ‘anything for Rinoa,’ but deciding that he didn’t care. He’d put Selphie in charge once before and it all worked out fine. Besides, he reasoned, a depressed Irvine was even more annoying than a flirty one, if that was possible.
“Rinoa, you are going to tell me what Seifer has to do with this, aren’t you?”
“Oh! Right! Weeelllll….you remember me telling you that Seifer and I were together for a bit, but it didn’t work out, right?”
Squall nodded, not liking the reminder, but wondering where this was going, and hoping it was a short explanation.
“Did I ever tell you why it didn’t work out?”
“…no.”
“Well, Seifer and I had a little too much in common…including out taste in men.”
It took a moment for that to register before Squall’s eyes widened. Of all the people…he would have never guessed that Seifer was gay...and then he remembered lunchtime.
“Don’t tell me Nida was right!” he blurted out, almost wanting to laugh at the sheer silliness of it all.
. “What’s Nida got to do with anything?” Rinoa asked, taking her turn at being confused.
“He has a theory that Irvine and Seifer…um…” Squall gulped at the uncomfortable topic, especially considering that he and Rinoa, well, hadn’t yet…it was just that Squall was…ever so slightly…well, terrified. “…that they, um…h-had…”
‘This should not be so difficult to say,’ he told himself.
“Sex?” Rinoa offered easily.
“Wh…yeah.”
“They did. Don’t worry Squall, our plan is foolproof!” Rinoa told him.
“I’m serious Rinoa. I don’t want to know.”
“Good, because I’m not telling! Later!”
Rinoa winked, grinned, and began to head off before bouncing back, giving him a kiss on the cheek and closing the door on her way out.

She met Selphie and Fujin in the training center. “On to phase two!” she beamed as she slapped Selphie upside the head to awaken her from a sleep spell.
“Huh? Wha-? Yay!”

“SIX FOURTEEN,” Fujin reminded Selphie. The girl was infamous for being late, and that just wouldn’t do.
“I promise!” Selphie said. “Don’t worry! I’ll have him there if I have to hog tie him!” she giggled, but Fujin apparently didn’t understand cowboy humor.

“COME!” Fujin told him. “IMPORTANT.”
“What is this about Fujin?”
“SECRET. COME. NOW!” Fujin grabbed Seifer’s wrist in an attempt to drag him out the door. If he dug his heels in, he wouldn’t budge; they both knew it. But Fujin ws counting on the fact that he wouldn’t.
He sighed and followed. “Only for you Fuj. But this better be good.”

“Irvy! Come on! Pleeaaasssseeeeee!” Selphie begged as she jumped up and down. “I need your help!”
Irvine smiled weakly and got up, putting his hat on.
“Alright Sephie, but only because it’s you. Let’s go and get whatever it is you need done and over with, alright?”

“FORGOT. WAIT HERE. BE RIGHT BACK,” Fujin said as she snuck away, heading to the second floor deck where she would meet Selphie. She checked her watch.

“Gah! I’m such a bubblehead! I forgot the decorations! Hey, wait in her for me, huh Irvy?” Selphie said, shoving him into the classroom at exactly the right moment as the door locked behind him.
“Hey Sephie,” Irvine began before realizing the door was locked. “Shit!” he cursed under his breath.
Ripples of tension crawled up Seifer’s spine. ‘I’m gonna kill her!’ he thought angrily. “Looks like we’ve been set up,” he said, all due frustration in his voice.
Irvine spun around with a start. “Seifer!”
“In the flesh,” Seifer said, doing his best to sound normal and callous with the fresh wave of nausea building in his stomach. But Irvine heard it, just the faintest tremor in his voice.
“You okay?” he asked, not bothering to mask a bit of concern. “You look a little pale. Got a problem with, ya know, closed in spaces, or somethin’?” Irvine stopped talking when he realized he was about to pull a Zell and start babbling to fill the empty space that seemed to come with awkward silence, silence that was there, right under the surface, and threatened to swallow him when he stopped talking.
“Claustrophobia?”
“Yeah.”
“No.”
“Then what…”
“Listen, apparently they think we should talk, or something, so we’re just going to have to deal with being stuck here until they decided to let us out. You don’t have to say anything,” Seifer told him.
“…d’ya wanna…play some triple triad…ya know…to pass the time? You play, right?” Irvine asked awkwardly.
“I guess so,” Seifer said, relieved that Irvine didn’t suggest what he thought he would. The guy did have a reputation, after all. But…why didn’t he suggest it? ‘Was I that bad?’ Seifer couldn’t help but wonder self-consciously as he stared at his cards, trying to pick with some amount of forethought.
They played a few games in silence, before Irvine couldn’t take it anymore.
“You didn’t have to leave so early, you know,” he said quietly.
Seifer just stared at him for a long moment.
“Isn’t that the proper etiquitte for a one-night stand?” he asked, a little bitterly. “You’re the expert, aren’t you, so I figure you’d know.”
‘Ouch, that stung. Did he have to throw it in my face like that though?’ Irvine thought as he grimaced a bit.
“Well, I…I suppose it is…looks like you beat me again,” he said, gesturing at the board. But it sounded as if cards were the last thing he was talking about.
Silence again. Another two rounds, and Irvine was starting to run out of cards. He’d always been terrible at this game.
“Is that what it was? A one-night stand, that is,” he asked finally.
“I thought that’s what you wanted,” Seifer answered blankly, never looking up from the game, but taking longer than necessary to decide on his next move.
“I wanted…to be with you,” Irvine forced out.
Now Seifer looked up, a little bit of surprise in his eyes, but Irvine was staing at the cards in his shaking hands. ‘Never been good at pressure,’ the cowboy thought. ‘Even back then, with Matron…I choked then too. I bet Seifer never chokes.’
“Is that the same thing? But even now, I,…it just hurts more is all. I want to ask “why did you leave me?” but I know it was just that one time, so I don’t have any right. I wouldn’t take it back though. I’m glad we did what we did—I am. Even though we can never go back, I’m glad because…because…because I…because you gave me half a moment when the world made sense. Because I really needed that half a moment to remind myself that I’m alive, that I haven’t been completely forgotten. But I stil lwish it could be different, less fleeting. You’re probably thinking, ‘shit, Kinneas, where’s your pride?’ or something about me being a chicken, I know I am, but…”
“I’m the chicken,” Seifer interrupted, gulping as he watched Irvine shake, tears carving shining valleys down his cheeks as he tried to hid his face in the shadow of his hat, the words, ‘I wanted to be with you’ echoing through Seifer’s mind on a million different levels of meaning.
“Irvine I…I loveyou,” he spit the words out quickly, knowing that any pause would make him second guess himself and not say them at all. “I left because I thought…I mean, given your reputation…”
Irvine looked up, finally understanding their mistake. “You thought I was only after your body,” he said gravely. “Well, I suppose that’s not really a surprise. But I’ve changed, Seifer. That Ultimecia mess has changed me. And realizing Selphie wasn’t quite my type, that changed me too. But nobody wants to see that. They just keep seeing flirty ol’ Irvine, Irvine who knows guns and women. It’s all they want to see, so I just go with it. Pretend that’s who I still am, all I am. Just this crazy, fun-lovin’ cowboy who’ll never fall in love. They think I’m incapable of it, or something, and apparently so do you. But, I’m only human, Seifer. I have a heart. Waking up without you, lying there pretending to be asleep when you snuck out of my life…” he angrily wiped a few tears away, obviously berating himself for crying at all. “I just wanted to die.” He paused. “I know it’s really my own fault for not being straight with you. But even if I told you, would you have believed it out of a guy like me? So I tried to show you with my lips, and with my body. I let you inside of me, but you still didn’t understand.”
“I…” Seifter’s mind was swimming with the new information. And Irvine, poor Irvine was sitting there shaking and crying. He wanted to jump up and hold him until he stopped, but now was not the right time. They had to get the air clear on…well…everything, first. “Hyne, Irvine, how could I? You’re the first man I ever…you know. I just thought that was what it was like.”
“But you said…” Irvine was startled by this discovery.
“I lied.”
“So…where does that leave us?”
Seifer reached up and brushed the tears from Irvine’s eyes. “I have no idea. I just…I don’t want to make you cry anymore.”
“I don’t really feel like playing anymore,” Irvine said, and again, it seemed as if he was talking about more than just cards.
“Seifer got up out of his chair and quickly pulled Irvine into his arms. He slunk down, his back resting against the desk. “Let’s just sit here then,” he said, realizing the action was pure impulse. He just needed to hold him.
A little more unsurely, he flipped Irvine’s hat off, resting it on the desk behind him, and carefully tugged at the hair tie, using both hands and looking over his shoulder. Finally, it came undone. Irvine rested his head on Seifer’s shoulder as Seifer ran his fingers through the long sea-scented hair of the man he loved.
‘He likes my hair,’ Irvine grinned into Seifer’s shoulder as the blonde fiddled with it absently, trying to think things through.
‘So,’ Seifer thought. ‘Gay. I guess that’s okay, right? As long as I get to be with Irvine like this. But…what about tomorrow, and the day after? Am I ready for that? I’ve got to be, right? I’ve as good as told him I would be. We’ll just take it slow with that whole public displays of affection thing. That’ll be fine,’ he told himself.
He could feel the even breathing against his chest. ‘Asleep. My cowboy. He must have been really tired.’
He leaned his head back on the desk and sat like this, not thinking, for a long time, before he heard a click. Regretfully, he shook Irvine’s shoulder.
“Huh?” Irvine asked blearily, wondering how long he’d been asleep.
“Door’s unlocked. Come on, my ass is getting numb,” Seifer said.
Irvine snickered. “Right, sorry. Back to the dorms then.” He collected his hat and hair tie and they were off, both wondering what came next, but knowing, each in his own way, that they looked forward to it.

~The End(second of three)~