6) CONVESATIONS AND CONFLICTS

Her eyes fluttered open and began to focus on the shapes around her. She remembered where she was after a few seconds of confusion. The lodging house… and the girl Christi… Jack…She stopped herself from thinking about him and swung her legs off the bed, her stomach getting in the way. She gently touched her stomach with her fingertips, still awed by the fact that she was capable of such a miracle. Her dark brown hands rubbed the mound tenderly. Estha began to inspect her hands then. . The moon had risen and its rays lighted the room and her hands very well. 

She turned them over and over trying to see all her pores, the lines in her hands, her fingerprints and investigating the dark brown cast of her skin. Then she thought, “ I wonder if it will have hands like me or if they will be like …”. She stopped thinking. It was too painful, the memories.

She looked up from her reminisces and began to think about the young and motley crew of young boys that had seemed to pour into the lodging house earlier that night, occupying every space. When she had first arrived, they would all pass, smile at her and attempt to get her to talk, then depending on their level of persistence, would eventually give up and join their friends in loud card games and raucous conversation.

“Boys!” she thought, and with that word she fell into a deeper digression. “ Will it be a boy or girl?” she would rather a boy, girls were less able to take care of themselves. A boy could fend for himself, fight for himself, and could always fit into the crowd. Girls could not. They were always vulnerable, always attracting attention no matter what they tried to do. She stopped herself from being enveloped in a thick fog of self-pity.

She looked at her surroundings. Without the cufufle (i.e. barbadian word meaning big, confusing crowd of anything) of boys in every nook and cranny of the room she could see that the lodging house was large enough to house the boys but it was very run down. The large bunkroom and the downstairs hall ensured that they could live in relative abandon of the shallow wants of the rest of the world. It reminded her of her island home, chattel houses with dirt floors and cuss-cuss grass being used for everything from mats to beds. It was a simple existence. The newsies seemed to live from penny to penny, but not caring about their supposedly deprived situation. They were happy just to be alive and to have one another. She had learned from Jack that all the boys there were more or less parentless if not family less. They considered the other newsies their family. However she wondered if they ever regretted not having a family or a mother to tuck them in at night.

“ Hey there” a new male voice with a very prominent New Yorker accent broke through her thoughts. She looked up. He was dressed like a newsie and appeared to be was one of the older guys, about her age. He had dark hair and a really friendly smile. He also did not seem to find it odd to find a pregnant girl he had never met before sitting in one of his friends’ beds. He just put his hand out to her. “ My name is Racetrack Higgins. Nice ta meet you. What’s your name?”

“Hi, I’m Estha”, she could not help but return his smile. He sat down in the chair next to her. She began to speak without thinking in her natural Bajan dialect “ I jus get here today. Me an a girl name Christi. De others went to a place called Medda’s to see a show. I jus wake up from sleeping a few minutes ago.”

Racetrack laughed cheerfully. To her his laugh seemed so happy, like the other boys who lived there. He seemed to be amused at something she had said. Actually he was amused by everything she had said, including how she has said it. The only thing he had understood really was something about a girl “ Christi and something about Medda’s place. After a few seconds of pondering he realised what she had meant. “ I knew that they would decide to go see Medda on a day I went to the tracks. I never get to go to Medda’s anymore. But it saves me from having to break the poor woman’s heart every time I leave. She’s in love with me ya know?”

Estha’s eyes opened wide with shocked. From what she had heard from the boys, Medda was a very grown woman who ran the neighbourhood variety show. She did not expect that she would be in love with such a young guy.

Racetrack saw the amazed look on her face and could not stop himself from laughing out loud. A new voice spoke up from in the room. It still seemed to be a bit drowsy but it was distinctly annoyed. “ Can’t you people have respect for the semi conscious people up here?” a female voice with a curious drawl spoke. At second though it was quite annoyed actually.

Estha rose from her bed and walked towards the voice. “Hi, Christi ain it? Sorry bout dat. I know dat you mus be real tired after all you went truw.” The girl looked up at her with curious brownish green eyes. Then a huge grin broke out on her face.

“Say you’re not from around here are ya? I ain’t ever heard anybody with talk like that before. Even those nice guys who talk pretty weird don’t sound like you. Well I’m not from round here either.” She smiled brightly, her whole face immediately lighting up with that one action. “ I’m from Texas.” She said proudly.

Estha looked at the girl, an odd look on her face, then she proceeded to burst out laughing. It was the laugh which Jack had experienced. It caught on like quick fire and soon all three of them were laughing their hearts out. Estha had to clutch the end of the bed in order to keep herself standing. Then, the laughter began to fade away and the room finally became quiet.

Racetrack looked towards Estha again. “ By the way, I was only joking bout Medda. She’s great and all but she’s just a friend to us Newsies.”

Estha’s smiled up at him. She nodded. “ I am sometimes a little naïve, but don worry, I understand.” She glanced back over at Christi, whose face was still heavily bruised and scratched. She felt strangely protective towards her now, curious as to what had happened to this poor girl before she found her to put that dim look in her eyes. She felt like there was a need to protect this younger girl from harm. Then she stopped herself.

*This pregnancy is making feel way too mothering* she thought to herself, sneering inwardly at her lack of emotional control. Then she opened her mouth to speak to Christi, this time with her slight, proper British accent in place .“You’re right I’m not from around here. I’m from someplace far away from here. But first tell me about you” she said still smiling with a friendly, open look on her face.

As quickly as Christi had begun smiling, she stopped. The light faded quickly from her eyes. Talking about her past? That was probably one of the most uncomfortable things she could think of. She almost glared at Estha, subconsciously, of course. Christi liked this girl, Estha. She reminded her of .... No, she wouldn't think about that. Christi shook her head and tried to smile at the two standing next to her.

"Well gosh, there aint much to say 'bout me. I'm just a lost girl from outta town looking for..." She stopped. What was she looking for in this city? REALLY looking for? Not just a place to stay and some food, but why was she even here? Christi shook her head and continued, "...looking for some friends. And I think I've found some here with you... what'cha call yerselves.. Newsies." Christi smiled again, as if trying to reassure everyone that she was telling the truth. Only she knew she wasn't. Estha noticed how strangely she was acting, and was just about to change the subject when...

"LOOK, I SAID I WAS SICK OF YOU, SO JUST BACK OFF ALREADY!" a loud voice thundered from downstairs. Estha, Christi, and Racetrack all looked at each other curiously.

"Sounds like Skittery," Racetrack mumbled. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he started making his way downstairs. Estha and Christi looked at each other with raised eyebrows, and silently agreed to follow Race downstairs. Christi looked dizzy when she first stood up, but was able to follow Estha slowly. After walking about halfway down the stairs, a strange sight met their eyes....

"YOU THREATINING ME, YOU BLASTED IDIOT?" Kid Blink yelled irritatedly as he shoved Skittery almost halfway across the room.

"NO, I JUST WANT YOU TO BACK THE HECK OFF! YOU'VE BEEN RATTLIN' MY LAST NERVE ALL NIGHT!" Skittery screamed back violently, shoving Kid equally hard.

Estha looked over to see Jack standing in the crowd of Newsies looking just as bewildered as the rest of the crew. She made up her mind to walk the rest of the way down the stairs when she saw Christi from the corner of her eye. Estha was shocked to see Christi clutching the rail as tightly as she could, with her mouth clamped tight and tears welling up in her eyes. Below, Skittery and Kid Blink's rage had erupted into an all-out fistfight.

"Christi?" Estha questioned loudly, "Are you alright? What is the matter with you?" Christi blinked and the tears ran down her cheeks. She looked over at Estha, almost like she was in a trance.

"It's all happening again, Shellie, it's all happening again," Christi broke into sobs and collapsed on the stairs. Below, the fistfight ended abruptly.

"Christi?" Kid Blink shouted shoving all the boys out of the way. Skittery shoved Blink as he, too, pushed through the crowd of boys. Skittery got to the stairs first, and knelt down next to Estha, who was thoroughly confused. Who was Shellie, and why had Christi called her that?

~~*~~

5 / Bulma’s Hideout / 7