This Is My Page Dedicated To All Rednecks Of This Great World Of Ours! So Why Don't you Just com' on in, roll up your sleeve,show off your farmer tan, grab a beer and sit yur ass down riht' here!
What a redneck isn't! Most folk out there, sittin on their high and mighty social horse feel that they can group folks they see as uncultured or undesireable as rednecks. This shows their lack of knowledge and ignorance.For example, these people interchange characteristics of white trash and rednecks. I will admit that it might be possible for a redenck to be also white trash, but this is not to be taken for granted. And some characteristics are attributed to rednecks that no longer apply or might have never applied. I will attempt to rectify this.
1. White trash, or more correctly, trailer-trash live in trailers...not rednecks. We more commonly inhabit run-down, partially constructed homes or log cabins.
2. Rednecks are not lazy, incompitent, laggards. Those incorrectly grouped with us that do fit this descriptions are more commonly called "welfare-trash". It must be noted that being on welfare does not automatically make one trash, merely down and out and nothing to be ashamed of. Rednecks and white-trash are the ones that built this country(and that aint figurative).
3. The inbred stereo-type is old and over used and can no longer be considered humorous or accurate. Those that use this description have confused us with "European Blue-Bloods"(now there's some trees that never branched! They didn't call each other cousin for the hell of it!!!)
4. Rednecks are not stupid. In the bountiful ignorance of most city folk, they have confused ignorance with stupidity and proven my point themselves. There are old rednecks in these hills that never went past the second grade that have more knowledge in the head than most of those acedimic boobs that profess to be "educated". Once had some of these fellers poken fun at me for miss using an economic term, but when I asked them a question, damned if any one of'em knew how much hardener to add to a golf ball sized helpin of body puddy!! Guess they must'a just been stupid?? hehe
5. Hell yea we like to drink beer, but excuse us if we don't waste our hard earned money on scotch and brandy to just piss it away!
Redneck Computer Lingo
"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
Your Might Be A Redneck
If...
...the original color of your car in anybody’s guess
...all the holes in your jeans came from Buckshot and barbed wire fences
...you’ve ever lost your gas and brake pedals under fast-food wrappers *Jeff's truck*
...you painted your truck camouflage and now you can’t find it *Chad's problem*
...your truck won’t fit through the bank’s drive-thru
...you use a screwdriver to start your pick-up
...your CB antenna slaps the stoplights when you go through town
...you use speed bumps to try to get your truck airborne
...you can identify your friends by the sounds of their mufflers
...your family tree does not fork
...Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."
...You've ever had to turn your truck around because of bridge clearance
restrictions.
...Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.
...You've ever rolled your riding lawn mower.
...You cried the day your son tapped his first keg.
...The hood of your truck is higher than the roof of your house.
...Your idea of a big Saturday night is drinking beer and burning trash.
...Your new sofa was on a curb in another part of town yesterday.
...There is a puddle in your driveway year-round.
...Your car wakes people up when you drive down the street.
...You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
...You run out of beer and your friends go home.
...You've ever hit a deer with your car... deliberately.
...You've totaled every car you've owned.
...There are more than 4 hats in the rear window of your car.
...The tires on your car don't fit under your fenders.
...People hear your car a long time before they see it.
...You think the last four words of the National Anthem are "Gentlemen, start
your engines!"
...Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
...You've ever thrown a tailgate party at a tractor pull.
...You fix holes in your truck with duct tape.*Laurie would try this one!*
...Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
...You regularly answer the question "What have you been doing lately?" with
"Partying."
...You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
...Your truck can be heard 2 miles away.
...You think the stock market has a fence around it.
...The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
...You use the term `over yonder' more than once a month.
...The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!",
"HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin'?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck
too!)
...You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
...The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.*Okay here's ME*
...You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt
and thermal underwear.
...You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below
the shirt sleeve...
...You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
...The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
...Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.
...If you say 'wont' instead of 'want'
...your truck sits so high that you can see in a second floor window.
10 REASONS REDNECKS RULE 1.WE LIVE ON FARMS.
2.WE LISTEN TO COUNTRY AND SOUTHERN ROCK MUSIC.
3.WE LOVE DRIVIN TRACTORS DOWN THE ROADS.
4.WE LIKE OUR TRUCKS BIG AND LOUD.
5.WE ARE PROUD OF THE CONFEDERATE FLAG.
6.WE LIKE FEEDIN OUR ANIMALS EVERY MORNING.
7.WE WERE CARHARTT COATS AND JOHN DEERE HATS.
8.WE LIKE DEER HUNTIN SEASON.
9.WE THINK PUNKS ARE SKATEBOARDIN FAGGOTS.
10.WE THINK PREPS ARE BITCHES WHO ARE SKERD TO GET THERE DAMN HANDS
DIRTY.
REDNECK DEER STAND
COW-A-SOCKIE
Email: wranglerbutts@8Seconds.com
