An Angel's Vision
Warnings: Quatre's POV on love and Trowa. ^_^ This fic is/has/was... PWP-ish, shounen ai, deep thinking ( sorta, I guess ) ... I can't think of anything else.
Quatre and Trowa have a little talk after the war with Mariemia. Do love sparks come up and enrapture both into loving each other?
Ya know you can e-mail me comments/flames/maybe compliments?/suggestions to DeslyDuo@hotmail.com. ^_^v I like getting mail. Lots of it. Enjoy the fic now, ok?
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I guess it's over now. The gundams are gone, the peace is restored and Mariemia is reverted back to 'good' status now. Just like that, we have to leave. But I can't leave. I have a problem.
I just happen to be in love with Trowa Barton. I don't know if he loves me, not less like me. He's staring at me right now. What's he thinking? I always want to know what you're thinking, Trowa, what you're feeling, everything. Will you return to the circus? Go with the Preventers with Wufei? Maybe you'll team up with Heero in protecting weak people. How about helping Duo salvage spare parts into new things?
As for me, silent Trowa, I have a place to go back to with people that I know love me. Business is what my family has been doing and I have to do it. I just happen to own satellites, planets and other miscellaneous things that I can't name right now. I don't want to leave. Not now, not EVER. But, I don't know. I want to stay with you; I could drown myself in your green eyes forever, stare into your passive face and everything about you. I guess it's too much to ask?
Being an inheriter is pressuring, especially with 29 sisters. Having to deal with them along with the Maganacs is fine, really. I just wish someone would help me out with my love life though. Why? Oh, why? Please, give me an answer, Trowa. I guess it's time to ask you.
I walk up to him. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Hm?"
Well, geez, as Duo would say, cat got your tongue? I'm beginning to grasp American humor...
"Penny for your thoughts," I hear myself repeat and explain. "Just wondering what you're thinking."
You're not staring at me anymore. Something wrong? You're being more quiet now. Are you lonely? Sad? I know I am. It's funny how love works. It's only by fate and luck that two people just happen to love each other. Me, on the other hand, I love you and I can't say it to you for fear that you will leave me. Perhaps never see me again. That's a nightmare and I don't want to deal with it. It's too painful to even think about having that happen to me.
You look back at me in interest. Not knowing what's in your mind drives me crazy. Trowa...
"Have you," you're hesistating. Don't be afraid, ask away. I won't mind at all. "Have you ever been in love?" You're still looking at me like that.
YES! I want to scream that. IN LOVE! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU! But I can't, sadly enough. I'm scared that you'll never be my friend again. You probably wouldn't want to see me again either. So I turn myself around when I answer back to your question.
"Sort of." Honestly, that's the truth, well, partially.
"What does it feel like?"
WHAT!? Since you asked. It's wonderful, your knees go weak at the sight of the one you love, you want to hold, protect, gaze at your loved one. Your heart aches when they leave your side, but rejoices when they come back to reclaim you. You want to do anything for their happiness, as long as you're with that loved one. But how can I explain that to you?
"It's- it's complicated. Love hits you unexpectantly, usually. It takes a while to figure it out. But there could be a few factors that could make you think you're in love..."
"... really?"
"Yes... really..."
"Name some factors.."
I can feel my face burning. Allah, why is he asking ME, out of all people? Maybe because I've been in love before. Technically, no. Until I have met Trowa, I've never been in love with anyone. Guess that marks me as different. Gay? I don't like that term; it's too yeuck. Too straight forward. I hope my family can forgive me for being this way.
"Uhm, well, for starters," I hear my voice start. "When you see someone you love a lot, your knees could feel weak. Your heart might ache painfully for the person when you don't see them. You always feel like you need to protect the one you love and usually afraid that they'll leave your side. Those are just basics though..." I hear myself trail off.
"Then I think Heero's in love."
You know, if this wasn't so serious, I would've fallen over, literally. Hmm, Heero in love? That's old news to me. He's in love with Duo since he's clamped eyes on him and he still hasn't said anything to Duo. Then again, I haven't said much to Trowa so I'm practically the same as Heero.
"Yes, I seem to have noticed that too. With Duo, correct?"
".. yes... Heero should tell him. Duo would be happy."
I shift myself unsteadily. "Yeah, I guess so..."
Ok, now we're not talking. I want to hear your voice, say something! I'm begging you! Anything! I yearn to hear your voice, to see you is like a diamond sparkling in the moonlight...
Then I speak. "Are.. you in love? With anybody?"
He's probably not going to say anything. Nothing most likely. Or if he does, it's a girl. Pity, I'm a guy. You stare off into space with your green orbs cast forlornly at a random painting hanging in this room. Good thing I said anybody, if I said a girl, I would've kicked myself for that.
You drift off into your own world for the next five minutes, as I just stand there, staring at you. Your body, your face, your chest, your legs and your eyes. What are you thinking? Is it about the one you love? Maybe? Wish it was me. I always want it to be me.
You finally turn and look at me.
"Yes, I'm in love with someone; now that you've told me how it feels like."
My heart throbs violently against my chest. Pain... so much pain.. agony... who is it, Trowa? Tell me, tell me before I pass out. Is it someone I know? Someone we know? Me? Yeah right, in MY dreams. I guess my face looks very interested because you say something else.
"You want to know?"
I can feel my head shaking up and down obediantly. Stop! Stop! STOP IT! I can't let him know! He'll think I'm disgusting and won't ever want to do anything with me! But you open your mouth to say something.
"Do you really want to know?"
Yes, may Allah forbid it, but I need to know! Sorrow, pain, agony! This is too much for my heart! I place a hand over my heart, hoping to calm it and you stand there in shock.
"Did I, did I do something to upset you?" I'm upset because you're upset and I'm shaking. I shake my head in no. Being in love affects me so much. He's so sensitive...
"No. Are you ok?" You look at me with concern. I wish I could just melt in your arms and stay there forever, never ever moving from your body.
"Are you sure?" You look like you're about to catch me from falling or something.
I nod and everything goes black after that.
I weakly pry my eyes open to see a ceiling. How did I get into a bed? My heart feels better, but where's Trowa? I look around the room and I see it's Trowa's room. Oh no... my heart, it's all a flutter.
A sigh escapes from my mouth and I see you hurry to my side.
"Quatre? Are you hurt? Something? Anything?"
I look at you shocked. Your eyes have so many emotions flashing by me and I have been granted this opportunity to see this. Allah must've heard me.
You reach for my hand and pat it softly. Such gentleness for one so closed mouthed and deadly silent. I weakly grasp your hand and smile broadly in return. I think he returns my feelings, maybe. It's too late to stop myself, now is the time.
"Trowa, I'm not ok."
Your face suddenly turns panicky and you grasp my hand with both hands.
"Diseases? Heart problems? Previous injuries?"
My eyes twinkle in the reflection to the light of the room. "Forgive me if you don't return them."
You look at me confused. "Return what?" But your hands remain on my hand.
I take my other hand and hold both of his hands in mine. "I love you, Trowa. Always, now and forever. For me, it is fate and destiny. Maybe you feel the same, but I doubt it."
I take a deep look into his eyes, probing for any sign of emotion present. You look back at me in shock. Maybe I was too straight forward. Oh, Trowa, if only you could return my feelings. Oh, Allah, in my behalf, I have lost so much and I believe Trowa has lost much also. He's probably lost himself in this war. Lost child hood, no great memoirs to think of and to have few people to trust as a friend. Grant me this one wish, I wish Trowa would love once again. To bear feelings and not hide them so. This is my wish.
"Quatre," I hear you begin. Go on, say what you have to say. Most likely it's goin to be, I'm sorry I can't return any of your feelings or something. I've been preparing myself for this ever since.
"I'm sorry, but you're wrong." You slowly begin to finger my hand and it tickles my skin. What are you saying to me, Trowa?
"I love you too." Those eyes, those eyes hold love, for me. For me only.
I close my eyes, thinking it's a dream, and then I open them again. He's still there, holding my hand, never letting go of me.
"And I will never let you out of my sight." His mouth twitched into a small smile.
My eyes are watering up. I can't believe this. Once again, Allah must of heard me because I've wanted this for so long and now I have him. I tug his hands onto the bed with me and he climbs on. He sits there, looking at me. My god, he's handsome. In a uniform, he looks just as delicious. I've always liked a man in uniform.
He pulls me into his arms for a hug and I practically jump onto his lap. We sit there for a while and I lean my head against his chest, feeling his warmth and secruity.
I feel his face brush against my cheek and lay a kiss on my lips. I kiss back in ernest as I grasp his neck with both of my arms.
"Love you Trowa."
"I love you too, angel," I hear him whisper in my ear. That tickles... and it feels really good too.
I hope we can have fun later on. I've always wanted to do something in bed.
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~!~Owari~!~
Aww... sap sap sap... sap sap sap... hehehe. This is just waay too mushy.
Quatre: No it is not!
Desly: Oh no... *cringe* Not again.
Quatre: *brandishes a fan* Love is all about life! To love is to live! To live is to love! WE NEED BOTH!
Desly: *eyes Quatre oddly* You need a man, fast.
Quatre: Already got one.
Desly: Then you just need to get laid by your man boy.
Quatre: *turns red* Ah, ha, um, you haven't written that yet...
Desly: *runs around crazily* Why do you guys always blame ME for this?!! Why can't your boyfriends just screw you guys already!?!
Trowa: You haven't told me to yet.
Desly: *points to a random room* Go into that bedroom. You'll have everything.
Quatre & Trowa: *runs into the room and slams door shut*
Desly: *sweatdrops* Well, ah, hope you liked my fic and um, don't forget to write! *waves madly*
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