Zac-"What the hell is going on in here?"

I walk up the stairs after sending Lizzy to buy a bathing suit from the hotel, after spending almost 15 minutes arguing with her about the money. Our first fight...I can hear the wedding bells already.

I open the door just in time to see Taylor slam the phone into the cradle. I watch as tears spring to his eyes. A slow moan escapes his mouth, as Isaac asks, "Tay...What color?"

"Ike..." he says, barely in a whisper, "She said pink." with that he begins to sob, his entire body shaking.

"Okay, what the hell is going in here? What's pink? Did you have another laundry episode? Did it affect my underwear, 'cuz, you know-"

"Zac, Get the hell out." Ike says to me.

"Hey....!" I start, "This is my room too! I'm tired of you guys being all-"

"ZAC...! I'M GONNA FUCKEN KILL YOU IF YOU DO NOT GET OUT OF THIS ROOM!"

""WAIT!" I scream at equal volume. "I had something to say."

"You are a selfish bastard." Taylor spits at me. It's the first thing he's said besides "pink", and I still don't know what the hell that was all about.

"Zac? Did it ever occure to you that perhaps some people have bigger problems than you're underwear? Did you ever think that maybe not everything is about you? Do you really want to know what's pink?!?" Ike screams.

I stand, dumbfounded and confused. Tay looks up, "Ike, he wouldn't care."

"I think it might be a good thing to know what the hell I'm getting yelled at about."

"Zac, you're getting yelled at, not because of this, but because you're an idiot." Isaac tells me.

"I still don't think it's fair that I'm left in the dark."

"Do you wanna know what's not fair?" Taylor shrieks, "Lucy has made ONE mistake, that she's gonna be living out for the rest of her life, and I can't be there to help her through this, no! I have to listen to you bitch about your underwear!"

"I got over the underwear thing long time ago! Why can't you boobs? Now what the hell is pink and how does it make you cry? What does Lucy have to do with this color, anyways?"

"THE STICK!"

"WHAT STICK?" I holler back, "WHAT DOES A PINK STICK MATTER TO YOU?"

"BECAUSE IT'S NOT BLUE!"

"WHAT?????" I've given up on common sense. It no longer exists. Not in this zip code.

"THE STICK IS PINK! HOW CAN YOU NOT GET THIS?"

"What stick? Perhaps I'm missing something, or maybe once again, I am a stranger in a strange land."

"IT'S A PREGNENCY TEST!"

"What? Is mom having another one? She's running out of names."

"NO, YOU HEEL! IT'S LUCY'S PINK STICK!!!!!!!"

"oh."

It's at that moment that the door flies open and Dad rushes in. He's got a look to kill. "You boys better have an awful good explaination for waking up your sister every time she falls asleep for the past 24 hours."

"But dad..." I say, "It's pink."